From Eden
by VioletNoir
Summary: S3. Jim meets a new girl (not Karen) in Stamford. When the branches merge, it goes from fun and games to awkward and complicated. Not Jam, Jim is paired with an OC. OC is known to be difficult :)
1. Intro

**A disclaimer first**. I will be pairing Jim with a new character. I don't care if you like it.. A small note and tiny spoiler about the character I will be writing – she is no Mary Sue. There will be moments where she will say and do mean things and she will not be taking crap from anybody. If you don't care to read about such a woman, please don't.

We start at the beginning of Season 3, with Jim in Stamford. I will not writing about Scranton until we hit the Merger episode. Also, some Stamford characters are conflated/changed. Please, don't pay too much attention to that.

Having said that, I welcome any (constructive) feedback and am happy to discuss the early Jim/Pam/Roy dynamics (there are many anti-Pam rants in me).

* * *

 **Intro**

Talking Head 1:

A tall girl, about 25, sat looking at the camera. She was athletic, long auburn hair, hazel eyes. - Ok, so… Hi, I'm Lauren Webber. I work at Quality Assurance here at the Stamford branch of Dunder-Mifflin. And, uh… - She shrugs, not sure of what more to add. The crew asks a question off-camera. - "How did I end up here?" – she snorts. - Well-posed question. You don't really plan for this, you kinda end up here.

Jim's Talking Head:

I'm here at Stamford-upon-Avon; – He smirks to himself without any real joy – and I'm getting to know everybody. The work is pretty much the same, but the office is a little different. It's fewer people and they seem to get along pretty well.

The camera pans around the office to show everybody. They are either silent and calm, chatting or throwing out harmless jabs at each other.

Lauren's Talking Head:

The new guy noticed that? Yeah, that's nice. It's few enough people that we got to know each other pretty soon and we got friendly through going out together a few times… There's isn't much hostility or drama around here. I mean, we sell paper. Answer phones. Eat lunch. – She nodded a few times and fell silent. – Your documentary is headed down the slow lane of the soporific highway.

Talking Head 2:

Tall guys, blue eyes, short brown hair. - Alright, – The man says mock exasperatedly. – I'm Andy Bernard and, aside from being the Regional Director in Charge of Sales, I will be acting as Lauren's translator. You'll have to forgive her, she's straight outta college and she still speaks in SAT words. – he rolls his eyes, but gets defensive immediately. - I get it, you know. I went to Cornell and that was our _lingua franca_ , if you know what I mean. – he leans in confidently, proud of slipping in a "fancy" phrase. – And I assure you, the goings on at the Stamford branch will not make your documentary boring.

The rest of the office, including Martin, Tony, Hannah and some others are introduced and say what their position in Stamford is. The cameras follow them to their desks and show them going about their work day.

The rest of the day is mainly uneventful, with everyone working and slowly breaking Jim in. Hannah and Lauren sit next to each other at lunch, discussing a mutual friend's boy troubles. The rest of the office tell Jim some anecdotes about each other. Five o'clock eventually rolls by and everyone gathers in the hallway.

So, new guy. Big Tuna! – Andy starts to pal around with Jim and has a eureka moment when a nickname occurs to him. – We were thinking of going out tonight to welcome you to our ranks. I know you've been settling in for the past few days, but hopefully, you can join us tonight.

Jim looks around, not terribly excited. The rest of the office is politely enthusiastic.

It's just some pool and a few beers, we won't make you pour your heart out. – Lauren chimes in. She and Hannah share a look and nod in encouragement.

Sure, yeah, that sounds good. – Jim is politely enthusiastic in return. – Thanks, guys, that's really cool of you.

The camera shows everybody rolling out of the parking lot and into the town streets.

* * *

Obviously, it will get longer and more interesting. I will not be going into details about the people in the Stamford office, as they won't be here for long.


	2. Gaydar

Jim's Talking Head:

Last night was fun. Found out Andy was sort of a singer. Also, that he went to Cornell, have you heard about that? – Camera goes up and down. – Of course you have. And he's a sore loser.

Lauren's Talking Head:

Oh, yeah, he is. Some of us, like yours truly, are naturally bad at pool. Others have learned to kinda fake it if need be. Andy can be… competitive. But new guy here, he learned the hard way last night.

The camera shows a montage of Jim and Andy playing pool and Jim jerking the cue out of the way just as Andy was about to shoot. Everyone laughed at the small prank, but Andy was visibly upset. He, of course, tried to mask it later, advising him that pranking the boss is not a good first impression. Later on, Jim is showed to have let him win.

Lauren's TH:

But he's learning fast. I'm sure after last night, the people here are gonna let their crazy loose around him.

* * *

During a lull in the day, Andy turns to talk to Jim.

Hey, Big Tuna. You're single, right? – He turns in the direction of Hannah, by the water cooler. – Pretty hot, huh? – After Jim nods in a restrained way, he continues. – Completely crazy. Steer clear, Big Tuna. Head for open waters.

Ookay. – Jim agrees, chipper enough, but still lost as to where this came from.

Jim's TH:

I ate a tuna sandwich on my first day, so Andy started calling me Big Tuna. I don't think any of them actually know my real name.

Lauren's TH:

He said that to Jim? Ugh. Hannah absolutely does not have a thing for Andy. There you go. Crazy on the loose.

Andy's TH:

Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut your throat to get ahead guy, but, I mean, I'm not threatened by him.- He got look of smugness about him and leaned in - I went to Cornell, ever heard of it? I graduated in four years, never studied once, I was drunk the whole time and I sang in the acapella group _Here comes treble._

Hannah's TH:

The new guy? He's nice enough. I don't know how well he's fitting in here. He's always looking at the camera doing this. – She mimes Jim's classic look to the camera. – What is that?

* * *

Later on, when the diversity policy freshener meeting, courtesy of Scranton, was announced for the end of the day, Jim volunteered to cold call business startups.

Just before the lunch break, he got a call.

What's gaydar? Oh, oh, gaydar, yes! No, I think they have it at Sharper Image. Or, you know what, I can check for you. No problem. – After some exaggerated mock typing, he went back to the person on the other end of the line. – It's sold out. Yeah, sorry about that, that's a bummer.

Lauren overheard this and shot the camera a confused look. She was going to go over and ask him about it, but as soon the lunch break came on, he had his coat and seemed to be in a rush to get somewhere.

She spent the lunch break with Hannah and, among the topics discussed, was Jim's constantly giving the camera guys weird looks. Lauren shrugged, saying she didn't think it was that strange. As soon as Hannah looked down at her food, Lauren winked at the camera operated by Kurt, the guy that did most of her interviews so far.

* * *

Some time later, as Lauren was reading some product specifications and Jim was deep into his cold calling, Andy opened his drawer to get something and found his calculator jiggling in heap of Jell-O on a plate inside it.

Okay. – He said, annoyed, placing the installation on his desk. – Who put my calculator in Jell-O? Good one. But, uh… Seriously. – Lauren suppressed a snort, but was equally as confused as the rest of the office. Calculator in Jell-o? Who does that? Probably the same guy who talks about buying gaydars. No one else in the office ever did anything like this before.

Guys, who did this? – Andy repeated, his tone entirely serious. Lauren shot a quick glance at Jim, who was, of course, making faces at a nearby camera. Apparently, he didn't take the lesson about Andy's temper to heart.

Seriously, you guys, who did this? – as the silence and placid looks continued, he and his temper rose - I need to know who put my calculator in Jell-O or I'm gonna lose my frickin' mind! – He kicked over a trashcan standing next to an empty desk.

Jim, along with most other people, suddenly stared hard at his computer screen.

Who knows, boss? – Lauren finally said. She only ever called him boss to put him in a good mood or to ingratiate herself to him when she needed small favors. Worked every time. – It's just a joke. I'm sure you've had worse from your rowdy buddies at Cornell?

He contemplated for a second and then smiled, quite pleased with himself. – Oh, you have no idea. – He continued laughing suggestively for a while and finally said – Ok. Ok, whoever did this, you got me. It's pretty lame, by the way. But I'll let it slide. – He turned to the cameras and droned on about how we work hard and play hard, boys will be boys, girls just wanna have fun and some such.

Lauren raised an eyebrow at Jim and shot him a dirty look. He glanced left and right innocently, but finally smiled a conspiratory smile.

* * *

The end of the workday was near and the people were called into the conference room for the diversity training. Lauren was one of the last people to arrive as she was putting some material away. When she came in, there was one seat free near the door. Next to it was Jim, looking down on it, somewhat downtrodden.

Excuse me, is the seat taken? – Lauren asked.

No, go right ahead. – He perked up and moved to give her room to go around him.

After the introductory remarks, it was obvious the meeting was going to be the same paint by numbers stuff they'd all heard before. Jim recognized the man as Mr. Brown, the HERO guy who had talked to them in Scranton. Lauren remembered she had a question for him.

Hey, Jell-O bandit. – She whispered over her shoulder.

He smiled and looked around. – Who, me?

What was that stuff about a gaydar earlier today?

They paid attention not to disturb anyone or draw attention, but Jim explained a little bit about the phenomenon that is Dwight and his penchant for messing with him. Lauren fought hard to hold it in, but she did snort a few times and by the end, they were shaking with silent laughter. When the meeting was over, they were the last ones out even though they were sitting by the door.

Anyway, I'm here now, so I'll have to forget about pranking him anymore. – He said with a small amount of genuine sadness as he put his jacket on.

Lauren thought for a second and smiled. – Listen. Tomorrow, I have a little gift for you.

Yeah?

Yeah. Call it your 'welcome to Stamford' present. I think you're gonna like it.

* * *

When he came into work the following morning, there was a box on his desk. He opened it and inside were headphones attached to what looked like a TSA hand-held metal detector. One end said homo, the middle said bi and the other end said hetero. He looked from Lauren to the camera guys, some of whom were still setting up, and back to Lauren, the grin never leaving his face. It was the first time he felt genuinely elated since he left Scranton. And even before that.

He stared at Lauren for a few moments in disbelief and finally mouthed 'thank you'.

She smiled at him and then at the camera following them.

Lauren's TH:

How did I do it? I asked a few people for some favors and then I had me a project. I'm crafty. - She was asked a question off camera. – Oh, I think he's fitting in just fine. He'll be just fine.


	3. Doppelgangers

The camera showed Jim and Lauren walking down the hall together, having met in front of the building. They caught a snippet of the conversation.

Got up bright and early and mailed it this morning. – Jim said cheerfully. – I was gonna do it yesterday, as soon as I saw it in fact, but I didn't get the chance.

Oh, wow, you were excited. – Lauren laughed.

You have no idea! It was so good, amazing job, by the way. How did you even get it?

Well, this buddy of mine is a fighter… - Jim shot her a look, not understanding how that relates to the story. - That's a long story. Short version, he travels a lot and knows a lot of people. Like, _all_ the people. Basically, I told him it was an emergency and he got the goods for me – No way, Jim interjected – Yeah, and then I got to work.

It looked so real, it was unbelievable.

Aw, thanks. Hannah is the one that is artsy, but if need be, I can manage as well.

She is? I guess every office has one. – Jim looked at his feet as they were walking in.

An artist? Probably. Who was it in your office?

Uh… - Jim seemed suddenly aware of the cameras. – This girl, Pam.

Oh, that's cool. – Lauren, good at reading people, sensed he didn't want to talk much about her. - Any other doppelgangers? - Lauren checked herself and opened her mouth to use a synonym for doppelganger, but Jim clearly had an answer already. She bit her lip to stop the airflow and glanced down.

We also had a quiet big guy. – He said, tilting his head in the direction of Tony's desk, who was not there yet.

Hey, we take umbrage at that. – Lauren swung her bag from her shoulder and was about to put in on the floor, but Jim caught it half way down. – Thanks. I'll have you know we think of Tony as the quiet _weirdo_. – She quipped as she took her jacket off and moved to hang it. – Lovingly. – She halfway turned to the empty office, just in case the cameras were on her.

Well, then, I'll be taking that umbrage right back since Kevin, the Scranton Tony, is also quiet and weird. But we have too many contenders for the title of weirdo for it to be exclusively his.

Yeah? – Lauren raised her eyebrows as she took her bag back and extended her hand to return the favor. – Surely, someone must stand out.

Oh, man. – Jim stretched to his full height as he took his bag off his shoulders. Lauren had to tilt her head up to follow his eyeline. – Sure. – Jim stepped forward as he retrieved his bag from her, moved closer to her face and smiled. - You just custom made a gaydar for him.

* * *

 **A few weeks later**

Lauren's TH:

I'm sure every office has its idiosyncrasies. – Lauren grinned thinking of something - Like, Jim was telling me about this impromptu sort of Olympics they staged… - she checked herself and continued her story. – What _we_ have is _Call of Duty day_.

Jim's TH:

At the Stamford branch, they all play this WWII video game called _Call of Duty_ and they're all really into it. – He was obviously shocked at how much grown people are into this game. - I'm told it started as a team building exercise. Unfortunately, I really suck at it. We didn't play many video games in Scranton. – He got a wistful look about him. - Instead, we'd do stuff like, um, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And Pam called it… _pretendonitis_. – The camera lingered on his half goofy half sad smile at the end.

Every moment that didn't need to be devoted to an urgent current issue that day would have to wait. Everybody came in with their war faces on. One year, Andy wore a bandana, Vietnam movie style. They were playing and Jim seemed to getting the hang of it.

Why did you do that? – Andy turned to him, irritated, after he shot some of their troops.

Just killing Germans any way I can. – Jim said coolly.

We're on the German team. Shoot the British. – Andy was disappointed and resigned to losing with this dunce on his team.

Wait, are we playing in teams? - Jim turned to Lauren, genuinely confused.

Yeah. – She smiles, sympathizing with him.

* * *

After a small break of doing a little work, Josh, their Michael, would just turn off the lights and a new round would start.

I think we can be a big help to your company. – Jim was still on a call when this happened. Nobody so much as flinched, they were amped up to continue. - Ok, see you next week. Bye. Again? – He shot a desperate look to the camera, aware they couldn't help him.

After a losing streak, Josh came out urgently.

Andy, Jim, can I see you in the conference room?

Now? – Andy asked, eager to continue the game.

Yes, now. Put the game on hold, everybody. – Josh said, sauntering back into his office, Jim and Andy on his tail. - This is not working, ok? – He turned to them. - We are getting slaughtered out there.

It's the new guy. – Andy closed his eyes in frustration.

Oh, I'm sorry? I don't know what we're talking about. – Jim looked lost.

See what I mean? – Andy looked at Josh like Jim just tried to push a fork into an outlet.

We just need a strategy, ok? We're gonna set up a trap in the gun room. – Josh turned to the whiteboard and pointed to some graphics, clearly thought out in advance. - Jim, you using the MP40 or the 44?

It took a second for Jim to even make out what the question was referring to. - Um, sniper rifle.

Sniper rifle?! What? Are you playing for the other team? - Josh and Andy shouted about the same outraged questions at him a couple of times until the tsunami ebbed into Andy's repeating one melodramatic phrase. – Saboteur! Saboteur! I'm gonna kill you for real. – He got into Jim's face. Jim just stared ahead and hoped it would go away. - This game, the game is over, I'm really going to shoot you.

* * *

Lunch break couldn't come fast enough for Jim. Even then, people were just strategizing and retelling Call of Duty stories, old and new.

Lauren sat opposite him. – You look like you need respite from this. – Jim nodded. She picked up on their ongoing doppelganger/anecdote telling conversation. – So, we established our main weirdos, try-hards (Michael and Andy, in case you're wondering), we found a discrepancy in that we have no Angela-esque sourpuss here…

Correct. – Jim responded, taking a drink.

So… - Lauren was formulating a question when Hannah wrapped her arms around her waist.

What are you guys talking about? – She asked. – I can't listen to Martin and Tony brag about their kills anymore.

Lauren scoffed playfully. – Before we had you killing members of your own team, Hannah here was the worst player. – She wrapped her arms backwards around Hannah. - She's not too keen on CoD discussions.

Oh, yeah? – Jim smiled as if they were in the same boat.

Oh, no, I'm still leagues better than you. – The girls laughed as Jim threw his head back and looked at the heavens. - I just think Martin and Tony play about six hours a day.

Anywho… - Jim said in a tone suggesting he wishes to change the topic.

Lauren filled Hannah in. - We have these intermittent discussions about doppelgangers between the two offices. They also have an artsy-fartsy one – Lauren swayed left to right, moving Hannah with her to indicate she was talking about her – what was her name again?

Oh, uh, Pam. – It was a tic of Jim's, whenever Pam was mentioned to glance guiltily at the camera. Usually followed by dropping his gaze to the ground.

And, apparently, their boss is like an exaggerated Andy. – Lauren continued.

Ouch. – Hannah grimaced. – So who's Lauren's doppelganger?

I'm not sure. What is Lauren's label around here? – Jim asked.

Tony was going past them and only heard the last part of Jim's question.

The office hottie. – He said as Hannah was saying – The wise-ass.

The conversation grinded to a halt and looks were exchanged between all four. Hannah unclasped her hands from around Lauren's waist and just rested one on her back. Tony looked a little embarrassed, but Lauren cracked up and he smiled back, leaving. – Me then, I guess. – Jim answered, laughing just a tiny bit awkwardly. – I mean, I'm sure Dwight has called me a wise-ass, and worse. – He added, clarifying.

Who's the hottie, then? – Hannah asked.

His face went back to serious. Another guilty glance at the camera which was now shifting closer to him. – I, uh… I don't know.

Alright, then. Lauren and I come up with the office hottie here and you with office hottie over there by the end of the day. – Hannah decided, letting go of Lauren and going back to her food. Jim and Lauren silently agreed ad joined the rest of the office.

* * *

People's energy went up after lunch. During another game, they got even more into it, shouting things about riding someone's back or pumping them with their hot lead - especially strange coming from the girls – which were just ambiguous enough for the crew to get half a dozen Jim reaction shots.

Look how cute he is. – Hannah told Lauren and a camera currently filming them as she pointed to Jim's character running into a wall over and over. - And he's trying to shoot with a smoke grenade. – Lauren and Hannah giggled.

I'm sorry, what are you whispering? – Jim knew exactly what they were whispering.

Nothing, you just concentrate on turning around. – Lauren answered.- Just tap S then D. – Hannah added.

Oh. – He said as if that never would have occurred to him. He was quite happy as he finally turned and headed for the action.

Any last words? – Lauren asked as Hannah took aim at his character.

What? – He asked, concentrating on not getting stuck in front of another wall, oblivious to all other players. Head shot. Hannah's screen flashed "You killed Jim Halpert". The girls whooped. - Wow. Psychopaths.

Lauren, stop fraternizing with the enemy! – Andy barked. Hannah was on the opposite team.

The two girls high fived and Lauren went back to her desk to check how team was doing.

So you got killed before _I_ did? – Jim mocked.

Yeah, cause I was out there kicking ass and taking names while you were dry humping walls, my friend.

Jim feigned shock at her language by looking at the camera, mouth agape.

Did you decide on the office hottie? – Lauren asked.

Alright, new game, everybody! Switch teams! – Andy shouted.

The office filled with chatter from people recapping the game, some bragging, some squabbling.

I've been too busy dry humping walls and getting my brains blown. – Jim turned around and leaned in, trying not to let anyone else hear him talk like that. They shared an amused look, waiting to see if either would try to outwit the other. – But I don't even know that we really had a consensus on a hottie.

Lauren, Tony, strategy meeting! My desk! – Andy continued to give instructions.

You know how everybody's got that one friend who blah, blah, blah. And if you don't _have_ that friend, you _are_ that friend? – Lauren said as she got up and went past Jim's desk.

His eyes followed her up to Andy's desk and then he looked back at his menu. He didn't click on anything for a few seconds, just looking at his keyboard and smirking ever so slightly.


	4. Favor

Lauren's TH:

There was a business meeting in the morning. At times, it's easy to forget that the economy isn't exactly thriving or that there is some mind-numbingly boring work to be done in the office. Especially for young girls who don't really see themselves peddling paper their whole lives. Turns out we aren't always pageant ready.

Hannah, what's going on with Fairfield County Schools? Did you generate that price list? – Josh asked Hannah, who was last in line during his closing remarks/drilling.

Um, shoot. – She rummaged through some papers, already aware she hadn't done it. - I will, sorry.

Ok, just get it done. – Josh said, not concealing his frustration. - Jim, will you make sure?

Er, yeah, definitely. – Jim said professionally, though not thrilled.

Suck up. – Andy clumsily tried to mask an insult as a cough. He hadn't done anything wrong in the meeting today, so he was feeling superior. Plus, the concept of a competent, yet unobtrusive man might have baffled him. He therefore took jabs at Jim when given the opportunity. - Josh, did you hear what I said?

The word _irony_ marqueed in Lauren's head and her eyes rolled a little before she could stop them.

Thank you, everyone. – Josh concluded and was out the door fast. It was one of those meetings that was a grim reminded of their situation and the possibility of the branch closing. Nobody was exactly in high spirits as they dispersed. It was pretty quiet around the office for a while. Hannah apparently couldn't take it anymore and stepped out. Lauren followed. When the cameras arrived, Lauren was comforting her.

…so I would conclude nobody really cares one way or the other. – She finished.

I'm pretty sure Josh cares. – Hannah said, digging though her wallet.

Well… - Lauren had a look about her like she was about use an expletive, but caught a glimpse of the cameras. She reorganized her thoughts and continued. – One account isn't gonna dig us out of this problem or put us under either.

Sure, I guess. Damn it. – She said when the vending machine didn't have what she wanted.

What's up? – Jim was walking by and came in when he saw them both in there.

Nothing, we're just out of Herr's chips. But don't worry about it, my snack food doesn't fall under the umbrella of your authority. – Hannah answered, not in the mood for his smug charm.

That's where you're wrong. – Jim answered, unperturbed. He had every confidence he could charm any grudge away. - I'm your guys's project supervisor for the day and I've just decided that we're not doing anything until Hannah gets the chips that she requires. – He said looking from Lauren to Hannah. - So I think that we should go get some. – Hannah's face softened against her will and they both smiled. - Now, please.

As they went back into the office, Lauren shook her head at the camera.

* * *

Ok, that is a no on the West side market. – Jim said turning to Hannah as he hung up the phone. She and Lauren had switched seats till this Herr's debacle was over.

Ok, that's great, I think that's enough. Can I get back to work now? – Hannah said, amused and moved at how much trouble he was ready to go to.

Wow, never pegged you for a quitter, hanging out with Lauren and all. Isn't she into MMA and stuff? Won't she look down on you? – Jim teased.

I am not a quitter, I will do this all day if you want. – Hannah looked determined.

So, is Lauren… - Jim tried to expand on his previous question, but Andy was turned around and eager to join in.

What are doing, what's the game? I want it.

Oh, there's no game, we're just trying to get these chips for Hannah. – Jim answered politely, but visibly displeased with being interrupted.

Did you check the vending machine? – Andy asked slowly and sagely.

Ohh, the vending machine? How did we miss that? – Hannah's response was quick and sarcastic. She was really was getting into the character of Lauren.

I have no idea. – Jim joined. - We went right for the copier, and then we checked the fax machine…

Andy, displeased with being made fun of, pulled back. - Did you check…your…butt?

* * *

Hi, yeah, this is Mike from the West side market. Well, we got a shipment of Herr's salt and vinegar chips and we ordered that about two weeks ago… - Jim was unrelenting. Lauren and Hannah exchanged 'can you believe this guy' looks across the room. - Yeah? You have them in the warehouse? Great. – He gave Hannah the thumbs up. - What's my store number? – He looked like a deer in headlights. Clumsily he offered - Six… what, no? I'll call you back. - He hung up quickly and laughed at Hannah and then searched for Lauren to see if she was watching.

With no luck so far on the local front, Lauren decided to join the fun and try to help. - Ok, I'm calling the supermarket in Montreal. – She told Jim, back at her desk, while Hannah was in the ladies' room.

Nice! – He watched her dial the number.

Bonjour, je cherche des chips de la marque Herr's. – Jim watched amazed as Lauren calmly and effortlessly took this game to the next level. - Non? Ah, merci combien. – She hung up, pleased to have made a good impression. As she got up and went back to her desk, she shot a smug look to the camera while Jim was caught in the background mouthing _wow_ and pointing to her.

* * *

Lunch break came around and it was a small shock for the trio to see the rest of the office was still in the same morose mood as after the meeting. It made Lauren and Hannah grateful to be hanging out with Jim and to be taking part in his silly antics. They joined the general conversation for a while, but they eventually broke off to discuss their little quest.

So, the lunch break is almost over and the chips are nowhere to be found? – Lauren asked Hannah, feigning naiveté.

She let out a sigh and a disappointed – Yeahh.

I guess the whole day is just a… bust. So sad. – Lauren continued as Jim looked into the camera, chewing, with an expression of quiet confidence.

Look here, Webber. – Jim flipped his chair around and sat back down, chest against the back, facing Lauren. – Hannah is having a bad enough day as it is. Now you're rubbing the absence of Herr's chips in? That's cold. – Before Lauren could cut in, he continued. – So here's what we're gonna do. We'll have a bet I find those chips. – He extended a hand to Lauren. Intrigued, she took it and they shook. – If I win, you have to… - He started looking around the room. Finding no inspiration, he craned his neck to look into the office for some silly stake. All the while, they were shaking hands and Lauren's eyes were going up and down Jim.

I got it. – She finally said and pulled his hand steady and towards her, so he had to lean closer. His eyes widened. – Loser will owe winner one favor. They can ask for what they want, when they want, no refusal. – She raised an eyebrow to ask if they have terms.

Ohh! – Jim's expression was surprised, but it quickly turned pleased. – Deal.

Hannah mumbled into her glass – It's just chips, you guys. – They all laughed and headed back to work.

Hannah put a finger into the belt loop of Lauren's jeans to slow her down. – This isn't about my dumb chips.

It's _absolutely_ about your dumb chips. - Lauren smirked and grabbed her arm, ushering her away from the cameras.

Soon after, Josh was back and Lauren and Hannah switched seats and continued with their work. Their work work.

* * *

Lauren's TH:

Looks like someone's gonna have an as yet undisclosed favor at their disposal. Do you want me to gloat some more? Rub my hands ominously? Evil laugh? – She was told something off camera. – Oh, he looks confident, does he? That's just his face. I mean, I guess he could try to do it surreptitiously… but nah. – She stopped and thought for a second about something, then grinned. – That's just his dumb face.

Jim's TH:

She's celebrating _already_? – He shook his head and laughed. – Ohh, Lauren, Lauren. Then I'm about to redouble my efforts. Extra stealth. I'm coming for you, Webber.

* * *

It was close to four when Lauren got up to retouch her lipstick and on the way back, past Hannah's desk, there was a crunching noise. She was holding a small white bag. _Herr's Chips Salt and Vinegar_.

Lauren looked like she'd seen a ghost. – No frickin' way.

Hannah was munching in the most satisfied, amused way. – Yes way.

Is this for real; how? – Lauren ask, incredulous and a bit irritated.

He won't tell me.

Lauren headed straight for Jim's desk where he was sitting, glowing and complacent, and was about to shower him with questions when she remembered Josh was in his office. Not wishing to make a bad day worse, she went back to her seat behind Jim. - Where did you find them?

Where did I find what? – He replied without turning, smiling at the camera.

* * *

Lauren's TH:

What do you mean you can't tell me? So what if he asked you not to? Me specifically? Can he do that? Ugh.

Jim's TH:

I called the manufacturer, who referred me to the distributor, who referred me to the vending machine company, who told me that they sell them in the machines in the building next door. – He stopped and smiled. Lauren walked by the window, going to get her jacket. – Excuse me, I gotta go.

Hey, Lauren. – He sauntered over, grabbing her bag out of habit as she put her jacket on.

Hello. – She said, not meeting his eyes.

So, about my favor…

Wow. Not even an hour later, you're already cashing it in? Ever heard of delaying gratification?

You, me, cocktails. Shots. Transfats. Pick your poison, I'm buying.

Lauren paused. – Huh. That's not a favor, it's just a date. A night out. – She added quickly.

Yeah, and you don't get to say no. Pick you up at seven at your place and you think of where we're going. – He handed her bag back, not waiting for an answer.


	5. The Chair

Lauren's TH:

Oh, you caught that? I thought you were done for the day. Uh, yeah, we went out. Two people. Out simultaneously. In the same… geographical…location. Why am I being such a spazz? – Lauren whispered the last part to herself, rubbing her temples. It wasn't difficult to see she didn't like being caught off guard. – Yeah. – She had clearly decided to go with the truth. - We were both free and hung out last night.

Jim's TH:

We went out. It was great. So good to talk to her without worrying about the people in the office, Josh, the… – He was about to add a third to the list but stopped. – Just without worrying what we say, who hears what.

* * *

Later at the office, Lauren wasn't feeling quite right. Not sure why, she reached down into her drawer to get a piece of gum and then she heard it.

My chair is squeaking. – She stated. Realizing what happened, she glared in front of her, at Jim.

Is it? – He asked innocently, not turning.

You took my chair. – She accused.

No, I took back the chair you took from me. – He corrected. True, she had switched it on one of the first days he was around. But that chair had been moving all over the office. The rule they never said outright was if you could switch your chairs and the person didn't notice immediately, it was theirs till they could slip it to somebody else.

You know I'm just gonna take it back as soon as you get up. – She muttered just loud enough for him to hear.

Well, it looks like I can't get up then. – He finally turned around and flashed a defiant smile. There was a challenge in Lauren's eyes: get around the office for the whole day without getting up. He accepted by continuing to smile. Without skipping a beat, he pulled a paper out of a pile, rolled with an absurd air of dignity to the copier and just lounged next to it until he had finished what he rolled over to do.

* * *

A couple of hours later, it occurred to Lauren he would have to get up to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, it had also reminded her of her own bodily functions. All she could think about now was liquid being poured from glass into another. It was driving her crazy.

However, she had a simple solution to this. She looked over to Hannah, not wanting to call her and arouse Jim's suspicion. After a few seconds of Hannah not looking over, she cleared her throat. Nothing. She tapped her nails on the desk a few times. Nothing. Waved at Hannah with her hand about shoulder level so as not to be caught in Jim's peripheral. Nothing. Finally, she whispered her name.

Oh, Hannah, I think Lauren's tryna get your attention. – Jim said tauntingly. - Vis-à-vis stealing my chair, I presume?

Forget it! – Lauren barked, running to the bathroom.

* * *

The camera zoomed in on a text Lauren was typing.

"Jim gave me the squeaky chair. Get him to leave his desk. And DON'T do it as soon as you get this text. And DON'T turn around to look at me."

* * *

Hey, Big Tuna. – Andy got up and turned to Jim. - Can I talk to you for a second? – He asked a smidge too formally.

Sure. – Jim looked up at him.

Andy looked nervous and glanced in every direction. - Can you stand up… and talk to me over there?

Jim took his time, giving Andy enough time to get embarrassed, the camera guys enough to catch everyone's reaction before giving the camera his own notorious look and turning to Lauren. - That's it? That's what you came up with?

She just rolled her eyes at Andy.

I'm acting my heart out here! You asked for my help, so I helped. - He commented, sitting back down.

Weak. – Lauren muttered.

* * *

Just before lunch, Jim turned around.

Ok, ground rules? – He put his elbows on her desk. - You gotta be clever about this, ok? We're not gonna be racing back from lunch and playing musical chairs without the music. And enough chairs.

Gotta be clever about this? - Lauren repeated contemptuously. - Taking back what's mine?

It's company property. And yeah. – He smiled, knowing Lauren wasn't one to refuse a challenge.

Fine. – She said, rising to her feet and sizing him up. He did the same. – After you.

No, after you.

No, I insist.

Ladies first.

Damn. Nothing trumps 'ladies first'. Alright, Halpert. – He put his hand on her back as she squeezed past him and kept it there until they were at the table.

* * *

After lunch, a coworker with dark brown hair named Alice came over to Lauren's desk. - Hey, Lauren, can we talk? It's pretty urgent.

Another ruse, eh, Webber? You're not getting this chair back, see? – Jim said in his best 1940's detective voice.

Alice look disdainfully at him. She obviously had something on her mind.

Sorry. – Jim's face dropped.

Lauren went past him with Alice, tutting.

Hey, what happened? Do I put my foot in it; do I need to apologize to Alice? – Jim asked when she got back.

No, it's fine, she just needs me to babysit. – Oh, good – Yeah, she forgot it was their wedding anniversary, so she panicked and blurted out I was babysitting cause I'd babysat their older kid before.

That's nice, I also babysat for a coworker back home. - Jim said, still feeling a little embarrassed.

Cool.

So, when are you doing it?

Saturday afternoon and evening. She just wanted me for the night, but I said I was free all day. I'm sure she hasn't been out of the house much since she had the baby. Except for coming here. - She shuddered a little at the thought of work being the only reason one left the house.

Oh, wow, the whole day. – Jim was surprised. Spending a whole day with a kid was clearly not something he did often.

Yeah, I love it. – Not wanting to sounds like a hormonal ticking bomb, she added - Kids are hilarious. Her kid especially, she's firecracker.

Alright. Back to work. On my squeakless chair. Catch you later. – Jim rubbed in as he continued working.

* * *

Knowing no one in the office could trick Jim this late in the day, Lauren decided to go ballistic. Just rocking and moving any which way, causing as much noise as she could. Jim took it for a surprisingly long time without a counterattack, but then he went nuclear.

 _Love me, love me_

 _Say that you love me_

 _Fool me, fool me_

 _Go on and fool me_

He sang in a high pitch over and over.

No, not fair. – Lauren stooped moving in her chair.

 _Love me, love me_

 _Say that you love me_

 _Fool me, fool me_

 _Go on and fool me_

Now Andy was joining in. - It's gonna be stuck in my head all day. Please. This is not proportionate response. – Lauren moaned.

They heard Andy solo later in his TH segment.

* * *

Later on, Andy and Lauren were up getting a drink, chatting by the vending machine.

I just don't know about the artistic merit… - The camera following Jim caught a part of their conversation.

It's a classic, people love it. We should do a duet of it! – Andy suggested to Lauren enthusiastically.

Sure, we'll see. I do like that one song they do… _I changed my mind_ – She sang a tune, trying to remember the title. – Oh, _Erase and Rewind_.

Jim came in and was getting a grape soda, but saw both Lauren and Andy with bottles of water. – Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to ask, I don't see anybody drinking soda around here. What's up with that?

Andy began to answer. - Ever since Lauren's boyfriend came around…

Andy. – Lauren tried to protest.

… to teach us self-defense, we haven't been drinking sugary drinks.

Jim was stifled for a second. He looked at Lauren, but then at the camera and decided not to ask what was on his mind. – I'm sorry, how do the two correlate?

He's this big beefy guy – more protests from Lauren – and he talked to us about nutrition and lean muscle and what sugar does to you and it's horrendous. He opened our eyes. - Andy concluded solemnly.

Wow, Lauren's boyfriend sounds like a great guy. – Jim looked down, unopened soda in hand.

Clarification time. Joe is my friend… - Lauren started.

That you dated. – Andy interjected.

After shooting him a look, she continued. – My friend and he's fit and lean. That's all.

Dude's huge. Arms like Christmas hams. Strong jawline. Eyes like a wolf. – Andy would not let up.

Does wolf Joe come around a lot? – Jim asked neither Lauren nor Andy in particular.

He's traveling now. – Lauren answered shortly. – Why don't we head back? – She suggested before Andy could say anything else.

Andy was first, Lauren followed and Jim stayed back a second longer, leaving his soda on the table. He caught Lauren's hand and tried to ask her something without Andy hearing. – Hey, listen.

She slowed down and, so, the camera guys slowed down as well. This made Andy turn around. – What's up, Big Tuna? What's happening?

Neither Lauren nor Jim had an answer ready, so an awkward moment wherein Andy was clearly the third wheel ensued.

Uhh, I was just gonna tell her not to mess with my chair. – Jim said.

Take it easy, Big Tuna. Jeez, it's just a chair.

* * *

After they sat back, Jim waited a little while, so as not to draw Andy's attention.

Hey. – He turned around to Lauren's desk, uncharacteristically serious.

Hey. Listen, sorry if that got weird. – Lauren launched in immediately. She peered over his shoulder to make sure Andy couldn't hear her. – Andy has a tendency of making things weird. Think it was awkward hearing about the self-defense training? You shoulda been there. – She tried to relieve the tension with a lame joke.

Jim forced a smile out of his throat. – No, that's fine, I just wanted to see if you needed any company Saturday?

It took a second to get what he meant. – Oh, babysitting! Uh, well, I don't need it, I'm kind of a savant, but I welcome it.

* * *

Andy was getting ready to leave, he had on his coat, he just dropped by the table to put a folder back in. – Staying late, Big Tuna?

Yeah, I have a phone call to make. – Jim answered, lounging back in chair.

As Andy sat down, he heard his chair squeak. The camera panned from his face, which immediately fell, to Jim's, that grinned self-contentedly.

* * *

Dunder-Mifflin? – Pam answered Jim's call.

Hey. – He said, truly not expecting to hear her voice and with no idea what to say next.

Oh, my God! – She exclaimed and made no effort to conceal her shock and add anything else.

Hi. Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension. It's Fantasy Football night and I was just going through the system cause I didn't think you'd be there. – He explained and paused. - Why are you still there?

She filled him in on the day at Scranton and slowly, they started going off on tangents and they talked for a good while. Smiling and laughing all the while until they were interrupted and they awkwardly hung up.


	6. Princesses

Jim was waiting outside his place for Lauren. It was 1p.m. on a Saturday and they were going to a coworker's place to babysit her little girl and baby boy.

When they arrived, Alice thanked them profusely, left a number where they can be reached and showed them around the house quickly.

Her daughter, Heather, was 5 five now and remembered Lauren from before. She was a little shy around Jim at first, but she warmed up to him soon enough.

She was telling him a story about how Lauren used to have bright red hair and how she called her Ariel and they played princesses all the time. she was adorable; well-spoken, but still lisping a tiny bit and adults other than her parents were still romantic figures to her. Especially young and attractive ones.

* * *

At one point, after lunch and an art project involving cutting paper and making colorful hoops out of it for a necklace, Heather was tuckered out and needed a nap, even though she didn't take many naps any more. Mercifully, the baby was also sleeping at the same time. They checked on them to make sure they were asleep and then headed down, both in need of some rest as well.

Over a cup of coffee, they sat on the couch in the living room and got to know each other better. Jim was running down his family.

And a baby sister, Larissa. – He finished.

No way, I was gonna be named Larissa! – Lauren exclaimed, then brought her voice down, hoping with all her might she didn't just wake the dragons.

Really?

Yeah. Weirdly, both my parents have siblings with the same letter names. With my dad and his sister, it was accidental, but with my mom and her sister and late brother, it was on purpose. They all have names starting with P. Penny, Patricia and Patrick. Last was a little on the nose. – She noted. - Anywho, you know that show _Charmed_? – Jim nodded and she continued. - Well, they all have P names as well.

Oh, yeah. – He furrowed his eyebrows. Lauren found that looked really attractive on his face. Any time he moved his eyebrows some way, she always thought it looked really good.

Yeah. Well, I have this overactive imagination and, thankfully, I was old enough when it started not to get freaked. Had it started, like, two years earlier, I would have been convinced my mom's family was a coven of witches.

So how did Larissa come out of that? - He leaned on his hand and listened. Lauren was a very aware speaker and she usually wouldn't overwhelm a conversation and let the other person be quiet too long. But when she got a roll on, she had the best comments and asides, he loved those.

Oh, yeah. Neither my aunt nor my mom had more than one kid, so they couldn't continue this little tradition. So then my cousin was born first. Her name? Lara. Clearly, my mom wasn't ready to give up the ghost. So imagine if I were Larissa. Anyway, my dad vetoes Larissa and my mom bypasses him with Lauren, which always struck me as somebody pronouncing Lara with a full mouth.

Oh, god! – Jim put a hand over his mouth, stifling his laughter and hopefully keeping the kids in bed a little while longer - I wish you weren't right, I wish I could say 'hey, no', but, no, you're so on point.

I know. It can get confusing at family dinners, when someone asks "Laruh, hosh sh-cool?" – Lauren mimed an old uncle overeating and making small talk. Jim wiped the corners of his eyes. – People don't enunciate properly, don't you find? – She added, seeing how he always laughed at her comments.

Uh, my face hurts. – He rubbed his cheeks. – So you said something about an overactive imagination? - He asked as he composed himself a little.

Oh, yeah. Every book I read, I was convinced it was just some ancient lost transcript of a civilization or a record of a real event. Fairies, werewolves, vampires, I was convinced they were all real. You can imagine what it was like after watching a horror movie.

Oh, man. – He made a face, sympathizing with baby Lauren, scared of what's under her bed.

What about you? Imagination ever run away with you?

Not as much as you, but I do have those older brothers. – Lauren laughed immediately at his tone, knowing they must have pranked him mercilessly. – Exactly. Oh, you mentioned vampires. – He laughed, remembering a story. – When I was kid, they once convinced me over the course of a few days that they were turning into vampires. – Lauren burst out laughing. – Yeah. Completely bought it. I found out later they even got my dad in on it. Only when my mom found out, she shut the whole thing down. It was actually gonna be one of the pranks I pull on Dwight.

What, how? He's a grown man. –Lauren asked, loving the enthusiasm he had about livening up his place of work.

Yeah, but he's impressionable. I had a whole thing planned, I was gonna rehearse.

Rehearse! – Lauren repeated and laughed at the absurdity. She doubled over and leaned on his arm.

Yeah, full on. Rent a theater space. Run my lines. Use sense memory. – By this point, no sound was coming out of her, but she was head down, on his shoulder, tears gathering in the corners of the eyes.

Ow, my abs! – She said when she gathered enough breath, holding her sides and stomach. This sent them into another fit of laughter.

* * *

Later in the day, after the kids got up, they made another small meal for the baby, Lauren changed his diaper and Jim played with Heather, making robot-looking people out of blocks. At the moment, the baby was banging some musical toy and having a ball in a portable cot and Heather insisted she wanted to re-watch _The Little Mermaid_. As Lauren was putting it on, Heather waved her down to whisper something to her. Her lack if social finesse meant that, as she was saying something about Jim, she was keeping what could only be described as aggressive eye contact.

As Lauren sat back, Jim was too amused not to ask.

So what did she say? About me? - He put an arm around Lauren's shoulder to get closer and whisper into her ear.

That is none of your concern. It's official princess business. – Lauren just settled into his side and was a little more excited than she'd care to admit to be watching a cartoon.

They watched _The Little Mermaid_ for a few minutes and, having made sure Heather was riveted to the screen, then got up to do the dishes.

* * *

So I wanna ask you about the 800 pound gorilla. Literally. – Jim finally worked up the courage to ask about something that's been on his mind since he heard about it.

What? – Lauren asked, throwing away some uneaten food.

Beefy Joe. Wolf eyes. – He said in hushed tones, trying not to disturb Heather.

Oh, man. – She rolled her eyes. – What do you wanna know, considering you haven't even met him?

You dated? – He asked in a straightforward way.

Eh… I guess a little, yeah. – She squinted, like she was trying to remember or rationalize.

I'll get back to that half-ass answer later. Are you still dating? - He continued just as urgently.

No. Absolutely not. – Lauren was serious and sure of her answer.

That's better. – Jim was pleased.

Alright, at the risk of sounding crazy, who's Pam? – Lauren fired back, trying to remain cool.

Jim just continued to stare at her. – Artsy Pam? Pam with the pranks? From every story you seem happy to remember? The one that you always look away upon mentioning? Yeah, I also pick up on things.

Ok. – It was clear to him she wasn't picking this out of the air. – She's a girl from the office that I had a crush on.

Bullshit. – Lauren challenged his obviously trying to minimize this story.

What, why? – He looked up at her.

You're looking away like some child caught lying in a peanut butter commercial. Also, why would that still be so mortifying for you? Did you hook up? You still have a thing for her?

No, we never hooked up. It's mortifying because I told her and she didn't feel the same way. – Lauren gave him a look that clearly said she didn't believe him. – What can I say, I have an ego on me, it didn't feel good. But worse than that, she was engaged practically the whole time I knew her. So not only did I have a crush on my coworker who was obviously taken – he sighed, not believing he was about to revisit the most embarrassing and heartbreaking moment of his life - I made a move on her once, like a jackass. – He put his face in his hands with a nauseated expression.

Shit. I thought my stories were bad. – Jim laughed joylessly. – So is she married now?

Doesn't look like it, we don't really keep in touch, but a mutual friend mentioned the wedding didn't happen. – He was still looking kind of nauseated and, while she wanted to ask him how he felt about that news and about Pam now, she felt it was better not to.

Alright, I won't press the issue. At least this put a stop to the hearsay between us. I think I'm gonna go outside for a smoke. – She left the dishes in the water, dried her hands and stretched.

I didn't know you smoked.

Not all the time. - She muttered, exiting the kitchen and going past Heather. She could see some good songs were coming up in the film.

* * *

Jim stood in the doorway, watching Heather for a little while and joined Lauren a few minutes later. He sat silently next to her and watched her.

Want one? – She offered, honestly not knowing if Jim smoked.

Nah, I'll just take a drag of yours. – She held her cigarette up to his face and he took a long, slow drag, inhaled, and exhaled. After a pause, he kissed her shoulder and went back inside.

* * *

As they got back in, Lauren heard that _Poor Unfortunate Souls_ was on. Her favorite song. She inhaled excitedly, spirits immediately lifted. Jim noticed she walked slower and slower as they got closer to the kitchen, finally stopping in the doorway and crossing her arms, watching the screen as intently as Heather.

You do _not_ know the words to this? - He whispered, seeing her mouthing along with the song.

Ursula was wrapping up her monologue and Lauren picked it up from _body language, ha!_

 _The men up there don't like a lot of blabber_  
 _They think a girl who gossips is a bore!_  
 _Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word_  
 _And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?_  
 _Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation_  
 _True gentlemen avoid it when they can_  
 _But they dote and swoon and fawn_  
 _On a lady who's withdrawn_  
 _It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man_

She was doing her best Broadway performance and Jim was thoroughly amused. She obviously knew every beat of the song and even the Latin/Italian gibberish at the end.

They finished up in the kitchen and settled back on the couch as _Kiss the Girl_ was starting. Another classic that Lauren knew by heart and there was suddenly a freezing hole in her stomach. By the first chorus, Heather was turning around and looking at the pair significantly, then giggling to herself. It was cute how unaware she was of herself, probably thinking she's being inconspicuous, but it was also scary how nervous this made Lauren. She was suddenly all to aware of how the song might relate to Pam, to her, aware of Jim's arm, once again around her shoulder, of her left knee swaying. All at once, everything was on manual - breathing, blinking, swallowing, the swaying of the knee seemed to her weird and forced. If Jim was uncomfortable, he didn't show it. None of his muscles tensed, he made no move to readjust his body, breathing evenly, looking amused by the film.

The next time Heather turned around, Lauren was ready. She caught her gaze and started singing along.

 _Boy, you better do it soon_  
 _No time will be better_  
 _She don't say a word_  
 _And she won't say a word_  
 _Until you kiss the girl_

 _Sha-la-la-la-la-la_  
 _Don't be scared_  
 _You got the mood prepared_  
 _Go on and kiss the girl_

Lauren was singing in Sebastian's voice and Heather was quite literally rolling on the floor, laughing. Feeling like the tension, if there was any, was broken, she leaned back.

Err, that was offensive accent. Don't tell anyone I did that. - Both she and Jim laughed.

* * *

After they put the kids to bed and waited for Alice and her husband to return, they talked about random innocuous things and watched snippets of TV programs and commented on them.

Alice thanked them profusely when she got back, even though she had done the same before they left for the day.

* * *

When Lauren dropped Jim off at his place, she wasn't quite sure what to expect. Last time they were out, they had a few drinks and made out. They kissed on the cheek and hugged quite warmly before they said goodnight. On the few steps back to her car, however, Lauren felt like it was bit of step back, though, but decided not to dwell on it.

Jim was almost at the door and was remembering the feeling of laughing hysterically at each other's stories earlier today. What a lovely feeling, of wanting so badly to be with another person, of feeling endorphins and serotonin flow through your body, making you tingle and lifting your spirits.

He ran back the few paces between them, turned her around, arm around her waist and waited a beat till neither was caught off guard. They shared a quick enthusiastic smile and a sweet kiss on the lips.

* * *

Alright, so tell me what you think so far :)


	7. Shots

Lauren's TH:

My weekend was fine. Out of the ordinary? Let's see… Uh, no. – She smiled, knowing they couldn't pull any video.

Having walked in pushing a bike, Jim tried to surreptitiously wipe some sweat off his face. Redundant, really, as he was disheveled – more so than usually – and sweaty all over. He bumped his bike against a chair by Andy's desk, who stared at him, a little shocked at this new look.

Jim's TH:

I started biking to work. – He explained. – Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also, it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment…and…now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.

Nice basket. - Lauren noted as he sat down. She was looking at her screen, not him.

Thank you. – He replied simply, with a bright smile. The smile was audible in his tone, even if she didn't look up.

* * *

Lauren, my chips got stuck in the vending machine again. – Tony said. It seemed like this was a regular occurrence. – I need your skinny little arms.

Oh, ok. Did you shake it? – She asked, getting up from her desk.

Yeah, I shook it. – Their conversation faded away as Andy swiveled in his chair to face Jim.

We have such a roller coaster thing, Lauren and I. – He commented, staring in the direction in which she had just gone.

Excuse me? – Jim said, not really interested in having this conversation, but not about to let his ego be bruised this way.

Roller coastery friendship. Hot and cold. On again, off again. Sexual tension filled type of deal. – Andy rambled on. – It's very Sam and Diane. – He sounded less and less convincing as he progressed.

Wow. – Jim looked unimpressed.

From _Cheers._

Yup. – He continued to stare at Andy until he stopped nodding, shifted uncomfortably and went back to work.

* * *

Josh rode in on his bike and was currently making his way through the office and stopped at Lauren's desk.

Alright, I think you should be all set. Here's the corporate card for dinner. – Thanks – Lauren? Let's keep it to $20 a person.

Got it. – She said seriously, but her face was a little 'oh, gimme a break'. Jim was turned to her desk - there was a lot of neck craning coming from him lately – and they smiled at each other.

Jim's TH:

Once a quarter, the sales and quality assurance staff of this branch has to stay late to do order form consolidation which, amazingly, is even less interesting than it sounds.

* * *

Once the coast was clear, Andy turned around, with mischief written on his face. – You guys ready to party?

Jim looked up. – What's that?

In the back, Lauren seemed to know what was going on, but didn't look like she was terribly into it.

I said, – Andy started, reaching for something in his drawer. – Are you ready to PARTAY?! – He finished high pitched, retrieving three shot glasses and a bottle of _Jägermeister_.

Lauren's TH:

I don't how this got started. I think Andy was in cahoots with the person who was doing my job before me and just continued when I arrived. There is basically no supervision and the work is so boring, you really do need to be lit up just to make it through. That's why people would get drunk during the Civil War before a doctor hacked their leg off. By the way, I never drink. During this game, I mean. They just think I can really hold my liquor and then I just drive everybody home.

* * *

Hey, Big Tuna, are you ready? – Andy choose another arbitrary moment to initiate a round.

Yup. – Jim looked up from his screen.

All three of them raised their glasses as Andy counted to three and called 'shot'. Jim and Andy downed theirs, while Lauren poured hers into a take out container she had saved in her drawer from lunch. The two men made noises as the liquor burned its way down into their stomachs and Jim turned to Lauren, grimacing. She grimaced back and pretended like she was feeling the same.

Holy mother of God! – Jim exclaimed, looking surprised at how composed Lauren was.

That burns! – Andy complained in the front.

* * *

Several more rounds of this later, Andy was literally on the floor, having complained about the room spinning and Jim was head down on his desk, his phone buzzing.

Lauren was going through some lists and forms, getting ready to wrap up this pow wow.

Andy, no acapella. – Lauren admonished as he stated to slur a song. This didn't stop him for long, as well she knew it wouldn't. It was hard enough to stop him when he was sober, let alone when he was this drunk. To her exasperation, Jim joined him. This only encouraged Andy and fueled his drunken antics. He started singing louder and even got to his feet.

Tuna! Are you kidding me?! – He yelled at Jim, who probably meant to rub his eyes, but was currently mushing his whole face.

* * *

Ok, bye, guys. – Lauren said, going past the two drunken men.

Jim waved and continued to randomly open and close folders, shifting random piles of paper from to another. – Hey, can I have a ride, man? I uh, I have my bike. – He asked Andy, who was out his view, on the floor again.

No way, dude. I am not driving home. – He answered, spreading something across the floor. – I bought an inflatable bed for just such occasions. You're welcome to share it, though, it's a roomy twin. – He offered.

Okay. – Jim said, but shook his head no and got his bike.

Outside, he seemed relatively stable getting on his bike and riding the first few feet, but he just eventually lost balance, started swerving all over the place and toppled over. At this pace, he wouldn't even get out of the parking lot by morning. He grunted getting up and looked like was about to give it another go when Lauren honked.

Hey, dummy, get in the car. – She laughed, getting out to help him.

I'm a drunk driver. – He said self-effacingly, but his face was goofy and undercut his solemn tone.

Yes, you are. Here, let me take that. – Lauren ran over, not wanting him to fall over. He really didn't look stable pushing the bike. - Just get in the car. – She told him, taking the bike away.

Hey, you can really hold your liquor. – He sounded impressed and was wobbling even worse now, without the bike to support him.

Yeah, and you can't. – She noted. He had some trouble opening the door, so he leaned on the car while Lauren opened it.

And I am just gonna lie down in the back, if that's alright. – He let his body slump down without waiting for a reply.

Sure. Here's your bag. – Lauren threw in his bag by his feet. - Just don't puke on anything. You okay? – She asked, making sure he wouldn't fall asleep.

So good. – He slurred.

Good. – She replied, trying to keep him up till he got home. - Can you sing something for me? – She asked, hoping that would do the trick. - You sure were into singing back there with Andy. – She muttered to herself.

I hate Andy! – Jim snapped back.

Oh? Why? – Anything to keep him up.

He's so obnoxious. – He stumbled over that word a little. – Always with the comments and whatever. Sexual tension filled. – He spat. – What a jerk.

What are you even… - Lauren said to herself, craning her neck to make sure she was taking the right turn.

I'm not buying it. – He said like was having an argument with someone.

Alright. – She agreed, not used to this belligerent tone from him.

And then with the stories about Joe. All weird and homoerotic. Like, are you jealous or are you, like, in love with him or something? And first Hannah! Like I would move in on Hannah. And now Lauren?! Back off. – Jim continued his argument all the same. The alcohol was taking over him more and more as time passed, he wasn't making any sense, jumping from topic to topic and slurring more and more.

* * *

He was still ranting when they arrived. She told him to stay put while she put the bike away. In the interim, he had pretty much fallen asleep. She shook him and dragged him out of the car. Wrapping one of his long arms around her shoulders, she hoisted him up and walked him to his apartment. She leaned him up against the wall and searched his pockets for his keys. Not finding them, she got a little panicked. She searched again and kept asking him if he knew where they are. When he finally sort of came to, he showed her they were in his hand all along. She snatched them a little angrily and unlocked the door, hoisting him up again and guiding his steps.

She let him sit down for a second, but didn't feel right leaving him alone immediately. – Hey, why don't you come into the bathroom and wash your face a little?

Uh huh. –He agreed and just fell back on his bed. Resigned to having to move him around like a giant marionette again, she sighed and went back into the room. Once in the bathroom, he sat on the side of the bathtub and teetered dangerously before grabbing her waist and leaning his head against her.

Okay, let's wake you up. – She slapped him lightly a few times and sprinkled some water on his face. – Oh, man, this takes me back to college. It was usually my friend, drunk off her ass, mascara running…

Oh, is my mascara running? – Coming to a little, he grabbed his cheek.

That charm of yours has no off switch, huh? – Lauren asked, applying more water to his face and the back of his neck. That woke him up some more.

He just threw his head back, exposing his face to her. Smiling widely, with his eyes closed.

Alright, let's go to bed. – She pulled him up and back towards the bed. He just fell on it, work clothes and shoes still on. – You should really take your clothes off. It takes a minute and you'll be so happy you did in the morning.

He rolled on his side and fiddled with a button for a while before, apparently, forgetting what he was doing and giving up. She sighed and did it for him. There was nothing sexually suggestive about it, it was like changing a giant baby. She took off his shoes, unbuttoned his shirt, belt and pants and shook him awake, instructing him to just pull it all off. He sat up and did, then rubbed his eyes and stretched, looking around the room like he wasn't sure exactly where he was. He made eye contact with Lauren, like he was surprised she was there and smiled sweetly.

Hi, there. - She said. - I think you'll be fine now. I'll just set your alarm for work tomorrow and see you there. – While she was talking, he scrambled to his feet. He just stood next to her, watching her face till she turned around. – What is it? – She asked, as if a toddler had wandered up to her.

I…would like to kiss you. Or touch you. Or something. – Jim stated. – But I'm so drunk. I'm pretty sure I'll miss.

Yeah. – Lauren laughed. He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. – There you go. Goodnight.

He shook his head. – No, stay, it's late.

It's not that late, you're just drunk like you partied all night.

Well, either way, I don't think I'm safe alone tonight. – He protested.

Mmh. You're a big boy. Just put a trashcan by the bed and sleep on your side.

He hung his head in defeat and took her hand. – Thank you, Lauren.

You're welcome, Jim.


	8. Branch Closing

Who are you faxing so early in the morning? – Lauren asked, coming into work to find Jim already settled in and at the fax machine.

Past Dwight. - He said matter-of-factly.

Ah. – She continued to her desk.

Jim's TH:

I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery. So, form time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future.

"Dwight, at 8 a.m. today someone poisons the coffee. Do _not_ drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight"

* * *

Lauren's TH:

As is the case with most rumors, we don't know who started it or how reliable it is. But I was told this morning that the Scranton branch is closing. – Lauren paused, sympathizing with the possibility of those people losing their jobs. – I think it's gonna be a long day.

When nobody was around, Andy would occasionally put his head in his hands and groan, still hung over. After one such groan, Lauren laughed to herself and heard Jim laugh a little too. – How are you holding up? – She asked.

He turned around. – I expected it to be worse. – He stopped, not sure how to ask the next thing. – Uh, you drove me home last night, right? – He asked quietly, hoping the cameras weren't on them at that moment. Lauren nodded, her facial expression blank. She was interested to see where this was going.

Was I… I didn't, like… - Jim wasn't sure what he was asking, really.

Lauren's face got serious. – I didn't feel safe.

He suddenly looked sick. She let him squirm and search for words for a few beats and then laughed. – You were fine. You're a very talkative drunk and you were a little petulant about undressing, but it's nothing I haven't encountered before.

He seemed to blush a little. – I am so sorry. Things just got away from me last night.

Forget about it, really. Hey, um. Did you hear about your friends in Pennsylvania? Rumor has it that the Scranton branch is – Lauren did the 'getting the axe' hand motion.

Really? - Now he _really_ looked sick. - Wow, that's bad.

Um, sorry? – Andy heard the last portion of the conversation. - Scranton branch is closing? In your face! – He gloated.  
Well, I work here now. – Jim answered evenly.

Sssucka! – Andy said in accent he had no business putting on.

* * *

Stamford Connecticut! Stamford Connecticut! – Andy lead the chant around the office after the rumor had spread more.

What happened? – Josh got out of his office.

I think the word got out about Scranton. – Jim answered.

Huh. – Josh wasn't thrilled about this.

Hey, do you know any more details on that? Like, is anybody transferring here or…? – Jim tried to sound nonchalant.

Uh, nothing's definite. In fact, you know what, excuse me. - Josh spoke to the office. - Everyone, I know there are some rumors going around, but nothing is definite, alright? You guys have done a great job getting our numbers up around here, but until this thing is official, let's just keep working, you know. Be professional. – He tried to bring the energy down.

Ladies and gentlemen, our fearless leader, Josh Porter! – Andy announced pompously. - Josh, take a bow. Take a bow! – Josh looked humble and made his way back into his office.

Jim's TH:

I think it would be kinda weird if everyone from Scranton came here. It'd be like, uh, gong to your high school reunion and you saying "hey, I missed you guys" and they're all like "oh, don't worry about it, we're all gonna move in with you. Forever."

* * *

After last night's drinking and this morning's news, Lauren thought she'd let Jim have his space and went to lunch with Hannah. Martin, Hannah and Lauren were eating and talking.

So what happens now? – The two young women asked Martin who, still a young man himself, had more experience than them.

I know that in some cases, branches will absorb one another – Martin answered – but I don't know if it's doable in this case.

So they're just fired then? – Hannah asked, surprised.

I don't know. If they are, I'm pretty sure they get a severance.

Shit. – Lauren exhaled and immediately slapped a hand to her mouth. Ever since this documentary started, she's really had to learn to censor herself.

There was no more room at the table, but halfway through lunch Jim appeared and just pulled up a chair behind Lauren. Seeing him in a mood like this for the first time, the mother/potential girlfriend in her was surfaced; she wanted to put a hand to his cheek and comfort him, but had to stop herself. Instead, she just gave him a look that said 'hang in there'.

You're not eating? – She asked.

No. After last night and this morning, I kinda feel queasy. – He was resting his elbows on his knees.

It didn't happen a lot, but Lauren didn't know what to say. Having majored in philosophy and read many books for a woman her age, she usually had some advice or a good quote to paraphrase and being naturally a people person, she learned to defuse tension with jokes, but this was untrodden territory. Saying something like 'it'll be okay' when no one really had any way of knowing for sure yet, seemed vacuous.

* * *

After lunch, Jim made his way into Josh's office. - Hey, do you have a second?

Sure, what's up?

I know it's not definite or whatever, but uh, do you know who's coming over here from Scranton? – Jim asked.

I honestly don't, I don't know. – Josh was somewhat amused, seeing as Jim had already asked this s couple of times before.

Ok, so it is like sales or accountants… - Jim pressed on, not taking the hint.

You know what, Jim? I wouldn't worry about it. – Josh said politely, but in a tone that signaled that he was not having this conversation with him again.

What does that mean? – Jim was about to continue, probably till he got kicked out, when Jan entered.

Hi. Oh, good, you're both here. – She sat at the desk. - Ready to talk logistics? – Jan asked Josh.

* * *

So Josh will be running what is now called Dunder-Mifflin Northeast, which is all the offices north of Stamford and Jim, if you want the job, you'll be his number two. – She offered happily.

Wow. Uh, sure, absolutely. – Jim was flattered and felt a little relieved.

Excuse me Jan, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to stop you there. – Josh cut in. - I… will not be taking the job.

Wh-excuse me. Why not? – Jan was taken aback, but her irritation was instantly visible.

As of today, I have accepted a Senior Manager position at _Staples_. – Josh announced.

Today? You leverage your new position with us into another offer? - Jan asked, incredulously. - Dammit it, Josh, this whole restructuring thing was based around keeping you.

I'm sorry, alright? It's done. It's done. – Josh seemed genuinely sorry, but he was not about to change his decision.

I'm gonna make some calls. Excuse me. – Jan got to her feet, not about to let Josh ruin everything.

Jim's TH:

Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that.

* * *

Minutes dragged on. Jim was alone, pacing in Josh's office. Lauren was getting back to her desk and gave him an interrogatory look. He just shrugged back, honestly having no answers. Jan came back in, trying to look as professional as possible.

Soo, we are still scrambling here, - her laughter came out a little choked - but it looks like Scranton is going to absorb Stamford. - Wow. - And I know that you just left there a couple of months ago, but we would like to offer you the number two position at that branch. – Jane finished, smiling courteously.

Thank you. – Jim looked down.

Yeah. - She chirped happily. She'd always thought Jim was smart and could do way more than he was doing. Not that she blamed him.

No, it's just, I'm not sure if I uh. – He paused, not wanting to heap more problems on her today. - To be quite honest with you Jan, I have a few unpleasant memories of Scranton and um…

Jan interrupted with an exhausted sigh. - Michael.

No. No, no, no. – Jim insisted. - It's just uh, some personal stuff. And I'm not really ready to revisit that, I don't think.

Ah. – Jan understood. - Well... Please think about it. And call me; we will do whatever we can to get you to stay.

Okay. – Jim agreed.

* * *

Andy sang a made up news program jingle. - Dunder-Mifflin action news. – He said in a mock reporter voice. - Big Tuna. Will Jim Halpert be transferring to Scranton? – He asked, pointing a pen at his unamused face like it was a mic.

Oh, I dunno. – Jim said, in no mood for Andy's beating around the bush and fake upbeat behavior. - Jan offered me the job and I haven't really decided yet.

Yeah, well if I don't get transferred, I'll probably be fine. – Andy sighed, finally getting to what he really wanted. To comfort and reassure himself. - Cornell has an extensive alumni network, so… we look out for each other. I'll probably go back and teach or something.

Jim looked up, like he was genuinely intrigued by something he said. - Where'd you go to college?

Cornell. – Andy answered after a pause, shocked that Jim wouldn't know that.

Oh. – He said, like it was the first time he'd ever heard about it. - That's good. – He gave the cameras his signature look and Lauren was happy to see he wasn't entirely defeated.

* * *

There were only a few hours left till the end of the day and Lauren threw a paper ball at Jim's head to get his attention. - What are you gonna do? – She asked, the first person to ask for unselfish reasons.

I really don't know. – He smiled, looking aimless. - How are you doing? In all this? – He asked after a pause.

Eh, I'm fine. – She shrugged. - I'll be better when I know if I have a job. – She muttered.

You'd actually move to Scranton? – He laughed as if she'd said the most absurd thing he's ever heard.

Yeah, if they let me. I think I would. – She said casually.

New York City is 45 minutes down the road from here. And you wanna move to Scranton? – He looked at her like she was crazy. He may not have noticed, but this was exactly the kind of tone Lauren hated. - I dunno, if I were you, I'd move to New York.

Yeah, you know, I might do that. – She looked away, ready for the interaction to end. - Who knows.

* * *

Kurt, the camera guy who mostly followed Lauren, got her attention and pointed to Andy raging in the break room, throwing papers around and trying to stifle angry screams. She laughed a little and shook her head, but quickly remembered the reason behind his behavior. If she were a little less level headed, she would probably be doing the same now. She settled on taking the day out on her punching bag when she got home.

Hey, Andy. – Josh stopped by on his final way out.

What's up, Josh? – Andy tried to look nonchalant.

I just wanna say thank you and good luck. – Josh shook Andy's hand.

Yeah, man, totally. – Andy continued trying to act cool, it was his default whenever he was caught off guard.

* * *

There was an hour and half left before quitting time, but when Jim came back from the bathroom, half the office was gone.

Hey, where is everybody? – He asked Hannah, who looked like she was in a hurry.

After Josh left, Alice from HR came around and told us there was no point in moping around here till five. – She answered, picking up Lauren's wallet from the desk.

Hey, what about Lauren? I wanted to tell her something… - Jim looked around. He realized he wanted to add something to their previous conversation, but he kind of knew already she was gone.

Hannah sighed and looked a little irritated at him.- Yeah, she left. I'm meeting her now just to give her the wallet, she forgot it here. – With that, she was out the door.

Jim sat down in the half empty office, looking unhappier than he did all day.


	9. A Day Off

The next day, Lauren wasn't at work. Jim asked around and was told she took a sick day. A plan hatching in his head, he called Jan. He told her something came up and he needed a day off to take care of it and also to mull over the job offer in his head and make arrangements accordingly. Jan was fine with this and within an hour of arriving, Jim slipped out of work.

When he was out of earshot of the cameras, he called Lauren. Her phone rang a few times before she answered. – Hello?

Hey, Lauren, it's Jim. You weren't at work, I was just calling to see if you were okay.

Err, yeah, I took a sick day. – She replied, not offering any details.

Are you alright? – Jim repeated his inquiry.

Um, on the record – she faked two coughs – I'm coming down with what I suspect to be a 24 hour bug. Off the record, I just didn't wanna come in today. – She answered honestly, not one to play games.

Jim let out a small laugh, feeling like he was probably part of reason she wasn't in a great mood. – Hey, can we talk? I men, get together and talk. I also got out of work, I was hoping to see you today.

Actually, I made plans and I'll be out of the house till the afternoon. – She replied.

And uh, do you know when you'll be back? Could I come over then? – Jim insisted.

I really don't, no. – She sounded apologetic and a little uncomfortable.

Well, can I call you later, then? And if you're free… - Jim offered.

Sure, yeah. Sure. – Lauren answered in a high pitch, not sounding too convinced.

* * *

Jim went back home and packed a few things. This got boring and depressing soon, so he had a snack and flipped through the channels for a while. Finally, he decided to go to Lauren's place and wait for her. He biked over and spent a good while pacing around her street, listening to his iPod.

* * *

He was sitting on her porch when he saw a car pull up. Lauren was in the passenger seat.

Oh, God. – She said to herself seeing him there.

You know that guy? – The man driving asked her, sounding suspicious.

Yeah, it's okay. – She sounded resigned. They kissed on the cheek and she got out of the car. Jim noticed the driver was looking at him hard as he pulled away.

Hey. – He said, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. It was a shock to see him, but there was a little amusement at seeing him in jeans and a fitted long sleeved shirt as opposed to his usual suit. He was also looking at her gym outfit, tights and an old hoodie.

Hi. – She answered politely.

I'm sorry it this is weird, I just wanted to clear some things up and I'll leave. – He said quickly, negotiating in advance.

Oh, no way. You're coming in. – She offered out of a sense of responsibility. – How long have you been waiting? I can't just let you leave like that.

Oh, like two hours. Thanks. – He said as she opened the door for him.

Make yourself at home; I'll just change real quick. – She said, leaving him in the hallway and going into her bedroom.

* * *

He was on the couch when she came out a few minutes later, in a simple black and white striped shirt and baggy jeans. She sat opposite him, not sure how to begin. They shared a tight lipped smile. – So… I'm hungry, are you hungry? – She offered.

He nodded, happy at the prospect of staying at her place a little while.

They ordered pizza and had some wine, talking about random things, slowly getting more comfortable. They listened to a few songs and watched some funny videos on YouTube as they came up in conversation. As the calorie intake and wine made them a little sleepy, Lauren was lying on her back, legs dangling from one end of the couch as Jim sat on the other end, looking down at her as she talked.

…well, I majored in philosophy and when I was about 20, I was in love with Bertrand Russell. – Jim nodded, vaguely aware of the name. - All I did all day was read his essays and be amazed at how erudite and far sighted he was. I thought that was it, that's what I wanna do with my life. Be Bertrand Russell. Not the Bertrand Russell of my generation. No. The man himself. I realized eventually that was probably the least likely thing to happen and was no way to earn a living. Then I fell in love with Neil Gaiman's short stories and thought I might write children's literature. Like, disguise big life lessons in stories. – He nodded and smiled. - But then, Dr Seuss and others had kinda beaten me to the punch. And after college, getting out there without a safety net, I was honestly relieved just to have a paying job. I hadn't been thinking much about the future since then. – She finished, not exactly sad, but on a definite low note.

They were quiet for a second, Jim taking her story in. – I understand. In a way, at least. I was convinced I would pay pro ball. – Lauren snorted and looked a little surprised. - It's true, as funny as it seems now. As level headed as you were, I was just the opposite. It was a huge shock to me to find that outside my school, there were better players. People who made me feel like a 4'7'' pensioner trying to play ball. – She laughed, but also clearly sympathized. - I didn't even process that disappointment at the time, but in retrospect… yeah. I didn't care what I did after that. One day, I woke up working my fourth year at Dunder-Mifflin and realized this is my life now. – Another low note.

The question in the air was 'so what to do now', but they didn't know to address it. Lauren rubbed her eyes.

Oh, man, that got _dark_. – She widened her eyes comically at the last word and they laughed. – We need some coffee. To wake us up. – She said, slapping his knee and getting to her feet.

Lauren was at the counter, making coffee when he decided he didn't want to put off what he came to say any longer.

He walked up behind her and stood very close. He put his hands on her sides and rested his chin on her shoulder. - Hey, look. - He began quietly. - What I wanted to say yesterday… - She turned around and was about to say something. - No, let me finish. I wanted to say I already knew all this. Everything you told me about yourself. I know. Everybody knows you are so much more than our Quality Assurance person. – He said as he ran his hand along her hair, tucked it behind her ear, played with some streaks, his eyes following the movements his hands made. - Maybe I didn't know the specifics, but what I wanted to say was that you could go to New York and make any of that happen. All of it. I bet my life on it. – He finally looked her in the eyes. - But I understand that after a shock like yesterday, the branch just closing out of nowhere, you might want some job security. Scranton really isn't bad at all. You could have fun there. – He put his hands at his sides and added meaningfully. - We could have fun there.

She was too wise and rational to jump at that and try to make it some hugely significant moment. Instead, she remained quiet, looking at him with gratitude for the kind words he'd said and gave him space to continue talking if he wanted.

He waited for a response, but with none coming, he took a small step closer, testing how she felt about his physical proximity. Her eyes flickered to his lips and back to his eyes.

They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed skillfully, like two informed adults, knowing exactly what they were about to do.

Jim spent the night at her place.


	10. The Merger

The last day at the office was a little bittersweet. The people who were given severances and some who decided not to make the move to Scranton were already gone and the few who were getting the paperwork done were currently there.

Andy had made really inappropriate over the top hats for everyone, with little tombstones saying 'RIP Stamford' and most of them were lying in box at the moment, although he was still sporting his. He had decide to drill Jim about Michael, their new boss and, to his chagrin, Jim was not playing along.

* * *

The plan was to travel there in the afternoon, get settled in and have the first day at work in Scranton the following morning. Since Hannah and Lauren were renting apartments in the same complex, they decided to travel together. Lauren would have liked for Jim to go along in her car and for them to have a little road trip, but there was nowhere near enough room for all their luggage.

Hannah left early to give her keys to her now former landlord and Lauren was picking her up later. Jim was getting ready to head out.

So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning at work. – He shrugged.

Yeah. – She walked over from behind her desk to say bye. She really wanted to grab him and go for it, but they had tried to keep it low key around the office since the news of the branch closing and their hooking up.

Hey, uh, can you come into the kitchen with me real quick? – He asked.

Why? – She instinctively took the hand he offered and followed him out of the office.

I need you to reach a high shelf for me. – He replied and she laughed.

Once in the kitchen, he pressed her up against the counter and opened a cupboard that was just in the right position to shield them from the cameras. They kissed and laughed for a little while, but then it was really time to go. They walked out of the office holding hands and he kissed the back of her hand before letting her go, she going to her car and he getting his bike.

* * *

The ride over was pleasant, she and Hannah were catching up; Lauren was telling her about her and Jim; Hannah was talking about some ideas she had for art projects; they sang along to bad radio. Before heading to their apartments, they went into a nearby restaurant and immediately got hit on.

When she arrived to what would henceforth be her home, Lauren unpacked the essentials: clothes and makeup for tomorrow, some of her favorite books and her laptop. She went grocery shopping, reread some of her favorite underlined passages from two books and was lying on her bed, listening to a classic rock playlist.

Her phone rang and it was Jim. They checked in, he offered to take her to work tomorrow, but she already knew the way, she had made a detour on her way in to check out the building.

God, you think of everything. – Jim exclaimed on the other end.

Yeah, I suppose. – She smiled.

Listen, after work, we're having dinner and I'm coming over to see your apartment. - He said in a tone signaling it was non negotiable.

Deal. See you tomorrow.

Mwah! – He sent a kiss from the other end and hung up.

Lauren was tuckered out after the whole day and fell asleep pretty early.

* * *

She felt right as rain tomorrow. Hannah was a little late getting ready, as was her wont, and when they arrived, there were already cars in the parking lot.

Hannah came in and said hello to cute receptionist. – Hi, I'm Pam. – She replied.

I love your sweater. – Hannah said.

Oh, thanks, my mom made it for me. – She said sweetly. The artsy fartsies were getting along right off the bat.

Really? That's so cool, I'd always wanted to learn how to knit… - Hannah didn't get a chance to finish and a man was joining them.

Welcome, welcome, welcome! – He said cheerfully, glancing at the camera before doing a bit. – Take me to your leader. – He said in a monotonous robot voice. – Oh, wait. I am your leader.

He clearly thought he was being funny and Hannah didn't know how to react. – Wait, are you a robot or a Martian? – Lauren asked.

Ahh. – He exhaled as if she had posed some deep question. – I am actually your boss, Michael Scott.

Shit. She thought he was some poor soul sent over to greet them as they arrived. She probably wouldn't have started their professional relationship by questioning his comedy. She was remembering the stories Jim had told her about Michael and she was at least confident he wouldn't hold a grudge.

Welcome. Wow, you are very attractive. I should make you my personal assistant. Make you take down some dictations. – He said half jokingly half suggestively.

She really didn't have an appropriate answer for this and hoped the man approaching them would help. But his giant baby face gave him away immediately, it was Dwight.

Michael, as your number two, whatever dictation you have needs taking down is my jurisdiction. – He glared at Lauren territorially. The two men argued a little and Lauren seized the opportunity to grab Hannah and get out of there. They told Pam what their positions were and she directed them to their desks. Hannah would go in the annex with Tony, who had arrived just minutes before them and Lauren's desk was with a white haired older man and a red headed woman, who both worked in Quality Assurance. The man seemed disinterested and the woman was looking at her like she was going to consume her soul. Every now and then she would nod to herself, like she was setting a plan in motion.

Lauren's TH:

Oh, God, is this my future? Meredith? We look like some twisted before and after, if I became an alcoholic and got burned in a house fire after I didn't put out a cigarette.

* * *

Jim arrived with Martin and Michael made a big deal about it, pretending to toss him out. Jim tried a joke where he was acting he'd never see Pam before, but she ran from behind her desk and threw her arms around him, not playing along. He moved to take his old seat, but Ryan was now sitting there and, after a long awkward stand off, Jim took the other empty seat at the group of desks. Lauren caught Ryan looking contentedly at the camera. "Immature. Selfish. Big eyes" – she made a mental note, not knowing his name yet.

* * *

As she made her way over to some filing cabinets, looking for a folder she needed, she went past Alice, who was pumping milk for her kid. Angela turned up her nose disapprovingly while Creed was just sitting next to her, happy as a clam, watching.

She grabbed Hannah and told her and they did a joint talking head.

Wow. Just wow. – Lauren stared ahead, while Hannah shook her head. – We at least pussyfoot around any news guys for a couple of days.

Not here. – Hannah interjected, looking scared at what else might happen today. And after that.

I'm sussing out the situation and I'm already done with Creed and Big Eyes. That was fast. – Lauren added as they were leaving.

* * *

Michael announced there was a meeting/welcome breakfast in the conference room. The Scranton people were all over that, while the Stamford people reluctantly dragged their heels in. with the exception of Andy, who was doing his famed personality mirroring/ass kissing. Pam squeezed past Lauren and sat next to Jim. Lauren sat behind them and Hannah joined.

What is that about, doesn't she know you're his girlfriend? – Hannah asked, surprised at Pam's behavior.

No way. And don't you tell anyone either. I don't wanna start work here as _Jim's girlfriend._ – Lauren explained.

Yeah, better to lead off your usual sexy and bitchy. – She nudged.

Besides – Lauren chuckled – they're friends. He's one of theirs. Let 'em hang out. – She announced her philosophy. With a _if you say so_ look to the camera, Hannah redirected her attention to the meeting.

Michael was announcing a very special training video and Jim surreptitiously reached his hand out and squeezed Lauren's knee to signal this was going to be good. Pam saw and shifted a little uncomfortably.

* * *

After the trainwreck that was _Lazy Scranton_ , they dispersed and Jim went into the break room. Seeing him buy water instead of his usual grape soda, Pam struck up a conversation about it.

Yeah, I'm trying to move away from that. Getting into more of a bottled water phase. – He smiled, thinking back to wolf eyes Joe and his resolution not be outdone by this mythical man.

You've changed so much. – Pam joked.

Well, I'm evolving, Pam. – Jim said in a meaningful way. After a pause, Pam asked to get together after work if he's done moving in.

Oh, tonight actually, no, I'm still getting settled in. – Jim lied, having made plans with Lauren already.

Yeah, I mean, whenever. – Pam tried to sound casual and just then, Michael came in and made a big deal about interrupting them, shooting meaningful looks all across the room and making it horrifically awkward.

* * *

Michael later forced everyone to go into the conference room again and do what was supposed to be a team building exercise.

First he tried to make pun about _Night at the Roxbury_. The music didn't come in and Andy, obsequious as ever, jumped in and sang for Michael. The pair proceeded to hump an unamused Tony.

Later', all the Stamford people, apart from Tony, were made to sit on chairs which were perched on desks along the wall. Michael announced that this was because both branches were equal, to which Hannah replied that they should then be level with each other. Michael obviously didn't consider this and instead, tried to get Tony to get up there. After Tony refused, he and Dwight essentially manhandled him and tried to hoist him up. Feeling assaulted, physically as well as emotionally, Tony announced he couldn't work here and quit.

Comments were made from both sides, prominently Alice complaining about the work environment and Angela basically calling her a slut for pumping milk. At the last minute, all of Michael's frustrations about not being able to bring everyone together and be the popular boss he longed to be came out and he acrimoniously fired Tony. Stanley, not one to suffer fools, was one of the first out the door, saying they didn't need to get along, just work together.

* * *

Shouldn't you do something? As his number two? – Lauren whispered to Jim when he came by her desk, soon after the exercise.

Shh, no, nobody knows about that. At this point, I think I'd rather if they revoked the decision. – He admitted, seeing that the Scranton people were no less insufferable than he remembered.

What? Why, so that you can go back to being bossed around by baby head Dwight? – Lauren asked and Jim snorted quite loudly, caught off guard by her nickname.

Michael came running in; yelling about the guys from Vance refrigeration had "punked them good", letting the air out of their tires. Lauren, like most other people, didn't need to go outside to know it was really Michael and that these wacky cartoonish misadventures were not something that happened around the office.

Though it was highly unlikely, Michael found that people's spirits could go even further down than after the botched exercise.

* * *

After the tony debacle and the supposed punking, Jan called a meeting with Michael, Dwight, Jim and Andy to announce Jim's new position. It was during that meeting that the two branches finally came together and seemed to exchange cordially.

Lauren, however, ducked out early to make her apartment presentable and make dinner for tonight. She hugged Hannah goodbye and waved t the rest.

Bow chicka wow wow. – Hannah sung as Lauren skipped happily out of the office. They exchanged winks and the cameras searched Pam's face.

* * *

Jim stayed late and was just done checking in with Lauren, telling her he'd be right there when he saw Pam walking through the parking lot.

Hey, I thought you had already left.

No, I just had some other stuff I had to do. What's up? - She answered casually.

Nothing, I just feel bad, I feel like things were a little weird today or something. - Jim said honestly.

What do you mean?

I just think I should tell you I sort of started seeing someone. - He said, not sure how to phrase it or how much to reveal.

Oh. That's totally cool. You can do whatever you want. - Pam went to for a casual tone, but it didn't come out that way.

Ok. Good. - Jim said, thinking it was weird she would announce that. _Of course_ he could what he wanted, she was the one who turned him down.

We're friends. We'll always be friends. - She concluded.

Right. - He could barely stop himself from rolling his eyes. That was a phrase he was beginning to really hate. _My friend._

It's good to have you back. - She said as she was walking away.

Good to be back. - He said with no real conviction, getting in his car, eager to get to Lauren's.


	11. Fun and Games

Lauren's TH:

So word got out about Martin's stint in prison. Mousy Pam was impressed with the fact they could take art classes, Big Eye Ryan positively drooled at the thought of big time business professors visiting the facility and the rest just honestly liked the idea of getting to go out for some fresh air. When I first found out, Martin and I had long talks about the merits of correctional facilities, the possibility of true rehabilitation and the ethical repercussions of the death penalty. - She paused and gave the camera a meaningful look. – The people here wanna know what he ate inside. – She looked down and sighed.

Michael overheard people romanticizing prison and liking the idea of it better than working here and made everybody go to the conference room and put on a ridiculous show, playing an ex convict. Pam, Jim and Dwight goaded him on, while Andy was so far up his ass only his feet dangled outside. Lauren would have jumped in and had a few laughs with Jim, but the overall ignorance and offensiveness stifled her enthusiasm.

Before they knew it, Michael lost it and locked them all inside "since they think prison is so great". They protested for a while, tried to make plans to get out and eventually resigned to having to wait until Michael got a hold of his temper. Again, Pam had grabbed the seat next to Jim and they were reviewing what just happened. Lauren and Hannah chatted with Martin, trying to alleviate the awkwardness of the situation. Things got quieter later, with people occasionally standing up and announcing this was ridiculous and checking through the window for a sign of Michael.

Lauren was examining a pen in her hand, absentmindedly humming _Lovefool._ The cameras zoomed in on Jim smiling at this. He got up, crossed the room to her and, no seat available near her, stood by her side, place his hand on neck and rubbed it gently in support. She enjoyed this for a few moments, but then tapped him on the forearm to signal he should stop.

After Michael let them out, she was free to do a TH.

* * *

Lauren's TH:

No, we haven't told anyone we're dating. Jim suggested we talked to Toby, but I was staunchly against it. It's always awkward when there's an office romance. So far, it's only mousy Pam who's constantly ogling us. She was his best friend before they left, I guess it makes sense. Still, it's an uncomfortable thing to have happen to you constantly. Anyway, I'm new around here, I don't wanna be just his girlfriend. So yeah, hush hush.

* * *

Lauren had to make copies of some reports and, on her way to the copier, she didn't look up to see if it was being used. She bumped into Jim slightly.

Sorry. – She glanced up quickly and continued to sort through the pages she needed copied, playing with the ends of her hair as she waited. A few moments passed and she noticed he wasn't moving. She looked back at him to find him leaning on one hand against the copier and looking her up and down. - Almost done? – She said in a tone reminding him to be professional. All the while, the cameras were positioning around them to get an angle of Pam watching them intently.

Oh, it'll be a minute. – He answered, implying he didn't want to be rushed away.

She pursed her lips spitefully, trying to suppress a smile, but her face quivered dangerously. He made two more copies of something she suspected he didn't need and leaned closer. – All yours.

* * *

At the end of the day, Martin told Lauren, Hannah and Andy he was quitting. They all decided to go out to dinner and say goodbye to him. Jim also joined them.

* * *

Next week, as Lauren and Jim were coming in together, having spent the past several nights at his place, they found Dwight examining something on the floor. He concluded it was bird droppings and set out to find the culprit. As he was looking into the air vent, a bat came flying out, freaking everybody out. Mousy Pam was cowering by the coat rack, Her Bitchiness, Mother Superior Angela stopped, dropped and rolled and the rest just kind of scattered. Jim tried to hug Lauren and lead her out of the room, but she was unperturbed, stating it was just a bat. While Dwight was trying to assume control of the situation and chased the bat into the conference room, Jim and Lauren stood at the other end of the room, by his desk and then her eyes lit up with mischief. She grabbed his neck and pulled him down to whisper something into his ear. As he listened, his smiled burned at 500 kW.

Yes, you're a genius! – He grabbed her shoulders and gave her an enthusiastic forceful peck on the lips. She quickly turned to see if anyone was watching and was pretty sure no one saw it. Then she cracked a smile.

* * *

As Dwight was returning, Jim rubbed the back of his neck, muttering to himself. – That's weird.

What is? – Dwight asked, looking stern.

I swear I felt the bat bite me, but there are no marks. – Jim answered and Dwight's face turned ashen.

* * *

Strategically, throughout the day, Lauren suggested and acted out suspect vampiric scenarios with him. First, pretending Jim felt her cold garlic bread as white hot. Then, giving him aspirin for his headache caused by the garish glare coming off of Angela's crucifix. Later, she suggested he make subtle comments about how unbearably bright the sunlight is and how cold he feels. He also rubbed his teeth, pretending they were sharper.

* * *

Wow, you look kinda pale. Like, really pale. Are you alright? – Lauren started the last scenario of the day as they were leaving. Dwight was still at his desk, pretending he wasn't paying attention to the pair.

Ugh, I guess. – Jim answered, mock exhausted. – I feel so.. weak. And hungry. I had a big lunch, but it did nothing to quench my thirst. I mean, hunger. – He corrected himself and looked around as suspiciously as he could.

Lauren shrugged innocently. – I'm sure you'll feel better after you sleep tonight.

Oh… - Jim exhaled, scheming. – I will not be sleeping tonight. The night is too beautiful. I think I will roam the streets till I… feel better. – He concluded with a meaningful look to the camera. He turned back to Lauren and put his hand around her neck, running his thumb over her jugular. – That's a lovely…scarf you have there. - Dwight looked ready to pounce on him.

Thanks. – Lauren replied.

Want me to walk you to your car? – Jim offered and Lauren accepted. He put a hand on her back and turned halfway to Dwight as they were leaving. – Goodbye, Dwight.

Jim had his coat over his head, shielding himself from the light and as he closed Lauren's car door, he looked back up to Michael's office to see if Dwight was keeping an eye on him. He broke eye contact as soon as it was established and told Lauren he was still watching them, barely able to keep himself from laughing.

* * *

A few weeks later

Jim's TH:

So Andy is asking me for advice on how to date the women around the office, namely Kelly, Angela and Pam. He's currently fixated on Pam and I happen to know what she likes. More importantly, I know what she hates. – He smiled at the camera, plotting.

He recommended Frisbee competitions (which Andy incidentally loves), hunting, ads for Six Flags and Pig Latin.

So Andy suggested the first date from hell for Pam, when she realized what Jim had done.

* * *

Later, Andy was back at Jim's desk, getting more tips. Lauren needed Andy's signature and was coming over when she heard him sing a high pitched sexually suggestive song into Jim's face.

Hey. – Jim greeted her.

I'm gonna go get the banjo out of my car. – Andy told him and was out the door.

 _What_ is going on? – Lauren asked, smelling a prank.

I'm messing with Andy. I'm sending him to all the women in the office with, just, terrible advice on how to date them.

I love it. – She laughed. – Especially knowing I'm safe. Is that mean? Who cares? So, who's the target? I want in.

Right now, it's Pam. But you know what – he quickly tried to steer her away from that – let's give her a break. Why don't we find someone else?

He suggested Kelly and told her to basically tell Andy the perfect she would like to go on: talking about philosophy, history, civil liberties, metaphysics, going to museums, running track, taking up a kickboxing class. Kelly would hurl in his face.

* * *

After Andy finished his serenade, he looked at Pam, waiting for a reaction. Before she was forced to make up something kind to say, Lauren took pity and swooped in.

Hey, Pam, could you help me in the kitchen? The coffee machine is giving me hell. – Lauren asked and Pam was all too pleased to say yes.

Thank you for getting me out of that. – She said once Andy was out of earshot. Pam was trying to be polite and not say how much she loathed every single thing he had done today.

It's alright. I know what Jim did. – She leaned in, speaking more quietly.

You do? – Pam looked relieved, but not thrilled about Lauren being in on what she thought was her and Jim's joke.

Yeah, he's given Andy terrible advice about all the women around the office and he's currently working on you. – She explained and tried to comfort Pam. – Hopefully, he'll move along soon.

Has he done it to you? – Pam asked.

No, Andy knows that… - Lauren was about to say Andy knew about Jim and her dating, but she checked herself on time. – That he, uh, isn't my type.

Oh? And, um, what's your type? – Pam asked, trying to sound cheerful and friendly.

Hmm… - Lauren searched for a type different than Jim. – UFC fighters. – She answered, technically not lying.

I'm sorry, what? – Pam asked, genuinely not getting what she meant.

You know those big guys that fight in rings? Or like, that fake wrestling? – Pam nodded. – Something along those lines.

Oh. – Pam understood. – Wow. – She then exclaimed, picturing a guy like that. – Are there many guys like that in Stamford? I don't think I've seen any around Scranton.

Here and there. – Lauren answered. – Some of the guys in the warehouse are kinda reminiscent of them. They're big. They have actual strength. That no nonsense attitude. Actually, some of the women in the warehouse also fit that description. – She noted and both she and Pam laughed.

* * *

The day went on and Andy kept doing things that Jim and now also Lauren knew drove her crazy. It was sort of fun, but seeing Pam actually exasperated at one point made Lauren sympathize with her.

Hey, any calls from New York about that new batch? – Lauren asked Pam as she went past Jim, trying not to arouse suspicion. Before Pam could say no, she winked at her.

Er, yes, someone sent a,uh… this over. – She held up some random piece of paper.

Oh, good, let me see. – Lauren leaned over the counter. – Listen, you wanna get his ass back? – She offered.

Pam was stunned for a moment, but nodded enthusiastically. – Ok, so when Andy inevitably asks you out, he'll probably suggest the weekend. Say you feel bad cause you heard Jim had tickets to some thing, but he hasn't reconnected with any of his friends and had no one to go with. Then you can tell him a bunch of stuff Jim supposedly loves to do and tell him to take him out and make him feel better.

Oh, my god, that is great! – Pam smiled brightly at her. She really was cute as a button.

If you need any ideas, I can.. – Lauren started, psyched about the idea, but Pam interrupted, just as enthusiastic as her.

Oh, no, I already have a bunch! – She said, eyes darting around excitedly. Lauren's face fell a little at the thought of, yeah, she's known him for years. Of course she would know all about the stuff he likes and hates.

* * *

Hey, Big Tuna. – Andy came back from talking to Pam, crestfallen.

How did it go with Pam? – Jim asked, although the answer was obvious.

Didn't get a great vibe from her. Listen, do you have anything fun going on this Saturday? – He asked and Jim was mortified. Lauren didn't suggest this weekend for no reason. Jim was getting together with his brothers and they had a big group planning to go to a basketball game, but something came up last minute and he couldn't go. Lauren was the only one who knew.

Umm, nope. – Jim answered, terrified Andy might suggest hanging out. – I'm just gonna be at home, watch a movie… - He wanted to say with Lauren, but unsure of who was listening, he opted for - …by myself.

Mm, no, you're not. You're coming out, my friend. – I am? – Yes. A little birdie told me you could use a night out. So I was thinking we go out to that bar in the Ho Joe's you like, knock back some white Russians and hard cider, get some take out from that German place and check out some Chris Tucker movies. Sound perfect or what? - Andy concluded, enthusiastic.

Yeah. That sounds perfect. – Jim said, not convincing anybody.

Hey, Tuna, what time is it? – Andy asked. Jim didn't get a chance to finish saying he didn't know before Andy cut in – Rush Hour! Sweet! – He exclaimed to himself and went back to his desk.

Good job, Beasly. – Jim muttered as she went past him back to reception.

Avehay unfay. – Pam replied.

You are so going down. – He threatened. Pam sat down and was still smiling when she looked over at Lauren, wanting to share the moment with her. Jim had dialed her extension and they were on the phone. – And you. - Lauren laughed on the other end. – Just wait till tonight.

Oh, yeah? – Lauren teased.

 _Oh, yeah_. Rose petals on the bed, engagement ring in champagne glass, Guns'n'Roses on the PA, fishticks and a jersey that says _Harvard_ even though I never went to Harvard.

Oh, gag me with a spoon. – Lauren rolled her eyes at all the stuff Jim knew she hated. She hung up and saw Pam's eyes searching for hers. She smiled, a little less brightly than before, and gave her a thumbs up, which Lauren returned.


	12. Christmas

Christmas in Scranton rolled around. Everybody was looking forward to the few days off. Lauren and Hannah made plans to go to Stamford and visit some family and friends. Lauren and Jim had talked about what to do, seeing as how they'd been dating a few months now. She didn't really want to meet his family, that felt like putting pressure on the relationship. Plus, she assumed he was just being his usual gentlemanly self in offering. No one really wanted to meet their significant other's family or have their crazy family meet them and embarrass them in the process. She jokingly told him that meeting her family was out of the question.

Alright, whatever you want. But why though? – He asked.

I dunno, I don't feel like it does anything for the relationship. Besides, I made that mistake once and they're still hoping I'll marry that guy. - She rolled her eyes.

So there is one guy who got to meet them? Wow. – He raised his eyebrows.

What?

I mean, I feel like things are pretty great with us. How awesome did this guy have to be to meet your folks? - He tried to casual, but failed.

He was a sneak and just showed up at my birthday party with a bunch of flowers and charmed the pants off of everybody. - Lauren answered like it was no big deal.

I could do that. – He noted. She shot him a look. – I won't, though.

I'll be back the next day and we'll hang. – She untucked his shirt from his pants and kissed his neck.

You're distracting me from this conversation. – She felt him shiver as his body reacted to her. – Is the guy beefy Joe? - He still managed to ask.

Of course, he's the only clinically insane person I've dated. – She answered as she continued what she was doing.

Are you kidding me? - Jim pulled back. - I thought you said it wasn't serious between you guys?

It wasn't. He. Was. Insane. – She kissed his cheek, his chin and his lips as she pronounced the sentence. Jim still looked unconvinced, but was too turned on to argue much. – Look, you're gonna have to accept that we dated at some point and now we're friends. I don't give you the third degree about the people you dated.

Maybe it's time we made some changes. Or you made some changes. And did what I asked every once in a while.

Lauren laughed. - I wouldn't hold my breath on that.

* * *

Lauren and Hannah's TH:

So far Michael was ecstatic about Christmas, but I'm pretty sure his girlfriend dumped him. From what I could tell, she's not mentally ill, so I dunno what she was doing with him in the first place. – Lauren started the run down. – But then Jim told me he photoshopped himself into a family photo of theirs. Ho-ly _beep_. I would not have even stopped by the office. I'd be getting myself a restraining order.

The toy drive? – Hannah repeated a question she was asked. – Let's see. I think Meredith tried to leave a couple of those minibar whiskey bottles. You know, for the kids.

Oh, Creed just straight up took a toy _out_ of the box. - Lauren added.

What?!

Yeah. He sits opposite me. All he did today was examine it, shove it under his desk and check the obituaries. And then he laughed.

And what is up with Pam? She went into one of those teleportation devices from _The Fly_ and got fused with a Christmas tree? You see those earrings? - Hannah asked Lauren. - And the holly hairclip? I mean, I was gonna wear my antique Christmas balls on my ears, but I'm glad I didn't – she'd think we were in competition. – Hannah laughed.

Come on. – Lauren nudged her.

What? Are you seriously gonna defend that?

Lauren thought for a second. It was too campy for her taste. – I'm just saying, your comments make it seems like my tinsel boa is out of the question. - She turned up her nose, mock offended.

* * *

While they were doing their TH, Pam called Jim over.

I need to give you your Christmas gift now because… - She explained. - Um, well, I'll just tell you.

What? – Jim smiled his crooked smile.

In the past few months, I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA. – She said and handed him a red folder with C _lassified_ written on it.

Are you serious? – Jim was truly shocked at the thoughtfulness and dedication.

They're considering him for a top secret mission. There's an application here and this is where I made him list every secret he promised he'd never ever tell.

Jim read one, just as a sorbet. – Last year my boss, Michael Scott, took a day off because he said he had pneumonia, but really he was leaving early to go to magic camp. Wow.

So here's the gift. You get to decide what his top secret mission is. - She told him, pleased with herself. - Sorry I didn't wrap it.

Jim considered his options for a second, but then replied. - You know what? I really don't think I should be doing this stuff anymore, though. Just because of the promotion, feels a little bit like, uh..- He trailed off.

No, I get it. of course. Ok. – She extended her hand to take the folder back.

Jim's TH:

I feel like there's a chance for me to start over. And if I fall back into the same kind of things I used to do… what am I doing? - He asked the camera and his his wet from smiling to actually thoughtful.

* * *

Michael announced Christmas was cancelled. After some ridiculous questions and protests, he conceded they could still have an office party _and_ let the people they invited come.

* * *

Although they both agreed it was an antiquated tradition that women should be planning the party (though with Her Bitchiness, Mother Superior Angela at the helm, what else would you expect), Lauren and Hannah allowed themselves to be roped into a Party Planning Committee meeting. They weren't in the mood for work anyway.

We had some ideas for the Stamford people to feel more at home. – Lauren announced.

Each year we have a Christmas raffle. – Hannah continued.

It would never work here. – Angela said over Pam and Phyllis, who seemed to like the idea.

Ok. – Lauren tried to remain composed. – Another idea was karaoke.

No. – Angela replied simply, as if hers was the only opinion that mattered.

A Christmas drinking game. – Hannah decided to ignore her and spoke to the rest of the room.

Yes! – Punch Drunk Meredith jumped in immediately. Lauren and Hannah smiled at her while Angela cut in with her disapproval.

God help you! – She exclaimed. – These are all terrible ideas. And none of them are on the theme of the _Nutcracker Christmas._ – Lauren and Hannah held in a nutcracker pun. – I think you two should leave. – Angela concluded like the final decision was hers to make.

You're kidding? – Lauren's smile disappeared and she visibly bristled.

You tried this out. And it's clearly not for you. It's time to go. – Angela folded her arms.

The pair looked around the room. Mousy Pam looked down, White Trash Meredith didn't seem to hear anything after "drinking game", Chipmunk Kelly couldn't argue with Her Bitchiness and Phyllis the Personality barely existed in the room. Lauren and Hannah left without another word.

* * *

Pam's TH:

I feel like I've been cold to Lauren and there's no real reason for it. I mean, it's not like she's ever done anything to me, so… I think I probably shouldn't be cold to her.

Pam made her way over to Lauren's desk. This didn't escape Jim's attention.

Hey, Lauren. Sorry about that meeting today, that was really crazy.

Yeah, right? I'm so glad you said that. I don't know how those meeting usually go, but _damn_.

Um, usually like that. - Pam confirmed Lauren's suspicions.

Does anyone ever stand up to Angela or…?

I think one of her cats did once. She came in scratches all over her face. - Pam cracked up a little remembering this.

I'm not gonna lie, there's apart of me that is made happy by that anecdote.- lauren announced, making a mental note of sharing this info with Hannah.

I really liked Hannah's karaoke idea, that could really be fun. - Pam continued.

Oh, yeah, let's go find her, I have an idea. - Lauren was already staging a coup in her head, this was the last straw.

* * *

Angela was hanging a notice about the party when she saw a colorful notice for another party put up by Hannah, Laurena and Pam.

There's no such thing as the _Committee to Plan Parties_. - She sulked.

There is now, we just started it. – Pam answered politely, but defiantly. Hannah was about to jump in an taunt Angela, but Lauren stopped her with a look. Pam seemed to enjoy standing up for herself and Lauren really enjoyed seeing another empowered female.

You can't just start a committee. You have to have funding. - Angela pressed on.

What's you funding? – Hannah asked, unable to contain herself.

200 dollars. – Angela answered.

What's ours again? – Pam asked Lauren.

Erm, 201 dollars.

Right. – She nodded.

Hey, _A Margarita Karaoke Christmas Party._ – Kelly read the sign. – That sounds like fun.

No. That is not party. - ANgela snapped. - There is only one party and it's hosted by the party _planning_ committee. It starts at 3 o'clock.

Then why are there two fliers? – Kevin asked, honestly not getting it. Bless him, Lauren thought. Their little argument was starting to draw a crowd.

Oh, I understand that this is confusing for everyone. – Lauren spoke to the little crowd gathered around them. – Let me explain. There's a party that starts at three – Right, Kevin signaled that he was following – and then, there's a _way_ more fun party that starts at 2:45.

Right, - Pam added – and if you're interested in the way more fun party, all the info can be found here. On our more brightly colored flier. – She pointed it out. Angela promptly ripped it off the wall and stormed off. Pam tried to keep her laughter in, but Hannah reached behind her and ripped Angela's flier off the wall as well and walked off. Pam and Lauren laughed and went back to work, feeling victorious.

Jim's TH:

Yeah. Looks like the Stamford people and the Scranton people are finally coming together. And that's what you want, right? – He asked, eyes widening in trepidation of what might happen should Pam and Lauren get too close.

* * *

Dwight went over to reception, Angela in tow, where Hannah, Lauren and Pam were putting together their party.

I order you to cease and desist all party planning immediately. - He said authoritatively.

You can't do that. – Hannah said disinterestedly, not looking up to his angry baby head.

As ranking number three in this office, I am ordering you… - Dwight continued.

Errrr. – Andy cut in. – I'm number three.

You're number four. - Dwight snapped.

No, you're number four. - Andy continued.

You must turn over to me all Christmas decorations and party paraphernalia immediately. - Dwight ignored Andy. - They will be returned to you January 4th.

Ok, I think I can help you here. – Jim walked over, slightly reluctant to get involved. – As ranking number two, I am starting the Committee to determine the validity of the two committees. I am sole member. The committee will act on this now.

Ok, this is stupid. - Dwight rolled his eyes.

Can you please keep it down? I'm in session. - Jim stared him down. It was a turn on to see Jim act manly around the office as opposed to childish or too cool for school. - I've determined this committee is valid.

No, no, no, wait. - Dwight jumped in, unable to disrespect any kind of authority, even the obviously made up one. - Permission to join the validity committee?

Jim pondered for a moment. - Permission denied.

Damn it. – Angela stormed off and Dwight followed.

Aww, he probably won't be getting any tonight. – Lauren commented seeing Angela's face. Hannah laughed.

What? – Pam asked, surprised.

Isn't it obvious? Baby head and Mother Superior are boning. – Lauren answered without thinking. Only then did she realize she outed herself and Hannah as having unflattering nicknames for the idiots around the office.

Pam computed these things in her head and, letting go of the nicknames, asked – You think they're hooking up?

Oh, come on. – Hannah answered like it was obvious. – Lauren figured it out the fist week. She's got this infallible people reading device. – She took the opportunity to get in Pam's face and try to get a guilty reaction out of her. Sure enough, Pam swallowed and her eyes darted around nervously. Lauren was shaking her head at Hannah's comment and missed it.

* * *

Jim, Dwight, Ryan, come on, we're going to Asian _Hooters_. – Michael announced, leaving his office with Andy.

Ryan rattled off half a dozen excuses and Jim and Dwight were forced to go.

* * *

The girls were in the break room, getting some stuff for the party when a tall bearded warehouse guy came in and got schooled by Pam on how to wrap a present. He continued to ask random questions just to spend a bit more time with her. As Lauren came back into the room, he felt uncomfortable and left.

See, that's the UFC looking guy I was telling you about. Cute. – Lauren commented. – He likes you. – She added. Pam seemed shy about these things, so she let it go. There was still a bunch of setting up to do.

* * *

It was almost 2:45 and three girls came out to remind everybody that their party would be starting any minute. Angela tried to distract them with a bogus announcement about their paychecks and got permission to start her party early as well. People were reluctant to choose sides at first, but eventually filed in. naturally, there were soon way more people in the break room.

They couldn't find the power cord and Lauren and Hannah were sure Angela had hidden it. Lauren was about to go and "put the little bitch in an arm bar", but Pam, not really sure what that was, but pretty sure it was bad, stopped her. It turned out that Darryl could play the synthesizer and he went out to get it.

* * *

Eventually, the guys returned from _Benihana_ , with some way too young Asian waitresses. The parties were still held on two fronts, when Hannah had the idea to make Dwight win the raffle and infiltrate their party that way. They went over and gave him walkie talkie, which he adored. The girls used this opportunity to compliment Angela's food and suggest merging the parties. She pretended like she wasn't very into it, but agreed. She also gave them the power cord she had obviously purposely stashed behind a plant. Drunken karaoke ensued.

* * *

Kevin sang _You Oughta Know_ and got way too into it, but it broke the ice and everyone was on board by the end. Kelly serenaded Ryan, who was pounding margaritas, with _We Belong_ . Michael and Andy did a gross duet of _Your Body Is A Wonderland_ for their Asian dates. Surprisingly, Creed rocked it with _Spinnin' and Reelin'_ and everyone was dancing. Kelly and Ryan, forehead to forehead. Roy was being gentlemanly and danced with Phyllis. Jim tried to dance with Lauren, but, still not into disclosing they were dating, she grabbed Hannah and they danced a bit too close, catching most male eyes.

Jim, not in the mood to dance with anyone else, sat next to a crestfallen Michael.

That waitress was the one. - Michael sighed, his date gone.

No. she wasn't. - Jim answered directly.

How can you be sure?

Well, for starters, I've known you as a couple since the beginning of the relationship, which was approximately three hours ago…

You're making fun of me. - Michael pouted. He paused. - I guess I didn't know her very well, did I? - He paused again and smiled before he continued. - I marked her arm.

You what?

I put a mark on her arm. So I could tell them apart. - Jim's jaw dropped. - I know. I know. I can't believe I gave her my bike. Why do I feel like crap? - Michael asked honestly.

You just had a rebound. - Jim answered matter of factly.

I had a rebound. - Michael repeated, letting it sink in.

Which, don't get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction, but when it's over, you're left thinking about the girl you really like. The one that broke your heart. - Jim explained. They both fell quiet.

* * *

The party was approaching the end. Angela and Dwight were singing _Little Drummer Boy_. Pam and Roy exchanged presents. Lauren and Hannah were getting ready to take off a little early and get on the road to Stamford. Lauren was the designated driver. She opened one of Jim's drawers to get a piece of paper and leave him a note and found one of her Bertrand Russell books in there with a bookmark near the end. This reassured her of what she was going to do.

* * *

On his way out of the office, Jim stopped by reception.

Oh, you know what? – He waited till Dwight left. – Sorry, I forgot to tell you. I intercepted a transmission earlier and it seems that the CIA will need Dwight down at headquarters in Langley for training. And an ice cream social with the other agents. – Pam smiled and looked really overjoyed that he accepted the present she put so much thought into.

We should get him a bus ticket. To make his trip easier. - She turned to her computer.

Well, maybe the CIA can send a helicopter. – Jim suggested and Pam loved the idea.

* * *

When he got home, he read the note from Lauren.

"Dear Jim,  
In the spirit of making changes, you are welcome to meet my family any time. I don't expect you to come all the way to Stamford at Christmas, though, that's crazy. But if I would invite anyone back home, it would be you.  
Lauren"

He felt happy for breaking down one of Lauren's walls, but that was immediately followed by a pang of guilt. He made plans to absolutely go to Stamford the morning after Christmas and surprise her.


	13. Traveling Salesman

First off, a quick shout out and many thanks to FloraFaveXNara-Wire! It feels really good to know someone out there wants to know what happens next. Although I have the story halfway mapped out, I am open to suggestions and ideas as to where any of you would like to see it go.

I am currently torn between exploring Jim and Lauren's relationship more and rushing through the storyline of Season 3 and getting to the juicy stuff.

* * *

Christmas was fun. Both Lauren and Jim spent it with their respective families and saw some friends. The next day, early afternoon, there Lauren got a call.

Hey, you. – She picked up, seeing it was Jim.

Hi. What's up, having a good time? – He asked casually.

Yeah, we're getting ready to eat. My aunt and her family are coming over. - She answered. – How's things back in Scranton?

Er, I wouldn't know. – He answered, a smile audible in his tone.

What do you mean? – Just then, the doorbell rang and her father made his way over. – Oh, my god. – Lauren said to silence on the other end.

Jim hung up and extended a hand to her father. – Hello, Mr. Webber. I'm Jim Halpert. It's a pleasure to meet you.

It took a second for Lauren's dad to understand why this young man was here and why he was being kind of formal. Lauren had mentioned a Jim in passing. – Hello, young man. Come in. – He smiled cordially.

Lauren stepped to him briskly, in total shock. – What is going on?

Well, now that I had your consent, I wanted to come over and meet your family. – He told her, but loud enough for her dad to hear. He now tuned to the room, where her mother had also appeared, wiping her hands on an apron. – Hello, Mrs. Webber. I know I must be intruding, having just barged in, but I won't keep you for long. I have plans back in Scranton tonight. I just wanted to come over and introduce myself. – He then made his way over to Lauren's mom and shook her hand, placing his other hand over it as well, creating the shake/hug. Establishing intimacy. Nice, Lauren thought.

Her family, including her aunt, uncle and cousin, took to him and his easy going, yet respectful manner quickly. They had lunch and then played some games. Trivial Pursuit was followed by Monopoly and Jim found out that Lauren regularly lost at, since she always felt too bad building houses and hotels on her property. She said she had had an aversion to capitalism since a young age, but Jim suspected it was her soft heart. Jim announced he had to leave just as Lara suggested Scrabble, so that "Lauren would win". He was tempted to stay, having had a very good time, but his brothers and friends had already called twice.

* * *

The whole family was standing by the door, waving him goodbye and Lauren struggled a little to keep them inside, so that they could say goodbye in private.

I can't believe you came all the way out here just to… - She shrugged and the crossed her arms, trying to keep warm. – Wow.

I'm just glad you were okay with it. – He rubbed her arms up and down, remembering he hadn't had a chance to touch her much today, in front of her family. – You are okay with it, right?

I think I'm thrilled actually. – She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. They kissed and she giggled at his cold nose on her face.

What? – He asked, moving her hair away from her face.

I like kissing in the cold. – She was giddy. – If the vultures over there weren't staring, I'd go to town on you right now. – He raised an amused eyebrow. – The make out town, not the other town.

Language, Lauren. – Jim reprimanded. – It's Christmas. – He gave her another quick kiss, waved the family goodbye and was off to Scranton.

* * *

After the break, Michael was back with one beaded braid, trying to get everyone in the spirit of Jamaica. That had to wait, though, because today, they had to go make sales calls.

All the salesmen were gathered in the conference room, waiting for Dwight, who was seldom late. They split up into teams, Andy and Michael, Jim and Dwight, Stanley and Ryan, and Phyllis and Hannah.

Something's cooking up with Angela and Dwight. – Lauren told Hannah as the salesmen were getting ready to leave.

Yeah? Keep me posted. – She replied. Waiting for Phyllis to go back to her desk, she leaned over and whispered to Lauren. – I'm stuck with Miss Congeniality over there on the sales call.

Oh, my god. – Lauren snorted. – Keep me posted. – She gave her a quick hug and winked over to Jim, who winked back.

* * *

Angela came over to Pam, in an uncharacteristically good mood. Even stranger, she kindly asked her out to get some coffee. When they came back, Lauren was all over the scoop.

What is up with Angela? – She asked. It was a slow day and she needed to be distracted.

Um, I'm not sure. She's in a really good mood and that doesn't happen a lot. – Pam answered. She knew exactly what was up, but didn't want to prove Lauren right about her assumption she was dating Dwight.

You should get on that. – Lauren said pensively. – Who knows what we might dig up about her.

Yeah. – Pam said, not entirely convinced. – Plus, it's nice to have a friend around the office. – She seemed a little sad.

Hey, well… you and Jim are friends. – Lauren offered.

Yeah. Sure. – Pam put on a brave face. She didn't want to tell Lauren that it hasn't been quite the same since he came back.

And I mean… - Lauren motioned to between the two of them. – We could…get there. Better you than the rest of these guys, you know what I mean?

Pam smiled, but seemed a little offended at the way Lauren spoke about the others. Or about being compared to them. Pam also always kept herself at a comfortable distance from the rest of the office, whether she admitted it or not.

That came out wrong. I just mean… Stamford was completely different, we had a totally different dynamic back there. And now, it's only me, Hannah and Andy left. And Andy is slowly losing his mind, mark my words. It's such a heterogenic group here, it just feels like there's no cohesiveness. I guess I just don't feel like I've integrated. Here. At all. – Lauren heard herself say this out loud for the first time and got serious. She and Pam looked at each other for a beat and then Lauren was gone.

* * *

Creed's desk was empty, so Lauren sat there and went through some papers. Although it was a lonely day without Hannah and Jim, at least she could work in peace. However, the papers weren't adding up, it seems like Punch Drunk Meredith and Creed the Felon were about as good at their jobs as they appeared to be.

She got a call from Hannah, letting her know what Phyllis took her to a beauty salon and that she was now sporting a hideous hairdo and tranny makeup. This cheered her up a bit.

Meanwhile, Pam had received a call, letting her know that she had won a watercolor competition she had entered. She was over the Moon! Her instinct, of course, was to go tell Jim, but, since he wasn't around, she was stumped. Oscar would have been her second choice, but he still wasn't back from his three month paid leave. If she was honest, the best person to tell who was currently in the office was Lauren. Lauren was funny, she seemed like she could be kind when she wanted to and Pam was sure she would be supportive. But she just couldn't go up to her and tell her.

Instead, when Kevin came over to use the copier, she decided to share the news with him. He was interested in how much she had won and, when he heard she had won a hundred dollars, he confided he won four hundred betting. He never congratulated her; instead she was forced to congratulate him.

* * *

Later on, she and Angela chatted. She confided in her and Angela seemed happy for Pam. She proceeded to offer her a dominant male kitten, which Pam refused, partly because her building didn't allow pets and party because she simply didn't want one. Angela's attitude shifted immediately and she was back to her cold self. Pam, discouraged by this, turned to look at Lauren. She should just do what she should have done in the first place.

Hey, Lauren. – She leaned a little awkwardly against Creed's desk, which Lauren had commandeered for the day.

Hi. – Lauren smiled welcomingly. – It looks like sourpuss in boots is back, huh? – She asked.

Yeah. – Pam made a _yikes_ face. – She, uh, offered me "the dominant male" of her new litter of kittens. I had to turn in down.

Ouch. – Lauren exclaimed. – She has kittens? Do you think she'd give me one? I've been thinking about a pet.

I'm sure she'd have terms and many questions to ask, but, uh… maybe. Why not? – Pam answered. – Um, I… I won a watercolor contest today. – She said looking at the ground, with the inflection of a question rather than a statement.

You did? – Lauren asked. – Wow! Congratulations. – She quickly got up and gave her a bear hug. Pam was taken aback, but Lauren was a great hugger, she pulled her close and held her tight, genuine excitement leaping off her body. It felt good and Pam laughed heartily.

Yeah, I did. – She said as they let go. – I mean, it's not some huge competition…

No, hey. – Lauren stopped her immediately. – Don't downplay it. Something great happened, something that obviously makes you happy. Be proud. – She nudged her and Pam pepped up. – In fact… - Lauren said as she dialed Hannah. – We gotta share the good news!

Hello? – Hannah answered.

Can you talk? - Lauren asked.

Sure.

Lauren put her on loudspeaker. – Guess what, ladies? Our homegirl Pam here just won herself a watercolor contest! – Lauren announced excitedly.

What? Wow! Congratulations! – Phyllis and Hannah showered Pam with excitement and praise.

Thanks, thank you. That means a lot. – She told them, genuinely touched at her coworkers sharing her happiness.

Can we see it when we get back? – Hannah asked.

Uh, sure. – Pam was flattered, but a little nervous as well; she hadn't shown her stuff to almost anybody.

Great! We're on our way! See ya soon! – Hannah said and hung up.

* * *

Phyllis and Hannah were next to last to return to the office, the only ones missing still were Jim and Dwight. Pam had the image of the watercolor open in separate tab for when the girls returned.

Phyllis walked over smiling to see it as soon as they entered. Hannah walked behind her, silent and looking hard at Pam. Phyllis praised the image non discerningly, not knowing much about art. Hannah just nodded at the image and B-lined towards Lauren's desk.

She lead her into the ladies room, away from the cameras and whispered in case they were followed.

What's up, where's the fire? – Lauren asked, amused. It was hard to take the angry look in her eyes seriously when she looked like some weird Phyllis mini me.

Oh, nothing, Phyllis and I were just bonding today, getting the fucking make over from hell. Anywho, she says how she always knew she just had to get to know us better and we'd be swell little girls. – She answered in rushed quiet tones.

Yeah? – Lauren urged her on, thinking that was the whole reason she was so upset.

Yeah. And she says how she's happy that Jim seems to like you now cause he was "hung up on Pam for the longest time" and it looked like he'd never get over her. Now, I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like a small crush to me. – She finished.

There was a tense pause. - So you think he lied to me? – Lauren whispered back, looking straight ahead with eyes on fire.

I'm saying I don't trust him. And I certainly don't trust Pam, ogling and giggling and walking over to him 30 times a day. - Hannah spat.

Lauren just nodded, too angry to speak and they walked, looking half like they were at a funeral and half like they were going to strangle someone.

Lauren noticed Pam's eyes give her a grateful, happy look, but she looked ahead and sat back at her desk, which faced away from reception.

* * *

Jim and Dwight returned and Dwight was called into Michael's office to talk about the trip he took to New York to turn in a file Angela had forgotten to send out. Towards the end of the day, Dwight got up, gave a ridiculous, solemn speech and announced he was quitting.

* * *

As they were leaving for the day, Lauren was almost out the door and Jim was following close behind. They hadn't talked at all since he came back and he had a whole bunch of Dwight nonsense to share with her.

Hey, Jim. – Pam called out to him and, before she knew it, Lauren's fist were balled up, white at the knuckles.

Yeah?

I won an art contest today. – She chirped. The petty part of Lauren noted how elementary school competition had suddenly become an _art contest._

No way, wow! - His face stretched into a huge smile. - Alright, Pam, congratulation! - They high fived. - Which one was it? – He asked, delighted for Pam, he knew this was a passion of hers, but also not wanting to lose sight of Lauren, he was glancing back and forth. Pam had launched into an explanation, but saw he wanted to leave.

No, go on. This is big news. – Lauren could hardly choke the words out against the surge of adrenaline she felt. She stepped out and waited where she was out of ear shot, not trusting herself to hear the two talk and exchange pleasantries at the moment.

* * *

Later, when Jim saw she was paying no attention to his stories and didn't seem to be into spending time with him, she told him she had a lot of work and apartment stuff on her mind, which was technically true. That was one of the rare nights they'd spent apart.


	14. Tantrums, Part 1

Some days had passed and Lauren was still not back to her usual self. Today was especially bad.

Turns out Creed blew off a Quality Assurance meeting and stationery with Donald Duck railing on Pluto's ass was sent out. Hilarious, until you get sensitivity meetings, inspectors, Corporate and clients, both calling and berating you, suffer financial losses after recall and possible pay decreases… it was an awful day.

Dwight was gone and Andy was now taking over his place, most notably as Michael's wannabe bff. His forceful brand of friendship and famed personality mirroring were starting to cause a rift between him and Michael. Turns out, if you mirror an idiot to kiss his ass, you're still an idiot. And the first idiot may not like that. Meanwhile, Angela was crestfallen and nobody knew why. Well. Lauren and anybody who listened to her knew why. She didn't even put up a fight at the party planning committee when Michael made preposterous and offensive suggestions for Oscar's return party. The only glimmer of hope was that Oscar seemed to Lauren to be a sober person. Finally.

* * *

Andy was not helping matters. He had made an acapella version of _Rockin' Robin_ on his computer, sang all four parts himself and made it his ringtone. He was currently replaying it and waterboarding Jim. He drilled it into his head that they would now be a team and sang annoying acapella for half the day.

Hey. – He walked over to Lauren. – Andy is driving me insane. You gotta help me get him, you know him better than all of us.

As much as I would like to – Her tone didn't support what she was saying – I am swamped. And I don't mean that typical female _I've been running around all day_ drek. I literally have to go through years' worth of papers cause white trash over there and this future convict who is currently my superior have never done their job.

Hey, whoa. – He tried to get her to keep her voice down.

Ask mousy pants over there. – She waved her hand scornfully in the direction of reception, not looking up at anybody. Not having it.

Jim had never seen her like that before. Sure, she had an acerbic wit and didn't suffer fools gladly, but such anger. The disdain oozing off her every word. It was difficult to hear someone you loved talk that way. He could tell she was dealing with a lot of anger, but didn't know what exactly to do. He probably would have asked Hannah, bur she'd been treating him a lot more coldly in the past few days.

* * *

Eventually, his frustration and desire to get Andy back got the best of him and he managed to swipe his phone. He walked over to reception and, while asking for messages, left the phone on the counter. Pam was hip to his jive. She stashed it until he thought of a way to use it.

They later walked to the door of the break room together and Jim went in, while Pam filled a cup with water, keeping watch. He stood on the counter and threw Andy's phone in so that it slid in the air vet above the sales desks in the office. Stanley heard a bump, but you'd be hard pressed to find anybody who cared less in the office. He looked up and then back down as if nothing happened. Jim and Pam crossed through the office, chatting and smiling conspiratorially.

Lauren took pride in not misdirecting anger and was always one to point out to her friends that, if their partner cheated on them, there was far less point in getting mad at the new person, but that they should hold the affair against the partner. Sure enough, seeing Jim stand a bit too close to her and put his hand on her back, she felt livid. Like she could quite happily watch him burn alive and bathe in his agonized screams. However, a very potent part of her wanted to get mousy little Pam into a ring, beat her around and choke the life out her until she begged to be unpinned. Lauren was brought back from this reverie, with a resting heart rate of 200, by the sound of a phone ringing.

* * *

Jim and Pam spent the rest of the day calling Andy's cell and, as he kept searching for it, he kept throwing bigger and bigger tantrums. At one point, he had a falling out with Michael once Michael had grown tired of him. Jim decided to add insult to injury and call again. Had Lauren not been as busy or angrily self-absorbed as she was, she would have told him this was likely to push Andy over the edge. However, there was some morbid satisfaction in letting him continue. In no time, Andy had a mother of a meltdown and punched a hole in the wall. Everyone, save Hannah and Lauren, were completely shocked at this behavior from him. Lauren, for once, sympathized with his uncontrollable frustrations. Dwight would now return. It was only a matter of how fast Michael could reach him.

* * *

Towards the end of the day, the ridiculous party for Oscar was held, complete with a big ole gay piñata which he was forced to smash. Tired of everyone else in the office and feeling like she should introduce herself, Lauren went over to Oscar. They had an amicable little chat and Lauren quite liked him, finishing the conversation with assuring him she wasn't some sad small town gossip. In fact, she was a huge fag-hag and was all about gay rights. As soon as she said it, she noticed him pulling away after the word _fag_ was used. Lauren didn't know, but that was the pebble that started the avalanche that led to him having this paid leave. Being used to young out-and-proud men, who were fun and uninhibited, it escaped Lauren for a moment that a middle-aged man who was in the closet up until recently may not be ready to re-appropriate heavy homophobic words. Damn it. She was off her game. The week was a total bust.

Lauren went to Stamford for the weekend. Hannah was the only one who knew and she told Jim after he couldn't reach Lauren himself. Unbeknownst to anybody, however, she had spent most of the weekend with Joe.

* * *

It was the beginning of a new work week in Scranton and Lauren was feeling overwhelmed and torn. The lease on her apartment was expiring this week and she had decided to move out. On the one hand, the place was relatively far from the office and, on the other, she got a bit bored of living alone. Or the idea of living alone, at least. Up until about 10 days or so, she and Jim spent most nights together, sometimes at her place, but mostly at his, as his building was closer to work. However, Lauren was currently distrustful and distant.

When she first came to Scranton and they started spending that much time together, Jim had half joked about how she should just move in with him when her lease was up. Of course, then, it was way too early to seriously consider this. But now, they had spent almost six months together and, while this was still not the optimal time to make such a big step, they at least got to know each other pretty well. Had they had the talk about possibly moving in two weeks ago, when they were basically living together anyway and Lauren was, she now knew, blissfully happy, she probably would have said yes. But now, the whole situation made her sick. If he asked, she couldn't wholeheartedly say yes. If he didn't, it would devastate her.

Hannah was in a somewhat similar predicament. She had been dating Danny, one of Jim's old friends, for about a month and half and things were going pretty well. He lived in the same building as Jim and he had told her that there was an apartment available there now. Some guy had moved out about a week ago. To Hannah, this felt like too much too soon. Rationally, she knew he wasn't asking her to move in, but there was some portent behind the question. She hadn't told him, but she wasn't looking for anything too serious. Her hope was to save up some money and try to move into the New York branch of Dunder-Mifflin, where she would have more options.

Hannah's main issue with the apartment in Jim's building wasn't whether or not she would move in – she knew the answer was no – but whether or not Jim would tell Lauren about it.

* * *

After work, Hannah, Lauren and Jim made plans to go to his place and get Lauren's stuff from there, so that she could finish packing. Lauren wanted Hannah there to help make it faster and also to avoid talking to Jim too much.

Hannah had taken the last of the boxes to the car and had to go up to say hi to Danny, she had promised. She was no less reluctant to go and tell him she didn't feel right moving in than Lauren was to be left alone with Jim.

So what's your game plan? What do you wanna do? – Jim asked.

I dunno, I'm still searching for apartments, weighing my options. – Lauren said distractedly, rubbing her eyes.

He couldn't take this distance between them, so he just hugged her and placed kisses along her shoulder and her neck.

What's wrong? I really don't know what to do or say, but I can see something is up. – He said in a pleading tone.

I don't know..what's wrong with me. – She said, not knowing how to phrase what she feeling. Jealousy, sure. But why exactly, she couldn't express. Because Phyllis noticed that a little boy couldn't hide his crush on his cute coworker. Because she was a red blooded woman who didn't enjoy seeing the man she loved run around with another woman. She had no evidence. She was too rational to simply argue female intuition or hearsay. If he wanted to lie, he could easily just lie and say she's blowing this out of proportion. Neither of them had hard evidence that the other one's story was unfounded. The argument would never end. Therefore, she wouldn't start it. Yet.

There's nothing wrong with you. Hey, why don't you spend the night? Or, seeing as how you just took all your stuff out of my apartment, why don't we go back to yours? We'll hang out, put you in a better mood, try to get to the bottom of this. – He was rocking her back and forth and his voice was reassuring. Since he was making sense and there was no immediate reason to turn him down, she said yes.

* * *

After some TLC, Lauren was in a far better mood tomorrow. When they were alone, it was very easy to forget the outside world and the possible problems they had. Being at work, however, brought it all into sharp focus.

Only a few days after the lewd watermark debacle, Darryl was hurt and people had to undergo safety training. Lauren was told that the office never made it a full year, which is the usual interval at which these were administered. There was always an accident and they had to go though it again.

Michael was not taking any of the training seriously, even though he was the cause of all of this. He'd kicked a ladder from under Darryl and he hurt his ankle pretty badly. Which is about the best case scenario for such a sociopathic action, Lauren thought. Darryl was honestly concerned for his workers, while Lauren was starting to move from simply not respecting Michael to considering him a threat to her and all the office workers.

* * *

During the safety training, Kevin and Jim started a bet. Apparently, Kevin was jonesing for a rush. Because Michael was being impossible and undermining Darryl, they turned things over to Toby, who put most people to sleep. By the end, the warehouse guys got into a fight with Michael and the training had concluded. No less successfully, Lauren was appalled to hear, than any other time.

* * *

The betting had continued and it served to lift the mood in the office a little. Lauren, Hannah, Kevin, Oscar and Jim were at reception, betting on how many jellybeans were in the container.

Ten. – Kevin said.

Really, ten? – Oscar repeated. - That's your guess? You're a professional accountant.

There's like ten green ones. – Jim added.

Forty two. – Oscar said as Hannah said – Forty five.

I'm gonna say fifty. – Jim threw in his bet.

Fifty one. – Lauren jumped in.

Oh, come on, don't be that person. That is lame. – Betting purists, Jim and Kevin protested.

It's a strategy! – Lauren justified.

It's called being smart. – Pam supported her.

Thank you. – Lauren said, vindicated. Pam smiled at her and Lauren moved the muscles of her face and pulled up the corners of her mouth, but in her head, she was jumping over the counter and slapping her with all she had.

They counted them and there were forty nine, making Jim the winner.

That is not fair. He has spent _hours_ up here, at reception, with you. – Kevin started passionately. - Hours. And. Hours! – He repeated and Jim got self-conscious. Hannah made no attempt to disguise her protest as she turned demonstratively to Lauren as he said this and gave her a "are you gonna tell me I'm wrong now" look. – No. Constantly. – Kevin continued as Jim tried to get him to stop. – Like, for years! - The tension had spread from Jim and Pam, to Lauren and Hannah, and even Oscar, who didn't necessarily understand what was going on. Everyone, basically, but Kevin, who would have gone on in perpetuity.

Lauren felt fed up and simply left. Hannah followed immediately and Jim soon after. Lauren explained that she was still apartment hunting with Hannah and they left because of that. Hannah's cold stare told Jim otherwise.

I think… - He started, not wanting to have this conversation in front of Hannah. – That this is because of what Kevin said. – He finished and waited. The girls were silent, but now that the wheels were in motion, there was no going back. After a pause which pretty much confirmed Jim's suspicions, he continued. – It seems to me like people around the office are onto us. That we're dating. And apparently, more people were aware of my crush than I knew. That might be Michael's fault… - Jim was thinking out loud, the thought occurring to him that Michael could have blabbed while he was away. – Anyway. I think they're trying to gauge whether we're together. They've been asking me what's your deal, who my new girlfriend is… I think the awkwardness like right then with Kevin would stop if we just went public.

Hannah was bursting at the seams, wanting to yell all the stuff she knew Lauren would just keep inside for lack of 'hard proof'. However, she had to agree with at least a part of what Jim was saying. – It's kinda true. – She said quietly. – People have asked me about the two of you as well. If he was being honest, Jim was somewhat upset that, apparently, Lauren was prepared to take Hannah's word over his on this matter. It's always problematic to have the best friend and significant other weigh in on the same thing, he guessed.

Lauren looked from one to the other, still not sure what to say.

Alright, I'm sick and tired of this. – Hannah had lost it and Lauren could tell by how she abruptly got up and yelled. – You need to recognize that your proud ass girlfriend is jealous and, while you're at it, why not touch upon why you haven't told her about the vacant apartment in your building, Halpert? – She spat at him over her shoulder, visibly angry at the both of them and left.


	15. Tantrums, Part 2

Lauren felt very exposed and vulnerable. There was a pause in which Jim recomposed himself.

Is that true? Are you feeling jealous… - He was going to add "of Pam", but instead just trailed off.

I think I'm going to cry if I start talking now. – Lauren said, like that was an entirely unacceptable thing to do, and covered her face. Jim quickly sat down next to her and put his arm around her, not realizing that was the absolute worst thing to do to a woman trying to hold back tears. Lauren tried to wiggle out as her eyes filled up against her wishes, but Jim held her in place. She threw her head back to expel the tears sideways and wiped the corners of her eyes, willing herself to stop this ridiculous embarrassing behavior. She had unmatched willpower. Some called it sheer pride. – Okay. Okay, I'm fine.

You're not! Jesus Christ, let's talk about this! – Jim was distraught and incredulous at her willingness to ignore things.

Fuck. – She muttered to herself. She hated not being prepared for arguments and discussions. – Yeah. I'm ready. Ok. Yes, I've been hearing rumors about you and Pam for some time now and it seems like your doting on her is stuff of office legend around here. And I'm not proud to say it's chipped away at me, it's extremely unsettling to be at work and feel uneasy around everybody. And compounding that is this apartment hunting and Hannah pressuring me to talk to you about moving into your building or with you and it's all…just… I dunno. It may not seem like a lot, but I can't. I'm just…it's too much. And I feel weak and I hate myself for it. – She concluded.

It _does_ seem a lot. Are you crazy? Of course it's a lot. – Jim answered. He knew Lauren held herself to a high standard, but he didn't know it was an impossibly high one. She gave herself no breaks. – You think I don't get crazy jealous _every_. _Day_? – He said emphatically. – With how people look at you around the office? When they imply there's no way you'd be with me? When you walk down the street? God damn. – He finished and she gave a faint smile, in spite of herself. – And about this "getting a hold of yourself"? You have the most willpower of anyone I know. I just tortured Andy till he went insane because he was humming _near_ me. – Lauren laughed. – Now that's a feeble mind. _You_ … I wish you had told me. And you are not weak and do not, under any circumstance, hate yourself. Hate me for being oblivious. – He was holding her hand and he kissed it. – And what's this thing about an apartment in my building? – He asked earnestly.

The apartment that just recently opened up. I thought you and Danny talked about it. – Lauren answered.

Jim thought for a moment. – No, I don't know anything about that. To be honest, I don't know what's going on in the building. I don't remember when's the last time I talked to a neighbor. I spend my days either outside or locked inside, I have no idea.

Oh. Alright. Hannah told Danny to give you the details. She thinks… - Lauren breathed in, not wanting to do this. – I should maybe move in.

Uh huh? – Jim just made a question like noise and gave no reaction.

Yeah. It's a mess cause Danny wants _her_ to move in and they have to work it out. It's just… ugh. A mess. Listen, let's just drop it for now and go back in. – She got up and was tugging on his sleeve.

Wait. Are you.. do you feel any better? – Jim asked, genuinely concerned.

I do, actually. – She said, a little surprised. She usually went into arguments armed to the teeth and was unrelenting till her logic won. It was a knee jerk reaction after years on debate teams. This whole pep talky, feeling-based thing was sort of new territory. It felt alright.

So what should I do now? – Jim asked. – I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with the way I interact with Pam and the others… - He was about to offer some behavioral alterations, but Lauren interrupted.

Nothing. Just be yourself. – She answered honestly. – I don't want you to change your behavior one iota because of me.

Are you sure? – He asked. His other girlfriends usually had laundry lists of how he shouldn't look at a girl, talk to a girl, where to look, how long to talk to her, never to be alone with her… This was strange. But Lauren didn't seem to be lying.

Yeah. I never ask anybody to change for me, but I demand the same. – She said seriously and a part of Jim knew the catch was probably in that last part.

Alright. – He shrugged. As they headed back, he hugged her from behind to stop her. They kissed without any tension or anger between them. – So are we finally telling everybody?

Lauren thought for a second. – Sure. When the next natural opportunity to tell them arises, we're telling them.

* * *

The rest of the day was fine. Lauren made plans with Hannah after work. She wanted to apologize for dragging her into this stupid drama and to thank her for not indulging it. The betting team was reunited and big eyes Ryan had joined. He was baiting Kelly to talk her usual nonsense and people placed bets on how long she'd talk and what she would say. Ryan won on the length, Pam won a little for guessing she'd say "awesome" twelve times and Jim won, guessing she'd mention six romantic comedies. Lauren won nothing, underestimating just how vacuous Kelly's conversations were.

Later, they switched Creed's apple for a potato and most people bet on that he would eat it without noticing. Common sense told Lauren that was impossible, but it turned out that Creed was more detached from reality than she could have dreamed.

Lauren's TH:

I don't know this place as well as I thought I did. – She said pensively. – Maybe I haven't seen through these people as well as I thought I did. I really feel off my game. One of my gifts, I thought, is that I can sum people up quickly. And then promptly dismiss them. But I'm getting cleaned out right now. – She said, not sure how that could be happening. – Am I reconsidering my _what_ for my coworkers? – She repeated a question the crew asked her. - Disdain? I'm not… - She was about to protest, but fell silent.

* * *

Dwight came in and announced Michael was depressed and he wanted everybody to come out and watch him kill himself. Stanley and Ryan asked innocuous questions about the weather first and the whole room could hardly keep from laughing. Lauren included.

It took her about an hour and half on her first day to pick up on everybody's glaring flaws and she even remembered their names using horribly unflattering nicknames as mnemonics. That's how one dimensional she saw them as for the longest time. However, feeling mousy Pam as a threat to her relationship or seeing big eyes Ryan as kind of funny and not just an self-important jerk nudged her towards reexamining her impressions.

* * *

Michael and Dwight did a bad two hander educational video on depression in the workplace, but live, and they later forced the warehouse guys to come out, and took it from the top.

Kevin wanted in on the 10 000:1 odds that Jim and Pam estimated was the possibility of Michael being really depressed. Lauren supported him and joined the bet. It made Jim happy to see her playing along.

They noticed a bouncy castle that Michael planned to jump on. Everybody got nervous at once. If he did, he would definitely hurt himself. Or worse.

Shit. Distract him. – Lauren told Jim and ran off.

* * *

Pam tried to distract Michael with saying there was a present for him, but Dwight blew it. Then Darryl started talking to him, first lecturing him on safety, but then stroking his ego and coaxing him into coming down. In the meantime, Lauren had run up and snuck up behind him. She put him in a choke hold and wrestled him to the ground. Crisis averted.

Michael's TH:

Darryl had recognized I was braver than him. And that I know more about safety. He didn't say it expli…cintly – Michael mumbled– but it goes without saying. As for Lauren… That came out of nowhere! That was impressive. But you know… My workers just care…very passionately about me. Plus, my shoulder got to second base with her! – He seemed most excited about this last part.

* * *

Everyone was impressed with Lauren, inundating her with questions about how she could do that. Dwight pulled away slightly and Lauren knew she had instilled some fear in him. He, not unlike her, didn't like surprises. He started spouting off about his karate, but Lauren only listened enjoying watching him try to disguise the bewildered look in his eyes. Jim admitted he was turned by this and she could barely stop him from letting the cat out the bag about them being together.

* * *

Wow, that was… - Pam searched for words. – Impressive!

Lauren tried to communicate with her neutrally and not come off as threatening. – Oh? Um, thanks.

Where did you learn how to do that? – Oscar asked. He and Lauren weren't on the best terms after the f-bomb and Lauren was trying to bide her time before attempting to reconcile with him.

No, that wasn't anything… - She tried not to mention her little bit of self-defense and martial arts training. – I just grabbed him and pulled him down.

That was some superhero stuff! – Kevin exclaimed and Dwight's nerdy ears pricked up. What wouldn't he have done to be compared to a superhero. – I mean, she flew all the way to the top of the building and she wrestled him down and…she saved his life! – Kevin was lecturing everybody on what they all just saw happen.

She didn't fly. – Dwight corrected.

She basically flew… - He and Kevin started debating the specifics of superhero behavior.

But no, that really was so good. – Pam steered the conversation away from those two. – It's such a useful skill to have.

Yeah, isn't it? – Hannah couldn't help herself. – Hey, Lauren, maybe you could set up a small self-defense workshop? After Michael put Darryl's life at risk and threatened to kill himself, I think these people should be able to protect themselves.

Lauren wanted to protest, but most people agreed that Hannah actually made a lot of sense. Thinking about it, Lauren would have to agree, too. Even if Michael weren't a hazard, it's empowering to be able to defend yourself.

I mean, it's not a bad idea, but I'm not qualified… - Lauren started, but Jim cut in.

Right, right. Maybe you should get beefy Joe? – He offered. – I wish Andy hadn't gone insane, he could _really_ give you a stunning depiction of the man. – He half joked with Lauren, but was still half jealous whenever Joe was brought up. Or even when his shadow popped in Jim's mind. – But he's probably traveling with all of Genghis Khan's mercenaries.

MMA fighters. – Hannah corrected.

Uh huh, sure. - Jim agreed, smiling a little, not looking away from Lauren.

Actually, he was in Stamford for a few days ago… - Lauren answered.

Jim got a little serious. – You talked?

Lauren opened her mouth to speak, but caught herself. – Uh…yeah.

Jim was computing in his head and it struck him that Lauren was in Stamford last weekend. Had they been alone, he would have asked about it.

Well, then, ask him. – Hannah suggested and everyone looked at Lauren excitedly.

Uh, sure. – She conceded, just to end the conversation.

* * *

Later, Lauren and Hannah were getting a drink. They were relaxed, but there was an elephant in the room. They both owed the other one an apology.

Lauren started.- You are such a bitch to bring up self-defense! – She shook her head, not really angry. – It always means a discussion about Joe is round the corner. – Hannah raised her eyebrows and grinned, indicating that's exactly why she does it. – Besides, what do you want? For me to beat up that little mouse?

Why not? – Hannah asked. – And don't act like you don't want to.

Jesus! – Lauren exclaimed. – I would never really do it, I'm not criminally insane.

I know. – Hannah snorted.

So, alright… You got me back. I had it coming. – Lauren moved towards her apology. – I am _really_..

She started, but Hannah put up her arms defensively. – God, don't, it's so unimportant…

No, really. – Lauren stopped her. – I really didn't conduct myself well, I don't know what I was doing. What I was waiting for.

Hannah gave a short loud laugh. – You were waiting for an opening. I know that. You play to win. You also argue…to win. But you're not winning this one by being smart.

Lauren's gaze dropped. She could tell Hannah was right. – So you're saying I'm losing this one? – She put on a brave smile, but there was a rare quiver of fear in her tone.

No! – Hannah rolled her eyes at the possibility. – But you're gonna win by being a woman, not a computer playing chess. Get that little mouse to back off and get invested in your relationship. I know it's scary, but that's how these things progress.

Lauren nodded. - Speaking of getting invested… How did Danny take your not moving in?

Hannah sighed. – Eh… fine. Sort of exactly how you would expect him to. He's not happy about it, it's gonna be difficult for a few days and then he'll realize it's for the best. - She sounded kind of blase. A part of Lauren missed that feeling of _I could take him or leave him_ , there was a lot of power in not caring too much. - Oh! – Hannah smacked her forehead. – Listen! Ugh, Danny is an idiot. – She rolled her eyes. - He totally forgot to tell Jim about the apartment! I should have known he would, I literally have his cell phone here – she pulled a strange cell phone out of her purse. – He forgets everything.

Lauren gave a faint smile, remembering she still hadn't made any definite decision.

Also, I've been to the apartment and _shit_. It's a real fixer upper, so I'm sorry, I know you wanna move in immediately, that's out of the question.

Yeah… It's fine, I'd given up on that idea anyway. – Lauren answered.

So uh, did Jim say anything? Apropos this moving thing? – Hannah asked gingerly.

I think his balls inverted and went back into his body. – They both laughed. – " _Uh huh_?" – Lauren imitated the high pitch sound he made and her eyes darted around the room in mock fear. – Fuck that. – Lauren concluded. – It's too soon anyway.

Weeell… - Hannah pulled out a folded piece of newspaper from her bag. – Then I might have an interesting suggestion. – She showed Lauren an ad she circled for a small house that sounded lovely. It was near work and they would finally get to be roommates. They'd wanted to do live together since college, but it never worked out that way.

Are you serious? – Lauren asked.

Hannah nodded furiously with a huge grin. They jumped up and embraced. It was all at once clear to Lauren – this was the person she should be living with. Someone who jumped at that chance and virtually peed their pants at the prospect.


	16. Coming Out

When Lauren got home, she called Jim, like she promised, and he came over.

Did you work things out with Hannah? – He asked, coming in and hugging her.

Uh huh, in fact… - Lauren started, but Jim had other things on his mind.

Listen, when uh… do I get to meet Joe? – It was officially the first time he used his name without some silly epithet. – Is he still around? I mean, I gather you two hung out last weekend, right? – He tried to appear nonchalant, but the accusation was clear. Lauren almost chuckled. It was highly amusing to her and everyone who knew both her and Joe that someone might assume they still had a thing for each other. If they saw them together for just a minute, it would be clear they were friends. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to introduce them.

He's not actually. He's all booked till the end of the month and then we'll see. – She answered patiently. Jim was not reassured or amused. – Alright, so this is _jealousy_ day, huh? – Jim sat on the couch, biting the inside of his lip, coming up with questions. – Shoot. Get all the crazy out, I'll tell you all the things you don't really wanna know. – Lauren prompted him.

Did you see him last weekend? – He asked, restrained, but tense.

Just as he was packing. – Lauren answered. – I went back home to get away from this claustrophobic feeling I had in Scranton and I hung out with some old friends, who told me he was around. So I went over, we talked for a bit and then he was gone. – Jim was about to speak, but she continued. – And I didn't tell you because it honestly didn't cross my mind, I was upset and it was the last thing I was thinking of. And I wouldn't have told you even if I had remembered.

Jim furrowed his eyebrows, not liking what he was hearing, but also taken aback at her honesty.

Joe is the kind of guy I can't talk to you about without making you jealous. And I don't like doing that, I'm not 15 anymore. It's like if you were telling me about your best friend Cindy Crawford. How you braid each other's hair and you give her massages and it means nothing. I'd gouge your eyes out. But if I saw you and felt no tension… - She concluded and shrugged.

You give him massages? Cause, I'll be honest, that's all I heard. – He joked, a little reassured, but not entirely happy.

Oh god, no, it's so much worse. – Lauren joked and sat on his lap.

But seriously though, when will I meet him? I feel like I should. You don't talk about him much and a part of me really appreciates that, but another part is kind of going crazy. – Lauren understood how that felt.

Well, in all seriousness, the self-defense training isn't a bad idea and he works with people who are licensed to teach it, so… maybe then, if he agrees to come? – She offered. Jim contemplated what that would be like and even though Joe would have the upper hand in that situation, he agreed.

Hey, um, about that apartment… - He continued after a pause. Usually, Lauren would alleviate the tension and her instinct was to let him off the hook and tell him about Hannah, like she tried to at the beginning of the conversation, but this time, she decided to let him dig himself out. – I checked it out and it's pretty bad, you're much better off staying here and being further away from work than moving into that dump. – Lauren nodded. – But uh… I dunno if you remember, but way back, we kinda talked about, _hey, why don't you just move in with me when your lease is up_? – She nodded again. And he sighed, looking upset. – I've been thinking about that pretty hard and it's really brought some stuff up.

What stuff? – She stroked his arm and shoulder to soothe him.

A, the apartment is too small for both of us to live there full time. So we would need a bigger place and I can't afford that right now. Which, in turn, makes me reexamine my career and what I'm doing at Dunder-Mifflin. - He was looking anywhere but at Lauren, embarrassed and disappointed. - I don't wanna be there forever, but I'm not doing anything to get out. And then also, B, it feels so grown up, to find a house for us, to really say, this is it, we're in it for the long haul. I feel like I've been letting you down and I feel so guilty about how you feel…at work... - He was speaking fast and his breathing was shallow. For a moment, it seemed to Lauren like he might cry. She felt really uneasy about it, so to avoid saying anything, she just pulled his face into her chest and stroked his hair. – I feel like such a child and like I'm letting you down, but I'm freaked out and I don't… think I'm ready for us to move in.

Oh, man… - Now she felt bad for letting him bare his soul for nothing. – I really was not gunning for us to move in at all! – She said quietly, still rocking and soothing him. – I'm kind of feeling overwhelmed as well and it's _so_ not the right time. When Hannah brought up the apartment, all it did was make me take a hard look at our relationship and see what needs fixing. Don't worry, you're not the only one who's not ready. – They looked at each other for a long, tender moment.

But what are you gonna do, then? – He asked.

Actually, Hannah found a place big enough for the two of us and we're gonna be roommates. – Lauren answered, enthusiastic about the idea.

Oh, wow, that's cool. – Jim was relieved her situation was resolved and he hugged her and squeezed hard.

After, the conversation touched up on Joe and Pam and their petty jealousies again and there was a strange mix of fun and teasing undercut with some real pangs of jealousy and anger, an atmosphere they would experience from time to time in the future. That, plus the sight of Lauren taking down a grown man so easily today reminded Jim of how physically powerful she was, which meant the sex was rougher and more vigorous than usual. The next day, Lauren's back, arms and wrists were a little tender and Jim couldn't lean on his back as the pink scratches on his back stung.

* * *

At the office, Michael reminded people about Phyllis and Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration's wedding. Today was the day the girls were throwing a bridal shower for Phyllis at the office. He then announced he was instituting _prima nocta_ , but withdrew the statement when he was told what it meant. Even worse, however, was that he had invited Todd Packer, someone who Lauren had heard of, but was only meeting today.

* * *

While the girls were setting up the conference room for a docile little luncheon, Michael couldn't keep out. He kept calling them spinsters and inadvertently making gay sexual innuendos about the little party the guys were having at the warehouse.

Lauren was by Jim's desk while she waited for the copier to become free when Packer arrived. He came up behind them and smacked Jim across his sore, scratched back and he winced and writhed more than he usually would have, only fueling Packer's abusive energy.

Halpert! Tall, _queer_ , handsome as ever. – He taunted and did an imitation of an effeminate gay man that was supposed to be Jim. Lauren was looking at him with a mixture of superiority and scornfulness that he apparently found sexy. – Hello, hello. – He breathed suggestively as he sauntered over to her. – Todd Packer. – He introduced himself.

Lauren Webber. Jim's girlfriend. – She announced calmly. The camera whirled around the room to catch people's reactions - from Jim's smirk and a knwoing look he gave Lauren, Pam's startled, open mouthed, unmoving expression, Phyllis's _I knew it_ look, Hannah mouthing _Finally!_ and rolling her eyes, not looking up, Dwight looking suspiciously from one to the other, Stanley not even looking up...

 _Shut up_! Shut it! Either this chick is a _dude_ or Halpert here got scared straight! Look at that! How on Earth could Halpert pull that?! – Packer asked the office, all the while pointing at Lauren like a piece of meat. She simply caught his little finger and jerked it down. He was on his knees and bent unnaturally, trying to keep his finger from breaking in a nanosecond. Before anyone really knew what happened, Lauren let go and let him get up to his feet. Michael was already making some scene and Packer utilized the moment to save face. – She's feisty, I like that. – He muttered to Jim as he ran over to Michael, rubbing his hand.

* * *

After a short meeting with Packer, Michael announced they would also have strippers at the party. Angela protested, but Meredith yelled at her to shut up. It was maybe the second time Lauren had heard her speak. Jim was tasked with procuring a female stripper, but refused and was let off the hook now that people knew about him and Lauren. Especially because Lauren could beat him up, Kevin noted with his usual half dull, half creepy expression. When Lauren offered to find the male stripper and Meredith enthusiastically agreed, Jim jumped in and said he would do it.

* * *

When Jim went to get some water, Pam followed him.

It was difficult to start the conversation, but after some back and forth _So_ … and comical exasperated sighs, Pam asked. – So is everything okay? With you?

Uh, yeah. Why? – He answered, not understanding what she was referring to.

Well, you seem a little tired.

Oh, well… I guess I had a late night. I was up late… - He searched quickly for a story in his head, but remembered the office had now heard about him and Lauren and he didn't have to. – …with Lauren. We were…uh, working through some stuff and you know… - He trailed off.

Pam didn't have a response for this, a part of her was still hoping against hope that maybe Lauren was joking with Packer, although she had noticed something was up with them since the beginning. – Um, yeah. You should get more sleep. – She continued to talk some improvised nonsense about how good sleep is and how she feels so much better after eight hours than after six. Jim was polite and soon got out of there and she leaned her head against a vending machine, mad at herself and feeling embarrassed.

* * *

Back at the office, Dwight was on the phone, getting the stripper and at one point, asked Jim "redhead or brunette". It was an honest enough question, but several people looked from auburn haired Lauren to the light brunette Pam and waited for Jim's answer. Jim had noticed and tried to be cool. His answer was "blonde" and Dwight was really into it. Lauren's eyes darted from Angela to Dwight and she winked at Jim who smirked back. Pam was still crestfallen.

Instead of getting the stripper from the place Michael told him to call, Jim got in touch with the Scholastic speakers of Pennsylvania and got a Ben Franklin impersonator for the girls.

* * *

It was awkward when Michael brought him into the break room, where the girls were day drinking, with the exception of Angela and having fun. With the exception of Angela. He clearly was not getting that the man really wasn't a stripper and gave him permission to spank the girls if they were being naughty, especially Phyllis.

Not about to let the day go to waste, the girls had fun with Mr. Franklin, asking him question that ranged from those that defamed his character to random silly ones. Lauren and Pam led the charge, but the rest joined in as well and it soon devolved into a flirting parade. Ben Franklin even tied a cherry stem with his tongue. He had his eye on Pam, winking at her and making saucy remarks.

* * *

When the time was up, Lauren went into the kitchen to make some coffee and Pam was there as well. They first made some more fun of Ben, but then Lauren decided to be the grown up and talk about what they would eventually have to talk about.

So, I don't know if you heard, but Jim and I are dating. – She started. Pam nodded vigorously, but remained quiet. – And I feel like I should tell you that I know about you and Jim. He told me had a crush on you once and that he told you about it. – Pam looked surprised and squinted, processing what Lauren said and how she phrased it. She wondered why Jim chose to call it a crush; was it just to spare her feelings or was there more to it?

Oh. – was all Pam said in response.

So I just… I want it all out in the open. So if you have any feelings for him or feel like there is anything you should tell me, I would really urge to do it now. I just don't want any secrets or awkwardness or anything like that. – Lauren smiled, trying hard to be civil.

No, I… - Pam felt nervous. Lauren's gaze was one of a confident intuitive woman, but feeling guilty and hurt, the gaze just felt predatory. She really wanted out of the situation. – I kinda suspected... I mean, I could _see_ there was something there. – She checked herself. – And that's great. You make a great couple. There's nothing between Jim and me. There's nothing to say.

Alright. I hope that didn't sound like an accusation, I just prefer to speak plainly and not hide anything. – Lauren explained and they left the kitchen. Lauren left a cup of coffee on Jim's desk and noticed one of her Bertrand Russell books by his computer with the bookmarker towards the end. She bit her lip, pleased, and went back to her desk.

* * *

Towards the end of the work day, people couldn't be stopped from recounting the events of the day, with the stripper and the lap dance that Michael guiltily skipped out on and the horny Ben Franklin that was dead set on Pam, and who Jim still found time to convince Dwight into believing was the real Ben Franklin.

Oscar was telling them how Dwight sat the stripper down next to Angela and made her answer the phone till the three hours she was paid to stay were up and how Angela was sick to her stomach. Kelly used the opportunity to "subtly" question Ryan.

I mean, I didn't even think she was that hot. What about you guys? Did any of you think she was hot? - She asked, eyes not moving from Ryan.

Don't do this. – Ryan warned, looking away, uncomfortable.

I thought she was. – Feeling generous, Lauren jumped in and shocked everyone with her lack of inhibition, taking the focus away from Ryan. – Not my type exactly, but I can see it.

We know your type. – Kelly said, looking at Jim and several people laughed. The pair, finally not hiding around the office, looked at each other and Lauren stuck the tip of her tongue out at Jim. He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in, kissing the side of her head. - Anyway, you know who was totally flirting with Ben Franklin? Pam. – Kelly smiled.

Pam rolled her eyes and smiled back.

Really? Looks like I hired the right guy. – Jim joked. – Any real potential there, Beasly?

Yeah. Right. – Pam joked back, but she didn't feel like it. – I think I'm ready to be set up with one of your friends from business school. – She said to Ryan on her way out.

* * *

As they were leaving, Jim resumed his old Stamford habit of holding Lauren's bag as she put her coat on. It was a cute little gesture and one that reminded her of being all giddy around him. She grabbed his scarf and pulled him in for a kiss. Kelly and Ryan were on their way out as well and Kelly aww'd and kissed a reluctant Ryan, who grabbed her hand and rushed out of the office.

Dwight was the last person out of the office and found Pam crying in the hall. He asked who had done that to her and took off his jacket to give to her, but then tied it around his waist. He offered Pam a handkerchief and sat with her. His conclusion was that her PMS was pretty bad.


	17. The Wedding

It was Friday, the day before Phyllis's wedding. The office was buzzing with chatter; people were planning what to wear, when and with whom to meet up, what they were bringing. Last week, Michael had admonished Lauren about not being very girly and suggested she go out and buy a dress for the wedding. While she chalked this up to his usual inappropriate inane remarks, Hannah had to agree. Although she wore the occasional skirt, she hardly ever donned a dress and this was a sweet opportunity to go out shopping and get a timeless piece. The little black dress. They found a long goddess black dress, fitted on top, with slits that showed her legs as she walked and loose sheer layers in the back that she could wave around while dancing. Lauren had to admit she loved it.

Already settled on a tux he was wearing and knowing who his date was, Jim spent the day conditioning Dwight to stick his arm out for an Altoid whenever he hears the reboot sound on Jim's computer. It had worked.

Kelly was going with Ryan who, although he went of his own volition, never really recognized Kelly as his date. He acted like she was a barnacle hanging off his arm and he an indifferent, unknowing ship. Dwight, Angela and Pam were all going sans date. Toby had asked Hannah to come in a way that didn't exactly phrase their going as a date, but it looked like he took it as more than just two coworkers pairing up. It wasn't the most comfortable thing, but since she didn't feel right bringing a plus one to the wedding of somebody she hardly knew, Danny couldn't go and she would have to suck it up for the evening. Stanley was going with his wife and Kevin's band was playing. When Lauren said she had no idea Kevin was in a band, Pam filled her in on the hilarious disaster they were and said she considered booking them for her own wedding.

* * *

On the day, everybody gathered in front of the place where the reception would be held. The boys looked handsome in their suits. Lauren felt somewhat overdressed, though. That is, until she saw Kelly wearing a tiara. Pam was currently ranting to her about how Phyllis apparently stole the design to her invitations as well and how it felt like she was being invited to her own wedding. When Angela appeared looking like she was cosplaying Jackie O., Lauren felt even more relieved. Thankfully, there were nutjobs around the office that would put any embarrassment she could cause herself to shame just by being themselves.

Michael was meant to push Phyllis's dad as he saw her down the aisle, so he felt it was a big day for him. As they were dropping off their presents, Stanley and his wife bumped into Jim and Lauren. It turned out they both got a toaster, which seemed to ruin the whole day for the curmudgeonly Stanley. Shaking this off, they headed outside, past the sign informing guests whose wedding it was. it was a big white ornate heart that said _P &R_. Lauren read it out loud and Jim explained it stood for Phyllis and Robert. Also Pam and Roy, Pam pointed out to the cameras.

* * *

As they filed into the church, Dwight noted there were too many people on this Earth and that we need a new plague. Jim, ever watchful for a pranking opportunity, convinced him that they must be wedding crashers and Dwight was all over that info. Once inside, Kelly revealed herself to be in a white dress. Meredith pointed out that it was uncouth to wear white to a wedding, to which Kelly replied it was an emergency. It turned out she just thought she looked good in white. At least the tiara now made sense.

Michael was beyond disappointed when Albert got to his feet in the middle of the aisle and walked the rest of the way with Phyllis. Everybody else was touched and clapped, with the exception of Pam, who was processing the sight of Phyllis in the same dress she was going to wear. Not to be outdone or have his big moment taken from him, Michael still dragged the wheelchair up to the altar and squeezed in with the groomsmen. He later 'presented' the married couple for the first time twice. Once before Bob had said yes and then after he did. It was jarring how his voice reverberated in the church and took the intimacy and solemnity out of the moment. Lauren hoped that she wouldn't still be working in this office when he got married.

* * *

At the reception, Kelly doled out advice to Pam on how to deal with Phyllis straight up stealing her wedding, like getting drunk and telling everybody she was pregnant.

Or like, you could totally like wear like a wedding dress and squeeze into _every_ photo. – Lauren cut in with a Valley girl accent, not able to resist poking fun at Kelly.

Oh my God, that would be awesome! – Kelly agreed, the joke getting caught in her comical tiara as it sailed over her head.

Kevin's band was playing what he was overly proud to point out was their _third_ gig. They opened with _Roxanne_.

I believe that in the industry, the call this _napalm_. – Lauren leaned over and whispered to Jim, who snorted into his drink.

* * *

The reception went mostly fine. The food was nice, people were in a good mood, Dwight was on duty trolling for crashers, which meant he wasn't pestering anyone from the office… Everything would have been fine if Michael weren't trying to get as much attention as he could.

Roy went over to Pam, whose mood was dropping as the reception progressed. This was a reminder of the fact she almost got married, that she was single, that Jim was now… Roy stopped her train of thought as he sat down and commented on how nice the wedding was. When Pam told him what was going on, he was embarrassed and a little sad about how checked out he was while they were together. At first they were commiserating a little about not having had their wedding and being single again, but then they continued to talk fondly about some nice memories they had of their relationship.

* * *

To everyone's horror, Michael wouldn't let up. He butted in and made a speech along with the family members. Highlights from his speech include reciting the Webster's dictionary definition of welding instead of wedding and trying to prompt applause. Unsuccessfully. Several people leaned over to Lauren and suggested she take him down again. She was, in all honesty, tempted to. His thinly veiled quest for attention continued until Phyllis almost cried after essentially being called a slut and Bob kicking him out.

Trying to bring the room back up, the band chose some faster paced songs and Lauren and Hannah got to dancing. At college, they had won some dance offs and they were young and attractive enough not to care what people thought. They were quite proficient dancers and suited each other's styles well. They did, however, try to keep less sexy than usual, out of respect for the occasion and Phyllis and Bob's elderly family members. This didn't stop creeps like Packer or some other random guys from trying to move in on them or most eyes from being glued to their curves. Jim, feeling like he couldn't keep up, went over to the bar and promised he would come and dance later. He met Pam there.

Hey. – She smiled.

Hey. – He returned the smile.

Is there nothing your girlfriend can't do? – She asked with the same fixed smile as before, looking uncomfortably down.

Jim gave a small laugh. – I guess not. So when are we gonna get to see some of those famous Beasly dance moves? – He asked.

I'm pacing myself. – She was a little reluctant. The whole day was just weird and unsettling.

Come on. Get out there. Give the people what they want. – Jim cheered her on.

No, I'm such a dorky dancer. – She smiled against herself.

I know, it's very cute. – Jim enunciated every word and gave her a tender look.

Jim's TH:

Hypothetically? If I thought Pam was…interested…then… - He answered some crew guy's question. He looked torn and unsure. - No, it's..totally hypothetical. – He rolled his eyes at himself and what he was saying and was off to find Lauren.

* * *

Dwight, the designated wedding crasher police, was stoic in his duty and kicked Michael out as he tried to come back in.

After another drink and the band's choice to play some romantic slower paced songs, Jim suggested he and Lauren danced.

No, I can't slow dance. – She refused flatly.

What do you mean? I just saw you do every move from every music video from the past 20 years and you're gonna tell me you can't slow dance? – He laughed.

Yeah! Just like you refuse to dance, but I _know_ you must be able to. – Lauren challenged.

How can you be so sure? – He asked, moving in closer. They were a little tipsy and giggly.

Well, Joe told me that there was always a correlation between the way a man dances and makes love. And _you_ , my friend, - Lauren grabbed his collar. – have every predisposition to be a great dancer.

He was amused and flattered, but asked. – But how are you sure his supposition is true?

Oh, no, it was 100% true, he was a _phenomenal_ dancer, we danced every chance we got. – Lauren assured him, trying to convince him that he could surely also dance well.

Jim searched for a camera to give his legendary look to and Lauren covered her mouth.

I just heard what I said. – She laughed. – I'm so sorry, that was hilarious!

Alright, now you owe me. Get up. I'm gonna blow your mind with my slow dancing. – He pulled her arm.

No! – Lauren whined. - I don't think I've ever done it. I can dance silly or grind or drop it like it's hot… - She mimed all of those as Jim gently pushed her forward and he laughed. – But I never slow danced with a guy. It just sounds all icky and mushy…

Right. And you're too cool and tough for that. – Jim teased, but the romantic in him who really liked the idea was hurt.

No, now you make me sound like some stereotype. Like a deep voiced chick with a crew cut lifting weights and spitting. – Lauren barked. She didn't like being categorized and dismissed easily. – I really don't know how, I don't know any steps. – She admitted.

What are you talking about? There are no steps. – Jim was amused at her unfaltering seeking of logic and patterns in everything. He got to his feet and cajoled her up as well. – You just stand close. Shut everybody out. Feel the other person's body against yours. – He took one of her hands and spun her around to face him and perform all the things he was describing. – Then you look at each other for a while and silently dedicate the romantic lyrics to the other person. Then lean against their forehead, swaying. You put your head on my shoulder. – He gently pressed her head down and rested his hand on her neck. – And breathe in my sexy cologne. – She laughed and felt his abs and sides contact as he laughed as well. – Just shut everybody out and hold the person you… - The natural conclusion to that sentence was 'love', but he stopped. Instead, he kissed the top of her head and continued to sway.

Seeing them slow dancing, Pam stepped out for some air and solitude. The slow jam session continued and Roy came up to Pam. Again.

Hey, they're playing our song. – He stated casually.

Yeah, that's weird. I thought they only played _The Police_. – Pam replied politely.

I know. I gave them 20 bucks. – Roy admitted and Pam looked up at him. - You wanna dance? – He offered. He looked unsure and nervous, but very sincere and sweet. It reminded her of waaaay back when they first started dating, how he was attentive and kind and took nothing for granted. Being so used to him as inattentive, it was touching that he remembered their song and got the band to play it.

They danced cheek to cheek outside, just feet away from Dwight and Angela, who were also looking for some privacy. Neither couple noticed. They were in their own bubble.

* * *

After the song ended and they hung around for a little longer in the same tender mood, Roy suggested they leave. - Hey, you wanna get out of here? – Pam nodded.

He waited close to the door while Pam got her coat. Jim was by the bar and caught the moment when they took each other's hand and stepped out. He looked on, surprised and disappointed.

The stage was open for people to do karaoke and Lauren had gotten up to sing.

 _I was mixed up when you came to me_

 _Too broke to fix_

 _Said 'Daddy get you gone, I'm missing my baby'_

 _Still missing my baby..._

Jim's TH:

Here's a _not_ hypothetical. – He smiled at the camera. - I'm really happy I'm with Lauren.

 _I was stitched up by the hands of fate_

 _Said how you gonna make it on your own_

 _If luck is a lady?_

 _Maybe luck is a lady_

Lauren had told Oscar earlier she wanted to apologize for being so forward and that he would recognize her gesture when it happened.

 _I was going down for the third time_

 _My heart was broken, I was not open to your suggestions_

 _I had so many questions_

 _That you just kissed away_

Oscar and Gil were standing in front of the stage, looking thoroughly happy and amused by Lauren's performance.

 _Tell me, I guess that Cupid was in disguise_

 _The day you walked in and changed my life_

 _I think it's amazing,_

 _The way that love can set you free_

Though she wasn't the best singer, she danced cheerfully and, not having to worry about anyone unwanted grinding up on her on stage, she could let her freak flag fly.

 _So now I walk in the midday sun_

 _I never thought that my savior would come_

 _I think it's amazing_

 _I think you're amazing_

Jim was inside the reception hall at this point and had made his way into the crowd gathered in front of Lauren. They occasionally made eye contact and he would whoop to cheer her on.

 _I was going down for the third time_

 _My heart was broken, I thought that loving you_

 _was out of the question_

 _Then I saw my reflection_

 _Saying please don't let this go_

People were dancing and singing along, couples were kissing and the song choice was a hit.

 _Celebrate, this life with you, baby_

 _I think you should celebrate, yeah_

 _I think it's amazing_

 _I think you're amazing_

Lauren concluded her song and took a bow as people clapped enthusiastically. She skipped down and threw herself into Jim's arms. It was a euphoric moment and pure happiness. How ridiculous that a little while ago she was agonized and paranoid. This look they were sharing, this white hot energy, it made her ears ring and muscles twitch. She was ecstatic. She couldn't wait till they were alone. However, Phyllis still had to throw the bouquet and they had to see the couple off.

* * *

All the girls were coerced into gathering on the dance floor for the bouquet toss. Well, it was mostly Lauren, Hannah and Angela that were coerced. Others were either happy to play along or, like Kelly and a drunk Meredith, way too into it. Ryan was also lingering comically near the crowd of girls. Phyllis threw the bouquet and Ryan knocked it out of an eager Kelly's way. Hannah was the one who caught it. Actually, _caught_ might be exaggerating it. It hit her on the shoulder and rolled down. She instinctively closed her hands around it and then felt like it was rude to let it drop. Toby was smiling in her direction and extended his arms to embrace her. She was too polite to refuse.

As they were seeing Phyllis and Bob off, they found Michael outside. He had worked things out with Albert and this made Phyllis happy. It put a nice bow on the end of the evening.

Lauren and Jim had their coats on and were in a cab as fast they could achieve it.


	18. Art Show

About a month had passed in Scranton. Phyllis was back from an inexplicable 6 week honeymoon/vacation and no one was clamoring to hear all about it. Pam was back with Roy and they had announced it to the office, since he was constantly up at reception. Oscar, Hannah and Lauren had hit it off ever since the wedding, the girls enjoyed having a grounded friend at Scranton.

On the whole, things were going okay, Lauren was making a conscious effort not to let her suspicions about Pam get the best of her – after all, she was now with Roy, all lovey dovey, and her relationship with Jim was solid. Except for one thing. They hadn't said _I love you_ yet. It had been months and months of dating, doing everything together and having a blast, but not _that_. And to be perfectly honest, she wanted to. Not so much the first grandiose moment, when you're choosing the perfect time and place, almost fainting with nerves. The everyday relaxed kind of _I love you_ , where you say it, mean it and don't dwell on it. The kind Pam and Roy did half a dozen times a day when he'd come up to steal of glance of her.

* * *

She was on the phone with Joe, trying to set up a date for some self-defense training in Scranton. Being a good guy, he had, of course, immediately said yes to doing it. The conversation eventually shifted to her. He was up to speed on her affairs, as was she on his.

So Hannah told me you're still not doing the _I love yous_? – He scoffed. – What the fuck is wrong with you? I told Katherine I loved her within a month.

Uh huh. And when we had to literally get four guys to carry you out of the bathroom because you got so shitfaced you couldn't stand up and piss, who was that about? – Lauren asked.

I believe the perpetrator was Jose Cuervo, sweetums. – He answered matter of factly.

Okay then. – She sighed.

I'm just saying, stop being such a puss. Either nut up and have a real relationship with the dude or end it. What you're doing right now is pretty gross. You're letting this passive little dude drag you down, lock you up in some fucking little town and change your mentality. Hannah tells me you actually felt threatened by some assistant? – Joe asked incredulously.

Receptionist. – Lauren snapped back.

That's ridiculous. _Who_ is that person? Rooming with Hannah, jealous of some hobbit looking bitch, won't tell her boyfriend she loves him? At least I got my feelings about Kat out. I was told I almost KO'd those four dudes. – He said weirdly proud.

Those were civilians, you fucking animal. But yeah, you're right. I've become somewhat of a pussy. – Lauren admitted.

Hey, look, you could benefit from some softening up. – Joe jumped in immediately. While he liked to bust her lady balls and challenge her, what he liked the most was to see her happy. – Just don't get all repressed and Stepfordish is what I'm saying. – He warned.

Okay. And you don't let all those steroids scramble your brains. Read a book every once in a while. – She answered. Had anyone else said that to him, they'd get blasted in the face. With Lauren, he just laughed at that heartily.

Love you, bitch. – He said.

Love you, bitch. – She returned and hung up.

* * *

It was the day of Pam's art exhibit. She was walking around the office, chatting with people and giving out fliers. She was currently talking to Kelly, who was far more eager to discuss her getting back with Roy than attending the exhibit. She later made her way to everybody else.

At lunch, Oscar said he'd go, only because Gil was pestering him to do more culture-related things. Hannah decided she wanted to go as well, to see other people's work. Lauren was on board, too. Hannah decided to work on Danny, to try to get him to go as well and Lauren turned to Jim.

Coming? – She asked as he entered the kitchen.

Where? – He asked, not a clue what they were talking about.

Pam's art thing. Duh. She's inviting everyone. – Lauren answered.

Um… - He couldn't find a way to be diplomatic. – We'll see.

We're all going, so… - Lauren motioned to the table and left him an opening to join them.

Jim just shrugged and was out the door.

The rest of the workday was uneventful, with Michael off with Ryan, doing what he thought was a guest speech at business school. With him out of office, the days were peaceful.

* * *

After work, Lauren was getting ready for the exhibit with Hannah. Danny was going and Lauren thought that when he heard this, Jim would for sure come as well. Not only was it the decent thing to do, but, whatever their past, he and Pam were friends, plus his buddy would be there. She called him, but he was still unenthused.

There's no particular reason. I just don't feel very much into it. I'd prefer to stay in. – Jim answered Lauren's question.

Alright then, I guess I'll come up with a polite lie I anybody asks where you are. Maybe something about your sporadic hemorrhoid trouble? – She offered and Danny doubled over laughing.

That's real classy. – Jim was unimpressed. – Hey, you wanna come over after you guys are finished?

Yeah, I was thinking of letting Hannah and Danny hang out here alone. Plus, I look good, you gotta see what I got going on. – Lauren joked.

* * *

As they arrived, they saw Roy's car near where they parked. That was a good sign; it would have been embarrassing if they were the only one's there to support Pam.

The group got in and had a quick look at several other artists' work before finding Pam's stuff. She wasn't around at that moment and that was for the best because… sheesh.

They all stopped and stared for a second, switching gears from ready to shower praise on her and be pleasantly surprised to… this.

They were all quiet till Lauren let out a disappointed sigh.

Oh, man. – Hannah was relieved someone had expressed it first.

This looks like the kind of stuff you did in the second grade. – Lauren was honestly shocked. She wasn't expecting the mastery and composition of the Renaissance, but she certainly wasn't expecting a vase with flowers with no perspective or a misshapen stapler.

Yeah. I mean, I know this is a small town, but how is this in an _art_ exhibit? – Hannah and Gil continued with some insight and criticism that Lauren could follow, but not quite join, as they knew much more about the technical side of painting than she. It got to a point where Oscar felt bad and tried to say something nice.

You're the one who said we needed more culture. – Oscar shrugged, feeling defensive about how disappointed Gil was.

This is culture to you? – He almost Z snapped.

It's her first try. – Oscar tried to justify it.

Yeah. On Van Gogh's first try, he drew the Hands of the Peasants. – Gil said like he won the argument.

Meaning what? – Oscar scratched the side of his face.

Meaning, real art takes courage, okay? And honesty. – Gil explained.

Well, those aren't Pam's strong points. – Oscar had to admit.

Yeah, exactly. That is why this is _motel art._ – Gil leaned in and his words were drenched in disdain.

You guys should come up with something nice to say, you know? For when she shows up? – Danny noted.

I don't think I can, babe, what could you possibly say? – Hannah told him.

Maybe we should just try to slip out of here before anyone spots us. – Oscar suggested and everyone felt that was probably the best option.

Unbeknownst to them, Pam had heard all the criticism and had mixed with the crowd to get away from them.

* * *

Without Jim there, Lauren didn't want to ruin the double date vibe, so she left the four of them to go out. It was still way too early, they thought they would stay longer at the exhibit, but what are you gonna do.

Hey, you're back really early. – Jim noted as he let Lauren in.

Yeah. It wasn't…quite what we expected. – She said, walking in and taking off her jacket.

Oh no? By the way, you look _ravishing_. – He gave her a hug.

I know. – Lauren responded in her most conceited tone, throwing her hair over shoulder. – Yeah, her stuff was more…simplistic than we thought. We just kinda didn't know what to say, so we bailed. You shoulda been there, I'm sure you could've come up with something that she would appreciate hearing.

What are you gonna do. – Jim looked pretty disinterested . – Hey, guess what? – He said, taking her hand and leading her to the dining table, changing the topic.

What?

There have been some rumors about a corporate position in New York. – He said in a way that signaled this was important.

Uh huh? – Lauren encouraged him to go on.

What do you think about me applying? – He asked.

Um… - She searched for words for a moment. – Whoa, I don't…know. You would really be into taking that job? – Hearing this made Lauren realize Joe was right; so far, Jim had been pretty passive and Lauren noticed she had become somewhat passive and complacent since being with him, it was a surprise he'd show initiative like this.

Yes. – He answered resolutely. – Ever since you moved, I've been thinking about what I'm doing and what I'm not doing. Change isn't just gonna fall into my lap. So I thought I'd give it a try.

Honey! – Lauren smiled broadly. – That is _so_ great! Absolutely, go for it. – She squeezed his forearm in support.

Awesome. So tomorrow night is that cocktail thing that Michael is bringing the branch managers to, so I thought that would be a good place to make some positive impressions, see what's up.

Lauren squinted. – Oh, that's tomorrow?

Yeah. You forgot? – Jim asked.

Shit, yeah. I gotta get back home, find something to wear… - Lauren got up.

No, you gotta stay with me tonight, it's an exciting night. – He hugged her around the waist still sitting and she played with his messy hair. – Call Hannah, tell her to pick you up something and drop it off to be dry cleaned tomorrow morning.

Alright. – Lauren shrugged. – Wow, I didn't take long to be persuaded. – She laughed and kissed him.

That's good. – He smiled back and continued to look at her, contemplating.

What is it? – She asked after a pause.

I'm just thinking how different my life would have been if I hadn't moved to Stamford. Like, what the hell would I be doing now? – He asked with an air of melancholy in his tone.

What do you think? – She asked neutrally.

I think I would be miserable. – He answered straight forwardly. – I don't even wanna think about it. I'm just so happy you're here and we're doing this. – He continued and again looked at her for a long moment. There was again tension in the room, like something big was looming, but was coming slowly. Lauren diffused this tension by asking about what he would do if he got the job and they had fun talking about their plans for the future and all the cliché things they would do in New York.

* * *

Later, somewhere in the middle of the night, she had woken up. She kept twisting around, not able to sleep soundly. He was doing the same. The news of the day had affected them. She finally propped herself on her elbow and shook his shoulder.

Hey. – She whispered and continued to shake till he stretched and was awake enough to listen and not forget he'd been woken in the morning.

Yeah? – He asked, in a sleepy hoarse voice.

I love you. – She said plainly. After a beat, she slapped his shoulder, like she had been sparring with him at the gym and rolled over.

He was still in a dreamy state and it took a little while to process this bizarre little occurrence. - Wait, what? – He turned her over. – Did you just say…

Yeah. Listen. Ideally, what I want is, starting with tomorrow, to be able to say that off the cuff. Not make a big deal out of it. – She proposed earnestly. He started at her, expression changing from confused to warm.

Alright then. – He smiled his crooked smile. – Love you. – He murmured casually as he laid back down and snuggled into his pillow.

Lauren was still on her back, a smile slowly stretching across her face. It was like there was a violent chemical reaction in her bones, brewing an enormous amount of energy threatening to explode out of her body, making her ears ring and mind go blank. She looked over at Jim slowly and his smile was beaming at 1000 kW in the dark. They embraced energetically, flailing their limbs and giggling like over enthused children. As the burst of energy subsided, they shuffled close and spooned.

It's like, whatever, relax. – Lauren muttered and they both burst out laughing again.


	19. Cocktails

The next morning, Jim and Lauren were all smiles, excited about his little secret.

Lauren went over to Hannah's desk after she saw her come in to thank her for picking out a dress for her.

On her way, she saw what she recognized to be one of Pam's watercolors on the wall. It was the Dunder-Mifflin building that Hannah pointed out had two sources of light and the shadow was wrong. Apparently, Michael had bought it and framed it. A part of Lauren felt bad that most people wouldn't like it, but another, sentimental part was glad someone appreciated it.

When she got to the annex, she saw there were _Herr's Salt and Vinegar Chips_ on Hannah's desk with a note and a nicely arranged rose next to it from Jim.

That boyfriend of yours is a charmer. – She said, reading the note.

Yeah. – Lauren swooned like a schoolgirl and she did not care how it looked. – Listen, I owe you one. Whatever you want, let me know.

How about you pick up some strong liquor when you pick up your dress? – Hannah rolled her eyes. – We're getting together as a group after work again.

Really? – Lauren was surprised. The people from work were getting together a lot recently.

Yeah, Pam's idea. I guess she finally has Roy by the balls, so she's making him do all the stuff he probably hates. – Hannah assumed.

Well, good for her. Maybe there's a fun personality under there somewhere. – Lauren answered. – You know what? I might just bring over some booze and you work on getting everybody drunk. Who knows what crazy secrets the people around here have. – Lauren gave Hannah a hug and went back to work.

* * *

At lunch, Lauren stepped out to get her dress from dry cleaning. Hannah had made a good choice. She also stopped by her and Hannah's house to get a hair curler. She would have to get ready at work, she and Jim had to get on the road pretty soon after quitting time if they were gonna make it.

* * *

She came back in with her silky nude dress and all the girls aw'd. Chipmunk Kelly couldn't wait till Michael and Dwight were out of the office so they could start getting ready.

Roy tried to blow off the little get together the office people were having, but Pam put her mousy foot down and warned he had to do boyfriend things with her now. After he had agreed and left, Lauren, choosing pages to copy and walking over to reception, stuck her hand out for Pam to high five. She did and then smiled at the camera, satisfied and validated.

Pam's TH:

I've decided that I'm going to be more honest. I'm gonna start telling people what I want directly. So look out world, cause old Pammy's gettin' what she wants. – She smiled. – And don't call me Pammy! – She admonished.

* * *

Once Michael had gone, Lauren ran over to the coat rack and pulled a bottle in a paper bag from her purse and made her way into the annex. Meredith craned her neck after her.

Meredith's TH:

That was Hennessy in that paper bag. Oh, I would recognize the neck of a Hennessy bottle in a lineup. I like that girl. She's a class act.

Almost everybody had a glass of Hennessy, Meredith leading the charge. The girls were in the conference room, helping Lauren get ready. Kelly was curling her hair and waxing romantic about her night.

Oh my gosh, you're gonna have the best time. Everyone's gonna be in gowns, you're gonna look gorgeous, you and Jim are seriously gonna look like a Disney couple when I'm done with you. – She announced happily.

Ok, bluebird, take it easy. – Lauren joked. – I just wanna look hallway decent.

No, but seriously, get up! – Kelly insisted. Lauren got up and fluffed her dress reluctantly as she did, half of her makeup still not done and a curling iron still in her hair. – Jim, get in here. – Kelly beckoned him over from the door frame he was leaning on.

He came up to Lauren, really enjoying her half exasperated, half mortified expression. He put an arm around her waist and tilted his head to look at her. She was breathing fire.

Don't they look like a fairytale couple? – Kelly beamed.

I mean, if he brushed his hair and she told her face to smile, yeah. – Hannah answered and Meredith and Phyllis laughed. Pam wore a polite smile that didn't reach her eyes. Jim kissed Lauren's cheek and was off to finish some work. – But why aren't you drinking your…juice? – Hannah made quotation marks with her fingers. – You should pre-game, you're having cocktails.

I don't need to pre-game, I'm not gonna be drinking much there, it's a serious thing. – Lauren answered.

It is? I thought it was just some casual thing. – Pam joined in. she had noticed the excited looks between her and Jim all day.

Er, yeah. It is, but still, there's corporate people there, you don't wanna leave a bad impression. – She made a quick save.

* * *

Lauren's hair and makeup were done and she really did look professional. For all of Kelly's bullshit, she knew her way around hair and skin care.

It was almost the end of the work day. The Hennessy was gone, Meredith was smiling blissfully and Jim and Lauren were getting ready to leave.

No, wait, lemme get a picture! – Kelly came stumbling out of the annex. – You look gorgeous!

Jim and Lauren sighed and wrapped their arms around the other's waist. Kelly took aimed the camera at them and Lauren was pretty sure she took a picture of Michael's office behind them. – Now kiss! – Kelly ordered. The pair sighed, but knew it was easier to put on a bit of a show than to reason with a drunk and more obnoxious than usual Kelly. They pecked and Kelly protested. – No, a real kiss! That's how you would kiss your sister, Jim!

I can tell you for a fact that's not true. – He fired back. Lauren got on her toes, grabbed the back of his neck and then got back to standing normally, pulling him down into a more serious kiss. The women whooped and aw'd and cheered and as soon as the flash went off, Lauren broke off the kiss and wiped the lipstick off Jim's face. She was putting her coat back and thanking Kelly while he hugged her from behind and kissed her neck. – Look, sweetie, thank you, but we really got to go.

Pam had returned from the restroom and wanted to get back to her seat, but Jim, swaying and nuzzling Lauren, was in her way. As soon he noticed her, he instinctively wiped his lips to make sure no lipstick was there and stepped away from Lauren, self-conscious.

Have fun. – Pam murmured as she got back to reception.

Thanks, you too. See you tomorrow, guys. – Lauren waved to the office and took Jim by the hand, leading him out.

* * *

Aww, you still get embarrassed around Pam. – Lauren brought up in the car on the way to David Wallace's house.

What? – Jim asked, playing dumb.

Right then, at the office. You jumped back when you saw her like you'd been burned. – Lauren answered calmly.

Jim sighed. – I don't know what it is. We just don't talk as much as we used to, it always feels weird to see _her_ see _us_.

Why? You think she has a problem with it? – Lauren asked earnestly.

I'm not sure. I mean, I tell her I kind of have a crush on her, then I leave, then she and Roy split, I come back with a girlfriend and we aren't as friendly anymore. It's just a…strange situation we're in. I really don't feel comfortable around her. – He finished honestly.

And if I weren't in the picture? What do you think it would be like then? – She had a morbid way about her, asking twisted questions that he didn't know how to answer.

You _are_ in the picture. You are _most_ of the picture. It doesn't matter what would be happening otherwise. – Jim was staunch.

Lauren smiled. – Alright. I'll drop it, but my advice it to try to work it out.

Sure. – Jim said, not convinced. – So do you know any of the people who are gonna be there? I think it's mostly Stamford and New York guys.

Yeah, I think I do. I'm just glad Andy isn't there, last time there were cocktails like this, he asked me to come and then told everyone how I was all desperately in love with him or whatever. – They both laughed. – I mean, everybody could see he was talking out his ass, but still.

Oh, man. Imagine being there with a new guy and the ex boyfriend is there. Ouch. – Jim laughed and Lauren suddenly had a game plan. To distract him from his nerves a little bit and just to get his ass, she decided to pretend she had dated a bunch of guys there.

Oh, actually, now that you mention it… - She said, but then shook her head. – Oh, no, yeah, Josh won't be there. It's okay.

Hm? You uh, dated Josh? – Jim was surprised.

Um, yeah. For a little bit when I first started working. But we didn't want the whole office to get wind of it, it was over soon.

Didn't know that. – Jim said, maintaining a neutral face, but his voice was a little choked.

* * *

So the merger went smoothly? – A short heavy guy named Trent asked Michael. He and Dwight had arrived hours before. He was now standing next to Jan and Dwight was hovering nearby. Jim and Lauren had just arrived, got drinks and were chatting with Michael and Jan before Trent showed up.

It did. Like butter. – Michael said in a comical voice that was entirely out of place. - Mike Myers, SNL. – He clarified when no one laughed. - You should ask Lauren, she was one of them.

There are two of us left. – She answered simply. Trent had occasionally visited the office before it closed, there was no use beating around the bush with him. - I'm one. Everybody else was either fired or quit. Except for one. He's in anger management.

Ah, Andrew? – He asked, remembering him and Lauren nodded.

Yeah, but you're great now, right? We're all great, aren't we, Jan? – Michael asked, trying to hold Jan's hand.

We're good. – She almost whispered, uncomfortable and trying to weasel out of his grip. He leaned in awkwardly, trying to incite some PDA and encountered a hard pass.

Can I get anyone anything? – The lady of the house, Wallace's wife, offered.

I could go for an appeteaser. – Michael said and people weren't sure if he was joking or straight up got that wrong. Jan was getting progressively more mortified.

Deciding to be a team player and help Jan, as well as put her best foot forward for Jim, Lauren joined the conversation. – Your house is absolutely beautiful, Rachel. – She smiled warmly.

Thank you. – She answered humbly, but honestly. Lauren could be a delight when she tried.

What's the square footage? – Asked Dwight, who was hovering around, behind their backs. David and Rachel were visibly unnerved by this.

Wow. – Jim muttered, not able to stop himself, but Lauren just squeezed his hand, in agreement and support.

About 5000. – David was too polite not to answer, but didn't appreciate the question.

Does that include the garage? – Dwight asked, focusing his unblinking stare on the man.

Wow! – Jim repeated, widening his eyes at Lauren and taking a drink. She returned the stare and looked over at Jan, whose eyes were searching for a waiter with some drinks.

Dwight, that is not appropriate. – Michael chimed in.

I don't know. – David was relieved that it looked like the conversation was drawing to a close.

It's a common question. – Dwight was not letting up.

David, - Michael continued in a polite tone, clearly thinking his next question was suave and cultured. – how much did this house cost?

Jim choked on his drink and doubled over. Lauren caught his arm and excused them, more than happy to be ending this exchange. Jan just looked ahead, as if not acknowledging the embarrassment would make it go away.

* * *

Hey, you see that guy behind you in the blue blazer with his back against the wall? – Lauren said, looking a little embarrassed once Jim's coughing fit was over and they talked about Dwight's antics.

Jim turned subtly. It was an average looking guy, eating an hor d'oeuvre – Yeeep.

That's Drake. Just so you know, I don't wanna be weird or anything, but, um, we used to date. – Her eyes shifted a little uncomfortably.

Oh. – Jim wasn't thrilled about the news. - Ok, cool, thanks for telling me.

And it didn't end well. – Lauren added, clarifying.

Jim looked at the camera for a moment. - Gotcha. Alright. – He was looking down, thinking of what to do.

Dwight was pestering David and Rachel, keeping them away from their guests. He was currently testing their banisters by shaking them and climbing on them. Michael and Jan had disappeared.

* * *

Lauren was approached by one of her old coworkers and his wife. He was a salesman and he had worked with Hannah, he was asking about their move. He told her and Jim how he transferred to New York with his wife just before the merger and how great of a decision that was.

It was nice meeting you guys, thank you. – Jim said bye to them when they were waved over by their boss. He and Lauren were sitting on a couch, his hand resting on her thigh.

Well, if you're wondering why his wife was staring daggers at me, - Lauren sighed and rolled her eyes – it's because I kinda saw him for a little bit when they were separated.

Oh. – Jim was frozen for a second.- Didn't notice. – He said barely audibly.

Really? I thought it was so obvious. – Lauren scrunched up her nose. - Good, I mean, I'm glad it didn't make you uncomfortable.

No, it was…before I knew you, so… it's fine. – He choked out, looking horrified.

Jan came into the room, looking disheveled and Michael soon followed with a satisfied glow around him.

Ugh. – Jim groaned and looked at Lauren who at same time whispered. - Eww.

I think I'm definitely gonna go and just apologize to Rachel for the whole of Scranton. – Lauren made a mental note out loud.

Definitely. – Jim agreed.

* * *

Lauren was adjusting Trent's tie and laughing at something with him. Having just finished talking to the Director of Sales from New York, Jim leaned against the door frame and watched them. His expression turned from casual to flabbergasted and a little nauseated seeing them. While he knew Lauren well enough to see she wasn't the cheating type, tonight had made him insecure and paranoid. Being around the office and having Lauren be accommodating enough to almost never mention other men, a part of him had taken other men out of the equation. Seeing her dressed up and the way everyone was looking at her and hearing about her exes really brought a lot of feelings up.

David had leaned on the other end of the sliding doors and brought him out of his feverish reverie.

God, I hate these parties. – He sighed. - You wanna sneak out back and shoot some hoops?

Jim slowly turned and gave him look of a man who was stranded on a desert island and someone just sailed by on a galley and offered him a ride.

David nodded, knowing exactly how he felt. – Meet me outside in two minutes.

Jim made his way over to Lauren confidently, happy to share the news with her and also to break the pair up.

* * *

So you stay here and have fun cause I'm gonna go out back and shoot hoops with David Wallace. – He explained contentedly when they were alone.

Okay! – She liked his enthusiasm. – Oh, um, don't mention that you and I are dating, - She advised – cause I think he might still have feelings for me.

Wallace? – Jim asked desperately. – What the hell, have you dated like every guy here? – He looked like his head was spinning. Lauren made a mental note of his jealousy being the kind that makes him desperate and crestfallen. It was a funny little discovery.

She just stared at him till her chin started quivering. He looked up like in a cartoon where a lollipop appears above his head and says _sucker_. Lauren finally broke and laughed.

Wow, okay. – He looked over head, feeling stupid and relieved. - You got me.

I so got you. – She wrapped her arms around his chest reassuringly.

So none of them? – He still asked, glancing at her sideways.

Of course not. – It was amusing to still see that latent jealousy. – I mean, you're kind of, like…my first. – She ended earnestly.

His face dropped. – Really?

My god, it's so easy, it's not even fun. – She shoved his shoulder playfully.

Okay. – He turned to meet Wallace, a little frustrated and exhausted from being pranked the whole night. However, the cameras caught him smiling when his back was turned.

Hey, Jan. – Lauren smiled as Jan approached.

Not too good. – She looked away and downed her drink. Lauren saw Michael looking like a sad child in a corner, waving to her and Jan trying to ignore him.

* * *

What's with Jan and Michael? – David asked as he passed the ball to Jim.

I don't know. Where to begin? – He asked meaningfully as he took his shot and they both laughed.

Just then, Dwight dropped a part of the chimney from the roof. Apparently, his inspection of the house was drawing to a close. He was kicking the sides of the chimney as Jim and David looked up.

My ball. – Jim announced, signaling to David it was best to just let the Dwight craziness run its course.

* * *

Later, in the car, going back home, Jim and Lauren were going over the evening.

We just talked, I told him about Scranton and what I do there. I think he liked me. He said he wants to pass on the details about the job to me. – Jim told her about his game with Wallace.

Oh, honey, that is so great. – She rubbed his shoulder. – I'm sorry if I drove you a little crazy tonight, but at least you got some awesome news.

It's my own fault for falling for it. – He took her hand and brought it to his lips. Instead of kissing it, he bit her finger.

So when is the interview? – She asked.

I don't know exactly. But soon.

* * *

Tomorrow morning, Kelly, Meredith and Hannah were hung over. Hannah was telling Lauren what happened.

We went out to the same bar, the three of us drank and whatever. It was okay, but so not worth the hangover. Oh, by the way, Pam and Roy apparently had a fight. He trashed the bar. – She added.

Really? Shit. – Just then, Lauren heard the office door open and decided to go back to her desk, under the semblance of working.

It wasn't Michael, however, it was Roy. Looking furious.

Hey, Halpert! – He yelled and made his over towards Jim.

Instinctively, Lauren did the same. There was an unusual anxious feeling in her, though. Intellectually, she knew exactly what her best play was to defend herself or Jim against an attacker. But Roy was so much bigger than her and his fury made him appear even more massive.

Jim and Pam shared a look as soon as Roy angrily yelled his name. Looks were exchanged in every permutation between the foursome before Roy lost it and took a step towards Jim. Seeing him approach, Jim pushed Lauren aside and braced himself to take the punch as Pam screamed, but Dwight had pulled out his pepper spray and sprayed both Roy and himself in the process. All of five of them were caught in the awful fumes, choking, eyes watering, but only Roy was incapacitated.

* * *

So I couldn't update or access my stats for a few days, hopefully by now everyone is caught up :) What do you think? Next chapter is up soon.


	20. The Letter

Dwight, Lauren, Jim and Pam were each called into the conference room to do TH segments after security had been in and taken Roy away.

Dwight's TH:

Every day, for eight years, I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees. And every day, for eight years, people have laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now? – Dwight asked the camera, constantly blinking and sending more tears down his already soaked cheeks.

Pam's TH:

I really don't wanna talk about it. I don't mean to be rude, but I just… I don't wanna comment on what happened. It sucked! – She finally said, but the corners of her mouth went the tiniest bit up.

Jim's TH:

I guess, all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray. Not the nunchucks or the throwing stars.

Lauren's TH:

This is…a strange development. Thankfully, everyone is okay, but uh… why would Roy do that?

* * *

Toby was interviewing everyone who was involved and who witnessed what happened. Jan called to see what was going on and he and Michael had a conference call with her. Darryl was sure to ask for a raise now that Roy was fired and Michael was not ready to give it to him.

He Wikipedia'd ways to assert dominance and called Jim into his office to practice on him.

* * *

After lunch, Jim had prepared a small gift for Dwight as thanks. Lauren knew his plan and, every now and again, would turn to see it he had finally gotten the balls to do it. Every time she did, though, she caught Pam gazing longingly at him. Or absent mindedly. The same old rage was building in her again.

It took Jim a while to mentally prepare for the deluge of criticism Dwight was sure to fire his way or the praise he would bestow upon himself, but Jim finally bit the bullet and looked at him. – Hey, man, I never got a chance to thank you. For stopping Roy. – He added after Dwight gave him a strange look. – Thank you.

Thank you not necessary and thus not accepted. I saw someone breaking the law and I interceded. – He explained and got back to work.

Ok. – Jim smirked to himself, happy to have gotten off without hearing a soliloquy by Dwight. – Got you something. – He held up a box wrapped in blue paper.

Don't want it. – he answered simply.

You don't even know what it is. – Jim threw back.

Don't want it. Won't open it. Don't need it. Won't take it. Citizens do not accept prizes for being citizens. – He stared sternly at Jim until he was convinced Dwight was serious, then got back to work.

Jim's TH:

It was a little glass display case for his bobble head. That would have made us even, I think. He saves my life, I get him a box for his desk toy. Even Stevens.

* * *

Pam had finished with her recounting of the story and was having some chamomile tea that Kelly had made for her when Jim, having finished his meeting with Toby very quickly, came in and examined the vending machine.

Sorry I almost got you killed. – She squinted uncomfortably up at him.

Yeah. – Jim laughed to himself humorlessly. - That was nuts. – He added, hoping that would be the end of it.

He could have broken your nose or something. – Pam was thinking out loud. – Crazy. – She muttered after a pause.

Jim continued getting what he wanted from the machine in silence.

It's just so stupid. Getting back with Roy and everything. – Pam continued, glancing up at him for a reaction. – I mean, what was I thinking, right?

Jim tapped his fingers on top of the machine, breathing anger out and then breathing anger back in. – No, you guys really seem to have a strong connection. – He said, not managing to keep a bit of sarcasm out of his voice.

Not anymore. It's uh… it's completely over now. – She said meaningfully, hoping he would turn to look at her.

Jim got his snack out and smiled sardonically. – We'll see. – He answered with sarcastic cheer. – I'm sure you guys will…find your way to one another someday. – He stopped at the door and finally gave her a direct look.

Jim. – She stopped him. – I am. Really. Sorry.

She looked she wanted to continue, but he shook it off. – Oh, yeah, don't worry about it.

* * *

Angela was going from person to person, wanting to hear about what happened. It was Lauren's turn apparently.

So Lauren, how do you feel that Roy tried to kick your boyfriend's ass over another woman? – Kevin asked. Say what you will about him, he had a way of summarizing a situation into its most hurtful iteration.

I feel great, Kevin. Thank you. For your concern. – She answered though her teeth.

You must have been scared out of your mind. – Stanley said. He was the first one to say that and it was clear he paid very little attention to what happened around the office. Most people asked Jim if his girlfriend was going to return the favor and kick Roy's ass.

Well, uh, it happened to fast I didn't really have time to feel scared. – She smiled at him politely.

What happened? exactly? I wasn't here, sorry, I haven't heard the whole story. – Angela asked, playing casual. Knowing why she had asked, Lauren told a version that really made Dwight look really good.

* * *

Lauren had just got off the phone with Joe who was getting on a plane to New York. He'd be in Stamford tomorrow and, after hearing what happened today, offered to immediately drive out to Scranton. Lauren assured him their previous plan of his coming by a few days later would still work best, they had already booked the studio and made arrangements. Jim entered the kitchen and unloaded his frustrations about Dwight not accepting his present or thanks or any form of payment. Most recently it was a beer or lunch and then a diploma with a teddy bear in the corner which Jim hoped he wouldn't notice. He did.

It's like when I wanna screw with him, he never sees it coming. But now, I wanna be nice to him and actually give him something and he's like an eel. I just can't grab onto him. – He was baffled at this and chewed on some baby carrots. – It's infuriating.

Maybe you just feel guilty about all the pranks now. – Lauren offered flatly.

Well. – He didn't like hearing this. – Yes. That probably exactly what it is. - He smiled rolling his eyes at himself. Lauren was never going to soothe him when he's wrong, but being so cold and flat, he felt he had to continue talking and criticizing himself to get a response and it felt awful. - So what do I do?

Hmm, I dunno. Maybe don't mess around with innocent people. Or take your punishment like a man. Or admit that he's a better man. Or maybe think about your interview. And your girlfriend. – Lauren rattled off, shrugged and left the kitchen.

Ouch. - Jim turned to the cameras, but eventually dropped his eyes and shuffled out.

* * *

Hannah called Lauren's extension. – Ugh, this day is the worst.

Tell me about it. – Lauren murmured.

All day, chipmunk has been complaining how big eyes doesn't stand up for her and Angela asked five people about what happened. I'm gonna blow my brains out.

Lauren looked up at Angela, who was currently working on Creed. – Well, I can tell you that her bitchiness had moved on to the felon. – She used their nicknames and spoke freely even though they were at her desk. – Plus, I think I'll be working late.

Hannah gave a prolonged groan. – You want me to wait for you? – She offered in earnest.

Yeah. We'll get drinks after work, okay? – Lauren offered leverage.

Sure. You're buying. – Hannah answered.

Mh hm. Gotta go. – Lauren said and hung up as she saw Pam headed into the kitchen to make some coffee. She followed.

* * *

Hey, we need to talk. About today. – Lauren announced.

Pam spent the whole day kind of in a trance, shocked, but now she was milking the situation and tried to avoid talking to Lauren. – Actually, I'm kind of upset, it's not the best time to…

Oh, is it not the best time? – Lauren repeated, looking ready to knock her out. – Sit the - She checked herself. - Sit down. We're doing this.

Pam didn't appreciate the tone and set her mug down, annoyed. – What do you want to know? – She asked in an exhausted tone.

What made Roy act that way? More to the point, what did you tell him last night? – Before Pam could ask how she knew, Lauren explained. – Hannah told me he was upset.

He went _crazy_. – Pam corrected. – And I didn't have anyone to protect me the way Jim did today. - She was making excuses. - You, I mean. – She added.

I could have taken that animal down myself, Pam. I don't sit around waiting for someone to protect me. – Lauren spat. Pam was going to protest, but Lauren pressed. – Tell me. What you told him.

Pam was quiet for a moment, sizing Lauren up. There was s shadow of a smirk before she spoke. – I told Roy something I should have told him as soon as it happened. That Jim confessed his feelings to me and kissed me before he left.

No reaction came from Lauren. She honestly felt numb in that moment, how when you fall and break your arm, the adrenaline keeps you from feeling it. It's like having your worst fears confirmed is cauterization in itself. She looked Pam up and down and tried to read her face, see if she showed any emotion towards Jim. She just looked serious and a little hostile.

Ok. – Lauren said and went out.

* * *

Since work had piled up and Lauren wanted to be free when Joe visited, she decided to bring some folders home and transfer some files on a flash drive, but had forgotten hers in a different purse. She and Hannah were pretty much the only people left in the building at that time. She decided to call Jim to see if he had a spare one. He told her to look in his drawer.

For a man who cared quite little about his job, you would expect his drawer to be almost empty. No. It was filled with papers, notes, folders, wrappers, prank paraphernalia, an old cellphone… She had to rummage through a lot of stuff and take out most of it to be able to spot a small flash drive. Finally, at the bottom of the drawer, with loose paperclips, broken scissors, working scissors, sunglasses and old Post-it notes, there was it was. However, what caught her attention was a pristine white envelope with _Pam_ written on it. Before she knew it, she had taken it out, put it in her pocket with the flash drive and put the rest of the stuff back.

Let's get out of here. – She told Hannah, her hands shaking.

What's wrong? – She asked immediately, hearing her tone.

I am just so fucking done with this day. – She grabbed the sides of her head and fumed as Hannah got ready.

* * *

So, the next chapter will take a turn for the worse. Do we want subdued anger or out and out bitchiness and hostility? I've been keeping it relatively restrained, I guess it might be time for shit to hit the fan :)


	21. Self Defense, Part 1

Today was the big day. Joe had arrived and Lauren gave him her and Hannah's address. She hadn't wanted to talk to Jim about what happened at the office with Roy that day. She told him she didn't want to think about it and revisit it, but she was actually saving all her anger for one glorious moment.

* * *

She spent the few days since the incident mostly at home, getting it sparkly and gorgeous for when Joe arrived. Jim had found out last night that Hannah would be staying with Danny while Joe was in town.

Isn't the place big enough for all three? – Jim asked Lauren, who was hardly paying any attention to him. She was keeping her eyes on the street, looking out for Joe's car, like a kid waiting for Santa to land on the roof. Jim had insisted to be there when Joe arrived, ostensibly because they had spent so little time together the past few days.

It is. But I wanted privacy for us. – Lauren answered straight forwardly, not bothering to be kind or tactful. – It had been so long since we properly hung out. – She said mostly to herself.

Jim just stared ahead and felt horribly so out of place. He really wished they had talked about what had happened.

Get out here, you sexy bitch! – A deep male voice bellowed from the street. Lauren squealed and bolted towards the door. When Jim came out, Joe had her in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, spinning. He put her down and heartily shook Jim's hand.

Hey, man, it's good to meet you. – He smiled a wide manly smile, the kind a father or an avuncular boss might give.

Jim was prepared to be uncomfortable and defensive, but Joe had a way of putting people at ease. They shook and went back inside. They had lunch and coffee and talked. It was fun. Jim got to know Joe a little and heard some stories about Lauren. Like when she got drunk and broke up a couple at a party because they were playing bad music all night. Or how Joe took her camping once and she couldn't fall asleep against the noise of the nature around them and she cried till the sun came up and they had to cut the trip short.

* * *

After that, Jim left so that Joe could get settled in. He asked them if they wanted to get a group together and go out, but Lauren laid out the plan – Joe was surely tired, so he would rest tonight, then they would hit the gym tomorrow morning, go around town with Hannah in the afternoon and then maybe they would be free tomorrow night. Jim felt pushed out, so he agreed without protest.

Shit, what did he do? – Joe asked once Jim had gone.

I'm pretty sure he's been lying to me for a good while. – Lauren answered, calm in a sinister way.

Alright, so what female game are you playing? - Joe asked in a derogatory way. A good aspect of their friendship was that they would point out to each other when the other one was acting crazy.

It's not a game. If I'm right, it's over. If I'm not, he still deserves to feel what it's like to be made to feel insecure all the fucking time. – She explained.

Whatever you say. – Joe let it go. – So what about Monday? Are you gonna help me teach? – He changed the topic, excited at the chance of sparring with her again.

I've been thinking about that… yeah. Yeah, absolutely. – She raised an excited eyebrow.

The weekend went by as planned. Sunday evening, so as not to raise too much suspicion, Lauren agreed to go out with Jim. Hannah, Danny, Joe, Lauren, Jim and some of his drinking buddies were out. The boys mostly wanted to hear about what Joe does and how it works. He was the star of the evening, with men eyeing him with a mix of envy and admiration, which had struck Jim particularly hard. The women looked at him ferociously seductively and he was hit on a couple of times, something unheard of in Scranton.

* * *

It was Monday and, after lunch, everybody filed out, got into the cars, drove off to the sports center, filed into the changing rooms and came into the big studio where Joe was waiting. He was tall and erect, hands behind his back. But, despite his overpowering physicality, there was something warm and welcoming about him.

Hello, everyone. I'm Joe Price, it's good to be here with you today. – He smiled and took a step forward. – Your coworker Lauren will be assisting me and demonstrating for you. And over the next few days, we will learn about the basic and most effective ways to defend yourself and keep yourself safe. Our focus today are the ladies. And while some of what we will talk about also goes for men, these are the essential truths you need to know. If you fight, you have to fight smart. Lauren and I will begin by giving you a little presentation. We need somebody to hold this pad. – Joe heaved up a large boxing pad and Jim immediately stepped forward. He was surprised at how heavy it was.

Hold it up. – Joe told him. – Now, Lauren will demonstrate a right hook. Keep in mind that she is a tall, strong woman who trains regularly.

Lauren stepped up to Jim, who smiled at her. She did not return the smile. She demonstrated the correct stance and the mechanics of throwing a punch while Joe explained what she did. She took a swing, there was a short crisp sound that resonated in the room as she connected and Jim torso shook a little as it absorbed the force.

Now, I will demonstrate what a punch can look like. – Joe announced and switched places with Lauren. He gave Jim a bright smile. Jim gulped in return. – Brace yourself. Put your feet apart, squat a little. – Joe told him. There was a loud deep sound that thundered through the room as Joe connected and Jim's torso was under so much stress he reeled and took a step back to regain balance. People gasped around the room.

This was to show you as girls, your strength usually isn't your upper body. – Lauren explained. – Your legs, however, are naturally strong. They carry you around all day. You might bench a hundred pounds for a few moments, but your legs carry… - She eyed Pam. – Like, 140 pounds for hours. – Pam's jaw dropped at the outrageous overestimation of her weight and Hannah snorted and tried to play it off.

Joe's eyes darted from Angela to Phyllis and he concluded. – Er, yeah. On average. What are you packin' these days, hon? 135? - He quipped, grabbing her hips and shaking them a little.

A lean 130, thank you very much. - Lauren beamed at him.

Lean? I don't know, that desk job is making you mushy in the middle. - He pinched her lower abdomen. Most of the girls, bar Hannah, were shocked that a man would speak like that to a woman, but seeing Lauren laugh and be unperturbed about it, the outraged chatter subsided. Joe caught Jim's dark expression and had to remind himself not to treat Lauren how he usually would. - We'll get back to that after we cover some basics. First we have to un-teach you some things you might have seen. Lauren, Jim, I'll need you to roleplay, please. – He said.

Lauren pressed her back against the wall and explained to Jim what he would need to do. He leaned one hand against the wall, blocking her way and pretended he was hitting on her at a party.

Now. What you might have seen is this. – Joe gave Lauren the cue. She brought her arm over Jim's so that it broke contact with the wall and bent and then wrapped under it to push his shoulder down. She then added a knee kick and stopped inches from his face.

His eyes were firmly shut. – You didn't say that would happen.

You were supposed to keep a firm grip on the wall. Not yield to what I was doing. – She chastised sternly, not worried about humiliating him in front of everybody.

Yeah, Jim, you gotta do it for real. Otherwise, it's useless what we're learning here. - Joe added, trying to take some of the sting off Lauren's tone. Lauren took her arms off Jim in one quick movement and he staggered a bit because of the unnatural position he was left in.

Joe. – Lauren motioned him over, ignoring Jim's worried eyes searching for her. Joe came over and assumed the same position. They did the same thing and there was real struggle; quick energetic moves, the deep muffled sounds of flesh hitting flesh, grunts. But Joe only put up half a fight and Lauren got him down.

See, - Joe's voice was muffled, as he was speaking while bent over and with stress on his arm and shoulder. – We're about the same height and let's say I'm not expecting it and she's quick… she could bring me down. But now what? As soon as she lets me go, I could chase her down and hurt her. – He explained.

Also, it works far less well if you have a stark height and strength difference. Why don't we have… - Lauren pretended to contemplate. – Jim and Pam?

They glanced at each other and didn't move.

Come on, you guys, we haven't got all day. – Lauren warned and other people in the room got impatient as well. Pam made her way to the wall, looking down and stood with her hands joined in what would be her lap. Without repeating herself, Lauren caught Jim's shirt and dragged him over. She positioned his hand on the wall and explained what to do.

So, Jim, you're at a party. You see Pam. She's wearing her… - she looked Pam up and down scornfully. – Best tracksuit. You think she looks _ravishing._ – She gushed, throwing his old words in his face. – Everybody hearing this? _Jim_ is _taken_ by _Pam_. – She repeated, ostensibly for the rest of the room. Joe and Hannah exchanged looks. – But you're not sure what she's thinking. You come over. You give her your best smirk. Maybe you push into her a little. – She arched his back and tried to get him to press his body up against Pam's.

What are you… this is really uncomfortable! – Pam protested and tried to wiggle out. Lauren slammed her hand on the wall so we caught in between her and Jim.

It's supposed to be. You wouldn't defend yourself against somebody you liked. – Lauren leaned in and stared hard into her scared face till she leaned back. – You try to make him leave, but he won't. So you break the grip. Go. – Lauren stepped back. Pam slowly repeated the move Lauren had taught them and Jim yielded to it like a gummy worm.

You're just hell bent on wasting everybody's time today? – Lauren asked, visibly aggravated. She waved Joe over and gabbed Jim's hand to pull him out the way. Joe assumed the position, towering over Pam, with his broad shoulders and a stance bursting with potential energy and she looked panicked.

Hey, no. – Jim took a step closer. – Ok, let me try again. – He looked at Lauren for permission.

Ok. – She shrugged. They repeated everything, only Jim remained unmoving at Pam's first attempt to bend his arm. She tried again and still he was up. She smiled, getting into it and keeping eye contact with him. He was smiling at her and challenging her with his eyes. She finally gathered all the strength she had and even jumped up a little to bring him down. This time, she managed to get her arm in and break off his hand from the wall, but she couldn't bend him down. There were a few comments and scattered laughs around the room.

So there you have it. – Joe concluded the struggle. – In a more realistic fight when the attacker is bigger and he's not letting up, you have far less of a chance of subduing him.

* * *

People split into pairs and a good while was spent making sure everyone did everything right. Kelly and Ryan mostly flirted against the wall and it was hard work getting them to focus. Angela and Dwight wouldn't pair up with anybody else, but were tense and avoided any contact in front of their coworkers (though seeing Dwight subdue Joe clearly floated her boat). Hannah was paired up with Darryl and counted herself lucky for avoiding Toby, who was supposed to be paired with Phyllis. He joined Stanley, who had tapped out even before the class started and was still reading usual newspaper. Eventually, the drill devolved into warehouse guys tumbling around, grabbing each other in clumsy choke holds and reenacting martial arts movies.

Alright, now that everyone's had a turn and seen what not to do, let us show you something you could use. – Joe announced and the noise began to die away. He and Lauren went back to one.

So, if somebody is making you uncomfortable and they won't leave, a simple and effective thing to do to give yourself a chance to escape is this. – He leaned his body into Lauren's and she dug her index and middle finger into his windpipe, which made him reel back and double over. – See that? – He asked the room, voice hoarse and eyes watering a little. – This soft bit here, where your collarbones meet is very sensitive. You can dig your fingers in there and try to hook it. It will make the attacker stagger back. It's painful, it restricts your breathing and your natural reaction is to pull back and regroup.

Everybody split into pairs again; each person first tried to choke themselves a little, to feel how it was. Then the women choked the men and vice versa. People were exchanging partners, working with different heights and weights, getting more energetic and forceful. It was an exciting moment, where they all felt strong and confident and brave and completely safe.

This next one is gonna be a real motherfucker. - Joe whispered to Lauren forebodingly, referring to the following demonstration. - You want me to do it with Hannah?

Uh uh. - She shook her head with an unfocused gaze. Joe hadn't seen her this mad in years.

Alright, but you gotta promise me to keep it cool. - He took her by the upper arm and turned to face him. - It wouldn't be fair to go fucking anybody up in here, right? - He spoke as if to a petulant child.

Right. - She answered, like she was reciting a lesson.

Ok, everyone, good job! - Joe's encouraging, but authoritative voice cut through the room. - Back to one. Here's the last thing we'll be learning today. - He announced and Lauren joined him. - If you would please, make a semi-circle, sit down and observe us, things are about to get a little more complicated.


	22. Self Defense, Part 2

Everybody in the room huddled together, orbiting around Joe and Lauren. Jim made a bit of a show of not sitting next to Pam as she settled next to Angela. He moved and plopped down next to Hannah, who was secretly a little happy he did. She had an idea of which scenario was next and the sadistic part of her that was protective of Lauren looked forward to feeling him squirm over the next couple of minutes.

Okay, we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, - Joe started – but the following scenario is defense against attempted rape. – He announced and the semi-circle filled with gasps and comments expressing shock and worry and disgust. – I know. I know. – Joe reassured the shaken women with a kind and solemn tone that was liable to make them swoon. – But should you ever find yourself in any similar scenario, and our most fervent hope is that you will not, we want to make sure that you leave the studio today equipped with the skills to protect yourselves. – His eyes glided from one end of the semi-circle to the other, making warm and encouraging eye contact with every lady along the way, until they all felt he made sense and the mood in the room shifted to accepting of what was to follow.

Lauren lay on her back with her knees bent and heels pulled up to her bottom. Joe spread her legs and moved to position himself. Hannah felt Jim's upper body jerk up, as he was about to stand up and protest.

This is where it gets awkward teaching it. – Joe says and stops him for the time being. – I, and later on you, when you practice, need to come in close. Movies and popular media show an inaccurate image of sex and rape, so it might look like this. – Joe starts and leans over Lauren, his knees about two inches from her bottom and her knees at his sides. – This is simply not how it happens in real life. An assailant will want you close. He'll want to wrap you around him and leave no room for you to escape, it's instinctive. So this is what it would be like. – He grabs her hips with his oafish hands, Jim notes, and pulls her in, so her hair drags behind, her legs wrap around his hips and her center thumps dully against his groin. Jim swallows hard and the bile lands in his stomach, angry and swirling, making him nauseated. Lauren doesn't notice anything. She's too busy smiling up at Joe, who is still explaining why this position is important and why they mustn't be embarrassed to do it. The rough way he pulled her in reminded her of their relationship and exactly why she had been attracted to him way back when. He was all man and, though strong and…tenacious, he knew his way around the female anatomy. The smile did nothing to abate the poison coursing through Jim.

I need to-, Lauren, we need to-, Get up, please, I need to talk to you. – Jim stuttered as he rushed up to his feet and everyone looked from him to Lauren and exchanged glances with the person sitting next to them.

Jim, please, don't be uncomf- Joe started, but Jim shot a hand up, silencing him. Seeing he was serious, Lauren shuffled from under Joe and sighed getting up to her feet. The room was deadly silent and every one of their steps reverberated through it. They walked in agonized silence for what seemed forever, trying to find a place where their voices and inevitable hushed argument wouldn't carry to all those ears pricked up around the room. To distract them and not to waste time, Joe asked Hannah to demonstrate with him.

* * *

Finally, Jim and Lauren reached the door and stepped out into the less echo-y hallway.

Listen, I can't quite take that back there. I can't look at you writhing under your ex, I'm sorry. – Jim blurted out, flustered.

We are giving instructions, Jim. – Lauren deadpanned.

She might have continued, but Jim the words were about to burst out of his pores if he didn't speak. – Okay, I know, but I can't help it, it's driving me crazy. I just want to knock him out.

I wouldn't recommend trying that. – Lauren cocked a mocking eyebrow at Jim's prospects in that scenario. His gaze dropped, a little hurt and embarrassed. It stung to hear that. She knew it would.

And it's not just today. – Jim let her remark go and pressed on. – Ever since he arrived, you've been in this schoolgirl mood. The little that I've seen of you these past few days. – He added, accusingly. – All I've seen is you fawning over him and I'm about to go out of my mind.

 _There we are_ , Lauren thought, as she calmly inhaled and got ready to deliver her answer. – I've never asked you change your behavior towards Pam. I've watched you talk, exchange little in-jokes that are clearly delicious to you both, flirt – whether you're aware of it or not, touch, glance… I've let her get to know me, know about our relationship and I've never asked you change anything. Even today, I let you pair up together. The only thing I ask in return is the same courtesy from you. I've told you this. – She finished and gave him a look with no tenderness or possibility of debate. That was her one condition, he remembered. He was wary even then. But feeling like they were still in the honeymoon period of their relationship, he wanted to convince himself that this threat he felt would never materialize.

You did. – He relented, looking past her shoulder. Different emotions painted his face, from sadness, reluctance to go back in and let the woman he loved be manhandled, a flash of anger or jealousy, Lauren couldn't quite decipher. Although she was bathed in rage these couple of days, the part of her that was in love with him empathized with this unpleasant mix and, in spite of herself, the knuckle of her index finger grazed up and down his abdomen, in support and coaxing him back in. It seemed that was all the reassurance he needed, as the touch brought him back into the moment and he tangled his fingers into her hair and smothered her in a kiss. Although she hated to admit it, the bit of manhandling Joe performed on her got her juiced flowing and this urgent kiss, and Jim's body snaking up against hers, pressing her into the smooth, cool wall, made her ravenous. If this were any other day, even if there were just a fewer people from the office within earshot, she would take him behind whichever door available and fuck him senseless right now. But there was one of her dearest friends a few feet away, going hugely out of his way to do her a favor and a dozen of Jim's long term colleagues right behind the wall, and she was part of a cause she honestly cared a lot about. And, last, but not least – not by a long shot, there was a fear, a freezing splinter in her insides, that doubted Jim and was afraid of what the next few days might hold, and this fear made her stay away from him lately and made her gently pry his lips from hers. He wouldn't stop and leaned back in two more times as she ducked out and pushed his hair from his face, and later sliding her hands down his chest, gently pushed him away as well. He tossed his head back once he'd given up, breathless and eyes glazed over with lust. She made for the door, but he didn't miss the opportunity to press up against her as she did and breathe her in. Dammit, she cursed in her head, why was he so irresistible right now?

* * *

As they came back in, all eyes shot up to them and Joe and Hannah had stopped the demonstration.

I'm sorry everyone, I made this awkward. Please, proceed, I won't be disturbing you anymore. – Jim apologized earnestly and graciously and everyone seemed placated by this and they turned their attention back to Joe. Pam was still glancing sideways towards Jim and Lauren and she saw Jim's hand run down Lauren's arm and his fingers deftly entwine with hers, with the easiness of an often repeated show of affection. They sat and crossed their legs and looked at Joe.

We have shown them how to wiggle of out from under the assailant. – Joe filled them in, for Jim's sake. - Maybe you two could join us? Since you know the moves, Lauren. – He offered.

Jim looked at her emotionless face and shrugged. – Okay. – Lauren shrugged as well and moved next to Hannah. Jim stepped over her and knelt next to Joe, facing Lauren. She bent her knees and was about to get into position, when Jim's hands grabbed her hips and pulled her in. They both shuffled till all their parts aligned comfortably and shared a small smile.

So before you can wiggle out, you have to push the assailant back. – Joe continued where he left off. He towered over Hannah, hands on either side of her shoulders. He dove down and she put her arms out, locked them and pushed back against his shoulders. – Never. Forget. To lock. The arms. – He emphasized, pointing to Hannah's outstretched arms currently holding his weight and swaying him softly. He wiggled each shoulder, trying to get closer to her, but each time, he just swayed more to the left or right, never getting closer to her. – See how I can't reach her? Jim, Lauren, why don't you try? – He suggested and took his weight off Hannah's arms.

Jim leaned over Lauren, not quite sure of how to go about it. She placed his hand in the right position and told him bend down. He did, slowly, like she was Snow White and he was about to kiss her. – No. Fast. Hard. – She grabbed his upper arms and squeezed them, encouraging him not to be too gentle. He glanced sideways and gave her a quick devilish smirk before lunging at her with all his weight. She outstretched her arms and stopped him dead, midair, some wind knocked out of him. He tried getting closer several ways, but each time, she was tantalizingly out of reach and he was suspended above her, swaying and feeling oddly giddy and weightless because of it.

Because this is what happens if your arms are bent or if you buck. – Joe said and motioned over to Lauren. As if he'd pushed a button, Lauren's elbow turned 90 degrees and bent, giving way under Jim's weight. He wasn't prepared for this sudden loss of purchase, so he toppled on top of her and knocked the wind out of her. She gave out a strangled laugh from under him and he laughed as well. Soon the whole room was chuckling. Before he got up, he brushed his lips against the column of her neck and stroked her hair. It caught her off guard and she couldn't lie, it made her melt into a puddle.

Let's try that one again. – Joe stifled a laugh and prompted them to get back into position.

Jim sat back on his heels and was about to pull Lauren closer, but she locked her legs around his hips and pulled herself in. Having slept alone for the past few nights, the familiar feeling of her thighs wrapped around him made him gulp. He leaned over her again, putting less weight on her hands this time, to show the difference between locked and bent arms. Lauren basically did lifts with his body and he was impressed and felt like he was seeing a new side of her.

Next, it was time to wiggle out. Once you were sure the assailant couldn't reach you, you could move from under him. The move entailed keeping one foot and the opposite shoulder firmly on the ground as you pushed your hips out. You ended up in an L shape, with the foot that wasn't on the ground against the assailant's hip. Then, Hannah and Lauren grabbed Joe and Jim's elbows, keeping them in place, and put the other foot on their other hip. From here, Joe tried to barrel into Hannah, but only managed to push her around the floor, no longer able to make the unwanted physical contact. Jim did the same and chuckled a little at the frustration of trying to push into Lauren and being held at arm's, or rather leg's, length. Even though the class was about something very ugly and serious, there was element of play in it, in this safe place, with the woman he knew in the most intimate – and consensual – way.

Finally, Joe explained that the way to get away was to quickly remove your feet from the assailant's hips, hold his arms in place and hit him with your heels in the chin and the nose a few times and run. Hannah and Lauren demonstrated this, with Joe and Jim cocking their heads out of the way and the girls kicking air.

In one of the coming classes, once you've gotten the hang of it, I will bring in the protective head gear and you'll be able to actually hit me in the face, to see the force this packs. – Joe announced before the people broke into pairs.

Fun. – Jim flashed an eager smile down at Lauren.

The girls will kick him in the face, not you. – She rolled her eyes at him playfully.

They repeated everything a few more times and it was time to practice.

Darryl was paired with Hannah and Joe was off to help Dwight and Angela, so when Jim saw that Kelly and Ryan hadn't quite gotten the hang of, he felt like he should go and help.

Pam was left with a guy from warehouse and she wasn't sure what her next move was after wiggling one leg under him. She threw her head back, looking for someone to help her and met Lauren's eyes. She quickly glanced around, but seeing Jim, Hannah and Joe occupied with other pairs, she licked her lips, ready to swallow her pride and ask Lauren for help. However, Lauren was already by their side and told the guy she would take his place.

What seems to be the problem? – Lauren asked just a tad bit condescendingly as she knelt down and sat on her heels.

I forget how exactly to wiggle out. – Pam said, looking at the ceiling. Lauren grabbed her flanks and lifted her slightly off the ground as she pulled her in, just to incapacitate her and add insult to injury. This made Pam suck in an involuntary breath. Her eyes flashed indignantly at Lauren's, whose were stony.

Let's take it from the top. – Lauren said and lunged down at Pam, who shut her eyes and stuck her arms out. One of her arms budged and Lauren was able to pin it above her head. Pam waited for a second for Lauren to release it, but she wouldn't. She would have to fight for it. Pam wriggled, but Lauren was taller, stronger and above her, having her pinned. She stood no chance. Only after she winced and moaned a little was Lauren satisfied and released her wrist, with a mix of triumph and disgust. She lunged down again, but Pam managed to hold her at bay this time. She freed one leg and stopped, waiting further instructions. Not feeling like humiliating her anymore, Lauren explained that she needed to grab her elbows and put the other foot on her hip and then hold her in place and kick. Pam did this, gingerly, as Lauren sat relaxed. At the last kick, Pam's grip tightened and pulled Lauren a few inches down and the rim of Pam's running shoe made contact with the lower half of Lauren's face. Lauren shouted and threw her head back and Pam was frozen in place. A second later, Lauren was back to her senses, eyes flashing balefully down on a doe-y looking Pam. In another second, Lauren had pinned Pam's hips roughly to the side and was above her, slapping her across the face with splayed fingers. The contact of hand and cheek was loud and penetrating and drowned out the _bitch!_ Lauren had uttered. Pam screamed like she was being murdered and almost immediately, Joe had a flailing Lauren scooped in his arms and a few paces away from Pam, who was curled up in a fetal position on the floor, with watery eyes and clutching her face.


	23. Women Appreciation Day

The rest of the room only noticed the scuffle as Pam and Lauren screamed, one terrified, the other furious.

What's your problem? - What the fuck is wrong with you? – The two yelled in unison. Pam was rolling on the floor, the hard slap filling her eyes with tears before she eve registered the pain and Lauren was first lunging back at her, but then simply struggling against Joe to get out of his enormous constricting arms. He had wrapped all around her and the lack of air she could suck in and his sheer force made her feel claustrophobic all of a sudden.

The room pretty much froze, with only Jim, Hannah and Dwight seeming to have some sense about them left. Toby was scrambling to his feet, but before he could get to either of them, Hannah propelled herself forward. Nobody was sure to whom they were walking, but all four felt they should do something, Dwight as volunteer Sheriff, Toby as HR, Hannah as a friend and Jim as…general love interest.

I'll let you go as soon as you calm down! Babe, calm down! – Joe's face was pressed up against Lauren's and he went from yelling to whispering, trying to soothe her. Just hearing the shift in his tone and their synced heavy breathing made Jim's head dizzy with jealousy.

Getting closer, they saw Pam's bright throbbing cheek and pleading eyes inviting Jim over, but as Lauren calmed down, they saw blood around her unusually red and swollen lips. For a second, the sight stunned Hannah and Jim, who exchanged a look, trying to gauge what to do next. In a rare display of camaraderie, he was her best friend's boyfriend and she loved him after all – few things proved that more than the unfolding spectacle – Hannah pushed in front of him and knelt next to Pam, giving him an open to do the right thing. Relieved, Jim closed the distance between Joe and himself with a few fast strides and forcefully disengaged his arms from around Lauren. Joe stumbled back and Lauren, losing her balance a little between the two, fell against Jim's chest.

Hannah was stroking Pam's hair and shoulders, gently trying to pry her hand from her face to inspect the damage. Hearing her moan Jim's name made her nervous and she wanted to shove something in her mouth lest Lauren hear her and come back to finish what she started.

No, it's Hannah, honey. – She purred, as if Pam were coming out of a coma and was disoriented. – Can I see? Can you pull your hand away for me? – Pam ignored her and looked over her shoulder searching for Jim.

He had one arm around Lauren's waist, trying to prop her up and look at her lip. He was pushing hair from her face, which was clammy from the rage and the struggle. – Oh, baby. – He sighed empathizing, wincing as he finally saw her split lip. His hand continued to stroke her, head, shoulders, cheek, side, and he whispered sweet, comforting little nothings.

What are you doing? – Pam yelled, ostensibly at no one is particular. She had let go of her cheek and was sitting up, suddenly far more aware and less upset, Hannah noted. – Did you see what she did to me? – Pam scanned the room for support of herself and condemnation of Lauren. The people she made eye contact with looked away uncomfortably, not sure what had happened.

Hey, easy there! – Joe's eyes flashed angrily and his dark eyebrows met, giving him a look that stopped Pam dead in her tracks, no color in her face. – You kicked her in the fu-, in the face! – Joe checked himself. – With your foot! Are you insane? – He came closer and leaned down over her, his shadow covering her pale face. Dwight made his way over and said something that made Joe stand back up. He was their teacher after all, this was unacceptable. If Lauren weren't involved, he never would have exploded like this.

I didn't! – Pam looked over at everybody who was now staring at her a little accusingly.

I suppose her lip split of its own accord and she just smacked you for no reason? – Hannah deadpanned. Jim finally took his eyes off Lauren's face and shot Pam a look, equal parts sadness at her state and _what the fuck did you do_.

I didn't, it was an accident! – Pam amended. A few people gasped, like in a soap opera reveal. Hannah rolled her eyes, entirely over this whole charade. Joe's dark stare was unrelenting and he chastised her, saying that was _the one thing_ they had to be careful about. People turned to Lauren, waiting for her to fire back and settle the situation. It was clear they were going to take her word over Pam's. Lauren just stayed in the pocket, staring right at Pam, anger, defiance and triumph coursing through her. She finally blinked and wrapped her arms around Jim, honestly soothed by his protective presence and warmth. He kissed any part of he could reach and rocked her. Pam's eyes filled up with tears again.

Alright, that is obviously all for today. – Joe announced, seeing they were not gonna get to the bottom of things right now and ready for this spectacle to end. People slowly made their way out of the room and Hannah called Kelly over. They had to take Lauren and Pam to the ladies' room to clean them up a little and obviously Jim couldn't go in with them. Hannah left first, hoping to get Pam in and out of the bathroom quickly, so as to overlap with Lauren as little as possible. Pam, however, stalled by the door when Jim got close and it was quite awkward as he handed Lauren over to Kelly. So awkward, in fact, that even Kelly was silent.

Neither Pam nor Lauren really needed anybody to prop them up, but Hannah and Kelly were there mostly to make sure no other fight ensued. Pam stood over one sink, inspecting her face in the mirror. There was one big red stamp on her cheek, mostly from her rubbing it at this point and her hair was messed up a little. Hannah stood between two sinks, facing Pam and making her body a divide so there as little contact between the two sluggers. Lauren was over the sink, head titled back, inspecting her lip. She washed off a tiny bit of blood from her lip and rinsed it out of her mouth before she washed her face. Kelly was riveted watching her, wincing and sighing.

Pam put her hands on the sides of the sink and leaned over it, determined to stay inside until they all left, so she could be alone and collect her thoughts. Lauren, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get out. As soon as she was presentable again, she stalked out of the room, Kelly in tow. Hannah watched them leave and seeing Pam unmoving, staring down at the sink, felt that she should leave as well. After she did, Pam's face screwed up and her eyes filled with tears again, stomach knotty with embarrassment and hurt.

Wow, that was insane. – Kelly finally spoke once they were out of the bathroom and Hannah huffed a _yeah_ , hand rubbing the small of Lauren's back. In the locker room, the rest of the girls were changing and stopped when the trio came in.

Sweetheart, are you okay? – The mother in Phyllis came to the surface. Lauren nodded and tried to give a smile, but it hurt her and she lowered her head, cursing silently.

Knock back a couple cold ones and take a bag from your freezer to your mug. You'll be right as rain tomorrow. – Meredith patted Lauren's back on her way out.

Yeah? – Lauren asked, looking at the floor, happy that the mood was shifting to become less tense.

I should know. – Meredith winked at her and was out. Lauren proceeded to simply put on a hoodie and gather her stuff, in an attempt to leave the locker room fast, before Pam got back inside.

* * *

Jim also didn't bother changing and scooped up his stuff quickly, wanting to get to Lauren fast. He knocked on the bathroom door, but she was already gone and it was just Pam, sniffling over the sink.

She quickly wiped her face when she heard the door open.

Hey, is… - Jim's neck craned, looking to see if there was anyone else in the room. But seeing her sad like that, his heart fell. – Are you… – He was going to ask is she was okay, but that seemed stupid. Obviously not. – How are you doing?

I'll be okay. – She slowly brought her gaze up to his. – How's uh.. Lauren? – She tried to ask casually. Jim just looked at her, knowing she could have asked anybody else. Or asked her herself. He continued to just look at her until it felt sufficiently awkward and he thought he would just shuffle out. But she stepped towards him and called his name. He again looked back at her. The way their balance was off point told them both their muscled pulled them towards the middle, towards one another. They teetered slightly, some strange, latent, ever-present attraction pulling them closer, but the unease of the situation keeping them away. Footsteps in the hallway made Jim step hastily back and fumble to close the door. Lauren was at the beginning of the hallway, standing, tall and proud.

Tell her the locker room's free. – She said monotone, but with poison, and jerked her body, disappearing in the opposite direction.

* * *

Jim ran after her and caught up with her at door. – Hey, I was looking for you. – He said, slightly out of breath as he reached her and went to wrap an arm around her. Joe was there, waiting for everyone to leave, so he could lock up. He watched them intently. Jim's eyes couldn't help but dart between him and Lauren and he just wanted to put as much distance between those two as he could. – Come on, let's go.

I gotta take Joe home. – Lauren replied. She wasn't using it as an excuse to get away or to make him jealous, she really felt like she should take him home and apologize. It would help her to be alone with him and think of what to say and how to act tomorrow. Jim swallowed in frustration and searched for a nice way of dissuading her.

Hannah, bless her, she was mediating between everybody today, stepped in. – Listen, I'll take him. I don't wanna stay at Danny's tonight. I gotta… regroup. – She scoffed. – You go with Jim. – She squeezed Lauren's arm in support and shot Jim an admonishing look, to take care of her. He nodded once and held her closer.

There you go. – He jumped in, encouraging her. He then dropped his register and his head down into her neck. - Besides, I wanna take care of you tonight. – His teeth grazed her earlobe, enforcing the double meaning of his words. Just the idea of emotional and physical comfort he would provide made her breathe a long sigh of relief, the tension finally melting inside her.

* * *

Tomorrow, Pam and Lauren had to report to Toby and talk about yesterday. Neither was going to complain and the incident was classified as an accident. The rest of the office tried to be nice and act like nothing happened, but the excessive smiles and politeness just seemed contrived and Stepfordish. Lauren assumed it would have to continue like this for a few more days till there was enough distance from the event.

Thankfully, she thought – and felt a little bad about it – Kelly and Ryan had broken up. She would have mustered some words of comfort, but she was told this was a regular occurrence. So she simply felt grateful hers wasn't the only scandal.

She and Pam didn't talk. Not because they were angry, necessarily, it was just uncomfortable and neither knew what to say. They found ways of getting work done without addressing each other directly, they were wary of when the other one was in the lounge or kitchen and if these precautions weren't enough at times and they bumped into each other, they smiled with tight lips and quickly moved on. If she was being honest, Lauren enjoyed this more than the strangled conversations they used to have before, trying to be kind and searching for neutral topics. This was easier.

Jim took a similar attitude to Pam. He would greet her coming in, if he had something work-related to say, he would say it politely and economically and other than that, he pretty much steered clear of her. With Lauren, however, reassured that now everybody knew about them, he showered her with glances, touches, kisses. He left little things on her desk; notes, coffee, candy. Almost everyone aw'd at this.

The rest of the self-defense training was going to be done without Lauren, that was her plan, although he was still to share that information with Joe. She felt horribly guilty for dragging him all the way out here only fuck it up and abandon him. Today was the male day. Joe had no such segregation in mind when he set it up, he wanted everyone to learn as much as they could, but word got to Michael that there had been an _incident_ and he racked his brain for something to do about it and came up with a trip to the mall for the ladies. _Women Appreciation Day_ he called it.

* * *

Michael had relented the driver's seat, seeing as how today was a day of women being cool and competent – oh, the suffragettes would be proud – however, no one was thrilled it was Meredith who managed to weasel into the seat. She was swerving as she tipped a bag of chips into her mouth and showered herself and Pam with salty shards.

Meredith, slow down! – Angela darted from the back row with Phyllis, over Kelly's shoulder. Michael was nestled in between Lauren and Kally. - We're not gonna get there any faster if we're dead! – She exclaimed.

I know how to drive. – Meredith barked back, looking at her coat, instead of the road, picking up little pieces of chips from it, before chucking the bag out of the window.

You really shouldn't litter. – Pam criticized.

My car, my rules. – Meredith rolled her eyes. It was the first time anybody had been curt with her since the incident and she wasn't expecting it.

When they arrived at the mall, she tried to park her van in a tight spot and grazed the other two cars in the process. Instead of making fun of her, a dutiful Michael turned to the camera and pointed out that many women were competent drivers, as the rest of the girls scattered, not wanting to be caught with Meredith.

* * *

When they returned from self-defense training, the guys went into the kitchen. Kevin came up behind Jim with his vacant smile. – Hey, Jim. Wanna go into the women's bathroom? – He offered as it were a tempting prospect.

No. – Jim dragged out. – Thank you.

Aren't you curious? – Kevin proceeded.

Not really, I've seen a bathroom before. – Jim replied.

Yeah, but… it's every guy's fantasy. – Kevin bemoaned.

I think you mean the girl's locker room. And the fantasy is usually girls in it. – Jim offered.

I think we had quite a bit of girls and fantasies and locker rooms yesterday. – Ryan joined the conversation, smirking. Jim really wasn't into discussing yesterday's events with him.

I'm going in. – Kevin said staunchly and headed inside.

Go crazy. – Jim egged him on, needlessly, as he was already at the door. He flung the doors open, stepped inside and froze. – Oh. My. God. – The camera caught his words as the doors shut.

* * *

Michael brought over two trays and set them down, saying he hoped no one was on a diet. The conversation died away as he sat down.

Ho-kay. Let's dish. – He invited, adjusting his coat as he settled in.

What do you wanna dish about? – Pam asked. Glances were exchanged as the girls waited to see if he would bring up the cat fight. He might have, but this was _Women Appreciation Day_. He showed gentlemanly restraint.

Anything you guys want, this is your time. – An excruciatingly long, strangled moment passed and everyone slurped on their drinks or had a bite of food. – Mh! – Michael beamed, finally coming up with topic. – What is a pap smear? – He asked, intrigued, as everyone either tensed up or rolled their eyes. – Or is it shmear? Like the cream cheese?

Okay, new topic. – Pam cut in. – Kelly. How are things with Ryan?

Awesome. – She answered in a knee jerk fashion. – Awful, I mean. – She corrected. – But sometimes awesome. – Lauren stared at her, surprised by how much sense she was making to her right now. And immediately wary of that feeling. – We did break up. – Kelly cleared up.

What, uh, what do you think of roleplay? – Michael interrupted, not happy with the new topic.

It can be fun. – Phyllis answered happily, with a knowing nod.

Well, Jan has this schoolgirl fantasy… - Michael started.

That's a pretty common one. – Lauren reassured.

I just…. I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress. – Michael's brave façade was slipping.

Without thinking, Pam shot Lauren a bewildered look. They did that from time to time, finding similar stuff ridiculous. Lauren caught it and returned in without thinking, later resenting their similarities they shared.

Okay, I'm gonna be at the Doll store. – Angela forcefully shut her newspaper and went away. Apparently, she liked to order clothes for Colonial dolls when Gap Kids' clothes were too flashy.

Michael, you shouldn't do anything you're uncomfortable with. – Pam tried to comfort him.

Jan says everything that doesn't scare is not worth doing. - Michael answered, like it was rehearsed line he'd heard often before. – I dunno, maybe we're different people. I like cuddling and spooning and she liked videotaping us during sex. – _Oh, my god,_ Pam couldn't stop herself exclaiming. – Ugh, and then watching it right afterward to improve my form. – The rest spilled out.

That is _not_ healthy behavior. – Lauren offered, seeing everyone was uncomfortable.

No, that's alright; the worst part of it is she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it. – He finished.

Michael, you need to get out of this. – Pam said with genuine concern.

No, she's just fooling around, it's just a woman thing. – He shrugged.

No, normal women don't do stuff like that. This is _bad_. – She looked around the table for support. Lauren and Kelly nodded. Michael looked into the distance and his eyes watered. Phyllis tapped his shoulder and he assured he was okay, looking less and less okay by the second.

You guys. What am I gonna do about Jan? – He asked desperately.

* * *

The boys had joined Kevin in the women's bathroom and were loving it. There was small brass table fountain, scented candles, comfy couches. It was beautiful.

So Jim, where'd you decide to take Lauren tonight? – Toby asked. Kevin looked up from his women's magazine.

 _Ana Maria's_. – Jim answered happily.

What's the occasion? – Ryan looked up from the potpourri bowl he was inspecting.

10 month anniversary. – Jim smiled and Ryan looked shocked, not really believing him.

What? – Jim asked, seeing everyone wore a similar incredulous look.

Nothing. Uh, I think we all kinda thought you guys were just, like, hooking up. – He laughed at the thought of Lauren actually wanting a serious relationship with Jim.

No. – His eyebrows raised, a little irritated at the suggestion in his voice. – We've been dating. For ten months.

Uh, she might mention… - Ryan started coyly. – An e-mail. I wrote a while back.

Jim remembered. Of course his did. – Oh, right. I remember that one. She read it to me. – He was sure to add, just to embarrass him and deter anyone from trying anything. – She said she's not really ready to date anyone in the office. – He scrunched up his nose in mock sympathy. – But… she really likes you as a friend.

I figured. – Ryan whispered. – It's cool. I wouldn't wanna be in an office relationship anyway. – Kevin chuckled behind his magazine and Jim gave the camera his legendary look, half amused half exasperated. He made sure to text Lauren to tell her what happened and how he couldn't wait till tonight.

* * *

Michael made a pros and cons list about Jan.

Read the pros first. – Pam told him.

Okay. Jan is smart. Successful. Good clothes. Hot. Perfect skin, nice butt. – He finished and Phyllis agreed about the clothes.

Okay, okay. Cons. – Lauren asked.

Wears too much make up. Breasts – not anything to write home about. Insecure about body. I'm unhappy when I'm with her. – Lauren's mouth fell open at the clarity and lucidity of the last item. – Flat breasts.

What was the last one? – Pam inquired, surprised he was even continuing.

Completely deflated chestacles. - Michael explained colorfully.

No, the one before that. – Phyllis demanded.

He repeated and Pam smiled a soothing smile. – Michael, you shouldn't be with someone who makes you unhappy.

I'm happy sometimes. – He corrected. Kelly nodded, thinking of Ryan and Lauren nodded on the inside, thinking of Jim. Michael searched for examples. For way too long. – Like when we scrapbook. Or towards the end of having sex. - He looked really eager and like he wanted to hold onto Jan.

Look, most relationships have their rough patches. You just have to push through it sometimes. If you think it's worth it at the end of the day. – Lauren offered and Pam looked at her sideways.

That's smart. – Michael said, rubbing his temples.

Maybe. But it sounds like you're just wrong for each other. – Pam was unrelenting.

That sounds good too. – Michael agreed, feeling like he made no progress. Weren't these women supposed to know better? – I don't know who's right. – He said as Pam and Lauren shared their first not-uncomfortable look since the fight. They just looked sad now. - I don't know what to do.

I bet you know. – Phyllis chimed in. – Don't think, just answer, what do you wanna do about Jan? – She asked quickly.

I wanna break up with Jan. – Michael answered like it was obvious. – Wow! – He was surprised at himself. – I wanna break up with Jan. – He looked over to Pam, who was smiling cheerfully.

My mom taught me that. – Phyllis beamed.

Just then, Lauren received a text.

 _If you ever needed reminding of how the world sees you, I was just in the women's bathroom, drilled about how you would ever stoop to date me. I can't wait till tonight. Love you. So much._

She smiled, a little wary about the women's bathroom part. Fuck Pam and her smug little smirk. And fuck Michael and Jan. She was celebrating her ten month anniversary with the guy she was head over heels for. And though her feelings sometimes frightened her, all she cared about was seeing Jim tonight.

After lunch, Michael insisted that the ladies buy some lingerie, on him. Lauren settled on a nude set with black lace and Phyllis and Kelly agreed Jim would love it. After hearing what the occasion was, Pam disappeared with a pink robe and did a short talking head, about how she was between boyfriends and how she'd make hand towels out of the robe.


	24. Beach Games

_Ana Maria's_ was pretty much _the_ place for couples to go out in Scranton. It was a cozy and mellow place where they banked on dates, anniversaries and proposals being done.

After dinner and some wine, Jim and Lauren were chatting, quite full and tipsy on the wine and the sexy tension in the air.

Ten months. – He stated, eyebrows raising contentedly.

Yeah, holy shit. – Lauren agreed. For some, her vulgarity might have ruined the moment, but Jim had not only gotten used to it, but grew to quite like it. It meant she wasn't holding back.

It's been years since I've been with anyone that long. – Jim noted, more for his own benefit that Lauren's.

Mh, me too. – She stretched and readjusted in her seat. – Who knew this would become such a serious thing? – She snorted.

Well… - He shrugged, just the tiniest bit offended. – I mean, I kinda did…

Really? – Lauren smiled. – You seemed sort of reluctant and stand offish in the beginning… - She explained.

I mean, yeah, sure I was, it was a big life change for me. And it's not easy to meet someone like you and imagine asking you out. – They didn't discuss how they got together much, it was kind of interesting to hear what impression she left on him.

Why not? – Lauren asked, leaning in.

You ego maniac. – Jim murmured through his smile as he leaned in too. – Well, first thing's first, you're gorgeous. – He said matter-of-factly and, aided by the wine, Lauren's cheeks soon filled with color. – Then, you were impossibly cool and smart and laid back and it was really intimidating. Plus, people always assume there is a cavalcade of men scrambling to get your attention, so it's not easy to work up the courage to get in line. – Jim finished.

Wow. That's…interesting. – Lauren commented. – I was sure I mostly exuded being distant and/or belligerent.

There was pregnant pause, at the end of which Jim sighed and asked. – What about me? What did you think? – He asked with his usual bravado, but his flitting eyes betrayed a bit of embarrassment.

Lauren laughed, reminiscing. – Um, let's see. I thought…he'll do. – She shrugged.

Ok. – Jim shrugged back and asked for the check, pretending he was done.

No, shut up. – Lauren giggled and dragged him back into his seat. – For real? Obviously, I thought you were handsome. And intensely cute. And, in spite of myself, I found your goofiness very endearing. – That last part made Jim pull a grimace, only underscoring Lauren's point. – I always thought I would be with some professor type, intellectually challenging and suave… - Jim's frowning face made her rephrase. – No, I mean, all buttoned down and repressed and I would have to make him live a little. But you are so fun, you made me relax and not think as much and just go with the flow. – She looked genuinely grateful for that. – It's been really good for me to be with you.

Jim sighed, feeling very tactile all of sudden, wanting to squeeze her really close. But they were surrounded by people. He felt like they should definitely wrap it up and go home. Very soon. – Likewise. – He said solemnly, after a comfortable, warm pause and they both laughed at hid word choice. – I mean, I would still probably feel aimless and useless if it weren't for you. You've rekindled my love of knowledge and made me feel needed and competent. It's made me so much more ambitious and motivated. There's no way I'd be interviewing next week if it weren't for us. – They shared a smile and leaned over the table to kiss. – Which brings me to… - He whispered in his low, husky voice while they were still close together and sat back. – If I get the job, I'll need to move to New York. Clearly. – Lauren just nodded, deciding to let him speak before she jumped to any conclusions. Jim swallowed and dove in. – So I thought we could go there together. Finally move in. You can maybe look for something new. Like, continue studying – I could support us, or look for a job in writing, publishing? Something Bertrand Russell-y? Something you would really love? – He blabbed on and on and finally stopped to let her react. His enthusiasm and commitment, coupled with the prospect of doing something she really loved, made her extremely excited and nervous and touched, all at once.

She nodded mutely as her eyes got a little misty. – Let's get out of here. – She nudged his foot with hers under the table and that was all the prompting he needed.

* * *

At the office on Monday, Michael announced they would have their Beach Games tomorrow and to get ready, these were a big deal.

* * *

Okay, everybody got their towels and swimsuits? – Michael strutted through the office in a Hawaiian shirt, brimming with excitement. - We have about an hour and a half. I suggest you all go potty now and we will be congregating on the partay bus. – Looks were exchanged at his needless suggestion, but still, it would be better to spend a day outside, even he was being obnoxious.

Meredith flashed the camera; inadvertently, she claimed, thinking she had her bathing suit on. Michael didn't miss an opportunity to be ignorant and homophobic with Oscar, reminding him to take out his Speedo seeing as how leather pants weren't acceptable beach attire, while also making Toby stay behind, so he wouldn't ruin the whole day. Toby then relinquished his sunscreen to Pam, who was relieved, having forgotten hers and planning on wearing a two piece, which made Toby's spirits sink further. Her own excitement was cut short too, when Michael insisted she take notes.

On the way to the Scranton Lake, they had a sing along in the bus, punctuated with complaints and inane questions. When Stanley flatly refused to participate in the "mandatory fun activities", Michael wanted to send him to the back of the bus, which made things awkward. Even on the way there, he pestered Pam to take them notes of even the most insignificant occurrence.

* * *

Once they arrived, Michael gave a pompous speech full of contrived drama and factual inaccuracies that was reminiscent of reality TV. The office was divided into four tribes, with leaders being Jim, Dwight, Andy and Stanley. Jim chose Lauren first and she cart wheeled over. Dwight tried to choose Michael, but since he was not eligible, he begrudgingly settled for Ryan, still referring to his as "temp", who walked over with decidedly less enthusiasm than Lauren.

Dwight's team name was Gryffindor, so Jim naturally chose to be called Voldemort. When Dwight insisted he shouldn't say the name aloud, the rest of team Voldemort started chanting it in his face, as Michael stood by, surly. Stanley shot down Michael's suggestion to be called Red team and chose the name Blue team, just to be his usual contrary self. It made everyone feel like all was right in the world. Andy's ass-kissing extended to whole continent when he called his team USA.

* * *

The first mandatory fun activity was to walk around blindfolded and navigate a course while balancing an egg on a spoon, taking instructions from the team leaders.

Phyllis dropped hers immediately, which made Stanley ecstatic. He settled into a chair and spread out a newspaper, which he was keeping god knows where up until now.

Kelly was freaking out, sure she would bump into some big rock and took off her blindfold and almost set Andy off.

Jim, naturally, was pranking Lauren, telling her to step over and duck under non-existing obstacles and eventually led her into the lake. Lauren, naturally, chucked the egg at him and hit him, of course, and proceeded to chase his down the beach, eventually knocking him down, pinning him under her and hitting him till he apologized. For what ensued, they were, thankfully, far enough not to be seen. Or heard.

Dwight was drilling Ryan and they ended up just arguing. Nobody won.

* * *

Pam was told to heat up 800 precooked hot dogs for a contest in ten minutes. Unbelievably, it was for a hot dog eating contest. That Michael, he just comes outta left field, Lauren noted and received some dark ironic laughs. The team had to eat as much as they could in 10 minutes.

There's a prize. – Michael teased, when no one seemed up for his fun mandatory activity. People were complaining about the lack of condiments and diversity.

What is it? – Meredith asked, mouth full. She was the only one who didn't need coaxing to dig in.

I can't say. – Michael responded, curt and on edge.

You can't say? Or you can't pronounce it? – Jim offered and a few people had to stifle their laughs.

The winner gets regional manager salary for a year and a Sebring and a feeling that they're making a difference in the world. – Michael rattled off, visibly upset and frustrated at everybody.

Can we just take the first two things? – Kelly bargained.

The winner of today gets my job! Ok? – He finally let it out. - I'm interviewing for a job at Corporate and they're only interviewing a handful of people ad I'm the most qualified and I'll probably get it. – He answered petulantly, unhappy that what he thought was his clever plan to find a successor was not working out.

You're leaving? – Dwight asked, horrified and crestfallen.

I didn't wanna tell you because I didn't want to cast a pall over a fun beach day, but I dunno know who to recommend, because frankly, nobody's stepping up. – Michael blurted out, no pretense of leadership left. The few ambitious people in the bunch side eyed one another and were about to make their move.

I'm so hungry! – Andy cried out and stuffed the majority of a hot dog into his face hole.

Do you expect me to believe that you're truly making your recommendation on the basis of this? – Stanley deadpanned, vitriol dripping from his words.

Word. – Michael pointed at him and uttered in his "street" voice.

Andy won. 14 hotdogs. One came back up.

Andy won. 13 hotdogs.

* * *

Next up was sumo wrestling. The team leaders donned ridiculous fat suits and were paired up in a mano a mano fight for supremacy. Jim backed away and crawled out of the ring, claiming that he truly thought Stanley would kill him. The cameras would later substantiate his claim, as Stanley did have a ravenous look in his eyes as he made for Jim. Andy lost to Dwight. They continued their fighting afterwards, as Michael was kneading the ridge of his nose.

* * *

Hannah and Jim found a secluded part of the beach to call and confirm they were still being interviewed on Thursday and David Wallace's assistant confirmed they were. They came back and relieved Lauren of her watch-standing duties as Michel was announcing their final fun mandatory activity, or funtivity.

It was a fire walk. A freaking. Fire. Walk! The tribal looking bamboo sticks impaled all around them didn't help the mood at all.

Pam was the most into it out of everybody, having almost lost her mind with boredom all day.

Jim was the first person Michael turned to and offered a go. He refused. Andy was missing, having disappeared after the sumo funtiviy. Michael was egged on to lead by example and be the first to brave the flames. He stood there for an excruciatingly long time and everyone knew he was never going to do it. He asked for a three count, a reverse three count, then he asked for clarification on whether he walked on _three_ or on _go_ and when it finally looked like he would put his foot on the coals, Dwight lunged in front of him and did the walk. He begged for the job as he stood, he begged for it as he collapsed onto the coals, the begged for it as he writhed, he begged for it as he was pulled from the coals. Michael refused, calling his actions gross.

* * *

Finally, once everything had failed and darkness enveloped them, Michael had to improvise and move fast . He came up with a one hundred point, winner take all, sudden death, tropical council round. He was looking for the Bob Hope factor in his candidates. How that related to the Regional Manager position, lord only knows.

Jim was asked to plead his case.

Hey, I know what you're looking for, but I gotta be honest, I really don't think I should be considered as your replacement. – Jim tried to be polite and Hannah and Lauren got a little nervous as to how the discussion would unfold. They just hoped Michael would drop it.

You're being too modest. – He responded, trying to look sage.

Without missing a beat, Jim responded. - Michael, on Thursday I'm gonna drive down and interview with David for the open position in New York. – Everyone but Hannah and Lauren was surprised. The camera searched for Pam to get her reaction, but she was still by the coals, working up the courage to walk on them.

Ok. That is not funny. I am deducting 60 points from Voldemort for false pretenses. – Michael refused to believe him even though he was obviously serious. It was easier that way, at least Michael wasn't making a big deal out of it right now and Jim didn't need to talk him down off a ledge.

Pam's absence was noticed when she wasn't there to take the deduction. She had finally physched herself up to do the walk. She did it and ran over, a twitching mass of energy and elation.

Hey! I wanna say something! – She ran into the middle of the circle, bouncing from one foot to the other. - I've been tryna be more honest lately and I need to say a few things. I did the coal walk! I did it! – She beamed at everyone and turned to Michael. - Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. – Before anyone could react to her bold statement, she continued. - Wow, I feel really good right now. – She exclaimed and gave everyone a hard look. - Why didn't any of you come to my art show? – Hannah, Oscar and Lauren exchanged looks, but decided to refrain from criticizing her, it was clearly a rhetorical question. - I invited all of you. That really sucked. – Pam scolded. - Like, sometimes, some of you act like I don't even exist. – Some people looked down guiltily, while others rolled their eyes, thinking of how she and Jim did nothing but ignore them and prank them for years. Before anyone could speak, Pam went ballistic. - Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. –Gasps. Looks. Horror. - And now we're not even friends. And things are just like weird between us, that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. I really miss you. – Jim's face was sympathetic and attentive, but he made sure not to betray any other emotion. - I shouldn't have been with Roy. And there were a lot of reasons to call off the wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you're with someone else. – Pam pointed out dejectedly and Hannah's horrified hand found Lauren's upper arm in the dark. Only at that contact did Lauren register that she felt like she'd been punched in the gut. - And that's fine. It's fine, whatever, that's not what I'm… - Pam scrambled to get off the topic, because it was really inappropriate to do this in front of Lauren and the whole office and, though she'd never admit it, her check tingled, a physical memory of the last time she squared off with Lauren and her mind reeled at what she might be capable of now. - Ok, my feet really hurt. The thing that I'm just tryna say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, - She added reluctantly - is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone else in the circle. Ok, I am gonna go walk in the water right now… yeah. It was a good day. – She chirped and ran off. The whole circle was petrified, with only several sets of eyes moving in the direction of Jim or Lauren.

Pam, that was amazing. – Michael praised. - But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.

* * *

When people eventually gathered their wits, they got to their feet and let Lauren and Jim have a little privacy. Lauren got to her feet mechanically and headed towards Jim's car to get a hoodie. Her skin was crawling all of a sudden.

Wait, wait. – Jim finally snapped out of his trance when she disappeared from him periphery. – No, you're not running away this time. – He muttered and strode after her. She was buttoning up her hoodie and holding her purse absent-mindedly when he reached her. – Hey, hey, look at me. – He squeezed her shoulders. – I had nothing to do with this. This is Pam's…stuff. – He shook his head dismissively. Then he cupped her face and hugged her, a little awkwardly because she was still not reacting and still clutching her purse. – Forget this. We'll be in New York Wednesday night and you never even need to come back if I get the job. I'll bring everything I need and we can forget all about Scranton. In just a day or two. Okay? Like all of this never even happened. – He was stroking her hair and swaying her from side to side.

You should go. – Lauren croaked out. Her throat was closed and sore, like she had been crying. – Go find her. And work it out. It's never gonna end until you talk about it and until you are both convinced there is nothing going on. – She managed to choke out, hardly even aware that she was speaking.

Although he didn't want to leave Lauren and he _certainly_ didn't want to face Pam right now, Jim knew she was ultimately right. He might as well do it now. – Okay, but wait for me. I'll try to make back as soon as possible. – He planted a forceful kiss on her forehead and headed down to the lake to find Pam.

When he was gone, Lauren hand reached inside the purse, into a zipped up pocket and retrieved a white envelope with Pam's name on it. With a shaky sigh, she decided it was time to read it. So she climbed into the car, locked it and opened the envelope very gingerly.

* * *

The next day, Joe would receive a voicemail of the following content.

 _Hey, babe, it's me. Remember that fucking letter? Well, I finally read it. I'll spare you the gory details, but it's Jane Auten-y in theme and Charles Dickens-y in terms of pathos. On the upside, the sappiness instantly made me fall out of love with him a little. –_ Lauren laughed an agonized laugh _. – It's over. It's so fucking over. –_ She sighed. _– Tell me where you are, I'll drive out there. I can't stay here a second longer._

* * *

Most people were gone by now and Lauren sat quietly down next to Meredith, who was changing out of her trunk. She was entirely nonplused, like she did this all the time. Lauren rubbed her eyes hard and leaned her elbows on the roof of Meredith's car.

Hey, Meredith. Wanna get shitfaced? – She asked simply.

Meredith seemed to understand and she just patted Lauren's back before she reached into her glove compartment and took out a half empty bottle. They drove off to Meredith's house and did exactly what they set out to do. They spent the whole night bemoaning love, past heartaches, laughed at their younger dumber selves and shit-talking everybody.


	25. The Plan

The next morning, Lauren and Meredith were late. Naturally. Lauren's head was splitting and there was a constant droning high pitched ringing in her ears that she was convinced would drive her insane before it stopped. They were drinking everything they could find, including some off brand, toxic liquor that she was sure had damaged her nervous system permanently. She was currently wearing her yesterday's beach shirt and a pair of Meredith's sweats. Even in the blackout she was still in this morning, she eschewed the bedazzled ones and ones with print on the ass, like _Juicy_ or _Insert Here._

Everyone was working, so it was relatively easy to make their way to their desk without being ambushed and showered with questions, even though their entrance hadn't gone unnoticed. Jim was on a call, but his wide and concerned eyes were on Lauren the whole while he tried to wrap it up. Hannah was doing the Matrix bend to see their desk from the annex and it was clear she would pounce on Lauren as soon as she got the opportunity. Pam looked unperturbed as she acknowledged their coming in.

* * *

Before he could make his way over to Lauren, Jim had to turn in some reports and this led him to reception, where Kevin and Meredith were filling out some forms with Pam.

What's different about you? – The typically unobservant Kevin asked him. – You look worse. – He concluded as Pam and Meredith gazed at him in awe. His hair was neat and folded, giving him a distinguished sexy look.

Thank you. – Jim answered simply, eager to leave.

He got a haircut. It's sexy-hot. – Meredith leered. Jim gave the camera his awkward look as he made to walk away, but she continued.- Turn around.

No. – He shook his head decisively and angled towards Lauren's desk, meaning he'd have to brush past Meredith.

Do it! – Meredith raised her voice and he moved past her gingerly, careful not to make eye contact.

Like in an obstacle course, Andy popped up. – What's up, Big Haircut? You are no longer Big Tuna. From henceforth, you shall be known as Big Haircut. – He declared solemnly. His cadence and cheer was making Lauren grind her teeth.

Hey! – Pam called out. He turned automatically. – I think it looks great. – She smiled coyly, but didn't break eye contact the way she usually did.

To end this unwanted attention, Jim explained. – I got a haircut. – He shrugged, stating the obvious. – Lauren suggested I do it for the interview. – He continued as he reached her chair. – So that I could look presentable and not, as she so lovingly put it, homeless. – Everyone laughed and Jim was happy to finally be in a private bubble with Lauren. Sure, Creed's body was there, but his soul had left centuries ago, so they were basically alone.

Hey, hon, what happened? – Jim crouched next to Lauren, rubbing her back soothingly. She was a little surprised he came over and that he called her hon, seeing as they were broken up. Then she figured she must have forgotten to let him know. Remembering her plan for today, this actually played into her hands. – I called you like 30 times, your phone was off. Are you okay? – He sounded genuinely worried, but also reassuring, seeing her look this terrible. – I was with Hannah all night, we were freaking out. We were gonna call the police if you didn't show up this morning.

No need, I'm here. – She replied curtly, rubbing her red sore eyes till she saw little swirling galaxies under her lids.

What happened? – He inched closer, wrapping his free arm around her waist.

Oh, I just…ran into Meredith and we got to drinking. I spent the night at her place. – Jim just continued to stare at her, incredulous of her tone. She was talking as if drinking with Meredith and crashing at her place were the most normal thing in the world.

Are you sure you're alright? Why…why would you do that? – He asked, examining her face closely. All this kindness and emotion was pissing her off, considering what she learned last night. She put on her bravest face, her plan and the bubbling anger giving her new life, and ran her hand through his luxurious freshly cut hair.

I'm fine, the night just got away from me, hon. I'm sorry I took off. – She stroked his cheek with her thumb and he caught it, kissing the inside of her wrist. – Listen, I don't want you to worry, but I gotta finish some work. We'll talk later, alright?

He stared at her for another while, not wanting to go. Finally he got to his feet and stole a quick kiss before leaving. As he did, she felt a painful thud in her chest as the thought formed in her head that this is possibly the last time that would happen. The reel of how he usually kissed her played in her head, although her rational voice was screaming at it to stop. His cologne, the warm, slightly glazed over look in his eyes as he grew nearer – as his rational brain shut down and libido took over. The gravitational pull she swore his tall frame and broad shoulders had – whenever he got within a foot of her, her body just gravitated towards his, the skin tingling, desperate for some friction. The miniscule pause between coming close and closing the tense eager distance between their lips, often whispering something, all the once raspy and smooth. Her eyes had filled to the point of no return and she was debating on how to shed the tears the quickest – tilt her head back and let them slip out the outer corners, tickling her ears and wetting her hair _or_ bowing her head and letting them run out the inside corner and down her nose? That usually takes more cleanup.

* * *

There was no time to waste. Lauren dialed Dwight's extension.

Hello? – He answered.

Hello, Dwight, this is Lauren. – Before he could ask anything, she rushed to speak. – _Don't_ say my name! I am going into the kitchen. I will make two cups of coffee. Come over in five minutes. It is deathly important. – Then she hung up, not letting him refuse.

Dwight came into the kitchen, trying to look inconspicuous. Instead, his face, screwed up, with wild paranoid eyes, made him stick out like a sore thumb. – I am thirsty for some coffee. – He announced to Ryan and Stanley, who were also there. – Is there perchance a spare cup of coffee lying around?

Sure, come sit with me, Dwight. – Lauren rolled her eyes, which was a mistake as it made her head throb and it messed up her equilibrium, making the room spin.

In a few minutes, Ryan and Stanley were gone and the pair could get on with their business. – What is the meaning of this? What is so important? – Dwight stared hard at Lauren.

I need your help. It's about Jim. – Lauren started and felt Dwight immediately pull away.

I don't want any part of this. I'll have you know, Michael has just named me his replacement and my first order of business will be demoting Jim. I have no interest in helping him. – He said.

Nor do I. – Lauren said seriously and bitterly and Dwight was shocked. – Jim and I are no longer together.

I don't believe you. I just saw you canoodling a few minutes ago. – He argued, unsure of what Lauren was doing.

Yes, you did. He still doesn't know. I need your help to get him. – Lauren continued, bracing herself for his inevitable outburst.

Uh-huh! – He scoffed, victorious. – You think I'm so stupid? Jim is leaving for an interview and you're trying to squeeze in one more prank! I am not falling for it.

Dwight. – Lauren called his name sternly, to get him to listen. – Shut up and listen good. I am in no mood to be playing your bullshit office games. You were there last night. You heard Pam. You know their history. Those two assholes brought me down here, into this anus of a town, and made me look like an idiot for almost a year. I know you can understand how that feels. To be made to feel like an idiot by Jim and Pam? – Lauren asked, leaning in close. Dwight was uncomfortable, with her language, her proximity and mostly, the wild look on her face.

I do. – He said, uncharacteristically quietly.

Now I do too. I want to…give them a taste of their own medicine. But I need your help.

No, I still don't believe you. This doesn't make any se… - Before he could finish, Lauren threw down a white envelope on the table. – What's this?

This is a letter Jim wrote to Pam the Christmas before I came. – Lauren declared. – Go ahead.

Dwight was tempted by the offer, knowing this would provide him ample material to mess with Jim. Forever. But then he looked at Lauren, disheveled and desperate, murder in her eyes. And he didn't have the heart to open it, knowing its contents made Lauren this wreck sitting opposite him.

That's alright. – He swallowed and sat upright. – What do you want from me?

I was thinking of all the things Jim did to you. – Lauren started. – The stapler. The gaydar. The nickels in the phone. The vampire. The CIA scam. All the misinformation. Making you stay late. Come early. Embarrassing you. But one thing seemed appropriate. – She rubbed her tired eyes, visualizing the outcome of her plan.

Which is? – Dwight asked, salivating at the thought, but trying to keep his cool. – You know you can't do anything crazy?

Oh, it's quite tame. I will just return everything to its place. To the way things were before I came around. Give people what is theirs. – Lauren smiled bitterly.

I don't understand. – Dwight urged her to continue.

Remember when you had to buy your own stuff back from the vending machine? – Lauren asked.

Dwight looked down, remembering. – They also put my wallet in there. It took me the whole day to finally get it all. – He mumbled, trying to keep his dignity.

I would like you to call that guy. It has to be the same guy, though. He'll be the easiest to convince. We will tell him that Jim is finally ready to profess his feelings for Pam and he wants to do it in a quirky creative way. He will put the letter inside the machine and Pam will take it out. Now, here's the thing. For maximum effect, it has to be done at lunch, when everyone is around. Also, there is a letter for Jim. – She reached into the pocket of Meredith's sweats. – From me. – It was in identical envelope to Pam's, only with Jim's name on it. - And then, you can gloat all you want. – She leaned back as she concluded and waited for Dwight's reponse.


	26. Inevitable

Pam's TH:  
After I had my little outburst at the beach, Jim was really nice about it. He just basically said that he missed my friendship too and that I would always mean a lot to him. And I understand where he's coming from. For the record, I am not embarrassed at all. It needed to be said and I said it. And it only took me three years to summon the courage. So… thank you. – She bowed at the end, looking very pleased with herself.

* * *

Dwight had a hard time remembering the name of the guy who fixed the vending machines, but since his brain went into crisis mode, _Steve_ eventually rose to the surface. It took a while to convince the operator to agree to put them thought to Steve, as he was trying to explain there was little chance of them dispatching someone today. Once Steve was on, Lauren took over, to sweet talk him and also to make sure he didn't remember Dwight. She was sure he hadn't left a good impression. She spoke in a low voice and explained that Jim needed someone of his expertise. Lauren said his interview was pushed forward and he was pressed for time, so she was helping him out. It needed to be done today or the great potential for love between Jim and Pam could dissolve into nothing. It turned out Steve was a romantic. He agreed to meet them at the parking lot in about an hour and a half and be smuggled inside to put the letters into the machine.

* * *

Dwight was inside with Steve, eyeing him suspiciously, while Lauren was keeping watch outside the break room. Hannah wanted to come over, but Pam beat her to the punch.

Hey. – She was wringing her hands.

Hey. – Lauren replied, not sure which tone to take. There was already a lot of water under their particular bridge and last night hadn't helped matters at all. Also, though she was _keeping watch_ , she had no game plan as to actually preventing people from coming in.

Pam decided not to bring up Lauren's haggard look and instead addressed the other obvious issue. - Um, about the beach.

There was a pregnant pause as they were both coming up with what to say. - It's okay, we all say things without thinking. – Lauren went for lighthearted and shrugged, even managing a polite smile. Take the out, she thought, you little destroyer of lives.

Oh, no, it's not that. I've actually been thinking that for a long time. And I'm glad I said it. I'm just, I'm sorry if it made you feel weird. - Pam was steadfast and proud, but it only read as spiteful to Lauren. She expected her usual rage to awaken, but it didn't. No adrenaline. Her muscles didn't tense, ready to tear her to pieces. Lauren stood leaning against the door, feeling weak and sad. Like she had a fought a long battle she fully expected to win, and then this tiny unassuming mouse proved to be made of titanium. After ten months of watching Jim and Lauren's relationship blossom, there she stood, hair partly up, blue cardigan, grey skirt, plain as hell and completely calm. She was fine. Meanwhile, Lauren looked like death warmed up and never felt worse.

Good. Good for you. – Lauren breathed out in a neutral tone, feeling her eyes sting and knowing there was a fresh hot wave of tears coming. They looked at each other for another second and it was all Lauren could do not to run away and scream in pain. Pam finally gave a tiny friendly shrug and shuffled away.

Jim was watching everything out of the corner of his eye, but he had no real clue what was going on. Lauren was still a conundrum to him. Yes, he knew a crazy amount about her, he'd even met her family, he'd read some of her favorite books and she had solemnly shared some of her favorite songs with him, the ones that bare your soul to another person in a swift succinct way, the way everyday words never could. But there were still moments where he couldn't recognize her at all. She'd go into a strange mood and completely shut down; this made him reel wildly, having been convinced up to that point that he had a handle on her. Then she'd come out with odd questions, ponderous and prying, that seeming totally unconnected to the situation to him. Then there was her usual philosophical rationalization and assurances she was _fine_. And eventually, just as suddenly, she'd come back to him. Back on this Earth, loving and utterly enthralling and he was always overjoyed to have her back. She had left the Earth again, he could see, fraternizing with Meredith and coming to work completely disheveled and disoriented. She was yet again evasive and distant and he knew her well enough at this point to see she was hurt and afraid. And try as he might, he was unable to convince there was no reason for it. The situation with Pam escalated. Pam had also acted in a way he never would have foreseen. She was confident and honest and, has this happened a few years ago – fuck, had it happened as late as a few _months_ ago, he it would have found it unspeakably attractive. In his romantic head, they would have ridden off into the sunset and the perfect life together. In his romantic head, Pam was a pure sweet figure that, if only they could get together, everything else would just click. I mean, she was this pure sweet perfect little woman, how could it not? She was loud, like Lauren. Her tall, athletic frame didn't put him to shame and make him throw his shoulders back. She didn't make dirty jokes or drink him under the table. She didn't go into weird moods and say calculated shrewd words that tore his masculinity to shreds when she was angry or hurt.

And yet.

She had done this amazing thing. Left her heart wide open and stunned every last person. And all he did, indeed all he wanted to do, was congratulate her on her courage and comfort her when he rejected her. Because his girlfriend was parading around all day with her perfect legs on display and they were soon going off to New York where he planned a whole life for them together and all he wanted was to run back to his car, drive her home and get into her bed.

And yet.

Lauren was at the break room door, in yesterday's clothes, hung over and looking she was about to crumble. And Pam was looking at him with he feared was quiet assurance of their future.

* * *

Dwight and Steve were soon finished and Dwight saw him out of the building. Lauren didn't know how, but he managed to convince him not to talk to Jim on his way out and she was grateful.

She went into the bathroom to quickly wash her face and found Hannah stalking the hallway on her way out.

Get the fuck over here! – Hannah grabbed her wrist. – I've been trying to talk to you all morning. What happened last night? You look…

Like shit. – Lauren offered.

Yeah. – Hannah reluctantly agreed. – Where were you? Jim said you were with Meredith? Is that true?

Since when are you two so friendly? – Lauren asked, teasing. She needed some levity, she felt like she was drowning on dry land.

Since we both love you. You disappeared and I could barely calm him down. He wanted to call the firemen, the police, to drive all over town to look for you… it was intense. – Hannah explained.

Picturing him act this way gave Lauren pleasure, both in the sense of his being worried for her and in the sense of his going crazy and feeling bad. This again brought up conflicting feelings in her, the love, the jealousy, rage, sympathy, self-pity. It was like violent waves splashing in her chest and she felt like she was unraveling.

He spent the night at our place, I could barely convince him to get some sleep. – Hannah finished the account of last night. – I was going out of my mind because somewhere in the middle of the night, I get a phone call from Joe and Danny and Jim are there, following my every move. He tells me that you and Jim broke up, as I'm looking into Jim's fucking eyes. And then I have to come up with an explanation for both of them. And you're missing and we can't reach your cell and then you show up looking like a swamp monster and act like it's all cool? – Hannah's voice was shaking and she looked close to tears as well. – Fuck, Lauren! – She flailed her arms at her sides and Laure just embraced her hard.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. – Lauren whispered as they squeezed each other.

So what are you doing, what the fuck is going on? – Hannah finally composed herself and pulled away.

I know you're in no mood, but you'll see very soon. – Lauren said, anticipating Hannah's reaction.

No, no, fuck that. You tell me right now. I am so on edge, these past few days have been crazy and we have that interview tomorrow and Danny is making me insane, I don't wanna wait for more of your surprises. – Hannah sputtered.

I know, I know. Look, I am breaking up with Jim, this is not working… - Lauren started and Hannah grabbed her shoulders.

Because of last night? Because of Pam? Cause, correct me if I'm wrong, but Jim immediately went after you and completely ignored her. – Hannah reassured, her patience wearing thin. Lauren's standards were very high when it came to relationships and fidelity, but with Jim, she had become so insecure that she had a hairpin trigger and was ready to end the relationship over anything. And, as an outsider, it was clear to Hannah that they were very much in love, even if they did have their issues.

No, it's so much more than that… - Lauren tried to explain, but Hannah butt in.

Okay, you know what? You're a grown up, you can do what you want. But let me just say one last thing. I understand now. I understand that you have your ambitions and goals and living here isn't conducive to that. And I know what it feels like to fall head over heels for a guy and feel anchored to this place. My plan was to dump Danny and go have myself a fabulous life, but I've fallen in love with him so much more than I anticipated. – Both girls' eyes were welling up, for different personal reasons. – And I told him things I never told anyone else. Not even you, I don't think. And I've never felt so vulnerable before. And he was amazing. He came through for me more than I could have dreamed. So I am going tomorrow, fully hoping not to get that job and to come back here and have a wonderful time with him. As he forgets his phone and doesn't reply for three days, as he clambers over me to get out of bed, thinking he's being stealthy. – They both laughed through their tears and wiped their faces, trying to recompose. – What I'm saying is, I would fight for _that._ I would hold her any bitch down and slap her so hard the whole studio full of his co-workers heard and started fearing me. – Hannah jibed. Lauren's spirits lifted a little, liking the idea of inspiring fear, as well remembering the sweet moment she got her frustrations out. Just like Hannah knew it would. – So do whatever you think is best, but take _everything_ into consideration, not just your suspicions.

Lauren couldn't deny that she was moved, but then she thought back to the vending machine and her letter. – I think this is pretty set in stone at this point. – She said, a tad wistfully.

Lauren. – Hannah called her name, suspicions rising. – What are you planning to do?

* * *

It was almost lunch time and people were already ambling about in the break room.

Hannah and Lauren returned to their desks for a moment. Lauren wanted to make sure that everyone was inside the break room before she did what she had decided to do.

Pam was retrieving something from the annex for Michael when she bumped into Hannah.

Hey, Hannah. Michael needs us in the conference room. – Pam announced to her, knowing she must be eager for lunch break.

Oh, is it Jan again? – Hannah rolled her eyes. - Hey, before I leave tonight, would you mind making a half a dozen copies of Jim's and mine sales reports? For our interviews tomorrow? – She asked gingerly.

Uh, sure. – Pam was taken aback slightly, she seemed to have forgotten Jim was interviewing. After a small pause, she managed a polite smile. - I really hope you get the job.

Thanks. – Hannah took the good wishes automatically, though personally, getting the job was the last thing she wanted. A moment later, she discovered a different portent – Pam really wanted Jim to stay behind. Usually, she would be peeved at this and immediately go report to Lauren, but this time, not knowing what's gonna happen before the day is over, she just felt conflicted and decided to keep it to herself.

Jim materialized at Lauren's desk the second he saw she was alone. - Hey, what if we leave tonight? Grab a bite? Get a hotel room? Enjoy the city a little bit? – He suggested a little feverishly, desperate for her snap out of her mood. He was also getting a bit nervous about the interview and he really wanted her support.

Uh… I just have so much paperwork to do still. – Lauren replied, her stomach doing backflips. She felt like she was perched behind a curtain, about to ram a dagger though his chest. Honestly, she could faint with all this guilt. Knowing the next hour would change everything, she decided to negotiate. – Hey, look, we'll see. We'll uh…know more after lunch. Ok? – Her voice went way up and she was worried it might break. That definitely would have led to a chain reaction that would have ended in her wailing. Jim sighed and nodded, moving to close the distance between them. An evil, twisted voice in her head whispered _this is the last he's gonna be this close to you._ His arms snaked around her and pulled her close. _This is the last time you'll snuggle in his chest. Breathe in his cologne._ He kissed the top her hear and swayed her. She didn't even hear the voice anymore, but she knew very well it was all true. As she took a step back, he cupped her face and kissed her gently and slowly. He then simply led her by the hand into the break room.

* * *

Meanwhile, the break room was filling up and Oscar decided to tease Pam, who was blowing into a cup of tea.

Hey, Pam. I've been meaning to say something to you. – He announced seriously. He sighed and look her dead in the eyes. - I really miss our friendship.

Haha, very funny. – Pam rolled her eyes good naturedly and joined the rest of her co-workers in a laugh at her expense.

I never heard you talking so much. I thought it was Kelly. – Stanley noted.

I would never have done that. It was pathetic. – Kelly protested. - No offense, Pam.

You know what, don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, no one even remembers what you said. – Meredith offered in support, not realizing it was in fact only her who was drunk the whole day.

Jim and Lauren had entered and people naturally turned to look at them. Even more so after what happened last night at the beach. Before anyone commented on anything, Dwight entered, looking shady as fuck. He eyed everyone suspiciously, glanced at the vending machine, then at Lauren, then at Jim. He steadied himself for a moment and took a breath, ready to begin.


	27. Or Not At All

I need some refreshment. – Dwight began, a little too loud and formal. - I will look in the vending machine. For some beverage or some such. – He explained and stood in front of the rigged machine. – But wait… What is this? – Contrived astonishment. – An envelope with Pam's name. – He pointed to it and turned to the room. The people were looking at him disinterestedly, put off by the farcical feel the whole scene had. Lauren was experiencing major acid reflux. Jim was looking at the machine vaguely suspiciously.

Pam furrowed her eyebrows in question and made her way over. – Wow, there really is an envelope in there. – She was surprised. – You guys, who did this? – She smiled, a little confused and reached for a quarter to put into it. – No, wait, there… There is another envelope in there too. – She cocked her head to the side to read it. – Jim? – She asked and turned around. Jim looked uncomfortable, like he was sensing something was wrong. His lips were tight and his eyes wide as he let go of Lauren and walked over to Pam. She had put the money in and retrieved the envelopes.

Pam handed Jim his envelope and his face went ashen as he recognized his handwriting on hers. He whipped around in panic, glancing from Dwight to Lauren and generally around the room, ready to jump out of skin. He would have done anything for them Pam and the others not to see the content of that letter.

Er, listen! – He caught one end of the envelope, trying to pry it away from Pam, but she had a steady hold on it. His blind panic was obvious to all. – Pam, why don't you let me have that?

Why? – She asked, smiling curiously. Something was obviously up. In his despair, he took a step closer and talked in hushed tones, as if that was going to make everybody suddenly stop taking notice. Instead, as you would expect, people exchanged intrigued glances and only leaned closer the more feverish he appeared.

Please, Pam, just let me have that back… - He hadn't meant to say that last word and he let out a frustrated grunt as he did.

You wrote this? – Pam asked, full volume.

Holy shit. – Kelly exclaimed in the background.

Completely stunned, Jim just took shallow breaths and pulled at his fresh haircut.

Yeah, it's quite wonderful. – Lauren finally stepped in, aware that this was as far she'd planned things and had no idea what to do now. – I'm sure you'll love reading it. – She walked over and pried the letter from Jim, letting Pam have it. It was easy as Jim was stunned and immobile.

You… knew? You read it? – He asked in a deep quiet voice that came from the back of his throat, the sound that comes out as one is beginning to cry.

Yeah. – Lauren answered, not looking at him and reaching out to Pam's other hand. – And this one is for you. From me. – He outstretched his hand automatically, still looking at her baffled, but she slammed it into his chest and turned to face the room.

Jim and I are over, everybody. Obviously. And it's my pleasure to introduce your prom King and Queen, the new it couple, Jim and Pam. – Lauren announced and the room was entirely quiet and unbearably awkward.

Pam scoffed loudly and shook her head. Lauren could feel Jim's hard and disappointed glare burn into the back of her head.

What the hell – How could you… _possibly_ do and say such things? – Jim began emphatically, after he decided that now that the jig was up he also didn't care who was there and who was listening.

Don't even start! – Lauren whipped around and snapped a hard and bitter response that shut his emotional one down. – You don't get to hold _anything_ against me. – They locked eyes and she for the first time saw the state he was in. Actually seeing it was worse than anything she could have imagined. The awful scenario we dream up in our heads can go far beyond what actually ends up happening, but physically being in the situation is so visceral and crushing. His lips were curled in disgust and his face twisted in disappointment and hurt, but the worst were his eyes. Wide and shocked, they were getting red and glassy and terribly beautiful. Seeing it all made her throat close and tear up instantly, rendering her unable to speak.

Pam finally gathered her wits. – This was an incredibly invasive thing to do to Jim. And humiliating for all of us. – She had other, offensive and expletive, things to say, but tried to censor herself. – You should…be fired for doing this. – She threw her arms up in resignation.

Oh, no, I obviously intend to quit. – Lauren's spite and defiance rose to the surface and she stretched to her full height. – So as a farewell… Ryan. You are an ego-maniac and the worst kind of opportunist. I'm sure you will do things in your life that will make you burn in hell. Kelly. You are the worst iteration of our insipid culture, vain and vacuous, there is nothing interesting or respectable about you. Phyllis, you are a sad quiet woman who will never reach her full potential, which is equally pathetic and pitiful. Angela, you are a hateful and judgmental little heartless monster. Jesus hates you. Creed. I am pretty sure you are a criminal and don't even mind me saying so in public. Stanley. The infinitesimal amount you care about this office and this job is at once why you are detestable and why I feel a kinship to you. Meredith. You are terrible at your job, but fuck it. I like you. Pam. As a woman, you represent everything I don't want to be. You are quiet and insecure, indecisive and passive, you settle for anything, and yet you are dissatisfied. You distance yourself from your equals and pretend that you are somehow superior to them even though, at everything you do, you are mediocre at best. The only reason you are not ostracized for your behavior is that these people know well enough you are not going to amount to anything else and will be stuck at that desk forever. So you feel free to keep looking down on them and make fun of them with your Prince Charming. Because you – she turned to Jim, who was looking angrily away from her and from everybody – have hurt me in ways I didn't think possible. And more than anyone ever before. So completely and insidiously that not only will I never trust you again, but I feel entirely skeptical and wary of absolutely everyone. I am now totally and utterly alone and ruined. So you can feel angry and humiliated all you want, but after the Hell you put me through, you don't get to hold anything against me. – Lauren concluded and stormed off. Hannah soon followed.

* * *

After lunch, Hannah and Lauren were no longer in the office, but the crew had to insist on making TH segments with whoever was around.

Ryan's TH:

I don't know. I'm not really mad. I mean, she's kinda right, my plan is to be successful. And you don't get there by playing nice. Also, that was hot. I'm pretty sure I have a good shot with her now.

Kelly's TH:

I mean, she was super mean to me and I'm like hella mad at her, but holy crap you guys, how awesome was that whole scene? It was like old school soap opera stuff, it was so fierce.

Angela TH:

She does _not_ speak for Jesus.

Stanley's TH:

Lauren? She said what? I wasn't listening. I was going to town on a box of Yodels. Ever since my last physical, my wife has banned processed sugar from the house. The lunch break is the only time I have to feel happy at this office. I was _not_ listening. Did anything interesting happen?

Pam's TH:

It was the first moment of privacy they all had, so she was given the opportunity to read the letter. She opened it with shaky hands and gave the cameras an enthusiastic smile. As she read it, her hand shot to her lips and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She was smiling warmly all the while. At the end, she was asked if she could share the contents of the letter. She mused on it for a few moments.

I can tell you that it's a very sweet and romantic letter. What you would expect from Jim. – Her little shoulders went up as she mentioned his name, like a sweet schoolgirl. – And it made me very happy. – She smiled and her eyes filled again.

Jim's TH:

He was reluctant to open his letter in front of the cameras, since he hadn't processed anything that just happened, but he was badly shaken up nonetheless. However, he was contractually obligated to stay in the office and do his segment, so he thought he might as well do it. He sat in silence for a while, trying to compose himself and then he finally tore the envelope open. There was a small piece of paper and a page torn out of a book in it. He looked at the note and sighed. It only had two words on it and he flipped it around for the cameras. They had to blur the first word, but the second was _you._ Nothing you wouldn't expect.

He then looked at the page and saw there was nothing written on it by Lauren, just a bit of prose. While he was skimming it, he was asked if he could read it. Without looking up, he got serious and morose and began in a low voice.

 _Don't give me a love that is subtle. If you're coming for me, come bare knuckled, with guns blazing. Come wipe the soot off my heart from being burned before. And come bravely, or not at all. Timidity bores me, and anything ordinary must be meant for someone else. Not me. I want love like lightning, and passion that's borderline violent._

 _I still remember walking away from my body, and if I can do that, what makes you think I'll wait for anything that isn't everything?_

 _I'm not in this for safety and security, give me your knives, and cut me open, but, please, cut me deeply. Some of us become so calloused that our touch is too rough for anyone soft. My heart is black, my eyes are wide, I don't smile as much, but I'll always love too hard. Or not at all._

He finished and rubbed his eyes in exasperation. When he was done, he looked dead at the camera, his eyes asking _what do you want from me._

* * *

Alright, so this was a short one, with much pomp and circumstance. I try to avoid this stuff, but the next couple of chapters are probably gonna be this type of over-the-top drama.

The poem at the end, by the way, is by J. Raymond, an indie poet you might have seen among your friends' inspirational posts on Facebook. It reminded me of Lauren when it popped up on my feed, so I actually tailored this whole outburst around it.

On a different note, thank you for the follows and the positive reinforcement, I've found I'm a real sucker for that stuff and it really gets me into gear to want to update :)


	28. I Don't Mind

I really don't want you to be alone. – Hannah said while she was driving Lauren back home. After the whole scene at the office, there was no way Lauren was staying and she decided to take her back to the house. But right now, Hannah honestly didn't know which way was up. - But I don't know what to do with you. I have to go to New York – she checked her watch – fuck! Very soon. And Jim will be there. And Michael will hear what happened at the office. What do I do? I don't want to leave you alone, but…you can't…come. Obviously. – She was thinking out loud. – Jesus Christ. – She muttered. – Did you really have to pull this fucking stunt _now?_

Yes. – Lauren answered, monotone.

Oh, for the love of god! – Hannah parked two blocks away from their house and undid her seatbelt to be able to turn to Lauren. – What do I do now? Seriously. You're sitting there, half dead, and I'm supposed to be there as you lick your wounds. Who the hell is gonna be there for me, huh? This is a huge deal for me, Lauren. I'm having a really big interview in New York! And I'm traveling there in a matter of hours with your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend at this stage, who you just thoroughly humiliated. Out of the blue! What am I supposed to say when he inevitably asks me about it? Furthermore, how am I supposed to react? I'm on the brink of shitting myself with nerves and now I have to worry about your slicing your wrists while I'm gone? You know how conflicted I am about my whole life right now, Lauren. I just can't believe you would pull this, what are you trying to do? Tell me! – She finished yelling and berating her and sat there, fuming.

Lauren was quiet, thinking about what Hannah said. She knew she was right, Hannah was going through a lot. But fuck it, so was she. – I think I was trying – Lauren started in a quiet croaky voice – to burn those bridges and burn them good. Because I am _terrified._ I had to break it off with Jim, there was no other way. But then I saw that my whole life made no sense anymore. I have hardly any friends. I'm working a job that I hate. And if I'm not with Jim and he leaves for New York, what I am doing? I don't have anywhere to go, anywhere to be. I was worried that I might stay in Scranton just for fear of starting again. So I had to make sure that wasn't an option. – She explained, wringing her hands in anguish and embarrassment. – And you're right, I'm sorry, maybe I should have picked a better time…

No, stop it, just stop, please. – Hannah shook her head, putting her seatbelt back on. – You're heartbroken, I'm freaking furious, we're not gonna settle this now. I can't… I can't think about all this now. I'm gonna drive you home, get my bags and I'm going somewhere to clear my head. And you can sit at home and wallow in your misery and think about what you've done. – She started the car again and they were silent till they turned the corner of their street.

* * *

They came into the house and Joe was sitting on their couch. Hannah was the first to enter and she got startled.

Ah! – She jumped back and bumped into Lauren who was shuffling behind. – Shit! Oh my god, Joe? – One of her hands shot to her mouth and the other to her chest. – What are you doing here, how did you get in?

He walked up to her and gave her a big, reassuring hug. – Hey, beautiful, you okay? – He rubbed her back and the side of her arms till she nodded. – Lauren showed me where you kept the spare key, sorry I startled you.

Lauren was standing by the door, looking embarrassed and pitiful. Joe noticed the lack of Hannah's usual sympathy and the tension between them. – So how's things?

Not too good. – Hannah answered immediately, not bothering to disguise her feelings. – It's actually wonderful and super convenient that you're here, because I'm leaving. – She brushed past Joe as she explained, to get her coat and then her bags. – I hope you had a good trip, I hope it's not super inconvenient for you to be here on such short notice-although it obviously must be, but hey, who cares? – She spat as she whirled around the living the room and Lauren seemed to be shrinking in shame as she did. – Have a great time. – She gave him and quick kiss on the cheek and headed for the door.

Oh, yeah, you have that interview. How you feeling about it? – He asked after her.

Hannah stopped and sighed. – Not too good. - She repeated curtly. - Listen, I can't stay here any longer, I'm about to lose my mind.

Joe stepped closer. – Hey, no, come on. Stay. We'll talk, we'll get you relaxed. I missed you guys. – He was playing every card he could think of.

No, I really can't. We'll talk when I get back if you're still here. – Without saying goodbye, Hannah slammed the door and soon they heard her car drive off.

* * *

Lauren was in no state to talk about what just happened and she begged Joe to tell her crazy, hilarious stories from the road to distract her. Within two hours, they had raided the house and had every bottle of alcohol and every bit of junk food in the house on the coffee table. And couch. And floor. They even broke into Joe's emergency weed stash and were doing their best to dissociate.

Joe had told her about janky strippers in Arizona, bar fights in Berlin, dropping acid in Maine and a threeway in California that ended in his losing a shoe and having to sleep in a friend's car cause he got locked out of his hotel room.

So anyway, I tell the team if Jefferson can catch an STD from some slut in Arizona and be incapacitated for a month, I can take a few days off to heal a broken heart. And I got on a plane and I'm here. – He shrugged. – Those were the highlights of the past few months. Now I can go into the minutia of Jefferson's STD or we can maybe discuss what's going on. – He squeezed Lauren's knee in support.

After some more coaxing, he finally got her to tell him the whole story, from beginning to end, how she first started seeing and suspecting things to now, how she made this huge spectacle. She was switching from crying hysterically to laughing manically and he just let her get it all out. At the end of it, she collapsed on the couch next to him and went into a fetal position. Sadness, weed, booze and junk food was a weird combo, one that Joe was more equipped to handle than Lauren.

Okay, hey, no catatonia, alright? – He crouched next to her and pet her head. – Let's get some music on, let's relax, let the weed kinda just run its course. Can you sit up for me? – He took her wrists and pulled them a little, but she was exhausted from crying, she didn't have enough strength to pull herself up.

After he managed to prop her up, Joe left her a bottle of water, which she didn't have enough motor skill to drink herself and went into the kitchen to make a healthy meal for dinner. Lauren was tossing around the couch, playing music which included Tool, Pear Jam, Joy Division… Anything depressing and latently angry.

* * *

Hours dragged on and the evening was approaching. Joe was finishing dinner up and dancing for Lauren in an apron and she was revving herself up for the _I don't mind_ portion of Tool's H. when the doorbell rang.

Fuck off! –Lauren dragged out grumpily as she hugged the pillow on the couch.

Hey, what if it's Hannah? – Joe gave her a quick smack on the head and rushed to the door, turning the volume of the music down as well, wary that maybe someone had made a noise complaint.

It was Jim. He was in jeans and a hoodie as he was prepared to fly. He had a messenger bag around him and he held two plane tickets in his hand. When he saw Joe, it first took a second for the sight to sink in. This man. In this apron. At this place. Now. He closed his eyes and laughed an aggravated laugh.

Hey, man. – Joe understood his reaction and greeted him in a very civil fashion. – I know you're probably not thrilled to see me here when you came for Lauren…

Probably not, no. – Jim deadpanned.

Joe swallowed and continued. – And it was big of you, actually, to come here – I know what happened and I know you have a job interview, but she's really not in a good place. She couldn't even close her fists this afternoon. – He finished, sure that this was a clear sign of utter exhaustion and depression to anybody.

Jim pondered for a while, eyeing Joe. – I need to see her before I go. – He stated, no room for discussion.

By this time, Lauren had managed to get up and get to the door and realize who was there. – Hey, man. Listen, you're interrupting a really stellar blowjob here, okay? Why don't you go to your mousy little mistress? – She draped herself over Joe's massive shoulder and glared at Jim petulantly. Joe's eyes widened in shock and he gave Jim an apologetic look. Jim's lip curled in disgust, but he cleared his throat and spoke.

I really wanted to work this out. I wanted to explain there was nothing going on between Pam and I. And to give you a chance to explain. And _apologize_. – This irritated Lauren and she was about to spit out something venomous again, but Jim just continued. – I still wanted you to come with me and let all this crap go. - He said disappointedly. - But you know what? I'm gonna marry Pam. I'm gonna kiss her and love her and _make_ love to her and we're gonna be ecstatically happy and laugh and laugh and laugh at what we did to you. - He sank to her spiteful level and taunted her. - Our big secret master plan of ruining your life by my taking you to Scranton and falling in love with you. - His facade broke for a moment, but he tool a breath and was ready to continue.

Hey, man, let's not do this, she's not in her right mind… - Joe tried to stop Jim as he kept raising his voice saying these ridiculous things. Lauren was looking around like a lost child, trying not to break down again, but too disoriented to effectively get away.

Jim ignored Joe and continued. – _That_ was the big plan. We were playing the long game where we were miserable for years and trying to move on. Then moving to a different city and dating other people just so we could ruin _their_ lives. _That_ was the point of being with you all this time and planning a life with you. Just to hurt you in the end. – He hung his head in defeat and sighed. – I can't believe this is happening. – He said to himself. Before leaving, he made sure to make eye contact with Lauren and hold it till she was listening. – I am very sorry – he began emphatically, sounding every word out – for all the paranoia in your head. I hope you get better. And I am devastated you chose to ruin our relationship. – He ended up speaking sternly and bitterly and Lauren found herself wishing she were dead just so didn't have to suffer through this. – You take care of her, Joe. I honestly hope you're good at it since I obviously wasn't. – He nodded a goodbye to him and turned on his heels. To prevent Lauren from seeing him go, Joe closed the door immediately, but gingerly and dragged her back inside.


	29. Vroom

Hannah knocked on Danny's door, bags around her. He answered and was shocked she was there.

Sweetie! – He exclaimed, eyes wide. – What are you do-, aren't you gonna be late? – He spun around, looking for something. Hannah just stood there, watching him calmly and contentedly. He finally found what he was looking for. – Come on, I'm driving you! – He said, grabbing her hand and luggage, with his gym locker key in hand. He realized the mistake and also that he was barefoot, it being late May at the moment, so he popped back into the house, frantically searching for footwear and car keys. Hannah opted to stop him before he demolished the place or hurt himself. Knowing his scattered brain-ness, she knew he wasn't gonna find anything.

Sweetie, wait. – She gently wrapped an arm around his shoulder and led him into the living room. – I'm not going. – She said keeping strong eye contact, so he knew she was serious.

What, why? – He asked, turning around to face her and she knew a pep talk was coming. Danny was indefatigably positive and supportive.

She nipped it in the bud. – No, listen. Realistically, there's people better qualified for the job than me. – Danny sucked in a breath to protest, but she raised a finger, shutting him up, and continued. – But more than that, I _really_ don't want it. I don't want the job. I don't want to have to move. I don't want to leave _here_. And… - Her palms were clammy and, even in her nervous state, she registered how corny that is. – I don't wanna leave you. – Very sweetly, Danny's jaw literally dropped and he melted into the couch, staring at her. – Before you say anything, how I'm missing a great opportunity or how I'm gonna resent you later or how you don't want to be the reason why I don't go or how we can find a compromise or do this long distance and all the other stuff that might pop up in your head, I thought about it, you're wrong – she joked and pushed his knee - and I've made the decision. It's done. It just wasn't the right time or the right job. That's all.

While she was babbling, Danny continued t stare at her and wrapped her in a big sincere hug when she finished. – Oh, thank god! – The words came muffled in her hair and sofa cushions. – Maybe I oughta say something selfless and whatnot, but _thank god_! I'm so happy you're staying, whatever the reason. – He laughed.

After some recalibrating of their future in Scranton and a longer rendering of her though process that ended in her deciding to stay, plus some giddy excited tlc, they were spooning on the sofa in comfortable silence.

Oh! – Danny propped his head on his elbow, remembering something. – So Jim's going alone now?

There it was. The other thing that made her nervous. She imagined that any time that fights or break ups happened in the unlikely pairing of two best friends and two other best friends, it was mortifying to discuss it or take sides. In this case, there was blame on both sides, but the moment that it happened, the timing, is so tense and charged, it felt no good could come of discussing it even in the aftermath.

Um… - Hannah sighed, not sure what to say. – Yeah, I guess.

Cause when I said bye to him, he was in a real bad mood, but I thinking, hey, at least he's gonna have you for company. – Danny continued.

Mh hm. – Hannah continued with neutral, diplomatic sounds.

Danny was quiet for a second and continued in a somber tone. – They broke up, didn't they?

Oh, shit, here it comes. – Yeah. – Hannah breathed sympathetically.

I told him not to propose before the interview, he's an idiot. – Danny shook his head.

What?! – Hannah jerked up and sat upright, staring at him in bewilderment.

You didn't know? Yeah, we went out a couple weeks after their ten month anniversary and he bought a ring. He was gonna do it on their one year anniversary, but then he decided to do it New York. But I guess he changed his mind and did it now.

Hannah's hand was covering her gaping mouth and she was shaking her head.

Yeah, I know, it's insane. It's way too soon. But that's Jim for ya. – He rolled his eyes good naturedly. – I'm just sorry they broke up, I never thought it would escalate like that.

Hannah was now staring at the floor in disbelief, head in her hands.

* * *

The next morning, rather, afternoon, Lauren woke up still feeling quite horrendous, but at least she was well rested. Joe was already up, squeaky clean and clean shaven, with fresh clothes and a bowl of oatmeal and cup of strong coffee for her.

Mooorning. – He said in a sing songy voice. – Finally, you're up, I was bored as shit. Here's your breakfast, go take a shower- you're fucking disgusting- and then we're going out. – He instructed her as he pulled up the blinds and opened the window. Lauren obeyed wordlessly.

As she was in the shower, thinking of what to do now, she remembered something she had dreamed of for a long time and it felt like the perfect thing to do. It felt really good to scrub herself clean and let the water work its magic. As she showered, she tried hard not to think about how she was feeling, but while she dried her hair, looking at her reflection in the mirror, it became impossible not to. It surprised her that she didn't break down and cry or feel devastated. She searched for the right word and _numb_ came to mind. _Like a fucking teenager, huh? Numb._ Like the inside of her body was static on the TV. She felt strangely removed from what happened in the past few days. As if it was a story someone had told her once. But still real enough to have consequences – what is she gonna do? How does she go back into that office? And what happens if she sees Jim, in a week, in a year, in ten years? Will she apologize? Will he? Will he be married to Pam? She shut her eyes and grunted to fill her head with noise and get the intrusive thoughts out of there.

* * *

She came out of the shower and found Joe watching the Animal Planet and dipping using her couch.

Alright, you clearly need to get your sweet ass to the gym. And it's too late to go into work. – Lauren sighed. – By the way, how does a letter of resignation work? Or a two week notice? Is it the same thing? I've never had to do that. – She lost her train of thought. – Anyway. Pack your shit, I'm taking you to the gym. And while you're there, I'm gonna take care of some stuff.

You're not coming? – Joe got to his feet. Lauren shook her head no, mouth full of cold, bitter coffee. – Because, the way I see it, you're currently in shock. Or denial. Either way, a good workout would help you feel better. And then, this phase of grieving is over, you're gonna get depressed and do the female thing of crying and devouring tubs of ice cream.

I think you're confusing romantic comedies for documentaries. – She swallowed and retorted.

And you're gonna get all fat. So I'm saying you should get those cellulite-ridden ass cheeks to the gym, babe. – He finished his pep talk.

Wasn't Kat a big ole fatty? – Lauren said snidely. Katherine was Joe's chiropractor and he fell for her hard. Another thing that separated her from the other girls he dated was that she was short and a little soft in the middle, the opposite of his usual type. So whenever she wanted to deliver a swift, painful prick to his heart, she would say something derogatory about her or remind him how she dumped him.

Joe looked down and smiled to himself. – Nope, she was Rubenesque in a really delightful way. Besides, all you skinny bitches are vain and uncomfortable to cuddle with.

Ipso facto, I should get fat. – Lauren shrugged and devoured the oatmeal.

* * *

After his training, Joe was standing outside of the gym with one of the trainers. They had an amicable chat about supplements and definition, but Lauren was late, which was unlike her and Joe wished she would hurry up and get there. Soon enough, they heard a motorcycle stop behind them and Lauren called them over.

What. The fuck? – Joe turned around, eyes rolling. – Are you kidding me? You got a bike?

Yeah. – Lauren shrugged, like it was silly question to ask. – I'd always wanted one and first, my parents wouldn't let me, then you and Hannah wouldn't let me, then Jim wouldn't let me. But now, I can do whatever I want. And my car was breaking down anyway.

No, what was an oil change, babe. If you weren't an idiot, you'd know that's something you routinely have to do. It doesn't mean your car is breaking down. – Joe waved goodbye to the trainer and made his way to Lauren, arms flailing in shock and protest.

Whatever. Get on. – She extended a helmet to him.

No. – He pushed it away, getting serious.

What, are you afraid? Come one, don't be a little puss, you'll be fine. – Lauren teased.

No. I don't like this. I don't like this at all for you. – He explained and crossed his arms.

Oh, shut it. You have plenty of friends who ride bikes, and most of them do way worse things, too. And you can't come around and tell me your stories of smuggling stuff across borders, doing drugs and catching STDs and then give me grief about getting a piddling little bike. – Lauren challenged.

Sure, but we're dickheads. And bad things never happen to dickheads. They happen to good girls who try to be tough after life does them dirt and they go off and buy death traps thinking that's gonna fix their broken heart. – Joe told her earnestly.

Lauren sighed and rubbed her eyes. It was always touching for her when Joe spoke in tender, friendly terms, it made him seem fatherly and it made her feel secure. She had been missing that recently. – Well, for one thing, it's done. I already traded my car for it. And also, I'm not doing it to defy anyone, I just really want it. Just hop on, let me give you a ride, you'll love it. – She said suggestively and extended the helmet to him again.

He contemplated it for a while and finally put it on. – Alright, but on the record, I am not happy about this.

They rode around for about an hour and then stopped for lunch.

* * *

It was the late afternoon at the office and people were ambling about. Jim, Hannah, Lauren and Michael weren't there.

Pam was on cloud nine, half of her attention devoted to jumping on the phone as soon as it rang, hoping it might be Jim with some news and the other half to refreshing her inbox. Apparently, she was waiting for something and was careful not to let any of the cameras catch a glimpse of her screen, occasionally giving them an apologetic, conspiratory smile.

Dwight was trying to play boss and oversee everyone's work, but he and Angela disappeared after lunch.

Andy was giving unsolicited advice about how acapella helped him overcome his anger and had healing powers, which he felt everyone needed after the unfortunate event between Lauren and Jim.

Kelly, as always, used the world of the rich and famous to make sense of events around her and finally decided that this was like Brad Pitt moved from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie, but then she dumped him and now she was trying to figure out if this meant Brad and Jen were meant to be or if he'd be settling. In the end, she googled _Legends of the Fall_ and set a young Brad Pitt as her desktop.

All in all, little work was done and most people waited with bated breath for tomorrow, when most everybody would be back and this situation would continue to unfold.

* * *

That evening, Joe was packing and making arrangements to meet his team in Vegas tomorrow. Now that Lauren no longer had a car, he had to call a cab to drive him to the airport. It would be there in a couple of minutes, so they took his stuff out and waited outside the house.

Alright, so you have your letter of resignation, you prepared a speech for your boss. I'll ask you once again to reconsider the bike. – Joe advised, but Lauren shook her head no. - Fair enough. Say bye to Hannah for me, I'm sorry I didn't get to see her. If she's still talking to you, that is. – Joe jibed.

Lauren gave weak smile, but she genuinely didn't know what to do about her situation with Hannah.

Relax. I'm sure she'll do what all chicks do when they're mad; give you a hard for a few days and then realize they've long forgiven you.

Lauren was going to reprimand him for constantly stereotyping women, but damn it, he was right about 80% of the time.

They shared a long, warm hug – Joe was a firm believer in hugs having to last at least 15 seconds to count – and stayed close, with one arm around each other for a while.

So what are you gonna do about work now? – Joe asked.

I don't know, really, I haven't thought about it. I might have to go back to Stamford for a while. – She wasn't thrilled about returned home, especially under these circumstances.

Well, you know you can always go on the road with me. – Joe offered quite seriously.

Doing what? – Lauren furrowed her eyebrows.

I dunno, who cares. We'll find something for you. – He shrugged and his eyes lit up. – That would amazing! Imagine us, traveling all over, partying…

In some ways, it was like being asked to join the Lost Boys. It sounded like a great escape, but at the end of the day, you're surrounded by boys who refuse to grow up. On steroids.

The cab pulled up and they started loading up his bags.

Maybe, why not. – Lauren answered. – You figure it out and tell me what you got for me.

They shared two kisses on the cheek and another hearty hug and Lauren waved him off.

* * *

The next morning, Lauren felt terribly nervous and self-conscious about going back to Dunder-Mifflin. However, she finally managed to pick an outfit that wasn't too sexy or matronly or too put together or too casual. Now, after she tried very hard to look like she hadn't tried at all, letter in hand, she did her best to keep her mind clear and not to imagine scenarios and think about her embarrassment.

She came near the building, but then thought it better to park her bike somewhere in the back. If people see her, they might alert Jim or Hannah or simply think she made some pathetic rash decision after the… incident. So she drove around the back and decided to park near the warehouse.

As she was turning, the bike suddenly started wobbling under her, even though she was meant to be on stable ground. Then, as if it were a thrashing horse, it knocked her off. She sprang forward and landed hard on her shoulder. Then she toppled over and rolled, finishing flat on her back before it all went to black.


	30. Sinkhole de Mayo

Hey, everybody! I feel bad I hadn't updated for so long, but I really couldn't find time to bang this one out, a lot needed to happen. Anywho, thank you for your patience and interest in the story, hope you like it :)

* * *

Lauren would come to afew times and then kinda black out again for what seemed like days. She didn't pass out and fall down or anything, she just had weird…lapses. Images were dancing in her head as she was trying to piece together what had happened. The first one was of Darryl's booming voice and meaty arms picking her up. She felt sore, she had fallen down hard and was pinned under her bike. She also felt a little wet and dirty. Next was a stark contrast of a well-lit, sterile room and a bright light shining in her eyes as the soothing voice of a doctor gave her instructions. Then later Kurt, her camera guy, stroking her forehead lightly and explaining something to her before he was told to resume his work. Again Darryl, asking some questions. Then a headache, the room often spinning and tilting, and blinking slowly, feeling like she passed out every time her eyelids shut. It felt like days.

She lifted her arms to her face to rub the daze out of her eyes, but they soon felt heavy and dropped. A nurse appeared and started talking to her.

Hello, Lauren. How do you feel? – The fresh faced woman asked with the perfect mix of cheer and comfort.

Um… - Lauren searched for one word that encapsulated everything. – I…disoriented, I guess.

The nurse nodded knowingly. – That's normal, don't worry. I don't want you to panic when I tell you this, ok, but you had a small accident and suffered a concussion.

There was a quick twitch of fear deep in her center, but the fact those images and feelings now made sense soon replaced the panic. Lauren's mouth formed an O and she nodded. It hurt a little to nod and she winced.

Do you feel faint? It's been a few hours since we admitted you, it would be a good idea to eat something. – The nurse suggested. – You may also feel a little nauseated. If you do, just buzz me and I'll get you something, ok? – She smiled and searched Lauren's face.

Lauren resisted the urge to nod and smiled back, saying that she would.

There is man here to see you. Do you feel up to it? – The nurse asked as she headed out.

Er… - Lauren hesitated for a second, not knowing who it was and what he wanted. The past few days were so dramatic and out of the ordinary, she felt very nervous and vulnerable.

It's Michael. – Kurt said quietly and urged her to see him.

Yes, okay. – Lauren answered the nurse and took a deep breath, thanking Kurt with her eyes.

* * *

Michael came in, taking strange long strides, probably trying to look confident and purposeful. He first looked up at the camera. Although it's been years, he never quite got used to the cameras and learn to be natural.

Hello, Lauren. How are you feeling? – He sat on a chair near her bed.

Hello. – She answered in a small voice. – Not too bad, I think. – She really wasn't sure how to answer that.

I was wondering how much you recall about your accident? – Michael asked, first smiling invitingly, but that smile soon became frozen and agonized.

Lauren was distracted by his face and took a few seconds to formulate an answer, only deepening his agony. – I'm not sure, actually. I know I was riding my motorcycle to work and suddenly, I lost control, I guess. I think I must have, um… Hit something? I dunno, I just suddenly flipped with the bike. And now I'm here. – She shrugged. Hearing herself say this aloud made her think. What if she hit something in the parking lot? Does she have to pay for it? What was going on?

Michael's head dropped down and he groaned. – No, actually. A small sinkhole opened in the parking lot. Darryl heard a commotion and found you pinned under the bike inside it.

Lauren's eyebrows receded into her hairline. – A sinkhole? – The word felt alien in her mouth. She thought she once heard about a sinkhole eating someone's house on the news.

Yeah… - Michael dragged out dejectedly. – Darryl now tells me that there were some cracks in the parking lot before, but no one thought anything of it at the time. And now some guys are saying they heard running water under them sometimes, but thought they were imagining it. but now we know it was a sinkhole in the making.

Lauren listened to this, completely enthralled by the words coming out of Michael's mouth, for the first time ever.

Michael paused and rubbed his eyes for a second, reluctant to continue. – Because of this, – he choked out – it would seem like we could have prevented the accident. – He bit his lip nervously, looking at Lauren like she should already guess his meaning. She felt uncomfortable, not getting it and wanting this weird tense interaction to end.

Yeah? – She asked with a queasy look on her face.

Yeah. – Michael let out a frustrated breath and searched for words. – The long and short of it is, now you can totally sue us. – He plopped back into the chair like a man defeated. – From what Jan and Toby said, you could totally win too. – He raised his arms into the air and then let them fall.

What? No, Michael… - Lauren started to explain, but Michael continued.

No, no. You got hurt during working hours, on our grounds. You sustained an injury to your neck and shoulder and a concussion. Also, Jim totally cheated on you with Pam, so you can probably also sue for emotional damage, too. Urgh! – He slid lower down the chair, like he was trying to disappear. – This is so bad. – He muttered. Lauren really felt sorry for him for being so emotional and obviously revealing a lot of things he shouldn't have, so much so that she let the Jim comment go.

Michael. Michael. – She had to call him a couple times before she got his attention. He looked up like child that just wanted to sulk in a corner and was instead being lectured by his mom. – I have no intention of suing you. – Lauren said earnestly. – I really…did some inappropriate things, it would be ridiculous if I tried. – She closed her eyes in embarrassment. – I was actually on my way to turn in my two weeks notice. Or preferably, just quit on the spot. – She gave him an apologetic and reassuring look.

Michael was silent for a few moments. – No. – He said simply, flatly refusing to fire her.

Michael… - Lauren started in a supplicating tone.

No, you can't quit. Why? – He leaned forward and challenged.

It would have been easy to call the place a landfill of hope and ambition and insult every person who worked there, but somehow, she didn't feel up to it. Instead, she decided to tell him the truth, knowing he had faced similar situations and had a similar urge to distance himself. – Well, Jim and I are no longer together. And I…insulted pretty much everyone at the office. And caused a rather ugly scene. So even if I wanted to continue working there, I don't think I'd be welcome. But honestly, I just don't think it's the place for me. – Lauren shrugged and finally looked Michael in the eyes, having been too embarrassed to do so before.

He laced his fingers and rested his chin, nodding wisely. – That's no reason to quit. Kelly and Ryan are always on and off and neither of them has ever quit. and every last person has done something insane in the office. Dwight tried to steal my job. Jim _managed_ to steal my job. Twice. – Lauren's heart sank as she realized Jim had been hired in New York. As usual, the rational brain rattled off reason why this was a good thing, but there was still a toxic empty feeling in her bones knowing he'd be so far away. – Phyllis bold-facedly stole Pam's wedding. Oscar hijacked the office and took three months off. Ryan set the office on fire! – Michael exclaimed. – What did you do, anyway? – He asked, honestly not knowing, because he had left for New York early, but confident it could not be as bad as what he just mentioned.

Lauren sighed. – I revealed some very private things about Jim in a very ugly way and said extremely harsh words to everyone else. Honestly, they all have every right to hate me. – For some reason, all their faces flashed before her eyes and she felt close to tears. It was always like this, she flies into a fit of anger and then chastises herself forever after.

Michael was quiet and finally muttered. – I sent nude pictures of Jan to everyone in the warehouse. One of the guys had them printed on a calendar. - Lauren couldn't help but burst into laughter. – More so than anybody being upset, you can't leave. Meredith and Creed are the worst! We need someone in Quality Assurance to do the actual work.

Michael, I really can't. – Lauren tried to explain.

Alright, let's say you quit. What are you gonna do? Where are you gonna live? What is your new career? - Michael asked.

Lauren shook her head and regretted it as pain spread though it. – I don't know. But I really don't think I should stay at Dunder-Mifflin. It's too weird and uncomfortable now.

Okay, you know what? Let's make a deal. Even if I wanted to let you go now, no way would Jan let me after what happened today. Why don't you come back and see what happens? Just a for a little while! – Michael added before Lauren could whine again. – See if it's as bad as you think. And if you find a new job and have things figured out by the time we fix the sinkhole and this blows over, I will let you go and give you a nice severance. – He sweetened the deal and stuck his hand out.

Lauren couldn't find a valid reason to say no and honestly, after everything that happened, the last thing she wanted was to not be able to make rent and further upset Hannah. Besides, this was a new side of Michael and, in her state, she welcomed and appreciated kindness and patience. She took his hand with both of hers and smiled. – Thank you, Michael. You are a good man.

He let out a boyish laugh, looking at the floor, flattered and embarrassed. – Oh, yeah, I need to call Hannah. She asked if I could let her know when you woke up. She really wants to see you.

Nervous once more, Lauren swallowed, but decided not to protest. Michael left and said he would return. In between visits, Lauren was checked up on, given some food and told her the scans that were done show no significant damage. She would have to wear a neck brace for a few days just in case and take it easy because of the concussion, but she would recover completely in a couple of weeks.

* * *

Hannah stopped in the doorway and her eyes filled with tears seeing Lauren pale and in a neck brace.

Lauren's instinct was to apologize for her earlier behavior and she debated whether to let her know she's fine first or apologize. She opened her mouth and closed it and then the words came in a blurred string. – I'm fine don't worry I'm so sorry I'm so I'm such an idiot

Hannah rushed to her side and sat on the edge of the bed, stroking her arm, afraid to give the hug that was burning a hole in her chest. When Lauren leaned forward, she took the cue and squeezed her close.

I'm sorry too. I know you're going through a lot. And it _so_ doesn't matter right now, I was horrified when they told me. – She took Lauren's face in her hands and examined her. Hannah's genuine concern brought tears to her eyes. She hardly ever cried, so it gave her a terrible headache, it made shake and sweat. She was crying a lot recently, which made her frustrated, which in turn made her weepy. It was exhausting.

Listen… - Lauren started.

Recognizing that tone, Hannah cut her off. – No, stop. So much has happened recently, we could dissect it for days and still get nowhere. Water under the bridge. I just want to know you're okay.

I am. Thank you. I love you. – Lauren pulled Hannah into another hug.

I love you so much. – She hugged her back and then sat up. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but didn't know how to go about it.

What is it? – Lauren relaxed onto her pillows, still brimming with emotion, but feeling much better knowing Hannah would forgive her.

Erm, nothing. There something I should tell you, but now is not the time. I don't know if it makes a difference anymore. – She said the last thing to herself and Lauren looked at her puzzled. – Don't worry. Just relax, rest. When you come to the office, you'll have to go see Toby to talk about the whole accident thing.

And what about my…farewell? – Lauren asked, remembering and getting anxious again.

Hannah snorted. – After the accident, nobody's talking about it. Listen, I gotta go, I'm on my lunch break, I don't wanna be too late. Darryl and Michael will be back later to see you. – She paused again, like there was something more, but decided against sharing it. – Be good, okay? – She advised and gave a kiss before leaving.

* * *

The next time the nurse came to check on her, Lauren asked when she could leave. The nurse informed her that her boss said someone would pick her up and drive her home when they released her. If her condition remained the same, she might be discharged tonight or the next morning. She was allowed to get up a little and stretch her legs. She felt a little shaky getting up, her blood pressure was low and her legs were a little wobbly. Kurt's camera shook as he jerked forward to help her, but she found her balance and said she was fine and thanked him. After a short walk, Lauren went back to bed, watching TV and nodding off.

She wasn't in a deep sleep, so the rustling of paper woke her. As she blinked the sleep out of her eyes, she saw a tall frame arranging flowers on the bedside table. Jim felt satisfied with how the flowers rested on the table and, nonplussed by Lauren's slight tensing up and sitting up on the bed, pulled the chair close to her bed before looking at her. When he did, she felt like was a rabbit caught in the headlights of a truck, heart almost beating right through her chest and running in panicked circles. Jim, however, looked endlessly calm. Lids slightly drooping over his large eyes like everything was right in the world and he had the answers to all the question and the patience to answer them. They looked at each other in silence for a while till Lauren gathered her wits.

When she did, Jim started. – Hi. – He said, his face neutral, but his tone nurturing and sympathetic.

Hi. – Lauren's was short and slightly high pitched.

Jim looked to the flowers. – I really have no idea what people bring to someone in the hospital. I think I saw some people bring flowers and balloons in a movie once, but that might have been for a new mom and her baby. – He continued in the same calm tone, like there was nothing bothering him.

Lauren swallowed and was about to thank him, but he continued. – So I dunno, lilies looked pretty. Hopefully they cheer you up. Oh, and uh, - He reached into his pocket. – I got you that vitamin supplement you like. – He pulled out a bottle, wiggled it as he spoke and set on the table, next to lilies, his eyes following the bottle.

She smiled faintly and said thank you in a low, sad tone. Sad mostly because she had no idea what he was doing here and what to say next.

He smiled, looking a little sadder himself, not looking away from the table. After a long, heavy pause, he took a breath and adjusted his tone. – So how do you feel? Have you felt any changes in the past few hours?

I think I'm pretty good. – Lauren tried to sound casual, but convincing. – I just have a bit of headache and I think there was a bit of shock when it all happened. But the doctors said it wasn't serious.

As she spoke, he looked her all over, examining. He then smiled genuinely. – Good, I'm so glad. – His expression slowly changed as silence and tension filled the room again. Try as he might, there was sadness and disappointment there that he couldn't mask.

Feeling tears again, Lauren closed her eyes so she wouldn't see that face anymore and put on a tortured smile. – What do we do now? What do we talk about? – She asked, her voice guttural and weepy, not opening her eyes. Jim remained quiet until she looked at him.

We don't have to talk about anything. – He said as he arched his back, reaching for her hand. He took it and first looked at it for a moment, stroking it gently. Then he slowly brought it to his lips, kissed it and ran it across his cheek. Lauren looked at him do this for a while, but as her eyes filled and threatened to spill over, she turned her head and torso away, not able to move her neck much in the brace. She wiped one side of her face with her free hand and Jim let go of the other. He stood up and stroked her face as he wiped away the rest.

Take it easy. – He said in a low voice. – God, I hate seeing you cry. – He said, his eyes a little red too.

Again, not able to look at him, Lauren covered her face with her hands and they fell silent. – I'm sorry. – She murmured, apologizing for everything and nothing in particular. As she collected herself, she tried to lighten the mood. – Thank you for that. – She pointed at the table. – That was very kind of you.

He snorted, there was a little scoff in there too, at her formal tone. – No problem.

Michael told me you got that job. – Lauren finally managed a smile.

Yeah. – Jim nodded, smiling back weakly.

To make sure he knew she meant it, Lauren held his gaze for a few seconds. – Congratulations, that's amazing. – She later added – I'm not surprised.

Thank you. – He was smiling warmly back at her. – So, a bike, huh? – He shook his head.

Yeah, I thought why not. – Lauren tried to shrug, but her brace mostly held her in place. – Is this why you came back from New York? – She asked before she could stop herself. What was the point of asking it? She didn't know. It wouldn't change anything.

Jim was wringing his hands and it seemed to occupy all of his attention. When he looked at her, he was looking at her in a way he usually looked at her in the bedroom. It immediately accelerated her breathing. He got up and came close to her, looking her face up and down, from the lips to the jaw line and eyebrows. He then kissed her forehead, slow and hard.

I'll see you soon. – He said before he left, voice deep and hoarse.

* * *

Jim headed towards the office. It was tough seeing Lauren after the break up, especially finding her in the hospital. He didn't really want to be going to the office, or to even be in Scranton right now, but he hoped that they would at least cheer him up a little there. As he drove up, he saw the landscapers measuring things and talking to some guys from the warehouse. The hole itself was large enough to fit one of their large delivery trucks probably. Not huge, but still somewhat scary. It was also muddy in there. He was asked to park somewhere else, most of the parking lot was empty and being examined.

Once inside the building, people had heard the good news about his job and, although they were also talking about Lauren's accident and wanting to hear his thoughts, they were excited for him and showering him with praise and congratulations. Jim was especially relieved to know Hannah and Michael had no hard feelings about it. Hannah was, in fact, doubly happy since she had decided it wasn't right for her _and_ her boyfriend's best friend got a great new job. After he talked to most everyone, he went into the break room and made two cups of coffee.

He thought he had noticed Lauren wavering and softening up. Naturally, he wanted to pounce on her immediately and try to convince her to get back together. But knowing her, he managed to resist that urge. Driving back to the office, he thought of going to Pam. Trying to find a way to politely ask her to talk to Lauren and explain there was never anything between them. Well, no. That was a lie. But explain to her that he never cheated on her and assure her there was nothing going on between them. This would be awkward in any situation, but given their history, especially the recent one, it would be very hard to find a tactful way of asking.

There was a commotion around the office and he used it to slip by reception.

Hey, Pam. – He started. – Could you come to the break room with me?

Pam beamed up at him, like a kid seeing Santa, glanced shyly at the camera pointing at them and nodded.

* * *

They sat in silence, Jim contemplating what exactly to say and Pam obliviously sipping her coffee and looking at the table giddily.

It's exactly the way I like it, thanks. – She smacked her lips and shot him a smile.

Jim laughed nervously.

Hey, listen. I know I already congratulated you, but there was something I didn't want to say in front of everybody. – Pam started and Jim swallowed, letting her speak. – And I think you're in need of some good news. – She announced and paused for effect, the words almost exploding out of her mouth. – I got into an art program in New York! – She squealed excitedly.

What? – Jim thrust his head forward in surprise. Pam jumped to her feet, expecting a big congratulatory hug. Jim obliged and mustered up excitement as he stumbled getting up to his feet. They hugged and Pam laughed all the way through.

Yeah, for years, I put that on hold because of Roy and, I dunno, my job or whatever. But I decided to try and then this job of yours came up and I just thought it must be a sign, it's so perfect. – She grabbed his forearms and squeezed them.

I'm so happy for you, you deserve to get it. It's… - He searched for words as he instructed his face to smile widely. – Wow!

I know! But I decided not to tell anyone yet. I wanted to tell Michael immediately since I'll be leaving, but with the accident and all, I thought I'll wait a few days. But I'm coming to New York! – She whisper-screamed, so no one would hear.

Pam jumped into another hug and hearing the phone ring, excused herself and ran out happily to answer it.

* * *

At the end of the work day, the office got together and decided to go visit Lauren. They would have done it anyway, but Michael also told them about how bad Lauren felt about her outburst and the decision was made.

Lauren had walked around the hospital and was just told that they decided to keep her in overnight. She was settling into bed, with a mind of finding something on TV to watch when the entire office, one by one, filed into the room with balloons saying _Sinkhole de Mayo_ , _It's a girl,_ with the _a_ crossed out and replaced with _the_ and _sinkhole_ added in the middle and _Get well soon_ , whispering _Surprise!_ because Michael insisted you can't yell around a concussed person.

Lauren was stunned. Hannah and Jim gave her reassuring looks. Michael tried to as well, but his didn't have the same calming effect.

Because balloons were 'whorish', Angela didn't want to bring one. Instead, she had a very plain eggshell card in her hands and inside was written _This was a sign to stop going down whatever path you were going._

Thank you, Angela. – Lauren answered after she read it.

I think bikes are cool. When I was in high school, I hung out at bike rallies. – Phyllis opened. - As a joke, they put bras on their headlights. And then ask if they can polish yours.

Yup. – Meredith confirmed and grinned.

You two, please, these people are already in the hospital. They don't need those images on their plate right now. – Michael stuck his tongue out in disgust at the camera, laughing.

You have every right to be mad at me and, if it means anything, I honestly am sorry for the way I acted. – Lauren explained, trying to move on from Michael's comments.

Oh, nobody cares. Angela says way worse things all the time. – Kevin explained in his inimitable way.

Kevin! – Angela protested and stared in front of her with a mean look on her face.

It's true. And Jim _was_ all over Pam, we all know that.

Alright, Kevin. – Michael warned.

Besides, now we have a nickname for you, too. – Kevin smiled and Lauren winced, not knowing what to expect. – Sinkhole girl! – He looked so proud of himself. – We have Fire guy – He smacked Ryan on the back – and now we have a Sinkhole girl!

Ryan and Lauren, sitting in a tree, S-I-N-K-I-N-G! – Dwight and Kevin chanted, as Jim, Lauren and Hannah put on their poker faces. Ryan rolled his eyes like they were in middle school and people were egging them on to kiss, but then looked at her with a question in his eyes. Her face immediately falling and becoming stony gave him his answer.

I told them you didn't want to go back, but we would all like you to know that everything's fine. – Michael explained.

Yeah, and also, all that drama is gonna be an awesome teaser for the season finale. Or the mid season break. – Kelly added. – We're gonna get bananas ratings, y'all.

The guys hung out for a bit and reassured Lauren and then left.

* * *

As the camera crew was packing up and Lauren was already half asleep in bed, Kurt nudged her shoulder gently.

Hey. – Lauren blinked at him a few times.

Hey. – He flashed a smile. – Listen, I don't want an answer now and I certainly don't wanna pressure you, but I gotta say something.

Yeah? – Lauren tried to suppress a yawn.

Darryl found your two weeks' notice when he pulled you out and I immediately decided that I would ask you out once you were no longer an employee of Dunder-Mifflin. Since you know we are not allowed to develop relationships with you guys.

Lauren was, again, stunned. Her mouth fell open mid yawn.

But if you're staying, fuck it, I'll quit. There's always another job operating a camera. – He said in a way that clearly signaled there were no other Laurens around. – I know you're fresh out of a relationship and I don't mind waiting. When you're ready, just snap your fingers and I'm there.

Lauren was silent, but titillated. Kurt was tall and dark and flirty and a lot of fun. And if those bedroom eyes he was giving her were anything to go by… oh, man. Lauren just glanced left and right, aware he could very easily lose his job if this was filmed.

Good night. – Kurt winked and picked up his camera, leaving.


	31. Moving On

Six weeks later

Scranton

Pam had dropped the bombshell of leaving for New York the following Monday. People, of course, congratulated her, but there was some muted fear underlying everything – what if Lauren goes crazy again? It was quite amazing to Lauren how open most people were to accepting her back. It was just like, yeah, this is Lauren, the Quality Assurance girl. She beats people up and falls into sinkholes. As you do. Her latent ambition made her focus too much on people's flaws and expect too much of herself. But what she had gone through with Jim and the whole office felt like she was climbing a tall mountain, tripping up in the shadows and all of a sudden, she reached a summit which opened a huge clear view of something she never knew before. People could be patient and forgiving even when you don't deserve it. They don't expect nearly as much perfection out of you as you do. She didn't see it coming, but she was endlessly thankful and touched. It was this feeling that helped her keep it together and even congratulate Pam on getting into the Pratt Institute. That night was the first time in her life she could claim she cried herself to sleep, imagining Jim and Pam's life together.

* * *

In the following days, they got a new receptionist, Erin. A thin redhead who seemed straight out of _Annie_. Ryan took over for Jim, as a Junior Sales Representative.

Hannah found out from Danny that even a few weeks later Jim and Pam were not dating. They were living in separate places, hung out relatively little and from the little Danny inquired, Jim didn't seem to have immediate plans to date Pam.

Lauren had gone out with Kurt a few times, surreptitiously. However, there was no chemistry there, just good friendly banter. She had persuaded him not to quit and even promised to go out with him again when she felt like she was ready for a relationship. The rumor, nonetheless, spread through the office. In the following weeks, Lauren was asked out by several guys from her gym, the warehouse, Kevin kept dropping clumsy hints about how he's engaged and not interested and she needs to be careful around his fiancée... All in all, she found it amusing and even if it didn't serve to mend her broken heart, it made the time pass faster.

Hannah further found out that these rumors had come to Jim because he had asked Danny about it. She had small concerns about this hearsay and second and third hand information floating about, but she knew very well that Lauren had a zero strike policy and was adamant about not get back with anyone she broke up with. Consequently, she made an executive decision in not telling her any of the Jim related information Danny told her and asked him to do the same.

* * *

In the past week, one of the guys from the gym turned out to be very affable and attractive. He was only 22, but playing sports from a young age and his general smoothness made him seem older. Lauren had decided it would be fun to spend some time with him. His name was Eric and he was hopelessly devoted to her immediately, in that way that very young and very confident and forthcoming guys are. He made it very clear he was interested in her and spoke directly. That was Lauren's exact turn on. He was calling and texting constantly, making her laugh and flirting. She was worried that she wouldn't have sexual chemistry with him, but goddamn. Sleeping with him was one of the better experiences she had had. There could not have been a better rebound guy if she had dreamed him up. She felt really happy for the girl he eventually ends up with.

* * *

In New York

Pam had found that art school involved a lot of tedious and sciency stuff that she didn't anticipate. However, she was always happy when she learnt something new and it felt good to feel like she was improving. Another thing she didn't anticipate was that New York would be quite so expensive. She had interviewed for a small position at Corporate at Dunder-Mifflin New York and with her history, easily got the job. It paid just enough to keep her at zero – not in debt, but not really turning a big profit either.

* * *

One Friday, after work, she waited in the parking lot. Working for Corporate, Jim now had his own parking spot. He came into the parking lot, tie loose, shirt half untucked, a briefcase in one hand and loose papers in the other. From the look of him, he was eager to leave work. Seeing her standing by his car, a sweet smile on her face and head cocked to one side, he let out a genuine laugh.

Heey, Beesly! I heard you were working for Dunder-Mifflin again. – He said as he stooped down to hug her.

It's like the mafia, you can never really leave. – She shrugged as she returned the hug.

Jim rolled his eyes in understanding as he threw all the work stuff into the backseat.

Speaking of… I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. – Pam continued. – Hopefully. – She added.

Yeah? – Jim threw his head back to get his hair in place. Ever since he got that new haircut, there was a certain way the hair folded and he was still getting used to it after years of his messy mane.

I was hoping you maybe wanted to go grab some dinner. – She said with a little shakiness in her voice, but then gave him a meaningful look so there was no confusion as to what kind of invitation it was.

Jim's eyebrows shot into his hair as he jerked back a little. He was only asked out by a girl once or twice in his life. Let alone a girl he had had feelings for for so long. Asking that out of the blue. Pam grinned, happy with the reaction she caused. Jim laughed back, a little nervous. An image of them sipping wine in a cozy candle lit booth appeared in his head and made him feel warm. He hadn't been out much since he moved to New York, so the idea of spending a night out in any capacity sounded good. – Yes. – He said simply after he took a breath.

Excellent. – Pam beamed and lip her lower lip.

* * *

They made arrangements and met later that night in an eccentric little jazz club. They had the cozy dimly lit conversation over a few glasses of wine, just like it was in Jim's head. At the end of the night, they kissed softly and sweetly, like middle schoolers, smiling and holding hands, respectfully. Jim noted there was no urgency and heat like there always was with Lauren. The very first night the two of them were out, they drank hard liquor, danced wildly, laughed loudly and made out savagely. Lauren had grabbed his collar and tore the top button off. Even on the first night out with a girl, he felt free enough to touch and grab her anywhere. Even in his drunken stupor, he remembered lifting her shirt and touching her sides and stomach, he had wanted to do that since the first week in Stamford when she wore a loose shirt and picked up a tack from the floor and the shirt slid, showing the dimples in her back. With Pam however, there was none of that. He wanted to pet her hair and hold her hand and kiss her forehead. Just go slow. The fantasies he had of Lauren early on were pretty pornographic, her in high heels, him taking off tight clothes off of her, feeling her body under him. The fantasies he had of Pam involved taking walks with her, possibly with a dog. A mutt, shaggy hair, light brown. Sitting in a park. Having a quiet coffee in the morning. The thought of taking her home that night hadn't even crossed his mind.

* * *

Weeks passed and they continued to see each other. At the end of the next month, Pam would have some exams. He knew she had some small money problems and was contemplated how to go about offering that she stay in his apartment. He had gotten the apartment with the job and it was big enough for two. He had planned on living there with Lauren and even had a place picked out for a punching bag and her yoga stuff. Two people could definitely stay there. However, they had been together for such a short time, it felt very strange. He didn't see it as a relationship move, simply a financial one.

The night before he thought of talking to Pam, Jim was having a beer and Skyping with Danny. There was a big game on TV and they arranged to watch it together. Some of his old friends came to Danny's place and it was like a hangout. About half an hour before the guys would come, he called Danny. Of course, this Skype thing was constantly glitching and disconnecting, but hey, at least he would see the guys. He hadn't been back to Scranton at all and was starting to feel queasy about not visiting his family, but he also felt too out of place there now. Seeing as he also didn't quite feel like he belonged in New York either, it was a bizarre experience, like constantly floating around.

Hey, man! – Danny's voice boomed as the top of his head and the curtains appeared on the screen.

Hey! – Jim replied, suppressing a laugh. – What's up?

Nothing much, just looking for bowls. You never realize how few dishes you have until a bunch people are set to drop by. – He laughed.

Yeah, I suppose so. Hey, adjust your camera, all I see is your eyebrow and receding hairline. – Jim joked.

Oh, fuck off. – Danny moaned as he fumbled with the camera on top of his monitor. – Better?

Yeah. Listen, before the guys come, I wanna run something by you. I think I'm gonna offer Pam to move in before her exams. – Jim stated.

Danny wore a puzzled look and remained quiet. Jim was about to say he froze, but then he saw Danny's eyes moved from side to side as he formulated an answer. – You're gonna ask her to move in? Pam? – He asked with the tone of _are you fucking kidding me_.

No, I know, but she can hardly make rent and I feel guilty having this big ass apartment I just eat and sleep in. she works and goes to school, she'll basically just be crashing here at night, I don't think it's gonna be a big deal. – Jim comforted himself.

Ummm, it's gonna be a _huge_ deal. When Hannah left her toothbrush here, she was talking about it for a week. When she left her box of tampons here…she shut up. Cuz that's gross. – They both laughed. – But you know what I mean. You don't ask a girl to move in unless you're serious. – Danny warned. His dad was an old school gentleman, who cut wood and pulled out chairs for his wife. In 2008. Although he was generally very mellow, Danny had high moral standards and didn't play around. That was one of the main reasons Jim was happy to call him his best friend.

I understand that, but I think I can explain it in a way where it's not a big deal, you know? What would you do? – Jim quickly added, preventing Danny from moralizing too much.

Danny looked up, thinking. – I mean… I would definitely stress this was just a roommate kind of deal. Not a _I'm gonna marry you within the year_ deal. So what happens after her exams? Does she stay with you, does she come back here? – He asked, knowing full well Jim didn't have an answer for that.

We still haven't discussed that much. I think we'll have to see how her exams go and what she wants to do next. – Jim shrugged.

I dunno, man, do what you feel is right. – Danny shrugged back and took a swig of his beer. – Cheers. – He said smacking his lips.

Jim nodded and did the same. – Mhh. – He murmured, swallowing, as he remembered something else. – And listen, uh, don't tell Hannah just yet, alright? I worry that she might tell someone at the office or… Lauren… - He said her name hesitantly and with reverence.

Nah, man, she's not telling anybody anything. Lauren isn't asking and Hannah doesn't want to bring anything up. I don't think she knows you two are dating at all. – Danny explained.

Ah. – Jim was surprised, negatively, and he looked around, letting the information sink in. – Okay, good. – He said, not too convinced, after a pause.

Danny started talking, but his voice came stifled and in pieces. The connection soon broke. Jim typed out that they'll talk later when the guys come and thanked him.

* * *

Tomorrow, at dinner, Jim began his speech. He explained all the reasons why he thought it'd be good if Pam just took advantage of his apartment and moved in, did her exams in peace, not worrying about the rent. He also explained how he knew it was moving fast and it might feel like putting pressure on the relationship, but Pam really needed no convincing. As soon as he had mentioned moving in, she broke into a wide smile that didn't leave her face until he finished.

No, it's totally fine! – She shook her head happily. – I am so glad you asked! – Jim could see she totally glossed over the fact that he said it wasn't about taking the relationship to the next level necessarily, but about simplifying things. – It had just… been so long, you know?

Mmh? – Jim encouraged her to go on. They didn't talk too much about how long he had had feelings for her and he thought it might be a good thing to acknowledge that.

Yeah. Ever since I broke up with Roy…for the second time. – She clarified and rolled eyes playfully. – Heck, even before that. I realized I had feelings for you too. – She looked down shyly. – But then Lauren was there and then Roy again. And it was hard to take. Seeing you around the office with her.

Jim's eyes widened and he nodded. – Yeah, I know the feeling.

Of course, yeah. – Pam laughed shortly, knowing Jim went through the same. – And it felt like you were together forever, it was hard staying hopeful all that time. And I know you know how that feels too. – She added before he could. – So yeah, now that there are no more distractions, it doesn't feel rushed at all. It's, like, finally! – She threw her arms up to illustrate her point and quickly brought them down, chuckling.

Jim's heart sank a little seeing Pam understand the offer in a different spirit than he had intended. But she was so precious and sweet that he didn't have the heart to say anything. So he turned up his excitement and made plans to move her stuff into his place.


	32. Infinity

It was September and the weather was cooling down. The summer had been quite bad, with reconstruction on the parking lot and a general sense of paranoia about the sinkhole opening again. Dwight checked his first aid kit everyday and insisted he needed to keep an emergency inflatable raft in the break room, even though it was explained to him that even if a sinkhole opened, it would not be some ravine filled with wild white water.

Lauren's TH:

I'm glad the reconstruction is over. The noise and the fumes were awful. Also, I am hoping it will make Dwight finally give up his stupid raft before it causes more havoc.

The cameras cut away to Kevin messing with the raft and it accidentally opening, knocking people over in the break room as they ate, sending food flying all over, trapping Meredith under it and causing Michael to try to come to the rescue, only causing more mayhem.

Meredith's TH:

It wasn't the first time I was trapped under a raft, I'm sure it won't be the last. – She said, sighed exasperatedly.

The new receptionist Erin and Kelly were becoming friendly. Kelly and Ryan were still broken up and it looked like it would stay that way. Ryan was applying his business school knowledge and designing a website for Dunder-Mifflin. The website website would be launching soon and he wanted to parlay that success into a managing position in New York.

* * *

Lauren was getting some package from reception and chatting with Erin when Ryan leaned back in his chair, pleased with himself.

Hey, Lauren. If you want, I can make your profile on Dunder-Mifflin Infinity real nice. Make it pop. – He said suggestively.

This is so sad. This is the smallest bit of power I've ever seen go to somebody's head. – She tsk'd.

Power is sexy. You should get with me now before I blow up in NYC. – Ryan shrugged confidently.

Ryan. – Lauren said seriously. – You are headed down the same delusional highway where Dwight has a beat-oriented B&B and Michael has set up a toll-booth for compliments and forced interactions. Okay?

You are using denial to hide your attraction. Now that Jim is gone, I am by far the most attractive specimen here. And I am on the fast track. – Ryan retorted.

I am using patience to hide my contempt. – Lauren fired back. – You are on the fast track to getting an arm bar. – She said as she made her way to her desk.

Ryan's TH:

We have a thing going. It's intimidating to date in the office, especially given our history with other people, but it's only a matter of time. It just makes sense.

Kelly's TH:

I like Lauren, especially now that she's mellowed down. Besides, I'm totally over Ryan. But if he tries to date her, I will put his head on a spike and set her house on fire.

* * *

A few weeks later, it was time to go to the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website launch party. Michael, Hannah, Ryan and Lauren were going (Ryan was the only one from the office who was supposed to go, but Michael wouldn't take no for an answer, so he coerced Hannah and Lauren into it) and the rest of the office would follow and have 'an immersive experience', as Ryan put it, via webcams.. Angela was, of course, in charge of planning that party. Dwight and Angela were currently fighting because he had mercy killed her cat. The computer was predicted to become the best salesman by 6 pm that day and Dwight had decided to engage in competition with it. Angela did not support him.

Danny had also come along with Hannah to visit Jim and hang out in New York for a while. Lauren did not want to go, but they needed someone from Quality Assurance there as well and they didn't trust Meredith or Creed. She only agreed to go after she was told there was an awesome surprise waiting for her and, upon insisting and saying how most surprises were terrible (and playing the Jim and Pam card), Hannah finally gave up and told her that Joe had bought a place in New York and was throwing a party of his own before the Dunder-Mifflin website launch one.

As soon as they arrived, Michael started planning a reunion with Jim and Pam. But he and Ryan had work to do relating to the party, and Hannah, Danny and Lauren were free. Pam had an exam, so she was not free on the day they arrived. Lauren would not have gone to meet them alone to save her life, so Danny and Jim made plans, while Lauren and Hannah hung out.

* * *

At Jim's apartment

Jim and Danny were drinking beers, catching up and reminiscing, amazed at how their lives were turning out. Ten years ago, they still had dreams about being basketball players and had trouble walking up to girls and now they were working jobs they never imagined, Danny in a committed relationship, Jim…who knows.

So Pam is taking her exams? – Danny asked, steering the conversation towards more serious topics. He had not asked anything about the relationship since their Skype conversation and since the pair moved in.

Yeah. – Jim answered in a meaningful tone, knowing the portent behind the question.

They remained silent for a while.

And? Now what? – Danny asked, a bit of morbid amusement in his voice.

Jim gave a strangled laugh at this. – I have no idea. – He sighed. – She hasn't mentioned Scranton in… I don't even remember how long. I think she wants to stay.

Here? With you? – Danny pressed.

Jim shut his eyes, hard, a little agitated at Danny's knowing, probing questions. – It seems like it.

And what are your thoughts on that? – Danny continued, although he sensed Jim was feeling backed into a corner.

My thoughts are I hate this job! – Jim said burst out laughing, defeated.

What? – Danny sat up so that he could look at him.

I don't like it. I work all day, I am _so absolutely_ not interested in any of it. Every last aspect of my life is a bore and chore right now. – Jim shook his head.

Every last one? – Danny asked after he gave him an encouraging pat on the back.

Jesus, what do you want me to say? – Jim looked at him. – That this is the worst mistake I ever made? Moving here? Being with Pam? That nothing is working out how I thought? Fine! Yes. It sucks. All of it. I feel like I'm gonna go out of my mind. – Jim threw himself back on the couch and slumped down.

What's so wrong with it? – Danny asked earnestly now that Jim's façade was down.

Jim thought and, sighing, started slowly. – As for the job, it's boring as hell, but full of responsibilities. Everyone is super ambitious, there is no fun in the office. Then I come home, watch a boring movie with Pam or we sit in the park. And she is so happy and sweet, it only serves to show me how much I hate it here.

But you two are working out well, no? – Danny asked, truly hoping the answer would be yes.

Jim rubbed his eyes. – She's great. – He said and fell silent for a good while. – But there was something so exciting and beautiful in not being able to be with her and flirting and not being sure if she feels the same. Pranking people, stealing glances, laughing around the office. I had that stupid fantasy of like the 1950s where I go to work and she fixes my tie and kisses me with one leg up. And I go read the paper and work and then come back home and the kids are doing homework on the floor and we listen to records, dancing in the kitchen. - Danny laughed at the richness of detail. – Yeah, I know. But that's what my parents had and that's what I always wanted to have.

And you don't have it? – Danny offered.

No, I do. It just turns out…it's not what I want. It's always so quiet and calm, it's maddening. I feel like I'm trapped in a 50-year-old's life.

Danny thought for a while. – You remember Alice Cook? – He asked.

From high school? – Jim asked, frowning. – Oh, my god. – He laughed. – What about her?

You know how she was super hot and we were all, like, _in love with her?_ – Danny made air quotes and Jim nodded. – And then she got pregnant senior year and we all shit our pants? – Jim nodded again. – I later realized that I was holding onto the idea of her for a long time, right up until she got knocked up. My dad was always super serious about relationships and family and I was convinced that was it, she was gorgeous and perfect and fun and if we didn't end up together, I'd never get married. It felt so real and important. And then she got pregnant and, compared to that, my version of 'real' was ridiculous. And high school ended and we started living closer to the grown up world and I realized so much of what I thought before was bullshit. – He laughed. – What I'm saying is, it's good to be honest with yourself and admit how you feel and what you want. And don't dick anybody around! – Danny pushed Jim, half playfully, half reminding him of his earlier behavior. – I still cringe when I remember that poor girl Katy.

He was right. During the height of his obsession with Pam, Jim did really prickish things. He would hook up with girls occasionally, then do the typical things – say he'd call, never call, run into them, get awkward. He really dragged it out with Katy though, since Pam took the bait and paid some attention to him. For such a romantic guy, who could be so caught up in one woman and the idea of their idyllic life together, he had a huge blind spot for a lot of his behavior outside of his relationship with Pam. He would have lassoed the Moon for her, but when it came to other girls, in the words of Chris Rock – if they were hanging on a cliff and all they needed was a fuck to safe their life, Jim still wouldn't give a single fuck about any of them.

* * *

In the hotel, Hannah and Lauren's room

Lauren was wolfing down a pizza and finally getting out of her new shoes, they were killing her. Hannah was already rifling through their bags, looking for something to wear tonight.

It's just Joe, relax. – Lauren mumbled with a full mouth.

No, we're dressing up, trust me. – She said as she pressed the black dress Lauren wore to Phyllis' wedding against herself. Of course, she brought four more dresses, Lauren just brought the one. It looked like she would have to take one of Hannah's dresses. There was a tight red one that caught her eye.

I dunno, that might look a bit aggressive. – Hannah criticized.

Aggressive? We're going to a house warming party. If it's up to me, I'm wearing this. – Lauren motioned to her old jeans and grey sweater.

Shut up, I told you we're dressing up. Do that one, it's fine. – She took the red dress out of reach of Lauren's greasy hands.

* * *

Joe met them for drinks in bar first, which was a strange move, but Lauren went along with it. He was wearing dressy pants and shiny shoes and a sexy fitted shirt, done most of the way up.

Wow! - The two girls exclaimed and each enjoyed a bear hug from the clearly excited man.

I think this is the first time I've ever seen you in something resembling a suit! – Lauren said, running her hands down his arms and chest, feeling the material of the shirt. – Fancy!

Well… This kinda thing only happens only happens once. – Joe said, looking conspiratorily at Hannah, who nodded enthusiastically.

Moving in? Into a new place? Okay. – Lauren shrugged, oblivious.

Joe rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. – You thick bitch. – He muttered. - I'm getting engaged! – He then said in full voice and with an ecstatic look on his face.

Hannah's face just lit up further, already knowing this, while Lauren screamed a shocked _what_.

To whom? – Lauren asked, smacking his arm hard.

Joe's face suddenly became soft and shy, a look she rarely saw on him. – Kat. – He answered with infinite warmth.

Lauren just stared back, computing in her head. – You're back with Kat? – Joe nodded. – And you're engaged? – He nodded again. Lauren looked deep into his eyes and saw how happy and resolute he was. – Congratulations. – She said quietly, still getting over the shock.

I know, I know, I always said you never get back with an ex and there's a reason why things didn't work out the first time, blah, blah, blah… But I was miserable without her and, turns out, she was miserable without me, so put our doubts aside. And it's working like a motherfucker! – He burst out laughing. – I wanted to get you alone here first, so you wouldn't be shocked. It's not just a house warming party, we've had the place for months. It's my engagement party. – He stated the obvious, but if felt good to Lauren to know he was prepared to be humble and eat his words and admit his whole plan and not ambush her. She just smiled widely and hugged him hard.

* * *

The party was a smash. Everybody was thrilled for Joe and Kat. Lauren had now understood that as an ex girlfriend, she might have made a better choice of wardrobe than a slutty red dress, but Kat understood. She even complimented her. Lauren was also entirely honest in complimenting her back. Kat wore a deep blue dress and ridiculously high heels because she was so short and tiny next to Joe. She might have put a little bit of weight on since she last saw her, but she wore it well – it all went into her boobs, which were delicious, and her butt, which was bootylicious. The only piece of jewelry she wore was the gorgeous engagement ring from Joe.

* * *

When an opportune moment arose, when both she and Joe were alone, they smiled at each other and sat on the couch together.

Why didn't you tell me, you anus? – Lauren punched him on his rock hard thigh, knowing full well he'd feel nothing.

You wouldn't have understood. - He shrugged like it was obvious. – You were still on your no strike policy, Jim had never fucked up really badly… You still didn't know about real life and compromises and losing someone you truly loved. Not that bullshit loved, where you wanna scream and slit your wrists. That love where it doesn't really even hurt not to be with the person, it just feels like a part of your body is missing. From what I see now… I think you're getting there. – He slapped her knee gently, in support.

Yeah? What do you see now? – Lauren asked, not sure how to take what he said.

You've calmed down a little. You speak more quietly. You're not as quippy and ostentatious with your wit and sex appeal. I think you're starting to accept people as imperfect beings. Yourself too. I'm really proud of that. – He answered very easily, not having to reach for things or mince his words.

That just sounds boring. – She shrugged, feeling like he nailed her recent small changes.

Naw. That's a mature, confident woman. – Lauren rolled her eyes. – Oh, no, I don't mean that yet. But one day.

So how did you two get back together anyway? – Lauren asked and leaned against the couch, ready for a romantic tale.

Simple. I just got hurt again and I decided to look her up. You know I think chiropractors are witch doctors, but I never felt better than when she worked on me. – Joe smiled and Lauren snorted, making it sexual. – Shut up, I'm telling you a heartwarming story here. Anyway, I got to her practice, she did her thing and I just asked her if she was dating anyone. She said no. I asked if she still thought my work was gonna kill me one day. She said yes. I asked if that was still a deal-breaker for her. She said no. And we've been together ever since. I know you may not believe me, but it was actually better after we broke up. – Lauren frowned, clearly not believing him and thinking he was full of it. - We got to see each other at our worst and most honest and most vulnerable when we broke up. Saying horrible shit. Mean shit. The kind of shit you say when you don't think you'll ever see someone again. And then, when the dust settled, and we realized we still loved each other and missed each other, it was easy to build on that relationship. We knew what the other one hated, we knew what they didn't want and we knew we still couldn't live without each other. So I live with some shit I hate, she lives with some shit she hates, but we adore each other. – Joe finished happily.

Lauren's heart was full seeing him that happy. She just leaned over and gave him a loving hug. – I am so happy for you.

* * *

Hannah and Danny made plans to meet up and go to the hotel together after the party. He was getting ready to leave and Pam had mentioned that a nasty wind was blowing when she came back from the exam, so Jim insisted he take one his sweaters. Pam offered to go grab one as they said goodbye.

She wasn't sure which one Jim had worn already, so to be safe, she took a chair and reached for one of the ones folded on the highest shelf in his closet. As she pulled it out, a small box fell down. Pam nearly toppled right down from the chair she was standing on! Somehow, in an instant, she knew there was nothing else that could be in that box. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she reached for it and started to open it.

Pam, did you find one, need help? – Jim called over and his voice startled her into dropping the box.

Er, yeah, just a sec! – She called out in shaky voice and shoved the little box under one of the pillows lying on the bed. Her hands were still shaking when she handed Danny the sweater.

You okay, Beesly? – Jim asked.

Yeah, I just… got a chill all of a sudden. – She answered, looking nervously at the floor.

* * *

Although Danny insisted there was no need, Jim came down with Jim to see him off and get him inside the taxi.

She's not here. – Danny interrupted Jim's small talk as they approached the cab.

Hm? – Jim raised his eyebrow in question.

She's with Joe actually. – Danny answered cryptically and loved the thought of letting Jim mull that over in his head all night.

What?! – Jim tried to grab him, but Danny was already in the cab.

See ya tomorrow, man! – Danny called out as the taxi pulled away.

* * *

While Jim was out, Pam rushed back into the room and quickly retrieved the little box. She opened it and gasped, clasping her mouth. She couldn't still quite imagine Jim proposing, but she loved seeing a beautiful ring stashed away. She pondered trying it on, but didn't want to take away the magic from the proposal. She just touched the stone lightly, and opted to put it back so Jim wouldn't notice anything, never suspecting the ring was actually bought for Lauren and engraved with _L∞J_.


	33. Baby

A few weeks later

The launch party went well. Lauren had found a way to be there as little as possible, mingling with strangers and asking Joe to call her a few times an hour, just in case, so she had an excuse to leave. She politely said hello to everyone upon arriving – we all know who _everyone_ is – and upon leaving the second it wasn't rude to do so. She did notice Pam was glowing and doting on Jim, which only made her stomach knotty. She had also convinced herself that his reluctant gestures and uncomfortable looks were all in her head and she ran back to the hotel as fast as she could manage it.

Of course, when it rains, it pours and it turned out that Jim's brother's wife was having a baby in the following week. Tom and Jennifer had been married for a short time and seemed to want a baby immediately. Everyone, Larissa especially, was excited. To avoid running into anybody, Lauren simply sent flowers to her after the baby girl came. She and Jennifer were friendly, even after the break up, but Lauren wasn't sure what to do. Obviously, she couldn't ignore a friend had just given birth, but it felt ridiculously inappropriate to crash any family time. She had only briefly met Jim's parents while they were dating and spent a bit more with his siblings and their friends, and now it was time to navigate the tricky waters of post break up friendships.

* * *

A few weeks later

Things had only been getting more and more tense. The Infinity website that Ryan had set up was throwing up some interesting data. It seemed like some branches were not as well balanced as it seemed. It looked like the New York office was slightly overstaffed and could function in a more streamlined way if it laid some people off. "Streamlined" was a bullshit word that people started using now that there was a horrible recession happening when all they meant was "we want fewer people to do more, preferably for less money". However, Ryan's under performing as a salesman threw the balance off even further and it looked like the Scranton branch was understaffed, especially in the sales department. There was talk of bringing in an expert, a salesman with more experience. Lo and behold, Michael had immediately dredged up Todd Packer. He wasn't officially hired to mentor Ryan, but he took on the job immediately. His presence at the office brought out the worst in Michael and subsequently, in everyone else.

* * *

Lauren was blowing off more and more steam at the gym, with not only the exercise being a destresser, but Eric's presence helping a good deal as well. In the past month or two, he was growing his hair out. It was now usually in his eyes and a little shaggy. Lauren was surprised to find the image of a young Jim it kind of reminded her of brought her warm feelings, instead of pain or anger. She saw in Eric a potential to be a great man and enjoyed his company a lot. As a secondary reaction, it also softened her outlook on Jim and reminded her of his good qualities. She hoped it would eventually help her move on. Meanwhile, she was having a good time going out with Eric, smoking weed and dancing and the reckless physical side of their relationship. All the while, she encouraged him to pursue women his age and would gently remind him that their relationship wasn't going anywhere.

Besides the drama at work, Lauren was finally in a place where she felt relaxed and pretty content, able to enjoy the moment and not worry about the future too much.

* * *

At the baby shower, Lauren had decided to play it safe and arrive a little later, so that she wouldn't have to spend too much time with people other than Tom and Jennifer, Jim's brother and his wife. Eric had dropped her off since he lived nearby and they agreed to go out after.

Everybody was in the yard, chatting in small groups and the actual shower had not happened yet. Lauren got the baby a white little onesie with bear ears and a toy bear that looked like the outfit. It was so adorable it made her womb ache.

* * *

Naturally, she quickly scanned the yard for Jim and Pam. Pam was a group of girls and she couldn't see Jim. There was a slupring noise behind her and then a _hi_. Jim was having a beer and he looked ahead as he spoke.

You're late. – He said accusingly.

Yeah. – Lauren replied, knowing what he was aiming at.

I seem to remember someone giving someone a generous helping of shit when someone was late. All through the relationship. – Jim stated.

Mhm. – Lauren answered. – That's because being late was someone's norm. I was late by design.

Oh, really? – He sounded intrigued. – And what design was that?

I was hoping to run into as few people as possible. – Lauren said truthfully.

I get it. – Jim decided not to play the fool and give her a hard time. About that. About other things, however… - So what have you been up to? Last I heard, you were in New York for the launch party, but I didn't see you.

Erm, yeah, I made a quick exit. It wasn't really my scene. – She replied.

Mhm. – Jim said, not convinced. – You were in a hurry to go see Joe? Danny said you were together. There. – He quickly added.

Lauren paused, a little confused by the turn and tone this conversation was taking. In the end, she decided to be a grown up and go with the truth. – It was his engagement party. I didn't know until that very night. – She smiled warmly, thinking of how happy Joe and Kat were that night.

Jim's eyebrows shot into his hairline and stayed there as he took another swig of his beer. He gathered his thoughts in the pause. – I see. So this new guy… - He motioned to the street where she had come out of Eric's car. – This _child_. – He emphasized. – What's that all about? – Jim asked with some amusement, but also genuine interest and… nervousness?

Lauren scoffed at the comment, irritation winning over the surprise of his knowing so many details about her love life. – We met some time ago and hit it off. It's nothing serious.

So you're not serious about the _kid._ – Jim continued to tease.

He's 22, ok? – Lauren finally took the bait and snapped. She was gonna say he wasn't a kid, but Jim cut in.

My baby sister's 22. They're children. – He deadpanned.

Alright, whatever. Eric's a fun guy and we're just hanging out… - Lauren shrugged and wanted to stop the conversation or at least change the topic.

Wait, wait, Eric? Him mom teaches chemistry? – He asked and Lauren shrugged, not sure. She thought he mentioned his mom teaching something, but… Oh, shit. Oh, no. – From down the street? – Jim continued, keenly interested and animated. – Lauren nodded, almost absolutely sure what was coming. - I think Larissa and he "dated" in kindergarten. I know cause they went to the same school later and his mom taught her. You are literally dating the same boy my baby sister once dated. The same _child_. – Jim gloated.

Oh, god. – Lauren covered her eyes, feeling sick. - If you tell anybody here, I swear, I will give you a purple nurple they will be talking about forever. – She threatened as she leaned in closer, making sure no one heard.

Oh, my god, this is hilarious. – Jim shook his head, seeming oblivious to her threat. – Your rebound guy is that kid Eric with the dinosaurs… - He was remembering and smiling. – That's crazy. – He said, not venomous or mocking, just honestly surprised and charmed.

And your rebound girl is that mousy wet blanket who's probably talking about stitching and pastel cardigans with all the other Stepford wives, Lauren thought, but didn't say, not wanting to seem bitter or even slightly annoyed by him. Jim, knowing her quite well, all but read the comment on her face and fell silent. Once she managed, Lauren put on a polite smile. – We're not quite in the place where we can be ribbing each other about our lives and choices.

The air suddenly felt thick and heavy and sad around them.

Jim swallowed and took a step closer. – I really wish we could… - But he caught sight of Pam making her way over to them and bit the inside of his lip guiltily.

Hi. – Pam said to no one in particular and stood next to Jim.

Hey. – Lauren smiled politely. – How are you doing, how's school? – She asked, already forming an exit strategy for the conversation.

It's good, it's good. – Pam answered in high pitch, looking slightly to the left. No one but Jim knew she had failed some courses. – There's a lot of work, but you know… It's good. What about you? What's… new? – Pam asked, not really up to date at all on Lauren's affairs.

Same old, same old. – Lauren shrugged, taking on the same rhythm of repeating things as Pam. – Everyone is their usual quirky self. But this is a really nice break from the norm, it's so lovely. – She motioned around, referring to the baby being born.

Yeah, it's really wonderful. – Pam grabbed Jim's arm and sidled up to him. He continued to sip his beer in silence. Lauren wracked her brain for something to say, but coming up with nothing, she shrugged and excused herself, saying she needed to go say hi to some people.

* * *

The rest of the baby shower and the day was a blur. Tom and Jennifer looked ecstatic about parenthood and, though she would deny it, few things tugged at Lauren's heartstrings like the image of a happy family with a newborn. An intrusive though started tormenting her – she kept seeing herself, with Jim, their baby, as a part of this tight knit family, feeling endlessly loved. The thought of Jim did not leave her, not throughout the party, not as she snuck out, not as she had dinner with Eric or as they slept together. The last of her defenses were finally down and she fully felt just how badly she was missing him.


	34. Honey, I'm home

The news had finally broken. Ryan was being promoted and was getting a managing job at the New York branch. Although far from perfect, his website had turned out to be useful in some ways and they apparently thought he was forward thinking and professional. How wrong they are, thought Lauren, as Ryan humble-bragged, trying to make it sound casual, but dying to feel superior. Kelly was devastated, obviously. But then came the coup de grace. Naturally, no one in their right mind would ever hire Packer and allow him to stay in Scranton, but as time passed, it became more and more obvious there was need for a good salesman at the branch. Apparently, Jim had negotiated with Wallace and Jan and they all agreed it was wise for him to step down from his position at Corporate, which was a win for the New York branch, and return to Scranton, which was a win for the Scranton branch.

Michael had decided there should be a double party, for seeing Ryan off and for welcoming Jim back. He had decided that it would be Café Disco, in the old supply room (which was entirely re-done after the sinkhole and the suspicion it might be affected) which was currently not in use and he wanted it to become a regular thing, where everyone would hang out and be friends, still blurring the line between appropriate professional relationships and delusional personal relationships. Café Disco opened its doors two days before the Hello/Goodbye party, to mixed to negative reviews. Phyllis had gone in and got her freak on, but threw her back out.

* * *

Pam was still reeling and did not at all seem to get Jim's sudden decision. They both kind of avoided the subject, as it would no doubt lead to arguments and very difficult decisions, but his bags were already half packed, today he had cleared out his office and, apparently, the day after tomorrow, he was moving back to Scranton. Meanwhile, Pam had failed a couple courses, mostly to do with computer stuff, and she had planned to stay a little longer and finish what she started. She had questions about their future arrangements that Jim seemed less than eager to answer. At dinner, the silence was truly uncomfortable.

So this was basically your last day at the New York office? – Pam began, questions queued up.

Yeah. – Jim breathed a sigh of relief.

You know, I really had no idea you disliked it so much. Why didn't you tell me? – She asked, realizing it never occurred to her that he could not be sharing something with her.

I don't know. I think it just felt spoiled. I was advancing and the work wasn't all that bad. I'm just bored. I don't like this…field. It's my own fault. – He explained, face getting darker.

So will you be changing fields? You know I totally support you in that. – She reached over the table, barely reaching his elbow. He did not reach back.

I've been thinking about it. – He answered shortly, not acknowledging her other comment.

I've also been wanting to talk about other stuff. – She beamed up in her girly way. – I wanna know if you wanna move back into your apartment or mine or get a new place together?

Jim's stomach fell ten stories. He just looked up and umm'd, not knowing how to approach the subject.

Because it's probably easier to go back to your old place while I'm here and then we can search for something together. I'd love to go back with you, but this is all so sudden… - She explained.

After a long pause, he finally decided he needed to nut up. – About that… We… never talked about… making… this… a permanent situation. – He dragged out, feeling very reluctant and queasy.

Pam wasn't quite getting the full extent of his meaning, but was backing away rapidly.

I just mean… - He backpaddled, panicked. It felt awful having to do this, but ultimately, it was better to do it now and face to face. To make things worse, he had flashes of his other break ups, particularly those he cut loose so emotionlessly and pitilessly, making him feel even more guilty. – You remember how I said this was kind of a 'we live in the same place, let's simplify things' kind of a…deal? And I mean, I had just come out of a relationship, I really didn't think this was a situation where…

We were dating and you said let's move in! – Pam cut him off angrily, as angrily as a tiny mousy voice can cut somebody off.

He was going to repeat his you were broke and I had a roomy apartment shtick, but stopped, knowing it would be no good. He just shrugged apologetically, trying to work up the courage to tell her the relationship would not continue after he moved.

Pam was shaking her head, confused and offended. – So what now, you move, we get engaged, but we don't live together? – The words escaped her mouth before she thought them through.

Jim was honestly dumbstruck, having no idea where this engagement business was coming from. – What are you…

I, ugh – Pam shook her head, frustrated with herself. – I accidentally found the ring. I wasn't snooping or anything, it just happened. You know that I don't want a long enjoyment and I just don't want any complications after all the years and all the nonsense with Roy. – She explained like it made perfect sense and the argument was settled.

Oh, I… - Jim finally understood what she meant and almost said it wasn't for her, but then realized he was now backed further into a corner than before. Either he says yes, it's for her, but he changed his mind, which is terrible, or it's for my ex girlfriend, who I still want to pursue, unbeknownst to you, which is how crimes of passion get explained in court. While he was wildly searching for a response, the full weight of realization dropped on Pam.

It's not an engagement ring? Or it is, but not for me? – She buried her face in her hands, sad, embarrassed and angry.

I am so sorry it happened. I wish I could change that, it's such a cruel and unfortunate thing – Pam raised her hand, bidding him to be quiet, she could not stand to hear his magnanimous speech at the moment. After a pause, in which he felt there were no more misunderstandings about their situation, he decided to swallow and say a few more words, clearing some stuff up. – I am very sorry I didn't handle this better. I am learning I am not that good at managing a relationship and being forthcoming with everything you need to know. So here it is. – Pam started to get up, but he asked to please give him a moment to explain. – I had been dying to be with you for years. I couldn't imagine loving anyone else. But then a few months ago, everything went wrong with my life. I came here and I started hating my life. And I thought maybe being with you could fix that. And it was so unfair to you. – He stopped and took a breath. – I have some clarity now, I know some things I have to do. But I wish I could have avoided all of this, hurting you in this way, in ways I was and was not aware of. I'm not gonna tell you you're amazing and you'll be with someone who is equally as amazing, I don't get to say that now. But I really want you to stay here, the apartment is yours till the end of the month, continue with the course, because you are awesome at it. And be angry with me and call me names and tell me to suck it, because it's all true and I deserve it, but don't let me push you even the slightest bit off course, Beasly. – Finishing his goodbye, he dared a quick squeeze of her shoulder and headed for the living room, resigned to sleeping on the couch tonight.

That night before bed, Jim called Danny and told him it was over, which Danny thought to be long overdue and finally, a grown up move on Jim's part. When he asked to come a day early and crash at his place, Danny welcomed him with open arms.

* * *

It was a hectic time at the office, with quarterly reports to be drawn up, the staff changes, some inventory to be checked, with Michael not giving up on Café Disco and, apparently, extending the lease on the house Lauren and Hannah shared. Although she was not checking it all the time, it felt a little early on that, but since Hannah did all the work and all she had to do was sign and being that she was distracted as is with Jim returning and his party being today, she was more than happy to sign it and have one worry less. On top of everything, it looked her father's company was about make a bunch of people redundant, so she was honestly just happy to be working and have a good place to live right now.

* * *

After lunch, Kelly and Erin went to the Café and were dancing, attracting the attention of some boys from Vance refrigeration. Because Ryan was leaving, Kelly had turned the sexy way up and was thrilled when the boys took notice and when Andy challenged her to a dance off. Pretty soon, work was abandoned and most people were there, shaking their tail feathers. Lauren was just sorting the folder she had finished working on and was about to go and try to get her spirits as high as she could before Jim arrived, when her cell phone rang.

Hiya! – Joe's voice was spirited, sans the usual 'bitch'.

Hey, there. Why are you bothering me during work hours? – Lauren joked.

Because you hate work and love me. – He chirped.

True.

Listen, great news! I got booked to do some events, starting in two weeks! – He howled happily.

Shit, really? – Lauren exclaimed and quickly covered her mouth, remembering the cameras. – Where are you going?

Mostly Nevada, it's really happening over there now. But other places too.

And how long are you staying, is Kat going with you now? – She asked, knowing this was a huge problem before.

A while, I dunno, we'll see. No, she's not coming, she has a lot of work in New York right now. Buuuuuuut… - He dragged out, creating suspense. – I decided to lock it down before I leave, she ain't goin' nowhere! – He laughed heartily.

A smile erupted on Lauren's face, not believing what she was hearing. – What the f– she checked herself – Hell are you saying?

We're getting married, bitch! That's why I'm calling! It's all last minute, it's gonna be crazy romantic, we're signing the papers and throwing a party on a Saturday, so that people can come. And you're my best man, by the by. – He finished.

Lauren was picturing the whole thing in her head, images of traditional brides and grooms with Joe and Kat's faces flashed in her head, intercut with wild parties she had had with him. It made her feel like she was in another dimension where this mix was possible. She first laughed for a good while and finally responded. – You two are insane and i love it. I love it so much. Of course, I'm there, I can believe this, but I am so happy.

Alright, alright, alright. Jeez, when did you get all sappy and shit? Just be there and have a real good best man speech ready. Love you. – He said and they exchanged their I love yous and goodbyes.

* * *

The conversation had put Lauren in a great mood and she was really grateful for it. She made her way into Café Disco, limbo'd in and rocked out to Poker Face with Oscar and Hannah. This new girl, Lady Gaga, was definitely gonna be a gay icon and though he wouldn't freely admit it, Oscar loved her. So Lauren decided to be accommodating and give him a chance to have some good gay fun. Meredith, who had kind of taken an eerie liking to Lauren, had confided in her that she had a stash of booze at work, which came as no surprise. They snuck out and had some neat Cuervo and came back, real slick. Knowing Kelly would be down in the dumps, Lauren spiked a cup of orange juice for her.

Here, to lift your spirits. – She offered her the red solo cup.

What? I feel great. – Kelly was taking a breath to claim how she was doing awesome, but Lauren have her a meaningful look.

To lift your _spirits_. – She emphasized.

Ohh! – Kelly understood and downed half the contents in one gulp. – Thanks!

You're welcome. – Lauren smiled and leaned against a wall, waiting for the inevitable.

So Jim's coming back, huh? – Kelly probed.

Yup. – Lauren didn't fight back. Ever since her accident, she had become more open with the people in the office, she figured it was the least she could do. – And Ryan's gone.

Yup. – Kelly mirrored. – You got any more of that? – She wiggled her now almost empty cup.

Hey, Meredith. – Lauren waved and motioned for her to meet them outside. Meredith got it immediately.

Of course. – Kelly shrugged and ducked out.

* * *

We've been broken up _forever!_ – Kelly complained. – I thought for sure we'd hook up before he leaves, y'know.

Meredith looked down, sipping on her flask and Lauren was taking a drag off her cigarette.

Finally, Lauren sighed and repeated the same advice she always gave Kelly when she started fantasizing and leaving the Earth. – Bottom line is, you can't make them like you if they don't.

She was about to continue, but Kelly jumped in, sagely. – You can't make their heart feel something that it won't.

Lauren was about to agree, but then recognized that must be some song lyric she was not aware of. – Oh, god, Kelly. – She rolled her eyes. – Yeah, yeah, exactly. – She reluctantly agreed.

But it's not just in my head. It wouldn't keep happening otherwise. – Kelly was adamant.

I guess. – Lauren agreed with a heavy heart, thinking of her own situation and Jim's recent behavior that she kept trying to explain away rationally.

Let's get back inside, that tall drink of water is gonna be here any minute. – Meredith reminded them.

* * *

Jim soon arrived and people were surprised Pam was not with him. He curtly explained that she still had some exam related stuff to take care of. For over half an hour, he was saying hi and chatting casually with people, not getting close to Lauren. She was equally relieved and disappointed by this.

In an uncharacteristic move, Hannah came up and decided not to keep hiding stuff from Lauren. She had decided Lauren had healed enough to start dealing with the reality of the situation. Plus, this shit was so juicy she couldn't help herself.

Guess what? – She pinched Lauren's side and made her curl into a sideways C shape.

Ouch! – Was Lauren's substitute for _what_.

She whispered so no one could hear who and what they were talking about. - Jim actually arrived yesterday. Without Pam. And crashed on Danny's couch.

So? – Lauren tried to sound cool. – He said she still had stuff to do. And maybe he needed to come early…for something. – She was reaching.

He was planning on renting something in his old building. With those small ass apartments. – Hannah said meaningfully. There was a pause where Lauren searched for something to say, but failing, just focused on not betraying any of her conflicted feelings. – But we came up with a better solution.

What? – Lauren asked, but only got a quick kiss to the back of her neck as Hannah danced away.

* * *

Soon after, Jim appeared next to Lauren.

Hey, um, where did Hannah go? I never got the chance to thank her for being so gracious yesterday. – He said.

How so? – Lauren asked, playing dumb and kind of wanting him to stick around longer.

Well, I just called out of the blue and asked if I could crash there and they were really good hosts. – He shrugged.

Before she started to seem desperate, she decided to let him know she had no idea where Hannah was. – Actually, I dunno where Hannah went, she just disappeared.

Oh. Okay. – Jim nodded and shifted his weight, looking for a new topic. Lauren was relieved when he didn't want to go either.

So, uh, why did you come back so abruptly? – And without Pam? But she kept that one to herself.

Jim bit the inside of his cheek and Lauren saw a familiar playful look dash across his face for just a moment. He then got serious and leaned closer. – To tell you the truth, we decided to end it.

Lauren felt frozen in place, just blinking at him.

To tell you real truth, it wasn't _we_ , it was _me._ – He said deliberately and huskily. A shiver ran down her spine. Bastard. He always does that. – I didn't want any more half truths in my life. It isn't fair.

Lauren was in a full panic. He was definitely looking at her lips and the room was full of gossipy coworkers and that heat spreading in her stomach almost made her not care. She took a deep breath and tilted her head away. – That's too bad. – He wasn't buying it. – Break ups are always rough. – She amended her statement into something believable.

Yeah. – He shrugged and nodded.

You know this piece of gossip is gonna be _huge._ – Lauren tried to lift the mood.

He chuckled. – Oh, man, yeah. I expect full Team Halpert/Team Beasly T-shirts.

Courtesy of Kelly. – Lauren offered and they laughed. - But honestly, both of you should be prepared for wild speculation. You know the people here are relentless. – She warned earnestly.

Oh, I know. But I got it. My strategy is just to tell one or two people in confidence. I am sure after that, it will spread like wild fire and everyone will know everything. Hence, no more speculation. – He explained shrewdly.

Oh, I see. – Lauren nodded slowly.

I mean, if Kelly and Angela can't keep a secret… - Jim raised an eyebrow as in _who can._ They both burst out laughing and Lauren grabbed his forearm for support, as she always did. Out of habit, he kept it rigid as he leaned back. It felt really warm and familiar to joke around with him again. It kind of made her less fearful about his return. It might just work out.

* * *

The songs kept on rolling. People were telling anecdotes about Ryan and Jim. When Fire Guy came up, of course, Lauren was reminded of her title of Sinkhole Girl. Kevin pointed out they sounded like the beginning of a superhero group. No one was sad as Todd Packer dropped in to say he was moving on and will not be back in Dunder-Mifflin for a while. Soon, it was time to clean up a little and start heading out. Lauren needed to get her keys from her desk, so she headed back into the office. There, she heard rustling and was not surprised to find Kelly and Ryan hardcore making out. Instead of ruining Kelly's moment, Lauren decided to use the spare key to get into the house.

* * *

Once there, she saw the light was on and realized Hannah must be home. As she came in, she sang. – Honey, I'm home.

Hi, there, honey. – Jim chirped back.

This stopped her dead in her tracks. – Um, hi? – She asked rather than said. He just grinned back. –What uh, what are you doing here?

Silly. I live here. – Jim sank back into the couch and glued his eyes back to the TV screen.

Lauren laughed. – What's that supposed to mean?

Check your copy of the lease, honey. I live here. - He said not joking at all.

What?! – Lauren screamed and lunged for her workbag with a folder full of papers.


	35. Emotional Women

The confidence with which Jim spoke already made her feel her actions were futile, but this was so bizarre, Lauren had to check. She rifled through her papers and sure enough, he was the one who co-signed. Rewinding today's events in her head, she thought that, yeah, the paper was empty when Hannah stuffed it under her nose and made her sign real quick.

This is unbelievable. – Lauren was staring hard at his name on a piece of paper.

Believe it. – Jim retorted.

In what universe is this acceptable? And who the fuck came up with this idea? – She stood back and hastily stomped over to stare him down.

Hannah and I. – He answered calmly. – It seemed like the perfect solution, she wanted to try living with Danny and I needed a place a stay. Why shouldn't we be roommates? – He shrugged innocently.

Why shouldn't we be roommates? – She almost spat out a laundry list of bitter emotional issues, like deceit, heartbreak and general assholery, but managed to stop herself. She didn't want to open up about that and there were other issues to debate. – Because we're ill suited to one another. – She sounded out venomously. – Furthermore, because I had no say in it. And because I want you as far away from me as is possible. – That last one got away from her.

Jim tried to shrug it off, but was visibly stung by that. –I happen to feel to exact opposite. – He mumbled quietly. – Besides, the place is big enough, you'll hardly see me at all. Also, what is the big deal really; we're just two people sharing some space. – He tried to put it as innocently as possible.

Yeah? And what if I tell your precious little girlfriend? – Lauren spat, with way more jealousy than she had intended, but ultimately feeling like it would wake Jim up to how inappropriate this was.

Well… - Jim cocked his head to one side. – For one, I no longer have a girlfriend, I hope that's clear. And for two, I think it would be really hurtful and embarrassing if she found out. – He said, implying that it was up to Lauren to keep from her getting hurt.

So what, I should shut up and let you do whatever the Hell you want _and_ I need to take care of Pam's feelings? – She leaned forward with her arms on her hips.

Not at all. I don't think our living arrangement it anyone else's business, that's all. – Jim retorted calmly.

I don't know what trip you're on right now to not get how wildly inappropriate this is – what if I just ambushed you and moved into your place? – Lauren was honestly at the end of her tether, feeling powerless and frustrated.

I would be delighted. – Jim shot back flatly, keeping intense eye contact.

Oh, Jesus, oh God. – Lauren felt angry tears coming up and covered her face with her hands. – Why are you doing this, what the Hell do you want?

Her tone made Jim realize it was no longer funny at all and she was actually upset. Although he anticipated some resistance, the resurgence of feelings he had for her convinced him he just needed to go back and made a grand gesture and all would be right. He never saw her actually being against it and hurt by it. The reaction jarred him back into the moment and he suddenly felt that, yeah, this was basically criminal behavior. What the fuck was he thinking? Worst of all, did she really want him to leave? Did she really not feel anything anymore?

Instinctively, he took a step closer, wanting to hug her, but he stopped short of touching her. – Alright, hey, listen. I'm sorry you're upset, please. Please, calm down. Look, I'll leave, ok? Just please, don't… Don't be upset. – He kept inching closer and his voice was low and soothing. – I never wanted to make you feel bad. I'll be out as soon as I find some other place. I can find some other place to sleep tonight. I'll go right now, ok? Ok, just please don't be sad. – He dared a shoulder squeeze and she finally reacted.

Her breathing was even and she had successfully forced the tears back in. – It's fine, I'm fine. – She sighed, not thrilled about what she was going to say next. – Look, I don't wanna seem like some nutjob. You can stay here. Stay tonight, stay for a couple days, however long you need to. I'm not gonna make you disturb Hannah and Danny or go sleep on the street. – She rolled her eyes and Jim laughed, watching her hair fall back and align and a lump go down her throat. It was these small things that really catch your eye once you know and love a person. He had to ball up his fists to stop from running a hand down the side of her face and neck. – But by no means was this cool and no way is it gonna ever be cool, ok? We won't tell anyone, we don't even have to bump into each other, it's gonna be fine. And I'm gonna find a way to get back at all three of your asshats, you better believe that. – She smacked his upper arm and shook her head. He smiled at her and there was an awkward moment before they gave each other a one arm side hug and went their separate ways.

* * *

The next day, Lauren got up bright and early, hoping to get ready and leave for work before Jim. Apparently, he had had the same idea. They both awkwardly offered the bathroom to the other one first, but Jim insisted she go first and he would make breakfast in the meantime. Lauren wasn't thrilled at this, the idea of Jim in her kitchen, being all homey and disheveled and cute… It was weird to have the voices in her head argue and Jim win in the end – after all, it was _their_ kitchen and he was making coffee and breakfast for _them_ and they lived together. It was so bizarre.

* * *

She had hoped he would jump in the shower immediately after she came out, but no. He had laid out the mugs on the table and the french toast was piping hot and looked delicious. French toast? Goddamn Jim, she thought.

He smiled and urged her to sit down and have her coffee. Jim offered they carpool to work, but Lauren was shocked and dead against it.

Are you serious right now? The jig would be immediately up. No, hard pass. – She shook her head as she chewed some French toast. Shit, it was so good. - Besides, I got my bike, I'm good.

Jim winced at the very mention of the bike, remembering when he heard she was in a hospital and had had a bike accident. He never felt so terrified in his life. – I really wish you would stop riding that thing. Would you please consider it?

On what authority are you making that request? - She tried to shove off the sweetness and concern by making it clear to him he was not a factor in her decision making process.

Um, as your concerned roommate. – He shrugged and downed the last of his coffee.

Well, as your careless roommate, I'm asking you to chill out, grandpa. – Before waiting for a reply, Lauren shoved the rest of her breakfast in her mouth and retreated into the solitude of her bedroom until it was time to leave.

* * *

Jim and Lauren arrived at different times and no one seemed to notice or suspect anything. Kelly was in a funk about Ryan, so that ate up most of the conversation, which Lauren was grateful for. Also, Meredith's son was kind of acting out and the most shocking thing about that to Lauren was that she had a son at all! I mean, she had been to her house, granted she was drunk out of her mind, but there didn't seem to be a sign of life, let alone a child in there. But whatever, anything to keep the conversation away from her.

Naturally, Jim being back was news and people were asking about Corporate, New York, the chicks… Hearing the word 'chick' come out of Kevin's mouth was weird. His plan of telling just a few people in confidence apparently worked, most of the office was already caught up on the fact that he was currently single. Andy immediately jumped in, suggesting they go out and sow their oats, while constantly eyeing Angela to see if she betrayed any emotion. How her thing with Dwight could escape anyone's radar was beyond Lauren. In any case, it seemed like the _Nard dog_ was after her and Lauren wouldn't surprised if one day soon he was serenading her in the office.

Any attempt that Hannah made to talk to Lauren was quickly shut down. It really made Lauren realize how much closer she had grown to the other colleagues – it was very easy to eschew Hannah and just casually join Kelly, Phyllis, Meredith, Oscar or even Angela in any conversation they might have been having and actually contribute to it. God, that was depressing. Immediately after having their thought, though, she would look up at their unsuspecting faces and remember how they welcomed her back after all the shit she pulled and feel equally guilty and warm on the inside. God, _that_ was depressing.

* * *

At the end of the day, Lauren decided to wait till everyone was gone, including Jim, so that they wouldn't be seen leaving the office together. She was quite paranoid, but hey, it was the first day lying about something major, she decided to really let the paranoia wash over her. Annoyingly, everyone seemed chatty and slow to file out. Hannah noticed Lauren straggling and put two and two together.

When most people were gone, Lauren got her jacket and heaved her bag on her shoulder, the momentum nearly causing her to crash into an eager Hannah, who was lurking in the hallway.

Hey. – Hannah said, not deterred by Lauren's obvious disinclination to talk.

What? – Lauren asked, not even remotely disguising her irritation, and kept walking towards the exit.

We gotta talk about it. – Hannah said like it was obvious, following her closely.

Oh, yeah? Well, if you didn't feel the need to talk to me about it beforehand, I sure as shit don't wanna talk about it now. – Lauren spat and Hannah was taken aback by the cursing. Sure, Lauren's vocabulary was colorful to say the least, but she usually argued the point and tried not to muddle her arguments with emotion. This was serious.

Okay, maybe I made a mistake - Maybe?! Came Lauren's echo – but what are you gonna do, ignore me forever? – Hannah asked and Lauren seriously contemplated.

I don't know. I just feel furious at you now. You betrayed me and ambushed me, and just when I was doing alright, when I was starting to recover. It was a – Lauren stopped herself from saying 'shitty' – an awful thing to do and if you ever want to mend out relationship, you just gotta leave me alone right now cause I can't even stand to look at you. – She concluded and pushed open the glass door of the building, striding towards her bike.

Hannah stood frozen at the door, her stomach all knotted. Jim was in the parking lot, trying desperately to thwart Michael and Andy's attempts to get him to go out and he saw that something must have happened. He excused himself, saying he needed to get something from Hannah and jogged over to her.

Hey, is everything alright? You look upset. – He put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

I feel like crying. – Hannah answered, more honestly than she necessarily would have wanted, clutching her stomach.

Well… - Jim didn't know exactly what to say. There have too many emotional women around him lately, so he was strangely used to it, but still was not sure what to do. – I guess that helps, you should go for it.

I can't. – Hannah closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to dig herself out of the shock of hearing her best friend talk to her like that. – I think I might have screwed both of us over.

Lauren made a semi circle with her bike and hit the brakes hard in front of the pair. She shot them a hard look through the visor and then focused on Jim. – I'll see your sweet ass at home. – She said sardonically before shooting Hannah a final death glare and riding off.

At least she's talking to me. – Jim shrugged and tried to lift the mood a little. Hannah gave a strangled laugh and accepted Jim's offer to give her a ride home.


	36. You're a Cheese

A week later

The cooling down of the relationship between Hannah and Lauren did not go unnoticed in the office. Everyone was onto it from day one and it was becoming more and more difficult for people to stop themselves coming out and asking about it openly. Case in point Kelly, leaning in dangerously close and teetring on her ergomonic chair, trying to eavsedrop on the two in the annex.

Hello. – Came Lauren's formal, but superficially curteous greeting to get Hannah's attention.

Hi. – Hannah glanced quickly up and away. While she debated asking her how she was, whether it would be polite or just serve to further irritate her friend, former friend?, Lauren made a request.

I need to have a look the last quarterly, please. – The 'please' particularly stung.

No problem, just a sec. – Hannah got up and awkwardly navigated around her in the crowded annex. Kelly's spine snapped back into the upright position, causing noise and drawing more attention to her than before.

Here it is. – Hannah handed a folder over and both expertly avoided eye contact, looking up no further than the other's shoulders.

Thank you. – Lauren muttered and Hannah mutterted back – No problem.

Okay, seriously, _what_ is going on? – Kelly rolled over, not able to wait till Lauren was even out of earshot.

What do you mean? – Hannah asked, eyes glued to her computer screen.

You two have been all like _Doth thouest perchance havest the report, govnuh_ and it's really freaky and also obvious. Spill, what's up? – Kelly asked, partly honestly concerned and partly just wanting to be the first to get the scoop.

It's nothing, we're just highly professional, this is an office after all, a place of work. – Hannah answered unconvincingly, but steadfast, making Kelly realize she will not be talking.

* * *

After work, Jim had a drink with some old buddies and came home to a less than pleasant surprise.

Lauren was watching the news intently as a little boy lay with his head in her lap, half dead of boredom.

He-hey, Eric. – The half-laughing, half-choking sound escaped his throat before he knew it.

Eric sat back up and looked at Jim's face for a second, searching. – Jim? Halpert? Larissa's brother? – He got up and shook his hand, as Lauren rolled her eyes and continued to listen to the never-ending report on the severe financial crisis.

Yeah, man, hi. – Jim shook his hand heartily, genuinely pleased to be greeted warmly, even if it's by this kid.

I heard you guys have a new little baby in the family, congratulations! – Eric continued, just as warmly.

Yeah, yeah, he's an awesome little kid. Doesn't do much yet, but we're hopeful. – Jim shrugged and Eric laughed, soft though the joke was.

There was a hint of an awkward pause, when Eric jumped back in helpfully. – You here to see Lauren? – Only then did it hit him it was kind of weird Lauren did not react at all.

Um… - Jim was surprised by the question and was trying to form an answer less blunt than _I actually live here, your girlfriend should have told you that_ , and the word girlfriend made the back of his throat taste bitter.

He lives here, actually. – Lauren finally chimed in.

Oh. – Eric nodded, looking from one to the other, attempting a polite smile. – Uh huh. – He tried pretending he understood what was going on.

It's uh, just temporary, now that I'm back in town. – Jim's humanity won over his jealousy and discomfort and he wanted to make it easier on the kid.

Uh huh, yeah, I get it. – Eric voice went up and, in spite of his impressive physique and bravado, he was just a dumb kid caught in two immature grown up's crossfire.

I know it must be weird for you, but it's, y'know, it's cool, don't worry about it. – Jim gave him an encouraging smack on the shoulder and they walked over to the couch. Jim sat in the adjacent armchair and Eric returned to Lauren's side, this time sitting up and a little further away.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the alarmist, desperate bemoaning of this financial crash and how the world is basically over until it really became too much for everyone but Lauren.

We're still on this? – Jim asked the room and Eric looked up, hopeful.

After no answer came, Jim continued. – The nonstop coverage of this slow mo car wreck?

Lauren finally took the bait. – Well, it's happening, whether we like it or not.

I know that it's happening, but do we need to watch it every night, every hour, all the time? It's not like there's anything new. _There's no money. We're really screwed. Batten down the hatches, buy canned goods, zombies will be roaming the street in a matter of days, your drinking water is killing you… -_ Jim recited the cavalcade of terror that was on a constant loop in the news.

Yeah, I mean, they haven't said anything new in ages, it's… it's really boring. – Eric whispered to Lauren, basically pleading to watch something else.

Whatever. – She stretched her arms over her head and reached for the remote. – What do _you_ wanna watch?

I dunno, the game. The game, duh. – The boys said in unison. There was an immediate shift in the air surrounding them, a tenuous boy connection. Having found out they both cheer for the same team, boom, the connection was made. Life long friends right there.

* * *

Half an hour later, Lauren was staring mutely at the screen, as the two guys craned their necks to talk to each other and relive glorious sports moments from the past.

Jim got up to get some snacks and beers for them and as soon as he was out of the room, Eric turned to Lauren.

Erm, what's going on with you guys? – He stared at her temple.

Nothing. – Lauren answered like a goth teenager.

Okay, no, because something definitely is. – Eric whispered sternly. She was still not reacting and he grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. It wasn't violent and it certainly didn't make her feel unsafe, but it's been quite a long while since anybody acted like that towards her. Before she could protest, Eric continued. – A, stop ignoring me when I'm speaking to you, are you, like, five? B, it's rude to just sit there like a house plant. C, you can't just spring it on me that you have a new roommate and he's a dude and something's definitely effing going on cause you're acting insane and stupid. And you've been acting like that for days now. So stop it. Also, you guys definitely dated, right? And he dumped you or something? So you're pissy or whatever? I dunno what you're doing here, but it's weird and it's not cool and I don't like it. I thought you were better than this. – He turned away, knowing Jim might be back any second.

Lauren was still sitting there, processing what he had said. She was a little surprised and angry, but mostly embarrassed. Because he had some good points. He had all good points. Since her fight with Hannah, she's been moody and quiet and distant. And yes, it wasn't fair to just bring Eric home, knowing he was bound to run into Jim. It was a provocation for both of them, making Jim uncomfortable and pushing Eric to break up with her. Well, not actually break up, they weren't officially dating. For all her brains and knowledge of military and argumentative tactics, she was still self-sabotaging and impulse driven.

Additionally, she had finally realized what it was that felt so familiar about Eric. Sure, he was tall and lanky and attractively disheveled, reminiscent of a younger Jim, which was the initial, rebound attraction. More than that, though, she was attracted to his behavior. Cool and brash, like attractive young guys act, he was confident and forward and did not suffer fools, as she had just found out. He was very much like Joe – a gregarious gym rat with a clear sense of what he wanted and no patience for bullshit. That why it was easy to talk to him and tell him outright, no, I don't wanna hang out tonight, not worrying about his wittwe feewings and, as soon they were alone, it would be easy to tell him point blank what was going on and why she was acting the way she was.

Jim returned and handed Eric a bottle, setting down some peanuts and chips on the table. Lauren, in an effort to join in and show Eric she had heard him, reached for another bottle of beer, twisted it open and cheered them both.

Jim clinked the offered bottle and raised an eyebrow at Eric, checking if he had anything to do with this shift in mood. Eric winked back and took a long, satisfied swig.

* * *

Oh, my god. – Eric laughed, remembering something. – Do you remember? When me and your sister were kids?

Jim started nodding and suppressing a laugh. Lauren suspected that some silly _I had a crush on your sister_ story was coming, but decided to be good about it.

We live close by, you know. – Eric told Lauren, pulling her into the story. – So we were in the same kindergarten and school. Anyway, one day, I give Larissa a bunch of flowers and ask her to be my girlfriend.

Aww, that's cute. My kindergarten boyfriend gave me his box of crayons. They were new and really cool and I liked them, so he gave them to me. To keep! – Lauren emphasized and was met by _oohs_ and _ahhs_ from the boys. – I know, right? So I gave him a kiss. We were together till lunch break.

Wow. – Jim exclaimed. – But Eric actually went above and beyond. I believe you gave her your treasured stegosaurus toy.

No, no, no. You're getting ahead of me. It was a _brachiosaurus_ , fyi…

Yeah, they're not interchangeable, bro. – Lauren jumped in, fake annoyed and rolled her eyes. – Can you believe this guy? – She turned to a smiling Eric, who rolled his eyes as well.

Oh, I apologize. – Jim solemnly placed a hand over his heart.

And it was a three day anniversary present. – Eric continued, index finger up. - Things were getting serious by then.

No doubt. After it continued into day _four_ , mom started putting together a dowry. – Jim conceded. – So you still feel as strongly about those dinosaurs, huh?

Oh, haha, no. I'm not crazy. But I still remember all these different kinds, it's weird how these things stay with you. – Eric shrugged.

Really? – Lauren challenged, intrigued.

Yes, really. – Eric sat up. – Wanna hear some?

Blow my mind. – Lauren requested.

Brontosaurus, velociraptor, diplodocus, tyrannosaurus rex, coelophysis, triceratops, protoceratops, allosaurus, plesiosaur, pterodactyl, megalosaurus. Those were just my favorites. Now, for the lesser known… - Eric was getting into it, but Jim cut in.

Alright, man, that was sufficiently cool. Let me blow _your_ mind. How would you like to hear about aaaaaall the different kinds of paper there are? – Before anyone could answer, Jim launched into the list. – There's stencil paper, ream wrappers, quadrille. Then your computer paper, blotting, paper, etching paper. We got your check papers, tracing paper, bright enamels . – There was a pause as he tried to come up with more. – Aspen ash.

That's a cheese. – Lauren deadpanned.

You're a cheese. – Jim returned the deadpan.

Well, this paper/cheese talk is illuminating, but I gotta get going. – Eric got up. Lauren and Jim followed.

I'll see you around, man. – Jim shook his hand and retreated into the kitchen to give them some time alone.

* * *

At the door, they stopped.

I'm sorry if this was uncomfortable, I should have told you in advance. How about we get lunch tomorrow and I'll explain what's going on? It really is… unusual. – Lauren put her hands on his hips and played with his belt loops.

Alright. – Eric answered after a pause. – It was actually fun, I think I'm gonna go brush up on dinosaur categorization. And see what bright enamels are.

They shared a quick kiss and Lauren went back in to find Jim flipping through the channels. Instead going back into his bedroom, like he did most days and nights, he decided to stay.

They shared a tight lipped smile as Lauren contemplated staying or going.

He's a good guy. I'm gonna miss running into him once I'm gone. – Jim said, not looking away from the screen. He was nice enough, but there was his usual smugness somewhere in there and it never failed to hit a nerve with Lauren. When they were together, she could wrestle or fuck that superior glint right out of his eye, but now she had far fewer options, especially when she tried to be cool.

Before she decided between a quip and fleeing, Jim changed the subject. – So when are you gonna stop this nonsense with Hannah? She's really upset about this.

Lauren sighed. Everyone was right, it was nonsense. The worst part of it is, of course, her anger disappeared as fast as it showed up, as always. She knew it. Jim knew it. Hannah surely knew it. But it was hard to swallow her pride. – I dunno. I'm not even angry, really. When we're apart, I really miss her, but as soon as I see her, I just wanna scream in her face. – She sprawled on the couch.

Well, you're being a child. – Jim scolded, not caring that Lauren could easily play the _You invaded my space_ card and tell him to eat it. – Soon enough I will get another place and you'll be left with nothing to be mad at and no best friend.

I know, I know. – Lauren rubbed her eyes, stretching. – About that, how's it going?

Meh. I don't like the bachelor pads, I want something more serious than that. But then, I don't have a reason to be getting something _more serious._ – He laughed self derisively. Lauren returned a small smile, one of the few relaxed, earnest ones she gave him since he returned. – I feel kinda foolish about this whole thing. Plus, I left a really good job, the hell was I think? – He asked, mock panicking.

Aww, there, there, man. – Lauren reached out and took his hand, play comforting. She was going to squeeze it and pull away, but somehow it lingered and Jim's thumb stroked the back of her hand gently. If it weren't for her massive amount of pride, she would have crawled into his lap and cuddled and kissed him till they passed out from saliva depletion. Her pride urged her to snap her hand back and stalk out of the room, but with a huge deal of effort, she shut it up. Instead, she looked at him for a few seconds. He looked back, trying to read her reaction. She then slowly got up, ruffled his hair up and went into her room.


	37. Wedding 20

Saturday, day of Joe's wedding

Lauren took Eric out to breakfast to explain what was happening. She was hoping for a quick, clean break, so she had enough time to get ready – she needed to do everything, from waxing and washing her hair to ironing her dress and memorizing her speech.

* * *

So that's the story. I dunno when or even if Pam is coming back, I haven't wanted to bring it up. I duuno how long finding a place will take. I don't even know what I'm gonna do once he's gone, search for a roommate? Move? We'll see. I'm just trying to live my life. – Lauren explained and shrugged.

Eric listened carefully as he sipped his coffee. When she was done, he put down the cup and sat up straight. – Okay, I see. I now get your fight with Hannah, that was a weird move. And you have every right to take some time and figure things out. – He considered apologizing for snapping at her the other night, but he opted not to. After all, he was right in his every assumption and she probably needed to hear it. – But you were definitely not over him when we started hooking up. And it kinda looks to me like he's not over you, guys can sense when another dude it trying to get up in there. – He took another sip, letting his wisdom sink in. – So I think we might as well cool it. I'd hate for us to keep forcing this thing and then end it violently. I prefer to stay friends with my exes. Or hook ups. – He motioned to Lauren, careful to point they were not in a relationship, per her wish.

Her heart sank a little, she had to admit. Eric was fun and confident and the sex kept getting better, it was a great destresser. But, like she had always told herself and him, he should have room to pursue a real relationship and mature. – You little player, you. – Lauren scoffed and sipped her smoothie.

I do what I do. – He shrugged, smirking.

Oh, god, don't say that, it's so douchey. – Lauren frowned, snorting.

It's swagger. – He winked, flashing a dazzling smile. Ugh, she definietely had a type – the smug and charming.

It's douchebaggery. – She insisted. – Now that we're done, I feel like I can tell you. – She teasted.

Oh, yeah? We're laying it all out? – He folded his arms on the table, amused.

I guess. – She shrugged.

Okay, I'm a bit of a douche. You're somewhat of a bitch. - He squeezed quietly through his teeth.

I've heard that before. – She nodded.

You're too proud and you misdirect your anger. – He continued in the same smug and playful tone. That one stung though. If this kid coud pick up on it, despite most of their communication being _are you home_ and _did you get condoms_ , then ouch. It was about time she worked on it.

And you pull way too hard on my neck, _cowgirl._ – He said meaningfully. – That's a porn move, you gotta be careful in real life.

A mischievous, one-sided smile replaced the introspection. – I do get carried away. At the rodeo. – She bit her lip. – Sorry.

It's all good, I liked it. I;m warning you for the sake of other people. – He winked again. – Listen, if you ever need someone to spar with, I'm your guy. Who am I kidding, if you want someone to…rodeo with, I'm also your guy there. But figure your shit out first, okay? – He got up and gave her a peck on the cheek before leaving.

* * *

Back at the house, Jim was in his old sweats, watching TV and having yesterday's pizza.

Oh god, look at you. You look like a before in an anti-depressant commercial. – Lauren shuddered.

I feel like an after, though, this is amazing. – He shrugged, nonplussed.

She contemplated for a second. – Let me get in on that. – She said as she plopped down next to him.

Didn't you just have breakfast with dinosaur kid? – He asked, sliding the box on his lap towards her.

No, he just wanted coffee, so I had a smoothie. I didn't wanna look unladylike. – She said as she shoved cold pizza in her facehole.

Yeah, I can see that. – Jim took a small, dainty bite and chewed it slowly.

Fut up. – Lauren hit his shoulder, pieces of crust threatening to shoot out of her mouth as she shouted.

They both laughed at this, as Lauren continued to push his thigh with her foot, in mock anger.

Oh, that's good. – She sighed as she swallowed and took another giant bite.

So when do you need to start getting ready? – Jim relaxed after she started pushing him and they leaned on each other, shoulder to shoulder.

I'm definitely gonna decimate this pizza first. And then I'm starting, I dunno when Hannah's gonna be here. – She shrugged.

Oh, you're talking again? Awesome! – Jim smacked her knee happily and rested his hand there.

No, we're not. – Lauren frowned, a little sad. – But she knows I need a ride.

As good at as it felt to be touching Lauren and not to receive protests, he took his hand off and shifted to face her. – So?

So? – She repated. – I'm his best man, she knows that. She's not just gonna go without me.

Um? – Jim shook his head in disbelief. – You basically told her to never talk to you again and go to hell.

I think you're putting word in my mouth... – Lauren interrupted.

No. – Jim cut in before she could make a joke. – And you expect her to just come up here and be at your service, like some lackey?

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying she knows the situation and I'm sure she knows I need her. You don't know her, she'll be here. – Lauren patted his arm reassuringly.

Alright, maybe you have some relationship that transcends whichever treatment you put her through. Lord knows we have one. – He muttered, getting up and going into the kitchen.

* * *

A few hours later, Lauren was waxed, showered, perfumed, hairstyled and applying blush the way she saw some girl do it on YouTube. The temperature had dropped and it was slowly beginning to rain, so she decided to pack her heels in a separate bag and wear her boots in the car on the way over.

You look great. – Jim commented, looking up from the magazine he was leafing through.

Thank you. – Lauren responded honestly. – You ain't seen nothing yet, though. – She said, excited to be putting on the dress and tying the look together.

* * *

She was ironing her dress with a a few big curlers in her hair, the strands in the front were losing their shape quickly. Pack hairspray, now, before you forget, she thought, and ran into the bathroom.

She came back, let the bottom of the dress cool down for a few seconds before putting it on. Jim looked her up and down, in her strapless bra and underwear.

Take a picture, it'll last longer. – She rolled her eyes as she unzipped the dress and started shimmying into it. She heard a click and saw that Jim was taking a photo with his phone as she bent over to step into the dress.

Hey, no! – She lost balance and teetered ferociously, one leg inside the dress, one arm pulling the top up and ran over, curlers bouncing, trying to pry the phone out of his hands.

He jumped up and they ran two circles around a chair before Jim teased. - This is embarrassing, just get dressed. – He smirked as she strggled to run.

Alright. Dickhead. – She mumbled as she began pulling the dress back up and heard another click. – Mother-!

* * *

She was all set. Hair done and sprayed rigid. Makeup pretty good, considering this was probably the second time she was wearing more than eyeshadow and lipstick. The dress was adorable, sweetheart neckline and flared at the bottom, perfect match for her hair and skin. Spare shoes packed. Any second now.

* * *

She unpacked her makeup and brushed her eyebrows , which were not out of place, again. She was feeling queasy, trying not to look at the clock and confirm what she had been suspecting for the past half hour.

* * *

She double-triple-quadruple checked for her dress shoes and hairspray in her overnight bag. Dry swallows. Shaky hands. Guilt nausea. Hannah was gone. If they were gonna make it in time for the ceremony, they needed to have left at least 15 minutes ago. If they were gonna be there a little early and account for a bit of delay in traffic, they should set off at least 45 minutes to an hour before. A deep shudder ran all over her body and a lump formed in her throat. Hannah was angry. The situation had gone from _Lauren lost her shit, let's let her blow off some steam_ , to _fuck that bitch, I'm not putting up with that anymore_. And worst of all, Lauren agreed Hannah had every right to give up waiting on her to get her shit together. Lauren had hoped they could work it out today, on the way there, to their good friend's wedding and have a big, life affirming party and finally start getting back to normal. Instead, it was going to be another bitter-sweet affair that just confirms she sucks at life and nothing is going right. Stupid tears sting her eyes and she sprinted into the bathrrom to get some toilet paper to soak them up before they spilled over and ruined her mascara.

* * *

You still here? – Jim came out of his room as he heard the bathroom door slam.

Yeah. – She replied a little shakily, as she tried to dry her eyes. – Shit. – She muttered as the clump of paper jabbed her eyeball.

It's getting pretty late. – Jim said meaningfully. – Are you and Hannah perchance flying over there? Teleporting? – He leaned against the door and nearly stumbled when Lauren flung the door open.

No, I suck and she hates me. – She threw her hands up, hating that he is here and that he was right and that he can gloat. – And, as we speak, I'm missing my friend's wedding and he's gonna hate me too! Fuck! – She threw the wadded paper as she felt burning tears melt her mascara and knot her lashes.

Before Jim could reply, she pushed past him, picked up her bag and jacket, and started putting her helmet on.

Hey, whoa, what are you doing? – He walked briskly over.

What does it look like, I gotta get to New York. – She explained as she made her way to the door. Jim dashed over and smacked his body against the door, barricading her way.

No way. New York is hours away and it's raining and you're a mess. – He gripped her arms tightly, trying to get her to snap out of it.

At that last comment, one of her hands reached for her face and the other for her dress, thinking she had ruined all the hard work she put into looking good. Jim laughed, disbelieving and despairing.

You look beautiful, you dumbass. You're upset, is what I mean. – He turned her around forcefully, stripping the jacket off. – Sit tight, gimme two minutes, I'm driving you.

Oh! – Lauren lit up. – That's right, your car. You can just give it to me, I can drive.

You've never driven from Scranton to New York before. – He said, disappearing into his room and rumbling around.

I mean… I'll figure it out, you don't have to…come. – She answered, insecure.

The rumbling stopped and Jim reemerged, with an exasperated and hurt look on his face. –Look, I don't…have to go, I don't expect to be at the wedding, okay? – He said offended, looking at the ground. – I'm just trying to help. You are clearly distraught and you don't know where you need to go, I can get us there safe and fast. – He explained, clearly disappointed by her reaction.

It's not…it's not that. – She offered shyly, also looking down. – I just mean, you're not ready, what would you even wear? – The last part was almost inaudible.

In spite of himself, Jim immediately looked up. – I got that covered! – He smiled broadly. He went back in and came out with a plastic wrapped suit. – I wore it to that website launching party in New York. I looked like James Bond. – He said, self-satisfied.

Lauren's face burst into an enorumous smile, relieved and truly happy. It hadn't occurred to her how much she wanted to have a date at the wedding and how good it would feel for Jim to be it. – Alright then, Mr. Bond, let's shake a leg!

While he struggled to carry her bag, his suit and hold an umbrella, joggin to the car, Lauren dashed back into the bathroom for a final retouch. The makeup wasn't too smeared. She fanned her eyes for a bit and then looked at her elated reflection, squealing with joy, hoping Jim wouldn't hear.

Come on! Move it, Webber! – Jim bellowed from the door and she bit her lip as she ran into his extended arms. He held her tight under the umbrella as they ran to the car, opened her door and ran to the other side. – Let's do this! – He flashed a dazzling smile as he started the car and turned the radio on, getting them pumped for the party.

* * *

On the way there, they sang along to the songs on the radio and, in between good ones, Lauren told Jim about Joe and Kat's relationship, feeling a little self-conscious as she explained how Joe was convinced that it was a terrible idea to go back to someone you had broken up with, knowing that Jim was aware she shared this opinion. And there he was, marrying the girl who had broken his heart. And there she was, driving to his wedding with the guy who had broken hers. Still, the next 80s hit forced those thoughts out of her head. They told each other their misadverntures at other weddings and eventually reminisced about Phyllis's.

Oh, god, kevin's band! – Lauren grabbed his arm for support, like she usually did as she laughed so hard it was silent.

The played the hell out of _Roxanne_ , you gotta give them that. – Jim said dead serious, knowing it would make Lauren laugh even harder. It did.

And Michael! – She smacked him, remembering, - Hijacking the spotlight. – They both laughed and shook their heads. – I'm definitely having him at my wedding, though. No one from back home believes me he's real.

Oh, I know that feelimg. – Jim replied, remembering the reactions when he talked about Michael and Dwight to people in Stamford.

They sat smiling in silence, remembering the wedding and they undoutedly had the same memories pop up. They side eyed each other, Lauren almost bursting with laughter.

And the song I did! – She laughed gleefully. – God, how embarrassing, I must have been drunker than I thought…

No, not embarrassing, it was adorable and also kind of hot in places. – Jim assured her. That's the night I realized I was totally in love with you, he thought.

She was looking at him, knowing he had more to say and noticed his expression change. – What? – She chuckled, preparing herself for some put down.

He looked at her and opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't force the words out. There was something familiar about that expression on his face and, suspecting she knew what he was thinking, she decided to let it go. Come on, gimme a hit, she glared at the radio. _You Give Love A Bad Name_! No, not that one. _Take On Me, Venus, Thriller_ , anything! _Eventually, That's The Way (I Like It)_ began and they happily joined the music.

* * *

Everything was taking place in the hotel where joe had announced his engagement to her, so at least there was no confusion there. They drove right at the speed limit, even faster, when there were few cars on the road. Joe was getting worried and texting her, as she damn well should have been there by now, and they were still at least half an hour away. She assured him she was coming and she would act as their witness, even if she arrived only in time to sign the papers and kept apologizing. Being a laid back guy, this was enough for Joe. It's not like anything else about this event was conventional.

* * *

The rain had stopped, luckily, so Jim and Lauren could run as fast as they could to get inside the hotel, his suit flapping like a cape behind him, her bag smacking her hip as she ran. The reception was forewarned that a frantic, formally dressed woman would be appearing soon and to help her find her way. She changed her shoes in the elevator as Jim took his suit out and started ubottoning his jeans. The bellhop looked at him, horrified, so Jim decided to run into the men's room and change there.

Lauren walked as fast as she could to the bride and groom table, where the officials were already laying down the registry and getting ready to give a short speech. Turns out Kat's cousin is a justice of the peace and is able to perform the ceremony, so they deicded to wait till Lauren showed up. He gave a lovely speech, a few quips and cheers were heard from the crowd and soon, they were pronounced man and wife. They all signed, Joe and Kat shared a kiss, after which Joe did a backflip, unhampered by his penguin suit and Kat covered her eyes, shaking her head at the gorilla she just married. Lauren hugged her, congratulating her and apologizing profulsely for making her day stressful. Kat was cool, saying she was used to stress, dating a guy like Joe. Lauren turned to find Joe looking at her and he whooped loudly and excitedly as she gave him a big, forceful hug.

We did it! – He yelled as he squeezed her hard. – We really did it. – He repeated quietly, only for Lauren to hear. – She's my wife, it's really happening. – She could hear those throaty sounds and she knew he was moved to tears. She just nodded and hugged him harder.

You did. It's done, she's your wife, you're her husband. That's amazing. – She whispered as she grabbed the sides of his face to look at his eyes. They just shared an honest moment, in which they looked back on all their mistakes and stupidity, everything that led to this ecstatic happiness before hugging again and letting other peole come up to the couple to congratulate them.

* * *

Jim was standing by the door, his hair slicked on the sides, fixing his cufflinks into place. He noticed Lauren watching him and cocked an eyebrow at her before he started walking over. She met him half way and tried to keep a straight face.

Mr. Bond. – She greeted and he looked into the distance, all serious and smoldering. The next moment, he was his goofy self again, laughing like a kid. – You look good. – She complimented, feeling it was the least she could after he was good enough to drive her here.

I look damn good. – He corrected playfully.

Yes, you do. – She looked him in the eyes for a few moments before he offered his arm and went into the crowd to congratulate the couple.

Joe saw him and embraced him heartily even before Jim had been able to wish him all the best. At first Jim thought maybe he didn't recognize him, but then he realized no, this was just the kind of guy Joe was. He was able to move on and forgive. In his heart, he hoped Lauren and her friend shared that quality. Next, he extended his hand to congratulate Kat who was polite, but obviously didn't know who he was.

This is Jim, Lauren's date. – Joe leaned over and told Kat before Lauren had formulated a sentence.

Oh, _Jim_! – Kat said knowingly and glanced between Lauren and him before shaking his hand warmly.

Congratulations, I wish you a long and happy marriage. – Jim said, looking between Joe and Kat and the two couldn't keep the smiles off their faces.

Aww, man, thanks, you too, all the best, I'm stoked you're here! – Joe hit him on the shoulder in a friendly way, though his heavy hands did send a shock through Jim's system.

He's handsome! – Kat leaned over to Lauren as Joe was talking to Jim and squeezed her hand excitedly.

He is. – Lauren simply agreed, not wanting to drag her drama into Kat's big day, she had caused enough problems already.

* * *

For a while after, people talked amomgst themselves and Lauren caught up with some old friends. Jim was going back and forth between Lauren's and Hannah's tables, finally settling with Danny at the bar. Lauren was eager to get a chance to be alone with Hannah, but decided to give it some time and try to get her alone once the party kicked off.

Jim excused himself from a couple of girls who were already quite drunk and flirting with him and made his way over to Laren.

Um, so I have an awkward point to raise with you. And er, Joe, I guess. – He came up behind her and whispered into her hair.

What? – She leaned into him, preferring to rest against his chest than to turn around.

Well, I stashed my civilian clothes in one of the bathrooms… - He began, running a hand up her arm. She giggled. – So it would be good if I could get into a room and move them there.

Okay. – Lauren nodded, taking his hand and leading him to Joe and Kat's table.

Joe had rented a bunch of rooms; now that he was signed, he was kind of enjoying blowing money pointlessly. But Kat was there to reign him in. He knew his friends and Kat knew her friends, people were bound to hook up and/or get drunk, they preferred to have rooms available for all eventualities.

There was a round glass bowl with dozens of keys in it; every key had an extra heart pendant on it because of the wedding. Lauren was gonna say it looked like a fun thing a whorehouse might do, but she decided to keep that comment to herself.

Oh, yeah, you can pick out whatever room you want, do whatever you want, we're cool with it. – Joe led the pair to the bowl and winked, like an easy-going dad.

Lauren rolled her eyes and Jim explained. – I just need a place to put my stuff…

Don't we all? – Joe said and before they could protest, he backed away. – Whatever you need to do. – He gave a _help yourself_ gesture and walked away.

* * *

While Jim was away, Lauren was at the bar, getting a drink. It had been a while since she was drinking, she was getting buzzed.

Hannah leaned on the counter next to her and faced the room. Lauren looked at her for a few moments, gathering the thoughts and summoning humility and courage.

Hey. – She took a step closer, looking at the hem of her dress.

Hey. You made it. – Hannah said mostly neutrally, but she was actually relieved they were finally speaking, no matter o\how stifled the converstaion.

Yeah. I thought for a second I wouldn't. – Lauren answered, no accusation in her tone. – But thankfully, I'm here.

With Jim. – Hannah pointed out.

Yes. – Lauren ceded. – He took me, he was really lovely.

Uh-huh. – Hannah huffed, playing with the rim of her glass, silently gloating.

Lauren took in a sharp breath. – Look, I really want to apologize, but I don't want to do it over drinks at a bar.

Hannah nodded knowingly. – I know, it's okay. Me neither. It's neither the time not the place. I'm just happy you're here. I'm happy to see you.

I am _so_ happy to see you. – Lauren immediately reached for her hand and squeezed it lovingly. Hannah squeezed back, gave her a quick reassuring look and joined Danny back at her table.

Though the interaction was short and nothing was really resolved, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. She downed her Jägermeister in one and immediately ordered another.

* * *

Dinner was great and it tasted even better to a drunk Lauren. The party was soon in full swing as some old friends of Joe's who had a band started playing. They were really good and played some good old school rock, heavy metal and grunge, none of that pop bs. Dancing and thrashing around made Lauren sober up a little. Then came a slower block of songs. Joe's friends took a break and the band Kat hired took over, playing Elvis, Sinatra, Orbison… Lauren sat down, but was coaxed into slow dancing soon after by Jim.

Come on, I thought I broke you in at the last wedding we were at together. – He complained, pushing her gently backwards onto the dancefloor with his body, pinwheeling her arms to get her to relax.

She groaned, but let him lead her anyway. – I forgot everything in the meantime.

Then let me remind you. – He pulled his head back, standing up at full height as he dragged her arms up and locked them behind his neck. She sighed, disguising how great it felt to be this close to him. He ran his hands down her sides, something he hadn't gotten to do in a while. Because of her training, having her sides exposed made her feel vulnerable and having them touched was like being shocked with a livewire. His hands rested on her hips and Jim swayed them slowly.

After a minute or two of this, he brought his hands up, stroking her hair and drawing her closer in, into a hug. Then he rested his forehead on hers silently and they were hardly even moving. She had her eyes closed and assumed he did too.

Thank you. This is… all so wonderful. – Lauren told him and swallowed hard. – It's even better becasue you're here. – She said so quietly she was sure he wouldn't hear.

Mhm. – Jim breathed and Lauren could feel his chest going up and down faster and faster. His hand found its way to her cheek and he held it there as he gave her a tentative peck on the lips. When she didn't pull away, he rested his lips on hers a little bit longer before beginning to kiss her more deeply and forcefully. She returned the kiss with elation, pulling him lower and pushing her body into his. They only stopped when they were completely out of breath. They looked at each other, the same question in their eyes. Lauren licked her lips as she was catching her breath and pulled him closer by the belt. She gave him another kiss, eyes open, checking his reaction. Seeing him close his eyes hard, with a tortured, desperate look on his face, she knew she was doing the right thing. She grabbed his hand and he clung to her hard. She led him to the bowl and picked the same key he had picked before. Something occurred to her though and she pushed him off and started walking as fast as she could through the crowd. Hannah happened to be near the table where the bowls were, talking to some old friends and she caught Jim's gaze. He looked down uncharacteristically shyly and then back up, smiling triumphantly and giving her a grateful look.

Eww, I don't wanna high five you with my eyes as you're about to bang my best friend. – She said after walking the few paces over to him. - Just go.

He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a quick, hard kiss on the cheek.

Eww, man, honestly. Just have her back happy and purring. – Hannah rolled her eyes and walked off, shuddering.

Lauren had grabbed her purse and was weaving back through the crowd when she bumped into something hard.

I can't believe you're about to get laid before me. On my wedding day. - Joe shook his head.

A small part of her blushed and another part wanted to kick him. - Please, as if you didn't hit that already today. I know that glow, that's not bronzer. – Lauren nodded in Kat's direction and Joe threw up his arms, as in _what are you gonna do_. Lauren was feeling a mix of nerves and thrill and it came out in a big laugh as she smiled at Joe, looking for support. He smacked her butt and nodded, proceeding to mingle with his guests.

When lauren found Jim, he was looking like a lost puppy in the crowd. When he spotted her, he looked at her expectantly, looking to see if she had changed her mind.

She walked slowly past him, inviting him to look at her walk, her body swaying, and follow.

* * *

They walked rather indifferently down the hall, not wanting too much attention from the servers and guests. In the elevator, it was on. Before they even got to their floor, his shirt was untucked and her dress was unzipped. As they walked to their room, she was leading him by the belt and his hand was slowly massaging the back of her neck. Lauren was unlocking the door and it took several tries as Jim was pressing her up the door and rubbing himself against her back.

Once inside, their clothes were off before they even knew how. Lauren quickly crawled up the bed and Jim pulled her closer, pulling her underwear off and wrapping her legs around his waist. He began running his hands over her, over all the spots she liked, the back of her knee, her sides, kissing her neck in the place that made her take in hissing breaths. But Lauren was not into foreplay. With one hand, she rummaged through her bag on the nightstand, with the other, she took him and started stroking. Jim clenched his jaw and a stifled moan found its way out through his nose. She had fished out her wallet and only stopped for a second to get out the condom. Jim put it on deftly and was in.

They moved together, fast and urgent, him pushing, her grinding. After a bit, they were both groaning and getting more rigid, having started on the road to release. Jim kissed her and she returned the kiss eagerly, but soon, it was just open mouths touching as they couldn't focus enough to kiss, what their bodies were doing was too distracting. Her moans vibrating on his lips and filling his mouth and head made his ears ring, he soon felt like he couldn't hear at all. Everything felt dark, as he had his eyes shut, solely focused on his sensations. He felt he was close and he was enjoying it too much and didn't have the presence of mind to use the usual techniques to stave off the inevitable. Fuck it, he didn't want to. He had waited for this for so long; he was not putting it off any longer. He started grinding on her, knowing he couldn't last long enough to make her climax. Instead he focused on her outside, wanting her to have some release too before he did. He started going faster and felt her stomach tense up under him. Reading her body, he used his deft fingers to help her along, knowing exactly the spots and moves that made her groan and shudder. He felt her grab his neck and completely tense up and goddamn, if it didn't make him cum on the spot. Still he huffed and tried to shut it out until he felt her go completely limp under him, shudder and spasm a few more times and then relax. It only took a few more seconds for him to get there too. The ringing was back in his ears and slowly, as he rested his head on her shoulder and breathed more deeply and evenly, it felt like sight and sound returned to him as well. He could once again discern where he was. Bed. Hotel. New York. Wedding. Huh. Fuck, that was amazing.

They laid together for a while, catching their breath until Jim thought maybe he should move and let her stretch out and relax. He pulled out gingerly and laid back at her side as she was licking her lips and swallowing. Feeling him look at her, she started laughing, satisfied and relieved. He joined her laugh and stretched out, taking the condom off.

Ho! – Lauren huffed as she finished laughing. – That was great. – She pet his stomach tenderly.

Mhh. – Jim moaned in agreement, rolling closer and kissing her shoulder. They laid there contededly for a few momets, gathering their wits and getting to a state where they could rejoin the guests. Jim pushed a hand under her back, rolling her into his chest and started kissing her face, chest, shoulders, whatever he could reach. She giggled and caught his lips a few times as their faces got close.

They looked into each other's eyes, blissful and glowing. Lauren touched his face gently and ran her finger over his eyebrow. She had always loved those, it was one of the first things she liked about him. Jim inched closer and closer and they kissed again. At first tenderly, like they always did after making love, but as she wrapped a leg around him and he pulled her waist in, more and more passionately. This time, she was receptive to his caresses, wanting to go slow. They both touched the other in their preferred ways, eliciting moans and giggles and teasing looks. They moved together more slowly, lovingly, until the end, both falling down exhausted, wishing to just pass out and sleep. They spooned until they no longer felt sweaty and raw and worn out. Lauren carried her clothes and purse into the bathroom to retouch her makeup, while Jim slicked his hair into place looking into a mirror on the inside of a closet. When she was ready, Lauren came out and joined Jim. He extended an arm and she hugged him around the waist as he kissed and breathed in her hair. They walked slowly and contendedly down the hall and into the elevator, ready to rejoin the crowd.

* * *

So? :)


	38. Lovefool

And we're back in business! :D  
I'm sorry for the long pause, I've been busy with some university-related stuff and (frustratingly and through no fault of my own) the endeavor took much longer than I anticipated and it is still not over. Anywho, I say this because it will stop me from coming back to writing in the measure I would like for a little while longer.

Thank you to everybody who was patient and who wanted a new chapter as well as the new people who became interested in the story. The fact you would take time out of your day to read and write kind things honestly means more than it's easy to express.

* * *

In the elevator, there was still the light post-coital glow dancing around them. If you asked, neither could really tell you what just happened, why they ever broke up or indeed what they wanted. All Lauren knew was that she was seeing the same smile, kind of bashful, he always wore with her in private and the contrast between his usual calculatedly goofy, but ultimately cocky behavior was endlessly endearing. Jim was surveying her face, loving how one eyebrow was slightly more arched than the other and how her collar bones etched under her skin as she took long, wistful breaths. He was playing with strands of her hair, tucking them in place, taking great pleasure in the fresh memory of pulling and stroking them out of place.

Lauren's hands reached out, wanting to busy themselves doing something on Jim's body, but he, other than the intoxicated look on his face, he was back to his put-together self. So she settled on loosening his bowtie.

Round three, Webber? In the elevator? – Jim joked, feigning shock.

We're in the home stretch, Halpert. – She retorted, cocking an eyebrow while saying his last name. – You can cut loose.

Yeah? – He asked, closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around his waist. The elevator dinged and the door started opening and, after a disappointed pause, the pair started laughing and, arms around each other's waists, made their way into the reception hall.

* * *

The party was in full swing and hardly anyone even took notice of the two people missing. After they sat back down, they both realized they were famished and ate ravenously, occasionally stopping to laugh and moan and roll their eyes gluttonously as they vacuumed food in. Just as they were starting to daydream and lustfully discuss the prospect of cake, one of the bridesmaids informed Lauren the toasts would be up next. At Joe's behest, they were pushed back to later in the evening. Knowing he did this because of her and her escapades with Jim, Lauren slightly blushed and once again felt overwhelmingly thankful for the kindness shown to her.

First up was Kat's maid of honor and sister. She gave a sweet speech about how emotional it was that her big sister was getting married and what a good guy Joe was. Lauren was touched and tried hard to focus on the moment at hand and not the fact that she had not even fully finished writing her speech or the fact that she couldn't remember a word of it now. There was something in there about the time Joe pulled a tendon and put on some gel an Asian dude gave him, that ended up giving him a rash and Kat wouldn't let him bang her till it subsided. Of course, she was under the impression she has put it more eloquently and charmingly in her speech, but fuck—

And now, Lauren, Joe's best man. – Kat's sister announced and the room filled with laughter. – I'm sorry, Joe insisted that I introduce you that way. – She said as she moved across the floor to hand the microphone over to Lauren.

While Lauren was fixing her dress, Jim gave her knee a supportive squeeze. He could tell her eyes were darting around and she was kind of nervous. This was further evidenced by the fact her dress was caught under one of the chair legs and she struggled to get up more than a woman of her grace should. In an instant, Jim was up and behind her, pulling the chair out and fanning the dress out.

You're gonna do great, relax. – He whispered as he let the dress fall down, giving her a look that was totally serious and convinced. – It's you, it's Joe, it's his big day. Just talk to him. – He advised and her thoughts immediately crystallized. She knew what she wanted to say. She placed a hand on his cheek as a thank you and gave him a soft, but deliberate kiss before taking the mic and turning to face Joe's table.

Thank you, thanks. – She started as the applause subsided. – Oh, man, I wish I could say what I want to say without this spotlight, I worry it's gonna make me veer or make things come out wrong. How did you do it so coolly? – She pointed a mock-accusing finger at Kat's sister and the guests laughed. – It is, though. You know how sometimes people say they don't want to make something about themselves, but actually that's exactly what they want? Well, I really don't. I'm _gonna_ , but I don't want to. – She emphasized and more laughs came. - I tell you this only to illustrate a greater point. I feel like I almost ruined the wedding today. – She paused and there were no laughs. - I was late, for a second I thought I would miss the whole ceremony, I would mess up, lose the rings, not be able to sign as witness… Just ruin everything. – She admitted and felt eyes either look at her intently to see what her point was or in confusion, as in, who is this mess of a girl? - That's a really self-aggrandizing thing to say, no? I realize now I'm just a little extra in the movie of this wedding, I don't have the significance to ruin anything. The significance of this day is that Joe and Kat are ready to share their life. No, they're ready to let all of _us_ know. That's it. – She amended her statement. - They've already been sharing it. I know for a fact that Joe has been in love with Kat since they first met. – She sighed as a few aww's were drawled. – And that's another thing people like to say, right? But it's true. Maybe it wasn't the level of love they share today, but he was smitten and he has thought of her warmly and lovingly ever since. So they have been sharing their lives. Today… - She shrugged. – They're just letting us in on the game. So thank you for that. I am so happy and truly. Truly. – She emphasized. – Honored to be here. – Joe's eyes were a little misty, but he would later go on to say he was trying to hold in a fart. – If I may be selfish for a little longer, Joe is the first of my close friends to get married and it's weird. – People laughed. Lauren joined. – It really is. It's the first time somebody I know so well is electing to take on this step. This commitment. And I know some of the concerns that Joe and Kat have as a couple, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know someone with a career like Joe's is not the easiest to keep up with. But seeing the way they have treated each other and the way they went about things, even today, makes me really confident. As much as of a big deal as a day like today is, Joe and Kat would be crazy about each other even they were in different galaxies. It wouldn't matter if the rings weren't there, or some schmo from the street signed the paper, nothing would change. And that is the true strength and value of your bond. I see that. And it's beautiful. – The last two sentences came out choked and the room was filled with aww's and applause. Lauren raised her glass to the couple and mouthed _I love you_. People were still applauding as the three embraced and one of Joe's buddies took the mic and decided to regale the crowd with a story about how the proposal Joe planned was almost botched by a Czechoslovakian wrestler suffering a concussion, but how bribery with some top shelf sativa and the promise of a night out with a female bodybuilder set thing back on course.

* * *

The toasts continued until they climaxed with red-eyed parents telling the tales of their children growing up and finding wonderful mates to share their lives with. After the applause and the emotional charge, the couple thanked everybody and asked for another round of drinks and some lively music. Champagne and dancy tunes filled the room. Lauren intercepted a waiter and took two glasses of champagne off the tray.

Jim's arms snaked around her. – Is that for me?

Uh-huh. – Lauren answered, distracted, as the crowd cleared in such a way that she could see Hannah fixing her bracelet, with an empty chair next to her.

Jim saw the same opportunity and, gathering her hair in his palm to bare her shoulder, suggested – How about you bring that over to her? – before placing a kiss on the spot he cleared.

Hmm. – Lauren shifted her weight, knowing Danny would probably be back soon. – But what do I say?

I don't think you really need to say anything. – Jim shrugged and admired the back of her neck and shoulder blade. Sensing she was eager to go, but nervous, he smacked her bottom lightly and spurred her on. – Go get her, Webber.

Lauren closed her eyes, a frog in her throat and decided, to hell with it, to hell with her pride and senseless obstacles, and forced her feet in Hannah's direction.

Once in front of her, she couldn't decide on how to get her attention, so she stuck out an arm, a glass in her hand and waited till Hannah looked up. She was putting a hand mirror into a compartment of her purse and the process seemed agonizingly long to Lauren. Her foot was spasming for wanting to tap nervously and she almost turned on her heels to leave when Hannah looked up and breathed in sharply in surprise. Another moment till she processed the glass was stuck out in offering to her and she accepted, one hand on her chest calming her racing heart, smiling. When she recovered, the two shared a warm, though slightly sad smile, and clinked glasses.

Cheers. – Said Lauren as she tipped the glass and took a hardy sip.

Cheers. – Hannah retorted, doing the same and then setting the glass on the table.

Lunch on Monday? – Lauren offered humbly, with wide, sincere eyes.

Hannah nodded, looking enthusiastic and hopeful at the prospect.

* * *

I take it things went well? – Jim asked when he finally came back to their table. He had been off with Danny at the bar and then he disappeared, but was back again. The majority of people were once again dancing, working off some of the dinner and making room for the cake.

Lauren was sitting, making absent-minded circles on the tablecloth with her nails, a small smile on her lips. – Yes, I'd say so. We'll talk about everything on Monday.

Awesome. – Jim reclined in his chair for a moment, facing the dancing crowd. Now it was his face that bore the absent-minded smile.

What? – Lauren leaned on her elbows.

Hm? – Jim asked, eyes still lost in the crowd, the corner of his mouth upturned.

What are you smiling about? – Lauren almost asked _what are you thinking about_ , but she couldn't let such a cliché roll out of her mouth. This was marginally better, right?

Oh, it's just this waitress slipped me her number… - Jim reached for his pocket and received a punch on the thigh that held little back. The fact it was so forceful only made it sweeter in his eyes and he laughed. – No, seriously, its just… It's a good day, it's a great party… I'm happy. – He offered an upturned palm on the table and Lauren looked at it for a moment before placing her hand on top of it. Right on cue, the familiar beats of a song played and Jim got up, closing his hand around hers and not giving her the option to refuse the dance.

Jim navigated their way through the crowd and gave the DJ a thumbs up. So that's what he was doing…

Joe and Kat were dancing and so were some of his meaty fighter buddies with their dates and it seemed like that's where Jim and Lauren were headed. Joe pulled Kat in closer, opening up some room for the pair and he and Jim high fived. Lauren posed a question with her eyes, but Joe just avoided her gaze and turned his attention to his bride.

By the time all this squeezing and secret signaling was over and an acceptable spot on the dance floor was found, the song had reached its chorus and Jim finally gave Lauren his full attention, directing all his charm her way.

 _Love me, love me_

 _Say that you love me_

 _Fool me, fool me_

 _Go on and fool me_

 _Love me, love me_

 _Pretend that you love me_

 _Leave me, leave me_

 _Just say that you need me_

He mouthed the chorus, making cute exaggerated faces and this stuck out in no way as most other people were doing the exact same thing.

Oh, god, is _this_ our song? – Lauren joked as Jim pulled her close and swayed before the chorus came around again. After the words left her mouth, the first unsettling realization that so much lies ahead in terms of defining what their relationship is and where they stand now, she wished she could take the question back.

However, Jim was smarter or more relaxed about it, or whatever the case – he refused to let the situation get tense. – I suppose you would prefer some alternative, industrial, experimental poetry-read-over-the-sounds-of-consumerism-devouring-the-individual deal? – Jim asked as he bent his body assuming the character of a holier-than-thou douche, eliciting laughter from his date. – Well, tough luck. We can negotiate, but it's gotta be poppy and it's gonna be romantic, so help me.

Before more feelings could cluster and confound Lauren, the chorus came back around and everybody was singling out loud.

* * *

The cake was delicious and Lauren managed to score another piece which she shared with Jim. She had another glass of champagne, but Jim refused the one she offered him, knowing he would have to drive.

I'd love to, but I'll actually have to head back soon. I have an early lunch back at my folks' tomorrow. – He explained.

Oh, so do I need to get my stuff? – Lauren asked.

I mean, I'd love to take you back, but you can totally spend the night if you want, it's a great party. – Jim offered courteously, although he was dying to spend more time with Lauren.

She pondered for a moment, the thought of just going upstairs and crashing on a bed immediately was tempting, but Jim had gone out of his way to drive her and damn it, she wanted to spend time with him too, so she decided against it. – Nah, I'll go with you. You're my date, after all. – She added after a small pause.

Yes, I am. – Jim smiled back, beaming. It felt good, Lauren noted. She didn't swallow the words, she said them, though it cost her, but it felt good in the end. Hopefully, she would be able to continue to do this regularly.

* * *

It was getting late by any standard and some people had already left. There were horny fighters disappearing into rooms with drunk bridesmaids, even older couples tickled by the novelty, and people you thought were gone would just suddenly reemerge. Jim and Lauren went and got their stuff from the room and came back to the main table, where Joe and Kat were sitting, Kat lovingly stroking his bald head and whispering sweet things into his ear.

Hey, sorry to interrupt you guys. I just wanted to say goodnight and thank you for an absolutely magical evening. – Lauren said.

Once Kat offered them to spend the night, they explained the situation and after a short chat in which the newlyweds expressed sadness, but ultimately understanding and the newly-somethings expressed gratitude and joy for the opportunity to be part of the celebration, they hugged and said their goodnights.

* * *

The ride home went by relatively fast. Lauren made a concerted effort not to think about what anything meant or what to do. Although she dozed off a few times – what is more inviting to sleep than a calm night and lulling motion of the car when someone else is driving – they listened to music and talked about their impressions of the night. By the time they arrived, unloaded their stuff from the car and changed, Lauren was wide awake. She had turned on the TV for background noise and sat on the couch, one question nagging her and her unable to make it go away. What now? More specifically, where now? Where does she sleep? Would Jim invite her to his bed? Should she invite him to hers? Would he just naturally come over into her room?

Hey, Jim, wanna crash in my—No. Babe, you wanna – God, no. Honey? Hey, Halpert. Oh, Jesus, they're all terrible.

While she was trying to decide what to say and whether to say anything, Jim came out of the bathroom, teeth clean, gray shirt, checkered bottoms, hair still somewhat sleeked. Lauren turned to face him and grinned seeing him ready for bed.

Whacha watching? – He asked, taking a step closer.

It's some old movie, it looks good. – Lauren turned back to the TV.

Yeah? – Jim asked, leaning against the couch.

Yeah, I'm wide awake now. – She rolled her eyes. – I could barely keep my eyes open in the car, but now…

Me too. – He shook his head. – I guess we'll be bobble-heading tomorrow. – He resigned to little sleep this night. Lauren laughed and an idea came to her.

Hey, you… wanna camp out here tonight? – She offered, looking halfway between him and the TV, feeling suddenly on edge at the possibility of being turned down. Behind her back, Jim looked at her, her thumb and index finger nervously pulling at the fabric of the couch, her eyes not blinking. Like he was doing math in head, his eyes looked side to side, before he finally decided.

Yeah, awesome, I'll get my pillow and blanket. – He answered and Lauren jumped up as soon as he was in his room, doing the same.

They met again a few moments later, giddy and ready to fall asleep watching this old romantic comedy about a couple who, despite their best attempts to end up with other people, end up together.


	39. Pompeii

Hello, everyone! First, I'd like to thank you for waiting an still being interested in this little story  
Ashleigh, reviews like yours are what I live for!:) Thank you (and everyone else who reviewed and followed), I could go on and on – and I would love it – but I shall spare you. As always, I'd love to hear any impressions and ideas you might have, they have certainly encouraged and inspired me in the past.

Now, for the diehard Office fans, the timeline is about to get all kinds of jumbled up, I'm essentially picking the moments and storylines that work for the story as it unfolds. Just relax and roll with it the way you already have been doing :)

* * *

Pam's TH:

So I've returned. – Pam nodded, not yet used to being back and doing talking heads. - I'm not quite finished with the courses, I will have to send in some papers and projects over the next few months, but I did it. I'm very happy. – She raised her shoulders and gave a tight lipped smile, trying not to be boastful. – It's not all great, I kinda had to rush back cause making rent was getting more difficult and there were some… personal… matters. – She trailed off, feeling some foreboding about everything eventually becoming known, but she decided not to talk about right now.

Lauren's TH:

I have no feelings either way, really. Erin is struggling a little bit with all the characters in the office, I'm sure she'll appreciate Pam's help. I just don't know what's gonna happen to their jobs. I mean, we don't need two secretaries, do we? – Lauren shoved off the question as she really didn't know what to say, or indeed how she felt, and a talking head segment wasn't going to be the place where she worked this out.

Kelly's TH:

Oh my god, I am so ready. I got my popcorn, I got my innocent face down for when I make insinuations. – She stopped to demonstrate, mouthing 'Who, me?' and shaking her head. – I have my reaction shot faces for when Lauren knocks Pam out or when we catch Jim and Pam making out in the bathroom. - She demonstrated a few more reactions. – I can't wait!

Jim's TH:

Unbeknownst to the spectators, Kurt was operating the camera in Jim's TH. Jim gave him his signature look off camera and just sighed at whatever questions was asked.

Stanley's TH:

I'm just glad something else is going on so I can make my exit quietly. I got an offer from Utica to transfer there for more money. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a stack of crosswords to pack up.

* * *

The day was crawling along in an eerily calm fashion. Pam was in and out of Michael's office and spent her time between helping Erin and going through some paperwork. Word around the office, compliments of Kelly and Oscar, was that Michael was thinking of promoting Pam to his personal assistant. Lord knows why. He barely had enough to do around the office to fill up half a day. Additionally, the prospect of working in close quarters with Michael was enough to send anyone running for the hills; Lauren was surprised there was still no Pam-shaped hole in the wall.

Other than the rumors, there was also the issue of everyone's eyes following Pam and Lauren and occasionally Jim around above their monitors. Kevin had a betting pool going. When was Pompeii happening? Pompeii, in case it wasn't terribly obvious, was referring to Lauren's tempestuous reaction to Pam being back. The bets ranged from before the end of the day up to a month and a half from now.

Suddenly, Michael strode into the office, wearing his funeral face.

Hey, everyone. I just thought I should let you know that our friend Stanley Hudson is leaving us. Because he got an offer from Utica for more money. - He motioned to a smiling Stanley and was greeted with applause. A raise in a recession? Good job, Stanley. – No! No, no, no. No! You completely misinterpreted my tone. This is a horrible thing. – Michael protested. - Somebody is clearly trying to sabotage the Scranton branch. I think it's Jan getting back at me for the hit and run.

What? You hit Jan with your car? – Pam gasped.

No, no. I was referring to the nature of our sexual relationship. – Michael explained.

Groans of disgust filled the office, interspersed with the occasional comment the camera crew caught, like 'you're not black enough to say that', 'you were totally in love with Jan' or 'somebody erase my memory, please'.

To end Michael's futile repudiations, Jim gently offered it might just be because of Stanley's track record, which Michael immediately dismissed as ridiculous.

* * *

Lunch was finally nearing and Lauren was nervous, but eager to have some time with Hannah. She was shaken from her reverie when Dwight, Michael and Jim stormed out of the break room, got their coats and said a brisk goodbye to the office.

Where are you going? – Phyllis looked up from her screen.

We're going on a sales call! – Michael announced enthusiastically. – We're gonna crush it! You hear that, Stanley?

Mmmh-hmm. – Stanley drawled out contentedly, as he filled out some necessary paperwork for his transfer, his eyes never lazily looking up his glasses like Michael had hoped.

Lauren tried to surreptitiously glance at Jim, allowing him the opportunity she imagined he was looking for to say bye. Naturally, per her wishes, he wouldn't do it in front of the whole office, but she felt it was a kind thing to do – let him give her a quick wink and reassure him their relationship was on somewhat of a right track. It stung acutely when he made no effort to engage her at all. He tied his scarf around his neck, gathered his things and sped down the hallway without ever looking up. Well, good. Ever better, though Lauren, as she swallowed uncomfortably. Her desire for the people in the office to have no insight into her/their personal life was evident. And he sure did a good job of indulging her. Fucking excellent job.

* * *

When people started getting ready to leave for lunch, Lauren and Hannah caught each other's gazes and silently got ready and waited for the other at the door. They settled on where to go and had a quick, mostly silent walk to the diner, only briefly commenting on the windy weather and how hungry they are.

After they sat down and the waiter took their order, the air seemed to thicken. As they have been doing for a while, memories flooded Lauren. Of all the laughs they had and how rooms full of casual acquaintances looked on as they shared inside jokes and enthralled one another with their anecdotes and wit. How everybody seemed to long for a friendship like theirs. Maybe it was youthful arrogance or navel gazing, but it felt real and precious. The thought of not having that relationship in her life made Lauren's chest feel like it would burst.

I am so sorry. – Lauren dragged out, earnestly and sorrowfully. It was surprising that she had feared moments like these, being wrong and having to eat crow, but it felt fantastic to say. It felt so liberating and good to admit you messed up and you truly hated that you did it. She wanted to say it again and again, it felt like throwing off a heavy coat. – And I miss you so much. I can't even tell you how sorry…

Hannah got choked up and waved her hand in Lauren's face to stop, as words failed her.

Please, I want to say this and I want you to please believe me. I am as honest as I can possibly be when I say I love you an indefinite, forceful amount – Lauren continued and Hannah buried her face in her hands – and I can't believe I let myself hurt you as much as I did—hurt us as much as I did. You didn't deserve that and I have hated myself every day since I said it.

Hannah shook her head, not yet trusting her voice, and extended a hand towards her friend.

What kills me – Lauren puffed out, trying to keep tears in and stop her voice from cracking – is that it was exactly what I never wanted to do. What I always condemned. Being angry at the wrong person. How many times have I said that was bullshit? How many times did I give out that advice? And then I do it to you…- She squeezed her hand, no longer able to speak.

The waiter appeared with the food and was obviously taken aback by the sight of two young women crying and holding hands. He gingerly laid the food down and tried to stalk away as quietly as he could.

The pair burst into choked laughter that was coupled with some rogue tears still forming and hitched breathing. The tension bubble had burst and it felt euphoric.

After they regained some composure, it was Hannah's turn. – First of all, I know how hard it is to say those things. For anyone, but especially someone as proud as you. And as hard as it was, I gotta admit, it felt good that you would that for me. And I've been thinking a lot. Obviously, to secretly move out and let a former boyfriend occupy your friend's living space is pretty insane. But stupidly, I thought you're both crazy, we all are, you're clearly still—I mean, it looks like you have feelings… - Hannah decided not to make anymore suppositions about the pair, it had cost her a lot in the past. – Anyway. I was banking on that you would just immediately forgive me and see the perverse humor in the situation. But after what you said, it really dawned on me how inappropriate it all really was and I couldn't not agree with you. I deserved your being angry with me. – Lauren was about to speak, but Hannah pressed on. – No, listen, this has been resolved in my head for a while, it was just a matter of time when we would repair our relationship. But the point—what I learned was, I think, in a way it is inevitable. I think we all have to end up doing the thing we most hate, most detest. Maybe we detest it exactly because we are so close to behaving exactly like it.

They shared a long look and Lauren thought about Hannah's conclusion. It seemed pretty dead on. Everything she always claimed to hate, she eventually did. Date a close friend. Let a guy make her feel inadequate. Eat way too much pastry. Rely too heavily on appearances to make herself feel confident. Give up on dreams. Misdirect her anger. All the fucking time.

So what... what do you do? What do I do about it? – Lauren asked finally.

Hannah shrugged good-naturedly. – I don't know. I think most of us have trouble forgiving ourselves. Start learning how to do that. I've recently started doing something that is either the best or the most selfish thing ever and it's simply asking myself whether I'm happy. Is what I'm doing making me feel good? If it is, and it's within reason, I press on. I know it sound so dumb and self-evident—

No, no. – Lauren cut in. - I mean, it's really simple, or it seems simple. But it's profound. You gotta let a lot of things go. A lot of things that keep you from just pursuing happiness. Pride. – She motioned to herself and they laughed. – Ambition. – She motioned to Hannah and she nodded wistfully. – Other people's opinions. It's so hard, actually.

As they ate, they got caught up on each other's lives and families and plans. On the way back, they walked close and arm in arm. The conversation had veered off into emotional territory again, pondering about why certain things happen and what the future would be like. As she was replying to some question, Lauren noted that Hannah walked unusually straight and moved her arm very little. She walked politely. And considerately. To a degree that close friends don't. Close friends step on your foot and smack you for getting in their way. After the initial elation came some trepidation, it seems. Like taking off a cast. You're thrilled and you can't wait till you're running again, but still you start slow. You test it out, you relearn everything. It felt reassuring and soon enough, the relationship will be galloping away, but at the moment, they were taking the first delicate, careful steps again.

* * *

Back at the office, the cameras panned across the room, showing Oscar rubbing his eyes, Creed looking at something in his hands and then stashing it away shiftily and finally at Pam, leaning against Andy's desk. A part of their conversation was recorded.

Hmm, well, it sounds better for you than being his PA, right? – Andy conspired. – But still, Pam, it's not easy.

I know, but why not try? With Ryan and now Stanley both gone, we must be at least one salesman short? – She insisted, but, catching sight of the cameras, leaned away from Andy and stared at the lens, half shy, half determined.

* * *

Soon, the three amigos returned, looking all shades of dejected and disappointed.

Didn't score, huh? – Andy gloated as Dwight took his seat. – Like, I always tell you, shoulda brought the Nard dog. The Nard dog always gets his man. And his woman. – He winked at Angela, who glared back.

There was no man, you fool. – Dwight hissed through his gritted teeth. – We were gonna go and intimidate the Utica branch and poach some of their people as revenge. There was no sale! – He explained with contempt.

Andy stared back. – Well, then there was literally a man. Dwight. – He condescended. – Shoulda brought the Nard dog. – Andy threw out as he walked away.

I can't believe I lost the whole day on this. – Jim stared ahead, not talking to anyone in particular.

Well, we tried. – Michael mistakenly consoled Jim, who rolled his eyes and quietly explained he really missed his point. - And we failed. – Michael continued dramatically. - Stanley, you may go. Here is a box for your things. – He proceeded to ceremoniously take the post out of one plastic box and place it upon Stanley's already cleared desk. - But I doubt that box will be able to contain all the memories you have of this place.

Stanley interrupted monotonely. – I'm good. I'm all packed, Michael.

Reading his lack of emotion as stoicism, Michael squeezed the man's shoulder. - Fly away, sweet little bird. I'm gonna need some help writing a wanted ad. – Michael rubbed his temples. Erin grabbed a pad and started for his door. - No, not you , Erin. I need a familiar face right now. Talking to you would feel like getting a prostate examination from a construction worker rather than my gentle, trusted doctor. Pam. – He opened the door and invited Pam in.

I'll just go get my gloves. – Pam muttered as she stood up reluctantly. The comment made Hannah snigger.

* * *

Making her way into the break room to grab a snack, Lauren pondered whether or not to make a stop at Jim's desk. A quick scan of the room determined most people were busy. Upon further reflection, she really didn't care. Taking a step back from just her own feelings, she understood this was a rough day for Jim. Pam was back and whatever his feelings about her – a topic she still couldn't bring herself to discuss or think of very much – it must be confusing and difficult. And then, instead of working or having some time to process, the two biggest maniacs take him on a cockamany mission that, in a sane world governed by rules, could get them fired. Her tiny gesture of affection was frankly nothing compared to that.

She ruffled his hair affectionately as she passed by and he craned his neck to look up at her, having not noticed someone was behind him. They looked at each other for just a quick, tender moment as she stroked the back of his neck in support and then she decided it was long enough; she didn't five cameras descending on them and recording.

What the cameras did catch in plain view was his absent-minded smile, lingering after she'd gone.

* * *

In his office, Michael was on the floor, holding the bridge of his nose like he was trying to stop a nose bleed. - Wanted: middle aged back man with sass. – He breathed out, inconsolable. - Big butt. Bigger heart.

Pam, not writing anything down, decided to stop him. – Listen, Michael, I think I might have a solution.

* * *

A meeting of the Party Planning Committee was scheduled for tomorrow, to throw a goodbye party for Stanley. Hannah pointed out that Pam was a member, but Angela objected, reminding the group that she had basically defected when she left for New York. Instead of arguing, Phyllis suggested to also make it a welcome back party for Pam. A secret vote, wherein only one person disagreed, ahemAngelaahem, decided it would be so.

* * *

Jim and Lauren had their office leaving routine pat by now. Every morning, they made sure they hung their coats far enough apart not to have to communicate when they were leaving. They would alternate who left first, strategically dilly dallying or chatting to people. Their car and bike were naturally parked on opposite ends of the parking lot and Lauren would sometimes even take a longer, winding route back home. The things she did out of fear and pride…

Today, she was back home first. Turns out Jim had stopped to get some takeout. By his walk, it was obvious to Lauren he was tired and drained by the awful day. She was, however, pleased at the sight of food.

Hey, there. – She made an effort to be cheerful, hoping to improve his mood. – You brought something. – She jumped to her feet and took the bags off him.

Yeah. – He sighed as dropped his bag and wiggled out of his coat.

I was gonna wait for you before cooking dinner and totally let you choose what you were in the mood for. – Lauren informed him as he made his way into his bedroom to change.

Aww, that's awesome. – He said with less enthusiasm than usual when she made such sweet, domestic claims. His voice came muffled and strained as he pulled off his clothes and hopped on one foot, putting on his 'loose jeans', as he referred to them, and a comfy shirt. – But I gotta eat and go back out quickly. – He explained as he came back into the room and took a seat in the kitchen.

Yeah? – Lauren prompted as she set down some plates and spoons.

Yeah, I scheduled a meeting with a landlord, I'm seeing an apartment tonight. – He said as he dug a spoon deep into the food and carefully navigated the heaving food into his mouth. Lauren felt frozen. – Heesh travering outta tow Wesday. – He was barely intelligible, mouth full of still hot food. – Sho if like the plashe – he swallowed the half chewed food – I could move in by the end of the week. We'll see. – He concluded, purposely ignoring Lauren's hard stare as he shoveled more food in his face.

What are you talking about? – Lauren asked as if he'd suddenly grown a second head.

I know the past few weeks were tough on you and I'm sure you want your peace, so I'm just doing what you wanted me to do. – He explained, still not looking at her, but his tone and facial expression hardly concealed his awareness that he was majorly fucking with her head.

Lauren had about fifty questions to ask, but decided to sit on them for a second and process. She forced a spoonful of food into her mouth, so she could chew and take a moment, even though her stomach felt cold and queasy and the idea of eating repulsed her. Okay, so this shithead was gonna play the Mr. Literal part. She said to move out. He said alright. Meanwhile, he's all kinds of charming and wonderful while he's staying here, culminating in taking her to her friend's wedding and charming the literal panties off her. But since she didn't address their status, he's still purportedly moving on with their initial agreement. There it is again. The pride. Wanna leave? Fuck you, leave then! I'll pack you goddamn suitcase for you! If it didn't mean anything, if you can just coolly walk away, awesome, go to Hell!

No, wait. Her inside voice was screaming, but the lump in her throat made it shut up. It wasn't pride. Like his innocent evasive look, the pride and rejection were just a façade. What was really happening was that she was hurt. Sure, her rational brain was telling her he was just bluffing and trying to provoke her a little, but it still stung. The idea that they weren't on the same page - even if she didn't feel secure and strong enough at the moment to proclaim it – it was so bitter and sad, it triggered every defense mechanism she had.

She must have been quiet for a while, since Jim dropped his innocent look and held his eyes on her face, scrutinizing her as her head swam out of the mist.

Is everything okay? – He asked knowingly, but still with some concern.

Lauren collected her thoughts as she made herself swallow the over-chewed, soggy, tasteless mess in her mouth. – I am at a fork in the road, Halpert. – She smiled sadly. – You know I can easily play along and let you go. Stand outside the door and wave goodbye and then focus very hard on hating you for as long as it took to recover. – She informed him honestly and he nodded back, running his tongue over his teeth and making a dissatisfied grimace. – Or. I can ask you very sincerely -what are you trying to achieve? What do you really want, do you want to go? – Her voice got quieter as she went on before finally going out.

I think you know very well what I really want. – Jim answered, grabbing a napkin and cleaning his hands, with very little compassion in his voice. Still, he didn't sound cruel. Just matter-of-fact. – And I have no trouble saying it. I know, however, you would have trouble hearing it, so I'm keeping it to myself right now. Because, here's the thing, Webber. – He got up and, placing his long arms on either end of the small kitchen table, towered over the sitting woman. – This time. You're gonna have to come to me. I don't know when you'll be ready. And frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. – He quoted Gone with the Wind and, even though his determination made her feel equal parts intimidated and turned on, she still made a mental note of having to make fun of him for this line down the road. – As far as the world is concerned, we are moving on. You asked for this. So I'll do what we agreed. I'll give you the space and the time you wanted. And if you're okay with me moving out and moving on, that's what I'll do. But if not… You just gotta say the word. – He held her gaze confidently and made sure she knew he was serious. Then, as easily as it came, the intimidating energy was gone and he bared his teeth in a smile. – I gotta go now, don't wanna keep my potential landlord waiting. – He shrugged and gave Lauren a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing his coat and dashing out of the room.

After he was gone, Lauren sat in place for a long time. She didn't know which way was up anymore. Of all the thoughts that swarmed in her head – from anger and the absurdity of it all, the guilt and fear, the longing and desire to feel protected – she couldn't shake off the mental image of grabbing him by the lapel, slamming the door shut and holding onto him so tight that her nails dug into her palms and her muscles spasmed.


	40. The Ring, Part 1

The following week at work vindicated all those who ever opposed the naysayers who have been claiming that the documentary would never amount to anything. So many bizzare things snowballed in the span of a few days that nobody could really keep up.

Everything was in place for Stanley's goodbye party. Even though work was piling up and, courtesy of the recession, funds were being pulled from everywhere and every expense had to be worth its weight in gold, Michael still decided to go all out.

He gave a solemn speech, but still tried to put on a brave face. Stanley just stood there and took it impassively.

And, before we pour one out for our homie, I have another announcement. Our very own Pam, a strong contestant for hottest chick in office, with Meredith pulling up the rear, is going to be taking over for Stanley as junior salesman. So let's give her a big hand. – Michael stepped aside and allowed the attention to be turned to Pam, who remained calm and smiled. Lauren noted that there was less mousy, shoulder-hiking, insecure behavior emanating from her and it was a welcome change.

Michael, I need to talk to you. – Stanley announced.

* * *

Stanley's TH:

I wanted to talk to him in private to avoid a scene. That did not pan out.

The cameras showed snippets of footage caught through the blinders of Michael's office of him tearing up and jumping onto Stanley again as he wailed with glee.

I'm not going anywhere. – Stanley continued. – I was just angling for a raise here. I would rather put up with all the familiar nonsense here then commute and get used to new nonsense. Besides, there's more of a chance to sue someone for harassment here and win.

* * *

Michael came out of his office jubilantly and ran around, tearing up the banners that signaled Stanley's departure.

Nevermind, everybody, Stanley's love for us prevailed! Our fluffy pillowy brownie man isn't going anywhere! – He ran into a frozen Pam. – Get outta the way, Pam, go answer some phones, spread the good news about Stanley!

But Michael... – Pam spun on her heels as Michael breezed by her. – What about the junior sales—

We don't need any more salesmen, Pam, we have Stanley. Oh, Stanley. – Michael tried to hug him again as he made his way out of the confessional, but he just walked past him sluggishly and sat back at his desk. – Look at him. He's on fire. – He turned his attention back to Pam. – You can be our secretary again.

But we have Erin. – Pam motioned to the slim redhead who was all shiny teeth and good attitude.

Oh, right. Then you can be a temp, you can be a PA, we can figure it out - god, just don't ruin the moment, it's so selfish. – Michael concluded.

Michael… - Pam was resolute. As resolute as one can be when their voice carries as far as their arms can reach.

Michael was exasperated that his big moment with Stanley was being withheld from him. - No offense, Pam, but if nothing rubbed off on you in the way of persuavieness from your 'association' with Danny Cordray, then there is no hope for you. Stanley, you're back! – Michael flew into Stanley's decidedly un-outsctreched arms and flung his arms around his girthy belly. Once the hug was sufficiently long and unresponsive, he finally released him. – It's a welcome-back-Stanley-party! – He announced and ran for the door.

I actually have an announcement too. – Toby addressed the office.

Oh, my god, give me strength. – Michael said what was supposed to be a quiet plea rather loudly. – You just have to hijack every bit of happiness in this world, don't you?

Toby gave him his signature wounded and exasperated look and then continued. – Well, it's sort of time-sensitive, so it has to be now.

Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say I hope it's regarding a failed organ transplant. – Michael bit his lip expectantly.

Toby wore his usual miserable look and, after a beat, braved the conversation again. – I'm actually moving to Costa Rica. I'm leaving. – He explained after Michael just stared at him.

Oh, my god. – Michael finally breathed out after a long silence. His hands covered his mouth as his eyes filled with tears. – Fly away forever, my sweet little bird. – He whispered in Toby's ear as he embraced him.

* * *

It only got weirder from there.

Toby half-assedly made a move on Pam before departing.

The two parties happened and it was evident there would have be plenty of staying in late come crunch time.

Corporate was organizing for a new HR manager to come to Scranton.

And oh yeah, Michael hit Meredith with his car.

* * *

Meredith didn't want to stay in the hospital long after she got her cast and they didn't try to keep her there all that hard. Lauren deduced there wouldn't be anyone to take care of her at home, so she said in no uncertain terms and with a 'not taking no for an answer' attitude that she would stay with Meredith for a few days till she could move a bit more.

* * *

One week later

Lauren had cleared some of the debris in the living room and Meredith had made her nest in there. There would occasionally be signs of someone having been in there during the night, like shoes on the floor and clothes in the hamper and food missing. Meredith had informed Lauren it was her son.

Meredith had gotten used to the cast and there had been quite a few visitors. A few of Dunder-Mifflin local suppliers had dropped by. At first, Lauren had thought it was a nice gesture and professional courtesy. It turned out most of their interest was personal.

After she escorted one of the men out, Lauren brought in some food and sat next to Meredith, who was wriggling and trying to scratch an itch inside her cast with a hanger. Lauren sat for a second and pondered if she should ask what was on her mind. After all, the pair had become considerably closer in this week.

Lauren had found a photo of Meredith's daughter, who she had not even known existed. Turns out, Lauren reminded Meredith of Wendy – the girl – and that's why she was warm to her. If that word applied.

Meredith seemed to always have a good time. There was always booze in the house and a well stocked fridge. She did what she wanted, when she wanted, with who she wanted. Even after her pelvis was shattered, the woman did not complain. So yeah, why not ask and get another perspective?

Meredith, were you ever in love? - She dove in with no preamble.

I guess. – Meredith answered, hardly paying attention.

Then why did you get divorced? - Lauren asked point blank.

Not fazed at all, Meredith settled and thought on it for a minute. – Just wasn't working. – She shrugged.

How come? – Lauren pressed on, intrigued by her ability not to get flustered over these things.

I suppose I kept wanting him to change. – Meredith answered sagely.

He didn't wanna settle down?

No, I didn't. He was this serious, white-collar guy who wanted to have a family and to work non-stop. Why did all the fun have to stop once we got married? – Meredith protested.

Lauren had to chuckle. Yeah, she couldn't really see her with a guy like that.

So, how do you know if something's gonna work out before you go all in? – Lauren asked.

Well, date the guy for more than four months. And don't get pregnant month two. – Meredith advised. – Other than that, you don't know. It took me two marriages to realize I'm not the marrying type. And now it's great. Sure, my kids call some garbage collector mom and I got rabies, but I did that. I know how I got from A to B. And I get to choose what happens next.

Everything Meredith was saying was making an alarming amount of sense. Even though she seemed to enjoy living her life, it wasn't a life Lauren wanted for herself. This was what she was worried about. She had trouble sharing her life and making herself open to risks and pain. But the alternative was a shattered pelvis and rabies, apparently.

I guess it took a week from a parallel universe to help clear her head a little.

Hey, listen, I wanna thank you for everything you did. – Meredith said, getting up with some effort.

Aww, it's no problem. It was my pleasure. – Lauren smiled.

Here, Jake got this from some lady that I think he was dating. – She pushed a ring in front of Lauren's face.

What? God, Meredith, no. I mean, I couldn't. It's… It's too much, I was just keeping you company for a while. Besides, that belongs to you son. – She reminded.

Nah, I think it kinda ended sour, he doesn't want it. And I'm not the jewelry type. Hey, maybe that's why all those marriages didn't work out. – She laughed, nudging Lauren with her elbow.

Lauren returned the laugh perfunctorily. – But really, I can't accept that, it's way too much. - Plus, would she be an accomplice in some jewel heist if she took it? Jake was only a teenager, so what in the hell would he have to do with a lady old and rich enough to have that ring? And what could have happened for that ring to end up here?

Well, honestly, if it stays here, it'll just get lost in the clutter. Besides… - Meredith sat back down, suddenly looking quite blue. – It would be a waste. If I was in contact with Wendy, I might give it to her. I would really like if someone had it and wore it. It's too sad for it to go to waste.

Huh… - Lauren felt for Meredith. Without thinking too much (overthinking always got in her way, she noted), she answered. – Well, I guess there's no harm in me _keeping_ it. Just for now. – She added swiftly. – If Jake ever wants it back or if you do, you know, maybe if things with Wendy… Then I will give it back to you immediately. And it doesn't get lost in the meantime. – She bargained.

Alright. – Meredith smiled her crooked smile, placed the ring in Lauren's hand and grabbed some food. _The Hills_ was on and though she would never admit it, Lauren was now hooked and loved to hate the people on it.

* * *

On her drive back home, Lauren was phyching herself up to talk to Jim. And ask him to… not leave. And then see what he wanted. Cause fuck her if she knew what she wanted.

Obviously, she didn't want him to leave. Or at least not in a way that meant there would be no future for their relationship. Hannah was thrilled to be living with Danny and they loved how it was going. And having Jim as a roommate was great. No setting up dates, no stress – they were gonna be in the same place anyway. And she could observe him and remind herself of all the great things about him. Not just the lies and half-truths and embarrassment and distrust she felt. And he was, what, hell bent on ruining the little progress they had made?

She was ready to play ball. Ask him to stay, try not to put too much pressure on the burgeoning maybe relationship, meet him half way – alright, maybe one third of the way – and see how he wanted to move forward.

When she got there, it was clear he had moved out a few days ago.

* * *

Tomorrow, at the office, Lauren was still in shock. Thankfully, her tactic of asking Jim not to let slide anything at work was paying dividends in the face of this newest… humiliation? Slap in the face? Justified action? Provocation? Whatever. They had continued to keep their professional, nonchalant distance at the office; coats on diametrically opposed ends of the hangers, friendly, vacuous, _group_ conversations. She was way behind on work and she made her way briskly to her desk, with a friendly 'good morning' to the whole room.

The few sympathetic/expectant glances she received from Hannah let her know she also knew what had happened. Phew, she thought, half sarcastically and half perfectly honestly, thank god their relationship was on the mend or she might go crazy.

During lunch, Jim was on a long-distance call, so it was safe to go anywhere and sit down to eat. Soon, people gathered round to hear how Meredith was doing.

Oh, she is getting better, for sure. She'll even be back at work on Monday. If she didn't have that cast on, you wouldn't guess anything had even happened to her. – Lauren set everyone's mind at ease.

Hannah, Angela, Kelly and Pam remained at the table with Lauren. Most of them were commiserating about the workload, but Kelly was trying to get Angela to cast her eyes on Lauren's hand.

Hey, you have some… something. On your cheek. – Kelly announced to Lauren.

Oh? – She muffled, chewing. She rubbed her face and before she could ask if she got it, an exasperated Kelly shook her head.

Other cheek! – She leaned closer, fixating her eyes on Angela.

Using the same hand, Lauren reached for the other side of her face.

Other hand! – Kelly commanded and without thinking, Lauren lifted her other hand and rubbed where she thought food might have gotten.

Kelly and Angela gasped and Hannah's and Pam's eyes widened.

What is that?! – Kelly grabbed her hand.

Oh. – Lauren rolled her eyes and motioned with her free hand that she would reply as soon as she swallowed.

O-M-G, I am getting a glass of water because this is fully insane. DON'T start the story before I come back! – Kelly ordered as she got up.

Lauren shook her head, knowing she would be super disappointed when she heard the actual story.

Hannah repositioned herself more comfortably on her chair, knowing whatever ensued would be entertaining. Lauren caught that and rolled her eyes at her good-naturedly.

Pam had regained some composure as well. It had to happen eventually, she thought to herself. If anyone had a heads up about it, it was her. It made sense even. Jim and Lauren break up their apparently passionate relationship, Jim moves away, they try to move on, he comes back and can't stand to be without her and proposes. Of course. Like she said, it had to happen eventually. Her stomach lurched. – Before Kelly gets back and showers you with questions, I guess congratulations are in order. – Pam smiled as genuinely as she could.

Lauren gave an actual, sincere smile at this ridiculous bit of confusion and was about to let her face drop and explain when Pam added. – You must be thrilled and I know Jim has been sitting on that ring for a _while. –_ Pam said emphatically. The more she thought and spoke about it, the more it felt like a weight was lifting off of her. – It must be liberating for him to finally have you wearing it.

It did not escape Lauren that as soon as Pam started speaking, Hannah almost lost balance in her chair and gripped the table like there was about to be an earthquake. Pam also stopped speaking once the shift in atmosphere hit her.

I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I guess I shouldn't pry. – She sank back into her seat, looking embarrassed and sorry. She rarely made attempts to have a normal friendly relationship with Lauren and every one of those times, it seemed to backfire. – I only stumbled upon it by accident, - she motioned to the ring – please don't think there was anything weird happening…

I'm sorry, what are you talking about? – Lauren asked, her entire insides suddenly shaking. – And what's up with you, do you know what she's talking about? – She turned to Hannah and back to Pam, twice.

Alright, so dish! How did he propose? – Kelly set her glass down, brandishing a cocktail umbrella and some neon straws leftover from the recent, entirely unnecessary parties.

Hold on to your hat. – Angela remarked at Kelly and crossed her arms in morbid satisfaction.


	41. The Ring, Part 2

It took no small effort on Lauren's part not to go off on everybody; from Hannah, Jim, Pam to those smug little gossipy hags, Kelly and Angela.

 _Breathe, Lauren, for the love of god. If you make an idiot of yourself again, I will make you do burpees till you throw up. Aaand breathe… and talk._

Lauren explained she was temporarily keeping an eye on it for Meredith and excused herself so she could hyperventilate in the bathroom for a while.

* * *

Lunch was over and Jim was still finishing up on some numbers. He was about to head into the break room and stretch and grab a bite when he saw a new e-mail. It was from Pam. Not thinking too much of it, not like she didn't regularly e-mail everyone, he opened it.

 _Jim,_

 _We need to talk, I think I might have put my foot in it._

Instantly, he feel like there was an icy sheet across the middle of his stomach. Somehow, there was no doubt in his mind this was concerning the two women that gave him the biggest headaches in his life. _What now_ , a tired, down-trodden voice whined in his head. _Why can't things just go smoothly for once_.

* * *

She was wearing a ring, Jim. What was I supposed to think? – Pam stood in the middle of the break room, arms crossed, as Jim paced around, fingers knitted in his hair. Word flew around the office fast and, regardless, Pam would have bitten the bullet and talked to him anyway. She felt like she had really screwed up, although she had no idea what was happening any more. The tension was clear between Lauren and Jim, just as it always was, so there was something definitely there. And yet, she seemed utterly shocked at the idea of being engaged to Jim. _Whatever, stop it, Pam, it's not your business_ , she thought.

That she _has_ a ring? – Jim offered, throwing his arms up into the air helplessly. Anything but _hey, congratulations on agreeing to marry the guy who I dated recently and who you refuse to admit you still want to be with, who moved out of your house last week, after invading it against your will some time previously, thinking both of those would be good ways to get you to let him into your life again because you are wearing a ring and no human woman wears jewelry unless she is betrothed?!_

Isn't that why you broke up with me? So you could be with her? – Pam asked, a little more accusation in her voice than she intended. - And, as a natural progression of the relationship, propose? – She added, trying to dampen the resentment.

Shit. The only (selfish) upside of dumping girls the way he mostly did was that it was so uncomfortable to ever face each other again and then he never had to explain himself much. Oh Jesus, was he really that bad of a guy?

I'm not… - she shook her head, not really sure what this conversation even was. -…asking for any explanation or reason. And I'm not trying to call you out or anything. – She tried to steer the conversation away from any potential examination of why and how they broke things off. - I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I just assumed you two would be back on track by now, that she would have loved to have you back. I know I did. – She gave a strangled laugh, thinking back to the beginning of their time together and how lucky she felt that finally, _finally_ there was a good guy available to her who was only ever sweet and caring. Or so she thought at the time. – I just hope I didn't spoil anything, I really don't want to be involved with any drama at work, I think we've all had enough. - Pam finished and, head bowed, made for the door.

If it means anything, I would've… - Jim huffed, feeling arrogant for even giving himself so much importance as to say what he was about to say. – I would have given you a heads up about any significant change. I'm not that insensitive or oblivious, it's _literally_ the least I could do.

Yeah, it kind of is. – Pam agreed, jokingly. – But honestly, I do hope it works out for the best, I would hate to be the reason for any more trouble between you two.

I dunno, _who_ knows, you might have done exactly the right thing. We're in a very interesting, very strange place now. – Jim explained and immediately felt stupid for confiding something like that to an ex.

Yeah? – Pam prompted, looking friendly and supportive. Jim recognized that look from having painted it onto his face for years when she would talk about her and Roy. But he did just say he would keep her updated to at least spare her any further embarrassment, so he might as well fill her in.

To be honest, I don't know what we're doing and if it's even leading anywhere. But I am determined to fight for it. I've learned in the last couple of years that that's all there is to it; you just have to make it clear what you want and do what you can to get it. So that's why I'm thinking it's probably okay for her to know where I stand. – Jim said, with nothing held back or dressed up. He needed to hear himself say it. And Pam was another one of a few people who needed to hear it – which left Lauren and their families, if she says yes. His breath hitched at the mental image of that scene.

* * *

The first thing Lauren did was move the ring to her index finger and bury the hand in her hair as she sifted through endless papers. Jim sat at his desk, composing an e-mail to her that was short, but not curt or wussy. Finally, he decided, since everyone already knew or would find out pretty quickly, he might as well man up and stop following Lauren's wishes that only prevented them from communicating or getting along.

With a steadying breath and a suspicion most everyone was watching him out of the corner of their eye, he picked up a folder for Hannah in the annex and one for Lauren.

Jim, you should really hurry up and propose before Lauren makes it official with Meredith. – Kelly said casually, looking at her computer screen once he entered.

Thanks, Kelly, I'll keep it in mind. – He retorted, shooting an annoyed look at the camera, choosing not to quip that she should hurry up and lose 5lbs before Ryan comes to visit.

Hannah gave him an understanding look and squeezed his arm in support as he made to leave. Whenever Hannah was on his side or encouraging him, it felt like a huge leg up. She and Joe were the closest ones to being able to get Lauren and coexist with her peacefully. He was getting more and more confident that he would get on that level and surpass those two – especially beefy Joe. This week was an outlier though, but he hoped that as soon as that night, he would get some answers. He had been confident that his mix of listening to her and letting her protect herself when it was necessary and pushing her or putting his foot down when it got too much was working and would continue to work well. Or, after today, she would just break his neck and he'll be out of his misery. Both of those worked.

* * *

Hey, could we talk in private? – He put an arm around Lauren's chair and stooped, so she would be (among) the only one(s) to hear him. She looked up at him and, damn it, her face was inscrutable. Not cheery or friendly exactly, but unburdened in a way that almost looked like she didn't know what he meant. Not allowing anything to throw him, he continued. – We both probably need to say some things.

Sure, I'll meet you in the break room in ten. – Lauren responded neutrally and thanked him for the files he brought over.

* * *

When Lauren entered, Jim was already inside, stress eating some junk food from the vending machine. He had considered lowering the blinds, but thought that, ultimately, that would add unnecessary mystery and everyone already knew everybody's – especially their – business.

Lauren came in and closed the door behind her gingerly, kinda apologetic for not letting in the camera crew.

I don't know what this is regarding, Jim… - She started, her eyebrows knitted together comically in exaggerated confusion. For a split second, reading that face as pained, Jim lurched forward and was going to sensitively broach the subject of a certain _ring_ , but then a laugh burst forth from both of them. – No, but seriously, fine, we can clear things up, but not here. – Lauren explained, with unexpected patience and soft understanding.

No, of course, that's what I wanted. I just wanted to ask if I can come over tonight - or some other time that works for you, you know how I hate to intrude. – Jim shrugged and they both couldn't help snorting again, the image of him cheekily lounging on her couch with his mountain of luggage blocking the hallway as he one-sidedly decided to move in with her flashed in front of her eyes.

Oh, for sure. But you know me, it's not like I'd ever overreact to an intrusion, I'm incredibly poised and self-actualized. – Lauren laughed at herself, inviting Jim to join, but he just gave her a warm smile, sort of agreeing with what she had said. He thought for a second how differently they might have acted if they had moved to New York immediately and if they wouldn't already be happily engaged, planning what cousins _not_ not to invite and searching for an alternative, non-misogynistic service that one of Joe's weird enormous buddies would officiate.

After an exchange of meaningful looks, Lauren offered. – You can come over after work. I'm definitely not doing anything more important. – She rolled her eyes nonchalantly.

Good, I'll see you later, then. – Jim responded, wishing they were home already and sorting this mess out.

They both shrugged and started slowly making their way towards the door, knowing they should get back to work. Jim opened the door for her and followed her closely as they made their way back to their desks.

* * *

About an hour after she got home, there was a knock on Lauren's door. She had heard Jim's car pull in and just told him to come on it, the door was unlocked.

I could've been an axe murderer, you really need to start using this peephole. – Jim remarked as he made his way in.

Well, you'd be an outstandingly considerate axe murderer, knocking first. Besides, it felt weird letting you in as if you didn't live—used to live here. – Lauren explained.

Mmh. – Jim leaned against the wall wistfully. – Remember when I moved in on the sneak tip? Memories.

Remember when I burned your passport in retribution? – Lauren grinned at him.

Jim got serious and examined her face. He smiled, waiting for her to say she was kidding. Then he got serious again. – Really? Or haha, I burned your passport, you know how people say that?

Yeah, that ol'chestnut. – Lauren rolled her eyes. – I thought you knew.

Jim was thrown – damn it, he was so resolute a few hours ago not to let this happen – because he was expecting a whole different atmosphere and conversation to take place. Now he had no idea what was going on.

Oh, god, Jim, for a prank master, you really don't take well to being messed with yourself. I just hid it, it's in my underwear drawer. – Lauren finally explained so he would relax.

Good. Also, that's not so much a prank as a felony, I think. And I really don't know anything for sure when it comes to you. – Jim said earnestly and sat on the armrest of a chair.

True, I don't have the best track record when it comes to 'pranking' you. – She made airquotes and rubbed her forehead. Jesus, why even go down that path and bring up that humiliation?

Jim nodded, his lips a tight line. – It's about finding that line, you'll get there.

Lauren folded a leg under her as she sat down, heaving a deep breath. They locked eyes and shared an awkward smile. Still, it was so much more calm and amicable than Jim was expecting.

It was a lot more calm than Lauren was expecting too. One thing that was amazing was that she could take that 'count to ten' advice and it really, truly worked. And she wanted to do it because she decided not to get side-tracked anymore. This could have easily just been another fight about how everyone knows their business and it was somehow Jim's fault – doesn't matter if that's true or not – or how Pam knew way too much about them or how he seemed to be playing some perverse game just as she was starting to count on him again. But no. She had decided to give him, and herself, a chance. So count to ten and see it that will work. Either way, the rest of the clusterfuck will unravel – whether she makes a spectacle of herself or punishes Jim or another loved one, things will work out. The difference is whether she will hate herself afterwards or make a choice to be a grown up.

So the newest development in this story… - Lauren motioned jokingly between them. - … is that people now think we might be engaged. – She shook her head dismissively at the idea. _Ouch_ , Jim thought, _okay_. – And we can dispel that rumor pretty easily, I think. But there are other things, not completely unrelated, it seems to me, that we should probably discuss.

Yeah. – Jim bit the inside of his cheek. He breathed in deeply and decided to just come out with it. – So Pam told me she kinda blurted out some things about an engagement ring to you and, just to set the record straight, she found it by accident and it was absolutely not for her and nobody was supposed to know and, if it means anything, she's really mortified about it.

Lauren was nodding automatically, feeling nervous and giddy and fearful of hurting Jim's feelings with her reaction. She supposed it was an important day for any man to go engagement ring shopping and, while she had zero desire to be getting married in the foreseeable future, she would hate to lay that kind of rejection on him. Especially when he wasn't even proposing. – So you did get a ring for m—while we were together? – She corrected.

Well, I'm a romantic. Or an idiot that sometimes gets ahead of himself. Depending on how look at it. But yeah. – He suddenly felt shy and tongue-tied. He never thought he would be having a conversation about that ring with Lauren outside of a yes or no situation. – I was… getting there. In my head. And my heart. And I got a ring. – He squeezed out.

Lauren's hands felt cold and shaky. Again, the overwhelming feeling of not being ready for this level of honesty and vulnerability washed over her and she had to get out what she needed to say. - I don't think we can continue our relationship, as friends or colleagues or anything, without first clearing something fundamental up. – Lauren said in a warning tone. Jim did not move, but he was clearly attentive. – Why I am here in the first place.

Jim nodded. Yeah, the last time they were ever discussing the _real_ issues between them, that subject was not brought up. Again, he thought he had gotten off easy, but no. It was fair, he supposed, to be taking about it and hearing her side - he was very much aware that he handled everything wrong around that time.

I could have gone in a different direction. I might have been working in a different company or in some completely different field. I might have been that girl in the boxing ring that announces which round it is. Whatever. I came to Scranton because – she tried moistening her suddenly dry mouth – of you. It was also easy to just pick up my old job in a different place, there were no leaps there. Staying in a professional comfort zone was also a factor. But I would not have uprooted my whole life solely based on that. I thought I was starting something great and meaningful with an awesome, funny, dorky guy who _wanted_ me there.

Feeling like the monologue she no doubt rehearsed countless times in her head wasn't over, he gave her another serious, understanding nod, making sure not to have any puppy dog eyes or wounded facial expressions as he did. Those would get him choked out.

There was a familiar teary warmth rising in Lauren's chest and behind her eyes. This might the toughest, scariest thing she would make herself say. – And you let me do that. I won't say you pushed me or insisted because, in hindsight, you didn't. But you _allowed_ me to think so. In that way, you put me in the position to watch you pine after this other girl and drive myself crazy. Not to mention shatter my confidence and trust. – _Breathe, Lauren, goddamn it. Why do tears sting so much? Ow!_

Was that it? Could he jump in and start explaining and convincing and groveling?

A hand shot up to his face as Lauren puffed out some air, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

And the worst thing, the thing I can't believe, I can't wrap my head around is – you knew how that felt! You knew how awful it was to watch someone you cared for care for someone else. That's the part that makes me hate you. And doubt all the great qualities you seem to possess. Cause how could that person, who knows exactly what kind of hell he is setting me up for, let me walk into that trap? – She could no longer keep her hands from covering her face; the instinct and desire to hide and protect herself were too strong. Besides, that was the heart of the matter. She had already said it.

Resisting the urge to make physical contact with her and comfort her, as that might end up in sidetracking them or making Lauren recoil, Jim swallowed and steadied himself before beginning. – It might make you want to punch me to hear me say this, but, believe me, I _know._ I honestly did think about that, _so_ many times. What I was even doing and how unfair it was to you that I would get unsure or confused, not be able to reassure you. After you traded down for me, in more ways than one, some would say, and came here and were putting up with all of our idiosyncrasies, let's call them. And I wished so many times that we both would have just gone to New York in the first place. I really thought that management position I got was our ticked out of that whole mess and I would finally get to make it up to you. But! – He noticed Lauren looking away and he knew full well that he hadn't addressed her main question yet. – To give you the real answer, the embarrassing and actual truth, I _needed_ you there. That's why I asked you to come with me. I was sure I would sink back down and get into my old habit of playing some martyr, some long-suffering Romeo who was taking no chances and just criticizing and tormenting everyone around me because I couldn't get out of my own way. – He ran his hands through his hair, it was getting long again, and he fell against the couch. – And it had been _years_ , literally, _years_ since I really felt anything for another girl. The first day I saw you, it was like remembered something crucial I was forgetting for a long time. You were exciting and funny and so fucking smart, I couldn't tear my eyes away from you. – He stopped, knowing Lauren was not one for compliments and this could potentially make her clam up again. He leaned back in and demanded she focused and listened. – Can you imagine how that felt? Completely selfishly – this has nothing to do even with you personally – can you just imagine how amazing that felt to me? To want to be around another woman, a real one, not some unattainable idea of a woman, who was brilliant and sexy as hell and enthralling and who, it seemed like, _liked me back_?! – He asked in astonishment, like a miracle was happening in front of him. – I couldn't believe it, it was the best feeling in the world. And, again selfishly, I loved it. I was so high on it, I felt alive after a long, long time. – He sighed, happily. – Weirdly, it's such a relief to be able to tell you this. – He smiled as his eyes reddened a little. – I couldn't tell you before, I was terrified of you knowing the whole story and how it would make you feel, but I'm so glad to be saying it now. Knowing you and being with you was like magic, as corny as that sounds. Love had sucked so hard for so long and you came along and, all of sudden, it was a joyous experience. It changed my whole life. – He stopped to wipe away some tears glimmering in his eyes before they spilled out. Seeing him cry instantly made Lauren tear up again, it was an automatic response she had, even when the sight of the other person suffering didn't tear her apart. – So, because of that, I was horrified at the idea of being without you. Especially back in Scranton. I had visions of you going to New York and me going back and just having you call up one day to tell me you were back with Joe and Pam getting married and me just never recovering at all. I was in a full panic. And then I saw us together, wherever, and I kept feeling stronger and better and I just felt like I needed you there. I couldn't do it alone. And every time I felt like I let you down and saw you put the pieces of what was going on together, I hated myself and I regretted all the things I was too cowardly to tell you. So, knowing all the pathetic and humiliating details now, I hope you can believe me when I tell you, I am so sorry. Yes, I know exactly what you went through and my mistakes orchestrated that torment, but I regret causing that more profoundly than anything else I've ever done. – He put his hands together like he was praying and directed them at her, in supplication, like he was lasering in all his honesty and regret straight at her.

They again shared a long, strained look before falling back against their respective bits of the couch, away from each other, exhausted by the intense exchange on emotion.

* * *

They sat in silence for who knows how long. It was comfortable and healing, it felt like they were on the same page after a long and excruciating period of guessing and worrying.

Hearing that he needed her as much as she needed him, or more, was so good to know. She had had doubts about that ever since that stupid sales trip they took where Phyllis blurted out to Hannah about Jim's _crush_ on Pam. The feeling that she mattered to him was slowly eroding ever since, even though he was attentive and kind and sometimes straight up aggressive at trying to pursue her and show her that he cared. Having heard his side of the story and how much hope, in love and life and himself, she had given him reassured her she wasn't crazy and imagining all the qualities she loved about him and that it made sense that he stirred the same emotions in her.

I do, by the way. – Lauren said, not even fully aware she was speaking out loud. – Believe you, that it. Not the other thing. – She clarified and they both laughed. – It makes sense and I know you're not some scheming, heartbreaking jerk. I just wish… I dunno, I keep thinking if I had known all of it earlier, we might have… I dunno. Maybe not. Maybe it would have ended—it might have been so much worse. But whatever, I know now and I'm glad, I guess, that I do.

I will stop apologizing at some point, but I do need to reiterate that I am and continue to be sorry. I go over it in my head and I also go over the other stupid stuff I did, to other people or to myself, but I none of it feels as bad. – He sat back up as he talked and looked at her, less affected than before, but still honest.

I'll probably get tired of hearing it at some point, but for now, it feels pretty good. – She admitted and leaned her face against her hand as she watched him.

It felt like airing out some old stuffy room that was impossible to be in before. It used to be painful for the two of them to be close, but now it felt like the Sun was shining in and the room was fresh and warm and comfortable. The silence that continued to surround them now felt lighter and even kind of optimistic.

Am I gonna get a knee in the groin if I ask to hug you now? – Jim ventured. Lauren laughed and got up to walk over to him. He got up and they wrapped their arms around each other and held close. A few deep breaths and some snuggling to get settled in later, they slowly pulled apart. Lauren took his hand and tugged it so he would sit down on the chair and she took his previous seat on the armrest. He rested his arm over her leg that was hanging down by him and she leaned the side of her body against his shoulder.

Another lesson here is, in the future, you need to hide your shit better. – Lauren teased, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear. - Didn't you ever hide weed from your mom as a kid?

Jim laughed. - Oh, I'm way ahead of you. – He tapped his pocked. – You gotta know where you Horcruxes are at all times and who has access to them.

She froze for a moment. - You have it with you?

Oh, yeah. I couldn't predict where this conversation was going. – He said, giving her a sheepish look that he knew full well did it for her. - I've had it with me a few times already. – He shrugged.

What? – She pushed against shoulder to arch her back and get a better view of him, to make sure he wasn't just pulling her leg.

Yeah. You've had several near-proposal experiences and you don't even know. – Jim looked at her dead on, knowing this would freak her out.

She pondered for a moment and, having convinced herself it wasn't a joke, asked. - Like when?

Pfft, I'm not telling. – Jim looked away, rolling his eyes like what she was asking was absurd.

Why not? – Lauren was getting interested now.

Well, for one, it's private. – He said, slightly miffed. Of course it was something serious for him and he wouldn't just spill his guts and tell her when and how he had thought of asking her. - And for two, it might clue you in as to when the _next_ one is coming. – He said before he even planned out the sentence and mentally slapped himself across the mouth. Lauren closed her eyes and shook her head incredulously, trying to reboot her brain after what she was almost sure she heard.

When the portent of the words settled in, Jim continued, deciding to let all the secrets, for lack of a better word, come out. – And it _is_ coming. – He said low, leaning in close to an unmoving Lauren. She swallowed and searched for something to say, but he pushed off her leg and got to his feet. - See you at work, Webber.

What? – She scrambled up as well, disoriented and shocked that he was just leaving all of a sudden. She felt some relief because it was a huge jump from discussing how they even started their relationship and repairing some serious problems to his apparently still unwavering desire to pop the question some day and the idea he might have even done it tonight, but the sudden reawakening of all this trust and affection and desire for him made it viscerally painful to watch him go.

Oh, yeah, we've had enough bombshells for one night, I'm going out before I ask you to marry me or pass out. – He said, as she caught up to him and kissed her cheek quickly. He turned in the direction of the door, but turned back and took her hand. He kissed it, because that was what he inititally wanted to do and again faced the door and took a step forward, but having not let go of her, pulled her along and Lauren almost bumped into him. He stopped, flustered, and laughed awkwardly, struggling to turn around again in the small space in front of the door. Before he knew it, his hands were cupping her face and she balled up his shirt in her hands as she clung to his sides and they shared a quick kiss. He tried to push open the pull side of the front door and ended up almost hitting himself in the face and stumbling back into Lauren who was right behind him.

Um… So yeah. – He said as he stood in the doorway. Lauren extended her hand and they shook, like at the end of a business meeting.

Yeah. – She agreed with his general nerves and awkwardness.

See ya tomorrow. – He said with a final, decisive shake.

See ya. – Lauren said back, as they let go of each other's hands and she closed the door.

She leaned against it for support, now aware that her legs were jelly and her hands were shaking a little. She laughed, replaying what just happened in her head, asking _Oh, my god, what is going on with me?_


	42. Endgame

A month later

Lauren's TH:

So this is new. And quite refreshing. Finally, Jim and I are not the newest couple in the office. Not that we're a couple. – Lauren added, clarifying. – But Michael is getting real cozy with the new HR woman, Holly. And at last, I feel like I can relax and not have my personal life scrutinized. I finally get to scrutinize other people! Oh, my god, when he started yelling at us to continue with the ethics seminar – which nobody wanted to take, obviously – because he was crushing on her… I really liked that, good for him. – She stopped. – Um. I think I got sucked into it.

* * *

Everyone was preparing for the baby shower Michael was throwing for Jan's baby. That wasn't even his. Dwight was delivering a watermelon covered in butter and a bunch of other people were decorating and redecorating at Michael's irrational behest since nothing was good enough.

Lauren had texted Joe, asking what was good for swelling and he recommended some powder you dissolve in water and wrap around your feet or wherever, so that was her contribution to making the outstandingly pregnant Jan feel more comfortable.

Turned out the degree of pregnancy was so outstanding that the baby was already out. Jan came in with a small bundle in a car seat, looking put together and not too enthusiastic to be there.

Everybody rolled with it – what else could they have done – and Michael and Jan and little Astird had a private moment together.

* * *

I really can't imagine Jan as mother. Even now that I see it. – Hannah commented as the Party Planning Committee was scrambling to find suitable games now that the baby was actually here.

I dunno, she's a strong independent woman. – Kelly shrugged.

Who looks like she eats babies. – Phyllis added.

Mmh. – Lauren agreed with Phyllis. – Some people just don't have a motherly energy. Right, Angela, you'll back me up on this?

What do you mean by that? – Angela flashed her stank face up at Lauren.

 _You look like you couldn't carry a hamster to term, let alone a human baby,_ she thought. – Nothing, just… I meant me. I just don't have that _thing._

Oh, stop it. – Erin uncharacteristically interrupted and disagreed, looking around the room for the other ladies to support her. – I've met a lot of moms in my day and you're the typical cool mom. You tease the kids and all the little girls want to have long pretty hair like yours. Cool mom.

Oh right. Erin. Sad backstory. Jeez. Lauren shook her head, but Kelly jumped in. – Face it, Lauren, we've seen through your tough guy façade to your creamy center.

That's a mxed metaphor. - Lauren deflected.

Whatever. You're gonna grammar police your way out of this. Your pants are on fire, you have a creamy center and you're mommy material. - Kelly said.

Yeah. We've seen through your pants to your creamy center. – Erin playfully pushed Lauren's arm, totally oblivious to the other possible interpretation of that phrase.

That's what she said. - Hannah murmured and Erin agreed, yes, she did say that.

I don't know what you mean. – Lauren imitated Angela's stank face and everyone, but Angela, laughed.

* * *

…try not to suck all the air out of the room. – Michael warned Holly at the door after everybody filed into the slightly revised baby shower. It was quite rude and it broke the hearts of all the people rooting for them. Jim shot a question with his eyes at Lauren, who shrugged back, not getting it either.

Holly took it like a pro and mostly stayed out of the conversation, quietly nibbling on her piece of cake. Naturally, given Jan's self-obsession, the conversation veered towards the birth story, in agonizing detail. Most people didn't pretend they weren't utterly disgusted – hardly anyone was into having the baby shower in the first place, given the baby is some anonymous donor's and not Michael's – so many of them simply filed right back out, not listening to Michael who insisted they stay and listen. He was visibly upset he wasn't there and, to appease him, Jan finally let him hold the baby. She went to get a nap and Lauren decided to go and close the door, to give Michael some privacy.

Lauren. – He called out. She came in gingerly. – Could you take…just for a second? – He asked and handed her the baby before she really replied either yes or no. Lauren thought maybe he needed to readjust or something, but no, he just went straight out of the office.

Lauren held the baby awkwardly for a few moments before becoming convinced Michael was not returning any time soon and then settled on observing the child. She was not particularly cute. Lauren had no conviction that children were cute just by virtue of being young and tiny. She was mostly bald and her little mouth was constantly wet and chewing on something non-existent. However, the small sounds issuing from the baby were adorable and her protective instincts immediately overtook her. It was surprisingly enjoyable to just stand, holding a baby in silence.

Jim had come in – she could make out his tall frame from her periphery and, oddly, knew exactly how he opened the door and what his footsteps sounded like. He came up behind her and joined her in quietly observing the baby.

So who do you think she looks like – Michael or one of her biological parents? – He finally asked.

Lauren snorted. – Nobody yet. She just looks like a blob of cookie dough to me.

I dunno, you're looking at her mighty tenderly… - Jim noted.

I guess it's my creamy center showing. – She half-shrugged, swaying the baby.

Hey, whoa, an office is no place for language like that. – Jim warned jokingly.

Ugh – Lauren rolled her eyes – it's something the girls were talking about earlier… Nevermind.

No, no, I don't mean to ruin the moment. In fact, it feels very tender and intimate. Like the perfect moment to ask you something that's been on my mind. A lot. – Jim announced, placing a hand on her hip and coming close. Lauren bit her lip to stop a half-annoyed smile. She knew what he was doing. – I could see us, in the not so distant future, having our own bundle of joy. And that idea is really beautiful to me. So I could take this moment to get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. That would be pretty romantic and all.

Sure would. – Lauren played along.

Yeah, but that's tough, cause no way am I doing that. You know? – Jim explained, pretending to be disappointed by his inability to propose.

Mh-hm, it's a real bummer. – Lauren agreed, feigning similar disappointment.

Sucks. – Jim placed his chin on her shoulder to get a better view of the baby, which was now starting to stir and reach out her little arms. As Jim reached around Lauren to give the baby a finger to grasp, she couldn't help but go through his proposal pranks in her head.

The first was after Toby's leaving party. It had extended outdoors and eventually became quite an enjoyable affair with Michael's excitement being palpable and, honestly, pretty contagious. It even featured fireworks. Lauren had noticed Jim fidgeting somehow and looking like a child preparing to jump off the last stair when Andy, sort of unexpectedly and tactlessly, proposed to Angela.

A few days later, after ring-gate and their conversation, Jim had casually asked Lauren to go for a walk. The weather would soon change into windy and cold and the possibility of taking long, winding walks would decrease. She agreed and they chatted about anything and everything, like old friends. Eventually, the newly engaged couple came up and Jim very solemnly explained he had considered proposing himself.

What? – It made no sense. They weren't even dating and, besides, hadn't he told her just a few days earlier he wouldn't reveal how he had planned to do it?

Yeah, it seemed like a beautiful moment and I thought it might convince you I was serious about us. In fact… - He stopped a reached a hand out to her which she instinctively reached back for before registering what might be going on.

Oh, Jesus, Jim, what are—she started, but then Jim mumbled about how he thought he stepped into gum and used her hand as balance to lift up his foot and look at the sole of his shoe. – Fuuuuuuck you. – Lauren pushed away his hand, hoping to make him wobble. He did and she continued walking, not believing he was actually _pranking_ her. Who was she, Dwight? Jim caught up with her and gave her shoulder a playful shove in retribution.

What's up, Webber, you got all excited at the prospect of landing _this_? – Jim teased and without looking back at him, Lauren knew he was throwing his head back and shaking his hair, like he always did when he was being mock-sexy. Or as she called it – sexy.

Ever since, Jim has grown into the habit of teasing Lauren and pointing out perfect moments for a proposal and then underlining how he was _not_ proposing to her in that moment. And he was good. It wasn't so often that it was commonplace and she was expecting it – it was just often enough to rattle her every time. On the occasions when she saw it coming, like today, she would play along and, though she wouldn't yet admit it to anybody, she was getting more and more excited about eventually being asked for real.

In other news – Lauren changed the topic – Michael seems to have read _The Game._ Did you hear how he negged Holly?

Yeah, that was weird. And he's not fundamentally a mean person, I dunno what got into him. – Jim agreed.

Unbeknownst to the other, each had hatched a plan to talk to one half of the hopeless prospective couple.

* * *

Lauren had handed the baby off to Phyllis and went into the annex to find Holly.

She was sitting at her desk, doing some work and didn't seem particularly bothered.

Hi. – Lauren announced her presence.

Oh, hello, Lauren. – Holly smiled. – Do you need anything?

Um… - Lauren didn't how to start and she particularly didn't know how much to say given that she knew there were cameras around. Fuck it, she decided in the end, she had come to try and help, hadn't she? – You're probably the last person I should be talking to about this so candidly, given you're literally the person who should be keeping us in line, but uh, I just wanted to say… keep your chin up. Though you do seem to be doing that anyway. Michael is acting really weird and he's not usually this mean. I think maybe – Lauren lowered her voice as she came to the heart of the matter – he doesn't want Jan to feel threatened by…how well you two get along, you know?

Holly looked around a little uncomfortably. The sweet little dork probably didn't even how obvious their mutual crush was to everybody. – Oh, I… yeah, I didn't notice him being particularly mean or anything, but thanks. That is kind of you. – She tried to be diplomatic about it.

I don't want to make you feel uneasy, I just sort of went through something a little similar here...—Lauren started and Holly nodded knowingly.

Jim. – She stated.

Lauren was a little surprised how confidently she concluded that. Since Holly had been here, she and Jim officially weren't dating, as far as the office was concerned, and they only spoke as friends, though that included banter and suggestiveness, but most people seemed to accept they were over with. – Um, yeah. You know, once upon a time. – Lauren was quick to add. – But there were some things I wish people had told me at the time that would've put my mind at ease. – Holly again nodded knowingly and Lauren was surprised. She hadn't been at the office that long and she wasn't exactly in people's confidence yet, so whatever she seemed to know, she had to come to through her own observations. – So I guess, my point is just that Michael will be back to his old self in no time, I'm sure. – Lauren finished, somewhat hurriedly and waved Holly goodbye.

* * *

Jim had looked for Michael in the office, then was told he was down in storage, then Darryl told him he had just missed him and he finally caught up with him at the kitchen door. He was about to speak when Jan came in, looking displeased and started complaining. Of course, right then Holly came in through the other door and, judging by her expression, immediately wished she hadn't. Caught between a rock and a hard place, Michael announced to Jan he needed to talk to Holly about her hygiene, as she smelled like old tomatoes and dirt. Jan stormed past the two men and Holly retreated dejectedly.

So you wanna go tell Holly that she doesn't smell kinda like Dwight's farm or can we talk real quick? – Jim demanded after a beat.

Shoot. – Michael said, looking at his feet.

I think I know what you're doing because… I did it too. I was trying to protect the feelings of someone I used to care about cause I didn't want them to feel less because of the new person that was becoming important to me… - Jim started and Michael prompted him to go, seemingly oblivious to the point that Jim thought he had made very clear. – But don't. – Jim spelled out.

Michael pursed his lips in thought and looked like he was gonna find some excuse for his behavior.

No, listen. – Jim stopped him. – You gotta ask yourself: who is endgame? And then don't make _her_ feel bad. Cause I nearly pushed _my_ endgame away trying to have my cake and eat it too.

Michael thought about it and, after he was convinced that he finally understood, Jim gave him a pat on the back and exited the kitchen.

* * *

As they were leaving work that day, Kelly spread the news that Michael had finally asked Holly out on a proper date.

Jim was chatting to Oscar by the coat rack as Hannah and Lauren approached.

Finally, right? – Oscar agreed with whatever Jim had said. – Maybe that was why he was acting so strange today.

Given all the stuff that happened today, can you blame him? – Hannah added, waiting for Lauren to fish out her jacket.

Lauren saw the sleeve and was putting her bag on the floor when Jim intercepted it and hung it over his shoulder. Again, Lauren bit back a smile, remembering the very first time he had done that back in Stamford. She could feel him looking at her quite deliberately, knowing the exact patient, hooded look he wore even without turning to look at him. Oscar had said bye and Hannah knowingly took a few steps towards the door, giving them a little privacy.

I feel like cheesecake. – Jim announced, seemingly out of nowhere. – You feel like cheesecake? – He asked.

Sure. – She finally turned to him as she took her back off his shoulder. In the past month, they had gone on casual hang out dates, hardly ever even bringing up their status, hardly ever making any physical contact, but eye-fucking the entire time and filling up the room with so much romantic and sexual tension that most people flat out refused to be around them. More than once, they tried going out on double-not-dates with Danny and Hannah or Tom and Jennifer, Jim's brother and sister-in-law, who were newlyweds and new parents and were initially thrilled to be out of the house and away from their own infant, the social repellent. However, it was apparently more excruciating to be around two people who seemed to revel in how much frustration they can cause the other than to endure sleepless nights and crushing social isolation.

* * *

Once out of the door, Jim also invited Hannah and told her to make Danny come out too and she was all set to say no, having not concealed from them how weird it was to be on their not-dates, but both Jim and Lauren assured her they would be good.

Within the hour, the four were a bar that also served some food. They were enjoying a selection of spirits when Jim suggested he and Lauren share a slice of cheesecake since she didn't feel like having a whole one.

No! – Hannah shot down the suggestion resolutely. – She can have some of mine. You're not licking and sucking and staring lustfully and ignoring us again. – She threatened and Danny nodded, looking uncomfortable at the language Hannah was using.

Jesus. – Lauren's eyes went wide at the description.

Oh, shut up. – Hannah kicked her lightly under the table and the two laughed.

Soon, Jim and Danny were engrossed in conversation and Hannah and Lauren brought up Joe's newest exploit.

Yeah, apparently, he's wanted to get a pilot's license for a while now. – Hannah said.

I think I remember him mentioning that at some point. I just always immediately think of poor Kat and how she must be freaking out about another death defying thing he's taking up. – Lauren added.

Yeah, but after skydiving, this almost feels like a step back – at least now he'll be _inside_ of a plane. Or helicopter of whatever. – Hannah reminded.

Lauren was about to answer when she felt her phone vibrate. – Oh, it's my cousin, Lara. I'm just gonna step out.

* * *

A few minutes later, Lauren came back into the bar, visibly deflated.

What's wrong? – Jim got up when he saw her face.

She tried to force a smile so as not worry anybody too much. – Relax, it's nothing… tragic. – She waved her hands and all three eased up a bit. – Lara just told me my dad was made redundant.

Oh, honey. I'm sorry, that sucks. – Hannah immediately put an arm around her. Jim remembered her fussing about the recession a while back. It seemed she was finally vindicated for worrying so much.

Yeah. – Lauren shrugged, not wanting everyone's night to go to waste. – I think I'm gonna go home and watch TV or something. – Before they could all protest, she added. – I'm not too bummed or anything, but I just think I'm gonna be distracted and I don't wanna to put a damper on the evening. You guys stay and have a good time, I'll see most of you tomorrow. – She winked as she squeezed Danny's shoulders.

I'm driving you. – Jim announced in a tone that left no room for discussion. Nobody but Lauren was gonna was protest anyway.

Yeah. You take her, Hannah and I are gonna finish our drinks and head back home too. – Danny backed his friend up and the group parted ways.

* * *

On the ride back, Lauren explained that that weekend, the family was coming together and Lara decided to give her a heads up, so she's not caught off guard. Jim, of course, offered to drive her, but she politely refused.

Thank you, it's really lovely of you, but the mood is likely going to shift halfway through. – Lauren joked half-heartedly. – I'd rather bring you home some other time. – She confessed. Jim understood.

At the door, he offered, like Lauren knew he would, to keep her company. – I still have the key, I'll just sneak out when you fall asleep. – He explained, pushing her hair off her shoulders and letting it cascade down her back.

After it had settled into place, Lauren responded. – I hate to turn down two consecutive thoughtful gestures, but there's no need. I'm really not despairing, I'm just gonna let it sink in.

Jim nodded. He took a small step forward and planted a comforting kiss on her forehead as she snaked her arms around him. – You're a kind, thoughtful man, Halpert. – Lauren voiced her thoughts.

Yes, I am. – Jim accepted matter-of-factly and made her laugh. Both were satisfied his charm still worked on her even in a moment like this.

As they stood apart, she contemplated kissing him, like she had many times in the past month, but decided to wait just a little bit longer. She didn't want their last first kiss to happen in the midst of any kind of sadness.


	43. Auction

The mood over the weekend was rollercoastery. Naturally, the family was happy to be together, Lauren got to see some cousins she didn't see much of – she and Lara speculated who might be wilder than they let on in front of the family, whose marriage was secretly hell, which cousin was gay…

Lauren was pulled aside by her parents before the big lunch where everyone would be packed together and announcing big news, to be told in private about her father's being made redundant. She told them that she had suspected it might have happened, not wanting to rat out Lara having told her beforehand. Her father assured her mother and Lauren everything would be alright, if not ideal, and she should resume her life as if nothing happened. All three knew that would be impossible for Lauren to do, but she agreed to try not to overthink stuff or feel unduly responsible to take care of them.

At lunch, after her dad broke the news, he had also thanked the family members who had already found out and surreptitiously offered to help and continued to say he already had some other possibilities on the horizon. He had even privately, with Lauren and her mom, brought up the idea of starting his own business. His lifelong passion was woodwork and the only thing that was stopping him from pursuing it professionally for the past twenty odd years was a stable job he had had. Both women urged him to take some time first to consider it thoroughly.

Late that night, most people had dispersed and Lauren and Lara retreated to Lauren's old bedroom where they discussed favorite and least favorite family members, boys, books and hair care.

* * *

Tomorrow, around 11am, when Lara woke up, Lauren had already been out for a run and was preparing a snack when Lara called her into her room.

Listen, last night I told you I wanted to show you something when my laptop was charged? – She prompted and Lauren nodded. – Ever heard of Second Life?

Um, I think so… It's a game, movie? Something nerdy, I'm getting a nerdy vibe… - Lauren thought aloud.

Sure, maybe. It's this platform where you can make an avatar, a representation of yourself, and then interact with other people. – Lara explained.

Ahh, yes, I think Jim teased Dwight about it a while back. – Lauren finally remembered.

Well, that's a perfect segue because actually… - Lara opened something on her laptop and spun it around to face Lauren. – I think I found Jim on there. – She giggled.

Lauren read the profile. - Name: Jim... Samtanko? Where does that come from? – She looked at the avatar. – It definitely looks like him. His old disheveled hair. Is that a guitar strapped to his back? What a douche. – She giggled with Lara, actually remembering his old look quite fondly. – Even his face looks all goofy. That might just be the game, though. Let's see what else it says. Groups: Member of Clear Islands, Member of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, Inc, yeah it's definitely him then. Member of Friendly Fire Friends, Member of Official NBA Fans, obviously. Member of Philadelphia. Ugh, here we go. Member of Philadelphia Eagles Fans. Of course. At least I know he's not there to try to pick up chicks. About: Sportswriter for the Philadelphia Bugle. Ha! No, you're not. Oh, Jim. I can physically feel the second hand embarrassment. Paper salesman for Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, SL Branch. There you go. You big liar. Favorite Food: Italian; Soft-shelled crab. Sure. Big fatty.

He's not fat. – Lara smacked her arm.

Okay, obviously he's not. But he's soft, you don't know, you haven't touched him where I've touched him. – Lauren insisted.

Ew, shut up. – Lara smacked her again, this time genuinely reproachfully.

Whatever, I like it. – Lauren shrugged, laughing at the mental image she clearly invoked in her cousin's head. - Nicknames: Big Tuna; Big Haircut. Car: Saab 9-2X. Favorite Teams: Philadelphia Phillies; Philadelphia 76ers. No one cares. Interests/"I Want to": Anything but paper. That's true. Be able to spell Søren Kierkegaard first try so my girlfriend will be impressed. – Lauren stopped and pouted affectionately, taking in the words on screen like they were a love letter. It took her back to the time when Jim was taking up her interests and trying to woo her that way. – Awww, he means me. – She nudged her cousin.

Yeah. Very sweet. Don't you feel bad for calling him fat now? – Lara scolded.

I do. He's the sweetest. – Lauren cooed, feeling like she would blush any moment. To get around this, she read on. - Skills: Thinking up ways to torture Dwight, Making a mean French toast for the old lady on her cheat day. - Hmm. That _was_ what he made the day after he forcibly moved in. And that time she pulled her tendon and he was taking care of her. And after she spent her first night at his place. Huh. Looks like French toast _is_ her weakness. She didn't even know that.

* * *

Jim insisted on being at her place when Lauren returned, in case she wanted to talk. She relayed some gossip and talked smack about some family members, but the only serious take away was that she needed to be more careful about money because, regardless of what her parents said, she wanted to help out. By the time she had finished the bath Jim had drawn, the one she made fun of him for, but thoroughly enjoyed, he was already asleep in what until recently had been his room.

Gee, and here I thought I was gonna score tonight. – Lauren muttered quietly as she made her way to her bed.

* * *

The following week, there was more bad news. There had been a robbery at the office and, after some investigating, it came out that Michael and Holly were doing the nasty at the office after hours and hadn't locked up. The logical solution, of course, was to hold an auction to try to make up some of the losses. Everybody knew it would be a big failure, but, hey, that's what made these Michael-orchestrated events fun.

* * *

This is just cruel. We're wasting time and there's no way we're recuperating any losses. – Lauren noted over lunch.

Well, hold on. Maybe we have some hidden treasures that people will wanna scoop up. – Kelly retorted.

I doubt it. – Lauren muttered, not wanting to get into the crossfire of Kelly and Ryan making eyes at each other.

Guys, I think Holly is in actual trouble if this goes badly, maybe we could actually try to get something good. – Hannah told Lauren, Jim and Oscar, the only people she thought might take it seriously.

I don't think I have anything anybody would want. – Jim shrugged.

You don't? – Lauren raised an eyebrow at him. He shook his head. Lauren faced away from the table and spoke in a low voice. – If I recall correctly, you have a certain ring that you're putting to little use by actively not proposing. Maybe Michael will want it to remember us by after he gets fired for boning the HR rep and I marry my new boyfriend.

Oh, you got a new boyfriend, do you? – Jim challenged, trying not to smirk.

Yeah. We hooked up back in Stamford this weekend. He's an oil magnate/astronaut who patented the penile reduction surgery.

Did he now? - Jim prompted.

Oh, yes. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's still eye-wateringly large, but it's at least manageable now with some local anesthesia.

Jim nodded and then extended a hand. – Well, I know when I'm beat. It was an honor to be considered for the position of boyfriend/potential husband at some point, but Moon rock beats paper.

…and Lauren could auction some off some sexy self-defense or some sexy yoga! – Kelly was finishing off her suggestions to the room.

Why does it gotta be sexy? – Jim asked, failing to sound casual.

Cause sex sells, Jim. Grow up. – Kelly threw back. Kevin and Phyllis agreed.

You're not wrong. – Lauren started and Jim had made up his mind that nobody would outbid him in case his crazy future wife actually went through with his ridiculous suggestion. – However, I would feel pretty gross auctioning something like that off. Besides, I just remembered my cousin was bragging about having a signed Mamma Mia playbill from last year and he owes me for not outing him before Christmas. – Oscar shot her a look, but she was prepared. – He wanted the whole family to be there, so he could maximize the amount of money he got by being so brave so that he could buy himself a vanity mirror he's been eyeing. – Oscar was appeased.

Oh, that's cool. Maybe I could get Danny to auction off one of his jerseys. – Hannah thought out loud.

No way. – Jim fired back, knowing his friend and how much he would hate giving up such a treasure. – He would rather auction off a finger. Also, keep in mind you're supposed to auction off something of your own.

Great, I'll auction off some of my student debt then. I'll even throw in those awful high heels I'd only ever worn to Phyllis' wedding. – Hannah barked back, sure that she couldn't come up with anything good for the auction.

Phyllis looked hurt, so Hannah had to explain that the wedding was lovely, but that her shoes were killing her.

Ohh, but those were so cute! – Kelly melted.

You don't wanna save them for my and Angela's wedding? – Andy was still beaming from them finally setting the date.

No way, Andy, I'm never wearing those again. – Hannah shook her head remembering how she almost wanted to cry as she walked to the car at the end of the night, having previously sat barefoot at her table for about two hours.

There you go. – Jim leaned back in his chair victoriously, happy he had saved Danny from having to be chivalrous and fork over one of his beloved jerseys.

Fine, I'm killing two birds with one stone then. – Hannah rolled her eyes at him.

* * *

The auction had come and gone and everything unfolded just as everyone knew it would. Some of the more useful items fetched a decent price, some of the items went to partners and spouses of the person offering them, so ultimately that made no difference on the money lost, but most were a waste of time, like Michael's obviously bogus Bruce Springsteen tickets. David Wallace was kind enough to offer a weekend at his place in Martha's Vineyard, which was the best item, aside from Phyllis' $1.000 hug. Unfortunately, Wallace being there also meant that he saw Michael and Holly being lovey-dovey and, always the stickler for rules, had Holly transferred to Nashua.

* * *

A few weeks later, in the parking lot, Jim was waiting till Lauren arrived on her bike and walked her inside.

Getting a bit cold for the bike, isn't it? – He noted.

I'm making it work. – Lauren shrugged, wistfully remembering her car owning days and hating that she would most likely be sentenced to public transportation once winter came, since she was now in super frugal mode and buying a new car was out of the question. She had even stopped going to the gym and getting the expensive weed from her guy. Joe was disappointed to hear this and promised to score her some grass that would knock her socks off once he got home.

Hey, so I was thinking, I never got to auction my thing off back before Holly was transferred. – He tried to bring it up casually.

Oh, we managed fine without you. – Lauren decided to make it hard for him to play whatever he was playing.

Yeah, I'm sure, but I think you might be interested in what just came up.

And why is that?

Because I am willing to make a onetime offer, to go to _Ana Maria's_ , with yours truly, on a genuine date. – Jim said in an announcer's voice, but then actually turned serious. - I don't wanna psych you out by not proposing or spend the night in front of your TV; I want us to go out again. It was great the last time we were there.

That's true. – It was close to a year since the last time she had gone there. It was their ten month anniversary and Jim had gone all out. It was probably the best date she had been on. – But what brought this on?

Well, we haven't gone out in a while. Plus, I'm feeling pretty good. Those customer reviews Kelly collects are coming up and I've been killing it. So I got some big plans floating around in my head.

Alrighty then, let's not get ahead of ourselves. – Lauren cautioned. – Besides, if words gets round, I might get outbid.

Okay then, let's bet that I'm the best performing salesman this quarter and forget the bidding. – He stepped in front of Lauren and extended a hand to shake.

And if you're not?

Then I have to drive you to work once it gets too cold for the bike. – Jim offered.

Deal. – Lauren accepted. – Now I kinda want you to lose.

* * *

Jim's TH:

Those reviews affect bonuses and lately, Lauren's on her way to becoming a gold-digger. Which totally plays into my hand. I don't know why people are complaining, this recession has been pretty sweet for me so far.

* * *

Jimbo, you're up! – Michael called, after Dwight received his usual dismal reviews.

Wish me luck. – Jim said in general, looking in Lauren's direction. She shook her head no while smiling, more excited at the prospect of being chauffeured than getting a date; they would go on dates anyway.

No way. – Dwight shot back, assuming Jim was talking to him.

You tell him, Dwight. – Lauren chimed in her support as Jim patiently smirked, sure that he would nail the reviews.

* * *

Jim emerged with a face that Lauren immediately identified as actually sullen, as opposed to the usual fake sullen face he pulls before he delivers good news. The sinking feeling in her stomach made her realize that she would have been much happier walking all the work in the freezing cold than see him so dejected. Stupid love. She just hoped Dwight wouldn't lay into him too hard.

When they got a moment alone, she gave his hand a supportive squeeze.

He put on his best _I'm okay_ smile. – So, as it turns out, I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.

Was there any explanation? – Lauren asked as she played with his long fingers; it was still fascinating to her how long and large his limbs and digits were, he was almost like a big doll to her sometimes.

Well, Michael blamed it on my "smugdeness".

Lauren snorted. – I see. Personally, I think it's because you spent the whole quarter chasing after the Quality Assurance girl.

Could be. Worth it. – He leaned in, as if he were telling her a secret. – She's very private, so don't tell anyone… But I was this close to getting a date.

They shared another bittersweet, sympathetic moment before Lauren clasped her hands around his head and brought it down, so she could give him an encouraging kiss on the forehead. As he stood back up, he leaned his forehead against hers and enjoyed her presence and support.

I know what might cheer you up. A nice dinner at _Ana Maria's_? – Lauren jabbed him in the side to get him to perk up a little.

She could tell from his sad eyes that he wasn't in the mood to go, but it was still flattering that he was trying to internally talk himself into it. – That sounds like absolute heaven – he spoke in his low voice that he knew full well made a shiver run down Lauren's spine – but I'm very deflated and there's some heavy stuff on my mind, I don't wanna take you out on a horrible date now that you finally wanna go.

That's fine, don't worry about it. I actually have a plan B to hopefully make you feel better. – Lauren raised her eyebrows a few times suggestively.

Tell me.

Nah, you'll find out later.

* * *

Jim's TH:

I need a decent bonus because I'm actually in the process of buying my parent's house so that they can retire. And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford. Lauren also doesn't know about this and getting great reviews and a good bonus was a key part of a plan I have for us, so… A lot of fun surprises.

* * *

Jim and Dwight ended up conspiring to get to the bottom of things, both sure they could not have scored as low as they did. After some investigating, it turned out Kelly had thrown a party the weekend of Joe's wedding that Jim was supposed to attend, but then he unexpectedly took Lauren. Hannah and Lauren were always scheduled to go, so Kelly held no grudge against them, plus their work didn't get reviewed like Dwight's and Jim's. In order to be a supportive not-girlfriend, Lauren hung back on her break, getting numbers and waiting as Jim made calls to check what kind of reviews he'd received.

So this is about a dozen people, all saying they gave me great reviews. – Jim was more stern than usual. Lauren didn't expect him to take reviews to heart so much or be so serious about Kelly's list.

Then we were right, she messed with the report. Now we nail her. – Dwight got the excited, evil glint in his eyes he always gets when he is given the opportunity to pick on someone.

That's what he said. - Lauren said automatically and continued. - If you can, work into the conversation how Kelly hates improve comedy; Michael's really gonna hate that. – Lauren suggested, completely getting on board with Jim's dissatisfaction, even she didn't fully understand it, and letting her vengeful streak flare up; she was able to come up with awful punishments when she indulged her baser impulses.

Jim noticed and shot the camera a proud look.

* * *

That evening, Jim received a text from Lauren that read simply "Second Life". He texted back "What about it?", but no reply came. Eventually, he thought he would log in and try to figure out what she meant, but he was sure that nobody he knew played the game. He himself hardly even logged in, but the character he created for himself was aspirational and melancholy at the same time. On an evening like this, it might feel good to dive into that world.

Once he logged, he found a message from someone called Lauren Yalom.

 _I feel bad that you missed the chance to be at the auction we had at the office a while back. I was doing some cleaning in my Phillies jersey and no pants and I just happened to find a coupon for some sexy yoga lessons lying around. You wouldn't be interested in that by any chance?_

The chat that ensued put the money issues out his mind.


	44. Frazzled

Jim was feeling ecstatic and sad at the same time – the sale of his parent's house was finalized and he was a bona fide homeowner now. This was thrilling beyond words, but he had done it in secret and the one person he wanted to share it with still didn't know. Although his heart told him that a reconciliation between he and Lauren was imminent, this was still a huge leap forward. Why did his parents have to retire now and not in a year or so? By that time, hopefully, he and Lauren would be long engaged and in the midst of planning a wedding, so a house would make perfect sense.

To get his mind off the arguably crazy decision he had made, he decided to do some immediate renovating in the garage, though he would have preferred to dump most of the furnishing and the decoration from the house, sure that Lauren would want to do that as soon as she walked through the door. However, the awful wall art clung to the walls as it were supporting the house, and not the other way around.

* * *

His concentration about keeping this endeavor clandestine was obviously slipping, since Andy brought the house up out of nowhere.

"So, Tunes, you're buying your old man's house?" – He asked casually and Jim actually felt his knees buckle from the surge of panic. He whipped round and was relieved to see Lauren and Hannah were not in the break room.

Sure that he went pale as a rag, Jim asked - "How do you know about that? I didn't tell anyone."

"I was just walking by your desk and I saw some emails." – Andy shrugged, obviously unaware that Jim was dying inside. – "Got the peepers of an eagle."

Jim shaky response of "That's really not cool" was cut off by Kevin's probing question as to whether he would live in the house where he used to pee the bed.

"Listen, I know how gossip spreads around this office, but I am begging every one of you not to tell anyone about this, okay? Especially Michael or Dwight or Lauren." – Jim pleaded, fearing that all three would know by the time lunch was over.

"So you _are_ back together? See, I told you!" – Kevin exclaimed at Andy victoriously.

"Well, then the missus and I will just get you fresh invitations to the wedding and send them to your parent's address." – Andy playfully punched Jim's shoulder.

"I don't think you really heard what I was saying just now. Lauren and I not together; to my great dismay, you know exactly how complicated it is between us. So. No. Joined. Invitations. To be sent. To my parent's house." – Jim enunciated slowly, hands clasped together, as if in prayer to the gods of putting your foot in it. – "And please do _not_ mention any of this to anyone outside this room."

"Don't worry, Jim." – Phyllis assured. – "We won't tell. Besides, it's so romantic, we don't wanna ruin the surprise for when you get back together."

"Really?" – Jim felt relieved, if not fully convinced, and thought it was sweet that people were cheering for their reunion. – "Thanks, Phyllis. I'm really nervous about how this will look, I just wanna be careful about how she finds out. Way down the line." – He once again warned everyone not to blab.

"It will be fine. Bob bought out house without consulting me and I loved it." – She explained.

"Yeah? You didn't mind not choosing?" – Jim almost leaped forward, desperate for some confirmation that this could possibly play out well.

"Oh, no, not at all. But Bob's so extravagant, I knew it would be spectacular." – Phyllis gushed.

Damn Bob and his freon money. Jim had struggled all along with the guilt of feeling like his parent's house wasn't good enough to impress Lauren, which was an awful thought. It was where he grew up and had some of the best memories and he knew his parents poured so much time and so many resources into it, he wanted to slap himself for even thinking it and being an insecure ingrate. Still, he couldn't deny that the house didn't particularly stand out in any way… He was brought back into reality by Phyllis's disturbing comment about how the house has a maze in the back, like in The Shining. Well, his place – huh, now it was _his_ place, that's a neat thought – had one thing going for it over the Vance mansion.

"Where is your place?" – Phyllis asked.

"Er, it's on Linden Ave, by the quarry." – He answered, feeling utterly inadequate. After Phyllis was visibly disappointed and Creed suggested they should hang out and throw stuff into the quarry, Jim felt a sense of dread for his future kids playing there and like he wanted to send everybody to hell.

* * *

Luckily for Jim, people were too amused by Michael having not realized that Toby was back to talk about anything else and hopefully, though not likely, they would forget about his house.

Another relief came in the form of a snooty note left above the microwave in the kitchen. Someone, obviously Angela, left a note berating the person who left a dirty microwave behind. Thankfully, such minor incidents tended to fill whole days with indignation and back and forth, so Jim industriously fueled the fire.

"Wait, it wasn't you, right?" – Jim asked quietly after Angela denied writing the note. Her style was more nagging and actual confrontation than passive-aggression, after all.

"No. I couldn't care less about messy stuff." – Lauren shrugged. It was true. Her kitchen was always only half clean. If the oven was clean, the counter was a mess. If the freezer was organized, the fridge was a crime scene.

"Good. I wouldn't wanna rile up the masses and then have you chased out with pitchforks." – Jim nodded as he sipped some coffee.

"Since when are you into office drama? You never rile anybody up." – Lauren asked and he almost choked on a sip of the coffee, like in a slapstick comedy.

"I'm not, no." – He hoped he didn't look too deer-in-the-headlights answering. – "It's just, y'know, obnoxious." – He shrugged as he made for the door.

"It's not that big of a…" – Lauren thought it was a little unusual, but Jim said he couldn't hear her and he had work to do. That was definitely unlike him.

* * *

Blithely unaware of Jim's turmoil, Lauren had her own little secret she was wrestling with that day. After the shameless flirting they done on Second Life, she was all giddy again and was trying not to do all the schoolgirl clichés now, like giggling, blushing and biting her lip when she ran into Jim. His being annoyingly cute and out of sorts was not helping. To get her mind off things, Lauren tried doing some work for a change.

Oh, boy. It was Pam's day at the office. Ever since she came back from New York, she sort of had her old job back, but then there was also Erin, who was now supposed to be secretary. The junior salesman position hadn't worked out because word came from above that no new salespeople were to be taken on. And since Michael still had a boner for Ryan, he was a temp again, meaning there were officially too many people doing the job that a new phone could mostly replace. Michael's big solution was to write an illegible signature on the employment contract and have Pam and Erin be at the receptionist desk on alternate days. Today was Pam's day and Erin was to loiter around the office and warehouse. Lauren would tell herself that it was just work and she shouldn't be weird about interacting with Pam, so she was managing pretty well. The one who was more uncomfortable was definitely Pam. She always seemed embarrassed and hardly even looked her in the eye. Jim avoided her altogether, to the point that he even printed his own stuff and gave out his extension to customers, so they could reach him directly. When Lauren approached with some faxes for Wallace's office, Pam was engrossed in writing a note.

"Getting in on the outrage?" – Lauren asked, gesturing to the kitchen and michrowave-gate.

"Hum?" – Pam jerked herself upright and crumpled the piece of paper under the desk.

"The whole microwave thing is escalating, the last note has threats of violence. I think I'm gonna take it down, Toby probably won't like hearing that." – Lauren explained.

"Or, uh, y'know, maybe leave it. Maybe the person who made the mess will finally do the right thing." – Pam suggested, a bit of indignation in her voice.

Lauren's face broke into a surprised, but delighted smile as she figured it out. Pam pleaded with her eyes for her not to say anything and Lauren mimed locking her lips. - "These are for Wallace's office, so please fax 'em after you tear that person a new one." – Lauren winked and went back to her desk. Pam looked pretty pleased as well.

* * *

"Why not just say, ''Hey, whoever did that, please clean it up', y'know? It's the whole anonymous preaching thing that's annoying." – Oscar complained to Kevin and Jim.

"Totally, right? Then it wouldn't be such a big thing." – Jim was pushing himself to participate in these conversations to keep the outrage going and distract anyone who might possibly blab about the house.

"We should take turns and keep watch and see who puts what up." – Kevin suggested and both men felt compelled to say yes and bring the whole hullaballoo to an end.

* * *

Michael and Dwight went over to Toby's section in the annex and soon, there was some rumbling coming from there. Kelly could be heard excitedly yelling 'Hit him!' which made some people perk up.

Meanwhile, after Angela bickered with her for a minute, an exasperated Pam came out from her desk and spoke to the room. - "Everyone, I have an announcement to make. I'm the person who put the first note on the microwave. But I did it because it needed to be said."

"Why did you hide behind anonymity?" – Oscar demanded; it was obvious he was dying to ask that all day.

"Be…cause I was scared. But if that's my only crime, is it worse than leaving behind a filthy microwave?" – As Pam responded, Oscar shot Jim a 'can you believe this' look which Jim returned. Lauren caught this and decided to mess with Jim about it. It had been a while since the mess people were arguing over had nothing to do with her or them, so she thought she was starting to get why Jim was getting involved – it was fun.

"Just clean it up yourself if it bothers you so much." – Stanley echoed what everyone was saying all day.

"It would have taken less time to clean it up than to write all those notes." – Stanley countered. Pam said that that wasn't the point, but then Kevin and Andy started teasing her about too fancy and New York for the office now. While this discussion was getting more and more heated and Pam openly praised New York as exciting, Lauren came over to Jim's desk.

"Why you startin'shit up, Halpert? Work so boring?" – She offered.

"What are you talking about? I'm just being" – Jim started, but Lauren cut it, saying she wants in on the fun and he shouldn't pretend like he's not acting out of the ordinary. Phyllis told her not to worry too much about it and winked at Jim, probably thinking she was very subtle. Pam was now openly arguing with Angela, Meredith, Kevin and Oscar, who still could not get over the anonymity. Jim tried to jump into that argument, but couldn't back Pam, not wanting to provoke Lauren, and he also couldn't back the mob that was just resentful that Pam got to do something cool. Phyllis, meanwhile, was trying to get Lauren to believe nothing was going on, which only made her more aware of how bizarre it all was. Andy saw the three of them and deduced from Jim's face it wasn't going well, so he jumped in, saying how the Tuna Man has some stuff on his mind and maybe we should leave him alone. More cries of 'Hit him, Toby!' came from the annex and Jim suggested to Lauren maybe they should check it out. The three shouting matches were getting more out of hand and Jim was contemplating if physically pushing Lauren and Pam into their seats would at all resolve the situation because Phyllis and Andy were seconds away from ruining his life. Suddenly, two police officers appeared at the door, saying they received a call.

"Oh, thank god." – Jim shot up from his chair and went to meet the officers, grateful for the silence that greeted them. In seconds, everyone was at their desk and the police officers searched the office for drugs. Dwight, being the former volunteer sheriff's deputy, ushered them in and revealed he might have some information. In the end, it turned out it was a fake tip and Michael tried to frame Toby and get him fired. For his part, Jim was thrilled. Not only was there the microwave debacle, but also the Toby/police thing. People should be talking about that for days.

* * *

"No, Hannah said it was just caprese salad. Crazy, right?" – Jim was telling Kevin and Phyllis by the coat rack when Lauren came up to get hers. Instinctively, Jim grabbed it and reached out to hold her bag as she put it on. Don't blush, you idiot, Lauren reminded herself.

"But who called the cops?" – Kevin was still not getting it.

"Michael did. Hoping to get Toby fired maybe or something." – Jim explained more earnestly and patiently than he usually did.

"Wow, you are _so_ invested in this story, huh?" – Lauren asked mockingly.

"It's a regular thriller/action movie. It's the real Threat Level Midnight." – Jim vascilated between nodding meaningfully at Kevin and throwing Lauren an 'I'm just kidding' look while trying to avoid looking at the all-knowing camera that's been following him all day.

"So weird." – Lauren shook her head at Jim.

"Not weird at all." – He deflected, nodding goodbye to his two coworkers.

"So very weird." – She continued, more passionately.

"Well, it's past quittin' time, bye, everybody!" – He said as he pushed Lauren swiftly out the door and down the hallway.

"I'm gonna have to watch you like a hawk now, Weiro W. Weirdenson." – Lauren teased as they came out of the building.

"Alrighty then, you do go ahead and do that." – Jim surrendered, thinking it better to admit something is obviously off than attract further attention.

"I just might."

"Go right along."

"I will."

"Good."

"Good."

* * *

Rather than stay late clearing up and sleep at his new house, Jim felt over-diligently tried to act normal and went back to his official apartment for the night, pulling his hair out over how he was going to stop the three amigos from letting his secret slip.

The doorbell rang.

"Hey, weirdo." – Lauren greeted as he opened the door. – "I'm here to cross examine you." – She informed him as she sauntered seductively in.

His mouth was open from the surprise and fell open further as he took in the leather trench clinging tightly to her body, the nude legs and high heels.

She sat down and slowly crossed her legs, looking at him expectantly.

"Oh, my god" was all he could muster.

"Can a girl get a drink around here?" – She asked innocently, batting her lashes at him. God, this was stupid and should probably feel humiliating, but he was an awesome guy, so Lauren decided to go the whole nine yards and give him the fantasy that is practically universal to all men and really commit to he role.

"Er, uh… Yeah. Yes, of course." – He sputtered out, as nervous as a schoolboy. Alright, she would give him about one more minute to get it together or this was gonna be a bust.

He poured some alcohol into two glasses and was gonna put them down on the coffee table when he saw it was full of papers. Papers! All the paperwork for the house was still strewn around the living room and his legs turned to jelly, along with his brain, which had totally shut down the moment Lauren walked in.

She saw him get all confused about how to put down the glasses onto a cluttered table and, feeling rather flattered that he his soul still hadn't quite returned to his body, got up to help him.

"Let me." – She said getting closer to him than she needed to, kinda hoping they could dispense with the drink altogether and get to the good stuff.

To her unpleasant surprise, Jim shoved the glasses into her hands, and set about frantically gathering the papers. He was relieved that she took the glasses and did _not_ offer to collect the papers for fear that she should see what they were for. He put everything into a folder and got to his toes to place the folder on the highest shelf which Lauren hopefully couldn't reach even if she tried.

With a deep, steadying exhale, he finally turned to her, hoping he didn't ruin what might be the best night of his life so far. He definitely wanted to remember what would happen next.

"Mmh, it's kinda… hot in here." – Lauren tried not to laugh at her own corny line as she threw her hair back to expose her neck and some of her chest.

"Er, uh-huh." – Really, that's what you got? Jim's brain still wasn't at full capacity and he wanted to slap himself. He did the next best thing and shook his head as he stepped closer.

"Oh, and look, my hands are busy." – Lauren played all disappointed. – "Would you mind?" – She swayed her hips, indicating he should untie her belt.

"Not at all." – Jim finally managed a full, albeit short, sentence. He fumbled with the simple double knot for an embarrassing amount of time till her finally got it. He honestly felt some sweat starting to form on his forehead, like he was breaking the Enigma code.

"Mmh, thanks." – Lauren said as she pushed her leg between his, making his step back and fall onto the couch.

"Sorry, I'm a bit frazzled, I guess." – He explained and immediately regretted his choice of words.

"Frazzled, huh?" – Lauren asked, as she straddled him and opened her trench.

Jim took another moment to get the power of speech back. – "Yeah, uh… it doesn't happen often, but uh…"

Lauren shut him by crushing her lips into his and the frazzle was gone.


End file.
